Scripture tells us that we can learn to live in the new self in Christ and be patient, kind and gentle with those around us. However, sometimes in marriage we find ourselves impatient, often critical and certainly not gentle with the people that we are closest to in life. This marriage workshop is designed to help couples understand how the marriage itself can be a powerful tool to help transform us into a new person in Christ, not only changing who we are in marriage but also who we are to others around us. Backed by good psychological principles and sound Biblical teachings, Terry and Sharon Hargrave will help incorporate recent research about the brain and how people change into an informative and entertaining presentation.

In this third session Sharon and Terry continue to answer questions from the couples in the audience.

Our journey with Matthew takes us through hills and valleys of Jesus' ministry to lead us to grasp what was at stake. The text is difficult because it takes us back into the world of disputes of 1st century Israel. Jesus never rejects the practices of the religious leaders in their day. But he intensely disagrees with the Pharisees' traditions that make them more specific than scripture and with the idea that they define God's poeple. In this contect of "washing hands" Jesus calls the crowd to hear a parable: what comes in and what goes out of the mouth. The pharisses saw that Jesus' parable did not ultimately just apply to washing hands. It undermines their entier system of religious authority. The heart has always been God's main concerne. There the deep pollution of life festers and comes out in word and action.

Jesus Insists on Being Alone...

Matthew has led us through Jesus' challenging kingdom parables: varied soils, hidden yeast, mixed fields/nets, treasures that cost everything. Jesus returns to desire solitude. He pushes the disciples ino their boat, dismisses the crowds, goes up the hill alone and prays.

It was a Dark and Stormy Night...

Then Jesus came, walking on the sea. Everyone knows it's impossible, under any normal situation. The simplicity of it says, Jesus doesn't relate to the world as I do. Rather as creator to something he's invented. The universe, even the most astonishing parts, is God's creation, your Father's world.

Fear and Faith and Doubt and Jesus...

Then something really astonishing happens: Peter. In the wind and waves, he asks Jesus to command him. Jesus knows Peter. Peter knows it's impossible. This is a doomed attempt. But it's not failure! It's wonderful success. It is the very embodiment of faith: He gets out of the boat! He tries and does what no human can do as he comes to Jesus.

Touching the Fringe...

They get in the boat and then the wind stops. In the final scene, Matthew repeats the hard situation of people thronging around Jesus, wanting healing from him, streaming in from every quarter. We are the people of little faith. We never do more than touch the fringe of Jesus. But that is the Kingdom of God. That is wonderful!

A Window to See and Experience God's Kingdom

Matthew has taken us deeper with Jesus into the challenge of seeking God's kingdom. Parables: the varied soils, hearing and not hearing, hiddenness, mixed up reality, pearl worth everything.

We've watched events / parables of the negative side: Hometown offence; King's murderous power. Now he points us to events that take us into the newness / wonder of the in-breaking kingdom. Both involve divine power, but show how ordinary disciples are drawn into that power and learn. First is the feeding of throngs in the wilderness the only miracle of Jesus in all four Gospels.

Deep Reservoirs of Meaning for Jesus' Actions

Matthew simplifies and focuses the narrative. He points us to the clearest resources for seeing the larger meaning of the story: wilderness, lack of food, people in need, miraculous bread. ۬All echo the Exodus deliverance. Manna in the desert. God provides. But also the people must learn what it means to trust God in a larger sense, God's word, promise: Jesus' temptation. The creation/gift of bread/life comes to fulfillment only in the last supper and death of Jesus.

But the story has even wider resonances in the gift of grain celebrated in so many rites. The creator of grain and fish does quickly what he otherwise does slowly. Corn king. C. S. Lewis.

Perceiving People through Jesus' Eyes and Hands

But Mt lets us watch not abstractions but concrete events. Jesus responds to John's murder by seeking to be alone. Sadness, the dying has begun. He knows where it leads him. He goes by boat to a deserted area. It's natural! But the persistent, needy crowds! They see him, pursue, demand. No respect, no consideration! How would I react? Leave me alone! I need some space!

But we watch Jesus. His deep compassion shapes how he sees the demanding throngs. They may understand no more than the people of his hometown, but they come with real needs. They're seeking. His personal desires turn into compassion and flow into powerful service for people.

My Good Ideas in the Hands of Jesus

But we also watch the disciples learning Jesus' compassion. Time passes. The line is unending. People also need food. They won't go unless Jesus sends them away. It's the right thing to do.

We've understood things so far. But now Mt helps us see the surprise of God's Kingdom. Jesus loves their idea, but says the need is not to go away; they need food. You give them some! €¨The command throws the disciples into a quandary. We're unprepared. How can you ask this? "We have nothing here except €¦ five loaves and two fish." Nothing! Except €¦ something. €¨Again, like Moses in Exodus: I can't do it. They won't believe me €¦ "What is that in your hand?"

Jesus says, "Bring them here to me!" When Jesus commands, he participates. He gives himself in the command. A continuation of his compassion. Leading the disciples. There's more power, more possibilities than you think. The disciples learn by handing the loaves over in trust. Jesus takes what they have and sees it within God's power. He breaks it apart, and gives it back to them. Their compassion and Jesus' command stand. "You give them some!" Now, astonishingly, they can fulfill both! The 12 baskets show the abundance of God's renewa.

Learning the Revolution of God's Kingdom

The miracle almost disappears. Or rather it spreads through the whole like yeast. God and God's rule are present everywhere here. Jesus' compassion. The crowds seeking. The disciples imitating. Receiving Jesus' surprising challenge. Giving what they have to Jesus. Receiving it back and giving it to others. Matthew says look! God's rule is here in every moment.

What's more, this is the same God who was with Moses and with you today. Seek him! Seek him!

Misunderstanding from Familiarity and Foreignness

"Ears to hear!" It was characteristic of Jesus' teaching/parables that many "heard" but did not really hear or grasp what he was saying. Matthew has led us through many episodes, but wants us to engage the challenge, because it continued, then and now. Mt chooses this point to recount two episodes that are like little parables of misunderstanding and danger.

"Familiarity breeds contempt" it's a cliche. It also blinds people. We already "know" him. Jesus just taught people to be nice to each other. He was a great businessman, small group leader, revolutionary, popular philosopher, religious mystic, apocalyptic visionary, positive thinker.

Jesus was too long ago and far away. He's too divisive and dangerous. He can't speak to us. ۬We want a spirituality all can share without changing, not a Lord who calls to discipleship. ۬We're in a different world with different issues. We can't admit Jesus' power in our world.

At Home among those who "knew" Him

We've never been there, but we can recognize the hometown scene. People who've known him since childhood, as a carpenter's apprentice with his father, etc. We learn something of Jesus' family: four brothers all with good biblical names, like Jesus/Joshua. At least three sisters. Mary is known, but Joseph seems gone. At least 8 children left. Our people.

When they hear Jesus now, they're astonished, but don't understand. They see Jesus not in terms of an in-breaking kingdom of God, not in terms of embodying God's actions for his people. ۬How could they? He trying to be a Sage, a Wise man, a Wonder-worker. Where did he get this? It's not us, not from us. The real Sages of the Law oppose him; are after him. Etc.

Jesus is not surprised. He keeps a low profile. But note, this isn't the end of the story. Jesus' own brothers didn't believe in him now, but his crucifixion and resurrection brought faith.

Notable Enough for the Powerful to Notice

For Herod Antipas, ruler of Galilee, it was as if Jesus just now appeared on the scene. He had recently executed John the Baptist, and he can imagine that Jesus is John resuscitated. ۬He just popped up on the radar. No history. Suddenly famous. What to make of him?

John is the best pigeonhole they have for Jesus. And it's a dangerous analogy for Jesus. But Jesus must fit into some category. "Powers?" sounds like a prophet. John is haunting me.

Herod Antipas and Herodias and the Death of John

The story of Herod imprisoning/killing John was well known, recounted in Mt, Mk, and Lk, and in the Jewish historian Josephus with varying details that reflect the complex motivations and guesses at motivations. Herod Antipas had publically divorced a princess and married his niece, Herodias, who had divorced her husband. John condemned the marriage. ۬Jesus noted John's role as Elijah.restorer of the people, forerunner of the Messiah.۬As Elijah was hated by Ahab and Jezebel so John had Antipas and Herodias.

But there was more. Josephus recounts how popular/powerful John was becoming and Herod's fear that he might lead a rebellion, and thus imprisoned him in Macherus fortress. Herod's mindless promise to his dancing step-daughter was just the irrational excuse to kill him.

In the meantime, the divorced princess's father Aretas attacked Herod and destroyed his army. Josephus says that many thought this defeat was God's punishment for killing John.

Then Herod learns about Jesus. He's haunted by John. Is Jesus John revived? Matthew wants us to see the amoral irrationality and danger of such a 'king.' The opposite of God's kingdom.

For Jesus, all the various oppositions simply showed the vast human brokenness and need for the very life, forgiveness, healing, and new Lordship, that God was bringing in through him.

Jesus knew that those who saw themselves as devoted and holy were also sinners. He knew Isaiah 52 flowed into Isaiah 53. Who really sees the Lord's arm bared? What is that great and glorious power? It is the suffering servant! The kingdom was breaking in and we did not recognize it. But that was God's way. His majisty, beauty, power in the servant's wounds that heal us.

That's what makes God's kingdom so wonderful and strange. Not something simple like the hundreds of political coups. Jesus pushes into our minds two splinters. Everyone is looking for meaning, deep satisfaction, something that makes a difference. Mone? Fame? Power? Jesus says learning God's way, followeing his suffering servant, aligning your life with the love and purpose of the creator of everything (including you). A treasure, a pearl.

Do you understand? Jesus asks. Yes. No. The more you do, he says the more you will realize that what seems so radically new and challenging is in continuity with that God has been doing. The wanderer, the pear merchant, the fish, all become the master of the house in God's kingdom.

Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said: "People of Athens! I see that in every way you are very religious. 23 For as I walked around and looked carefully at your objects of worship, I even found an altar with this inscription: to an unknown god. So you are ignorant of the very thing you worship-and this is what I am going to proclaim to you.

"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands.  And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything. Rather, he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else.  From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands.  God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. 'For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.'

"Therefore since we are God's offspring, we should not think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone-an image made by human design and skill.  In the past God overlooked such ignorance, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent.  For he has set a day when he will judge the world with justice by the man he has appointed. He has given proof of this to everyone by raising him from the dead."

Jesus' parables both reveal and conceal. Jesus was partly in the role Isaiah had been in: announcing God's grace and judgment, and watching his people choosing a path toward disastrous judgment, destruction. So many were unable to believe him that God was calling them to a new path for a new time. They had their own ideas about God's kingdom and Messiah.

Jesus saw things through a different lens with different purpose. He called everyone, including the "pure," to transformation in the midst of a broken world. Radicalism of "us pure" against "them impure" is popular. Radicalism of transformation by God's gift of grace is hard. I want a Messiah that recognizes how good I am and invites me, rather one that sees how broken and weak I am and transforms me. Jesus doesn't kick out the tax-collectors or the Pharisees.

Be wheat? That's not exciting. I want to be a revolutionary, a change agent. I want to be part of an elite, pure community sent on hard missions for God. Well, maybe? There are real challenges. But being wheat means recognizing that this is God's kingdom, not mine. He is doing his work. I'm the receiver of his grace. I live only by his power, his planting, his love. I give only what is his.

The important thing about the disciples is that they are with Jesus with eyes and ears open. They often don't understand. But they listen; they watch. They are not fixed in place by their power, wisdom, responsibilities. Matthew places us with the disciples. Blessed because we can see more: Cross and Resurrection. He recounts this because we and our generation face the same challenges. God's kingdom as a living reality is still as challenging, faces the same opposition, grows with the same power.

Carl delivers a powerful message on the Sunday before Martin Luther King Jr. day.