Mandyland

Mandyland

By Mandy WintinkSociety & CultureSocial SciencesPersonal JournalsSexuality
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Mandyland episodes

  • 3 Part Series on Quitting Ultimate: Part 3 with the Community

    So I made a big decision recently, which was to quit playing competitive ultimate this summer. The process was gruelling for me and it brought up a lot of interesting things for me. I start with wrapping my mind around letting go of an identity (in my own monologue) to discussing my body with Mike and ending with confidence in how I want to grow old with my body and try to embrace death with Mike, Lindsey, and Bronwyn (and the kids in the background). Who knew it would be a spiritual journey to quit ultimate? Actually, it’s not that surprising when we consider how our egos get wrapped up in identities… and it failing to let go. The last conversation gets into so peripheral topics about what is an athlete and is it different for men and women? I also liked the deeper conversation about growing old with yoga. 

     

    Endnote: BTW, we ran out of parmesan cheese during that last conversation. 

     

    Self-Reflective Question:

    Is “athlete” a mindset or a physical characteristic?

    How do we grow up gracefully? Can yoga help? 

    Can yoga help you embrace your body?

    18 min
  • 3 Part Series on Quitting Ultimate: Part 2: Getting Out of My Head with Mike

    So I made a big decision recently, which was to quit playing competitive ultimate this summer. The process was grueling for me and it brought up a lot of interesting things for me. I start with wrapping my mind around letting go of an identity (in my own monologue) to discussing my body with Mike and ending with confidence in how I want to grow old with my body and try to embrace death with Mike, Lindsey, and Bronwyn (and the kids in the background). Who knew it would be a spiritual journey to quit ultimate? Actually, it’s not that surprising when we consider how our egos get wrapped up in identities… and it failing to let go. The last conversation gets into so peripheral topics about what is an athlete and is it different for men and women? I also liked the deeper conversation about growing old with yoga. 

    14 min
  • 3 Part Series on Quitting Ultimate: Part 1 Saying Bye to My Sports Identity with Mandy

    So I made a big decision recently, which was to quit playing competitive ultimate this summer. The process was grueling for me and it brought up a lot of interesting things for me. I start with wrapping my mind around letting go of an identity (in my own monologue) to discussing my body with Mike and ending with confidence in how I want to grow old with my body and try to embrace death with Mike, Lindsey, and Bronwyn (and the kids in the background). Who knew it would be a spiritual journey to quit ultimate? Actually, it’s not that surprising when we consider how our egos get wrapped up in identities… and it failing to let go. The last conversation gets into so peripheral topics about what is an athlete and is it different for men and women? I also liked the deeper conversation about growing old with yoga. 

    13 min
  • Process Learning (take 1?) with Jenn

    Background

    Jenn and I were meeting for a brainstorming session over “report cards” for home learning. We both highly value the importance of process a long with the outcome or the product. We decided to start discussing a tool to help parents (including ourselves) document the process of learning in their children, with a focus on learning that’s done at home. We don’t cover the nitty gritty of what we come up with — we’ll save that for later — but we discuss the value of process, other ways people/disciplines document learning, how to reward process, 

     

    Reflective Questions

    How do you feel about process? Do you value it?

    What measures are there to evaluate process?

    Have you ever left “breadcrumbs” to show where you’ve been?

    What’s the balance between a plan and changing as you go? 

    How can you both plan for an end point and also be flexible for change along the way.

    What language do you use to reward process, with kids or students or employees?

    What do you track? What do you capture in your reflections?

    What are your patterns?

    What are your themes?

    Prompted or impromptu!? 

     

    Resources

    Nipissing Development Check-List: http://www.ndds.ca/ontario

    Woebot: https://woebot.io/

    34 min
  • Depression and Anxiety with Dawn

    This is mine and Dawn’s first public discussion about her life with depression and anxiety. 
    There are so many things I love about Dawn sharing all of this but one thing that I think deserves extra attention is how articulate and wise she with her mental illness. It’s like she sees it both through her own eyes and experience but also through the eyes of some looking from outside and also someone looking with a clinical lens. We cover quite a few topics including what it actually feels like to live with depression and anxiety. She paints a very visceral picture of what it feels like in her body and the thoughts that go through her mind. If someone has ever questioned the physicality of depression and anxiety, they should hear how Dawn describes it. But I want to make it clear that this took A LOT of courage for Dawn to share this and then allow her name to be attached to it. She’s so articulate and seems to comfortable with all of this that it’s hard to really tell with her. But she deserves a huge applause for doing this. I am truly grateful and know her sharing her story is of benefit to others, whether it’s people with similar experiences feeling less alone or for people without these experiences to grow more compassion. 

    Resources
    * Treatment-resistant Major-Depressive Disorder (MDD): http://www.camh.ca/en/hospital/health_information/a_z_mental_health_and_addiction_information/depression/Pages/default.aspx
    * Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD): http://www.camh.ca/en/hospital/health_information/a_z_mental_health_and_addiction_information/GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder/Pages/default.aspx
    * Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD): http://www.camh.ca/en/hospital/health_information/a_z_mental_health_and_addiction_information/Social_Phobia/Pages/Social-Phobia.aspx
    * Postpartum Depression: http://www.camh.ca/en/hospital/health_information/a_z_mental_health_and_addiction_information/Postpartum-depression/Pages/default.aspx
    * Postpartum Anxiety: http://www.postpartumprogress.com/the-symptoms-of-postpartum-depression-anxiety-in-plain-mama-english
    * Panic Disorder: http://www.camh.ca/en/hospital/health_information/a_z_mental_health_and_addiction_information/PanicDisorder/Pages/default.aspx
    * Anxiety Disorder: http://www.camh.ca/en/hospital/health_information/a_z_mental_health_and_addiction_information/anxiety_disorders/Pages/Anxiety_Disorders.aspx
    * We are not our thoughts:
        * Eckhart Tolle: https://www.eckharttollenow.com/new-home-video/default.aspx?shortcode=qb8jfh
        * Mindfulness, with Jon Kabat-Zinn and Krista Tippet: https://onbeing.org/programs/jon-kabat-zinn-opening-to-our-lives/
    * Mindful Way Through Depression Book: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1593851286?tag=knoyoubra02-20&camp=8641&creative=330649&linkCode=as1&creativeASIN=1593851286&adid=0F7R69JBHSSQCXQFWG4T&

    Reflective Questions
    * How is fear of judgment affect your mental illness?
    * How do you respond to the question “How are you?”
    * What do you think is the relationship between anxiety and depression? Are they the same? Does one lead to the other? 
    * Are you surviving through life? Or thriving through life?
    * At one point we discuss “psychosomatic” as a confusing term with reference to the relationship between the mind and body. How do you understand that?
    * What does it look like to be compassionate with people with mental illness?
    * How self-compassionate are you? Can you practice it more?
    * What is the point of living if you’re going to be able to be yourself?
    * Yet, do you feel like you can be yourself?
    * How comfortable are you with others expressing their negative emotions?

    58 min
  • Everything is exactly how it should be

    Background 

    We’re at Merchants of Green Coffee in Toronto. Just before I started recording Mike said that he had the thought that everything is exactly how it is suppose to be. So I start recording as we are launched into a conversation about enlightenment, objective truth, and activism. Because we’re at a coffee shop, we have some great background music that sets a nice atmosphere, I think. The conversation ends with Mike's distraction. 

     

    Resources

    Merchants of Green Coffee: https://merchantsofgreencoffee.com/

    Anthropology of Childhood: http://amzn.to/2zDBHl3

     

    Reflective Questions

    Is there an objective truth? Or an objectively right or wrong?

    What major (or minor) belief systems do you hold and how has your environment lead you toward those specific belief systems? 

    How often can you let go, let things be the way they are meant to be, or to accept that everything are exactly how they are? What’s holding you back? Do you think it’s important to do that? 

    What changes when we are attached to an outcome vs. not attached, in terms of knowing our role or productivity or anything else.

    What’s your metric of success?

    Is it possible of moving an agenda without being attached to it, to the outcome?

    Do you ever consider the history of a person when trying to understand why they do what they do?

    36 min
  • Privilege with Bronwyn, Lindsey, and Mike
    Background:
    We’re having a house breakfast. It starts off with Ashar and Nyjah getting stuck while crawling under the couch. We’re talking about our white privilege and some of our resistances to our white privilege, particularly in comparison to disadvantages we might feel because of our gender and/or sexuality. Throughout the conversation you also get to hear us parenting our kids squabbles and requests. Around the 30-minute mark, I stop the audio and then when not recording Bronwyn launches into this great speech about what we should do with our privilege. So I start recording again but we don’t come anywhere near what she said. So it ends again… for now.
    Reflective Questions:
    * What opportunities do you hoard?
    * How do you check your privilege?
    * What do you do about your privilege?
    * Are people allowed to connect over shared experiences of disadvantages?
    * Do you feel like people with privilege are being silenced now? Or that they feel silenced? And if so, is it good for people to start to feel a bit uncomfortable as they learn how to navigate this new territory of equality?
    Resources:
    * This is the privilege video I was talking about: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uc0kUlBvPhg but I don’t like it because it’s run by a white guy.
    * But I like this one better, because it’s actually run by young black women and describes the process of debriefing it after rather than just having a white guy explain it to the kids: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzubW6e4P6g
    * Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In Book: https://leanin.org/book/
    * Man names to lead Canadian women’s advisory board: https://www.thestar.com/business/2017/09/14/man-named-to-lead-canadian-womens-advisory-board--again.html. And a critique: http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/09/15/womens-empowerment-organization-catalyst-canada-believes-in-strength-of-male-leaders_a_23211090/
    Post-Conversation Reflections:
    I keep thinking later on about my point about feeling like I want to do something with my privilege and not just "check it". I realized I said that I really felt uneasy about just being told I have privilege and not being able to do anything. But upon reflection, I realized that this feeling itself and my desire to take action, itself comes from a place of privilege because I am generally empowered in my life. So to feel helpless is uncomfortable and unfamiliar for me. And I have the luxury in life, generally speaking, to do something about that. Others aren’t as fortunate.
    37 min
  • Craft, Apprenticeship, & Mentorship with Mike
    Summary
    Mike and I somehow end up in a debate on “what is a hipster?” It’s an old conversation, from 2014. I honestly can’t remember how it started but it did lead to a deeper (?) conversation about craftship, apprenticeship, and mentorship. You have to wait about 10 min to get to that part but I found listening to us figure out what a hipster is, kind of amusing. Then, we talk about the difference between craft, apprenticeship, and mentorship compared to design-based problem-solution-type business models.
    Reflective Questions:
    * What sorts of investments have you made in a mentor or as a mentor?
    * Are you asking for help?
    * Who’s supporting your journey?
    * How would you define good mentorship?
    * If you were/are a business person, what style of business would/do you run?
    * Are you concerned more with the How or the Why?
    Resources:
    Devin’s company, Rekindle
    * website: https://rekindleyourlife.ca/
    * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rekindleyourlife/
    Huffington Post Article on PBR: http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/entry/pbr-coolness-study_n_5399109
    31 min
  • The neuroscience lens of coaching with Coach Quinn
    Summary
    This was a planned discussion about the role of neuroscience in coaching between myself and my friend and colleague Quinn Simpson. Quinn is a coach who works primarily within education. We cover a lot of topics including creativity, neuroplasticity, change and capacity for change, stress, decision-making, intuition, empathy, how to be present with others, and how to self-reflect on our own biases as a coach. We end with a look at how neuroscience can provide tolerance and compassion for others.
    Who would be interested in this:
    * Coaches, either in training or who have been working professionally as a coach for some time.
    * Anyone who is just interested in applied neuroscience, and by that I mean people who want to know about principles of neuroscience and how they can be applied to personal development, life skills, emotional intelligence, decision making, and that whole consortium of topics.
    Reflective Questions
    * Ask, don’t tell.
    * What is the quality of your thoughts?
    * Mandy said her job as a coach is to inspire action-oriented thinking and awareness. What do you think your job is?
    * What are you using your brain for? Are you using it to ruminate over to-do lists or are you leveraging your natural capacity for growth?
    * Do you have any “sunk thoughts” (i.e., like sunk costs)?
    * How much change is good and bad? What is your change capacity right now?
    * How will you change your brain today?
    * What’s the value of providing time for reflection, to find their own lens?
    * Quinn asked, "What is it about humans neurologically, makes us want to give advice?” What is it about YOU that makes you want to give advice instead of just let answers come from within?
    * When you believe someone has the answers, your questions are going to be different. Can you think of examples?
    * How do you use emotions in your decision-making process?
    * What does the coach need to do to most effectively manage and to reduce the impact of themselves on the coaching? What can the actually do to fully be with that person and not in their own head?
    * Does Neuroscience provide you with tolerance and compassion for others?
    * Does neuroplasticity allow you to encourage change, in yourself or others?
    59 min
  • Podcast coaching with Paul
    Who would be interested in this?
    * people considering starting their own podcast
    * people who like to think about the process of podcasting
    * content people
    * people who like to watch other people’s projects unfold, kind of like Start-Up Podcast audience. 😉
    Paul’s coaching me to start my Mandyland podcast. We recorded it in the summer before it launched. We start this session with Paul discussing his proposed coaching process and then we talk about Mandyland. He helps me figure out some of the details and clarify some of the concepts. We cover why I did not feel inclined to be very niche-like with this podcast. Why cover the “why” of what I am doing. Paul also challenges me with the fractured aspect of my work as he tries to wrap his head around all that I do. I resisted it, as I typically do. He asks the questions I hate the most: What’s the common thread? What connects all these things that I do?
    This probably isn’t the most interesting conversation from an outsider’s perspective but it is the background and it is part of my process. So if you like people’s process you might like this one.
    Self-Reflective Questions:
    * When is the common thread YOU?
    * When do you come back for the person?
    * When do people come back for you?
    * What are you doing that won’t get stale?
    * Why are you doing a podcast? Why are you doing any of the work you’re doing?
    * I’m not the only who has seemingly fractured work. So how do we link it? Do we? What’s your hub? What’s your core from where you build out? What’s your home base?
    * Can you describe the common element of your work?
    * Are you unfocussed like me?
    * Are you making it as easy as possible for people to find you? To connect with you?
    Resources:
    * Paul’s Website: http://pauldore.com/
    * Mama Brain: www.MamaBrain.ca
    * Body Monologues: www.BodyMonologues.ca
    * Our Community Living Website: http://www.homeshared.ca/
    * Rich Roll: http://www.richroll.com/
    * Lena Dunham: http://www.lennyletter.com/women-of-the-hour/
    * Start-Up Podcast: https://gimletmedia.com/startup/
    1 hr 27 min

About Mandyland

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an insight into the wonderful people, conversations, and topics that are present in my life. In any given week I end up talking about neuroscience, motherhood, education, feminist and a variety of…