✦ Hello and welcome back to the Many Faced God newsletter.

This issue is part two of my mindful soul-reflection of my first visit to Germany and builds on the last one. I spent a LOT of time on the audio, and if it suits you, listen along while you read this issue. If you missed the first instalment of Germany, you can read it here and come back later.

Each week I present a soul-offering that centres one of the following, rotating angles: mind, body, spirit, community and personal experiences (which I call ‘field notes'). To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Rothenburg ob de Tauber

My intimate contemplation of God's face reflecting in Germany began in Rothenburg ob de Tauber. And if you ever get the chance to go, I believe you will know why. It is hard not to get inspired there. A medieval town stopped in time, perched on the side of a mountain overlooking green plains, shop windows filled with classic toys, teddies, candies and gelato. We got there at dusk, the sun casting an eerie light over the stone walls. Church bells, and birds filling my ears. It is here that I started to think of Grandma Emmeline, and what kind of world she may have lived in before finding herself on my island.

A gentle breeze from Hushabye Mountain

Softly blows o'er Lullaby Bay

Many of my German mental references came alive here in Rothenburg ob de Tauber: the love for sweets, meats and chocolates, the cute overalls, and jolly dispositions. The criss-cross wood panels on the buildings, and the flowers in the windows. The positive stuff, but also some more unnerving mental images of Hansel & Gretel's cannibalistic witch and the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. In fact, I felt this association so strongly in my bones that I decided to look it up, and Rothenburg ob de Tauber was indeed the filming location for the Child Catcher scenes in that film. I was intrigued by my body's incredible awareness and by the nature of said awareness. How funny is it that while Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is one of my most beloved childhood films, giddy wasn't the thing that led me to the discovery, but instead, an unshakable spook in my veins.

It fills the sails of boats that are waiting

Waiting to sail your worries away

This may sound weird to you, but I often feel most connected to ancestors when I have intuitive blurts of my mind to unpleasant, sometimes unsavoury things. I think about how the fears and discomforts of my ancestors sit alive and well in my genes and that their fears and traumas drive my evolution. So when I feel unnerved, especially out of context, I listen to that feeling, allow it to surface and nuance my experience. I thought about how Vulgaria, the imaginary version of Rothenburg o.d.T. that banned children in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, was quite literally a dystopia. Yet I was drawn to it as a little girl come up to adulthood. I thought about its setting and how of all places I ended up here on a random business trip with my fiancé when I had many other choices of places to stop. I wondered about, if once upon a time, Grandma Emmeline feared for the future of her children in Germany?

So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain

Wave goodbye to cares of the day

Rothenburg ob de Tauber, or Red Castle Above the River Tauber erected in 1070, may be one of the most breathtaking places I have ever visited. It is one of three of the only fully preserved medieval old towns with full walls in Germany. But I have to warn you, it is extremely touristy. The town was much fuller than Göttingen, but 99% of the people there are tourists. I saw people from China, the US, Korea, Japan, Spain, Italy. This place is more of an attraction than a destination. As my Reddit tour guide explained in his recommendation, "It is super touristy-- but there is a reason for that!" Certainly, there was, and I am über glad I came.

And watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain

Sail far away from Lullaby Bay

Each week I present a soul-offering that centres one of the following, rotating angles: mind, body, spirit, community and personal experiences (which I call ‘field notes'). To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Stuttgart

Based on the logistical needs of the trip, I spent most of my time in Stuttgart. It was a bustling time for the city, as they were hosting the football Eurocup 2024 at their stadium. When I was looking for hotels the week before in a rush, I couldn't find a single thing within budget. The rooms were few, the quality looked s**t, and the prices sky-high. It wasn't until we were already in Germany that I realised it was because of the games AND the convention coinciding for the same week that the prices must have been so ghastly. I ended up going for a shared Airbnb to the south of city centre that looked like a warm nook, properly lived in and decorated with love. It was my first time doing a hosted airbnb with my partner, and I was a bit nervous he wouldn't like the experience. Personally, hosted airbnbs have always been one of my favourite ways to increase my CQ on trips and feel like I have made a genuine connection with the place. I have done it a handful of times in South Korea, and Japan-- each time feeling like I have gained family and real insight into the real lives of ordinary people in the city. Of course, it can be a gamble though. Sometimes, the people are not so kind, and the place is not so great, which is why I was a bit nervous to gamble with not only my satisfaction, but Kai's.

Exiting the A7 after a bout of sun showers, we emerged out of a tunnel and onto the hills of Stuttgart, the elevation higher than I was expecting. We drove in some circles through the cramped streets and got a glimpse of the city before arriving at our Airbnb. Already, I was feeling quite at home, which was saying something because that was the first time I felt that way since arriving in Germany. It was the hills you see. As a Jamaican, I was born and raised surrounded by mountains. There are barely any places in my hometown that you can be where you can't see the large and protecting stature of a mountain. It seems in my DNA to feel safe at elevation, and unnaturally exposed on wide open plains.

Our airbnb host, lets call him Kalle, was super sweet. The place was everything I had hoped for and even less 'produced' than I expected. Many people doing this hosting thing have lots of systems in place, and a home or set up that reflected their traveller’s mind more than their home-bodied mind. Kalle informed me though, that he and his wife rarely hosted and they only really opened up this time because they knew the games were on and figured someone may need a bed to crash. He mentioned being a bit worried about who would book, and was hoping for someone youthful and chill-- as I said it's always a gamble with these hosting gigs. I chucked to myself, knowing we were both worried about the same thing.

The choice ended up working out great. We got lovely recommendations for places to eat and to enjoy the palpable energy from the games pulsing through the city. Sports isn't even really our thing, but it is hard not to enjoy when everyone is so hyped. We also had great conversations with Kalle, over his own travels, book collection and marriage experience, exactly the kind of tantalising post-small-talk engagement I was hoping for. If Kalle is to speak for Germans in any capacity (which he does and also, doesn't if you know what I mean), then I learnt Germans are direct, chill, but detailed, and internally busy, buzzing about unbothered. At some point I asked him if he was stressed, as I saw him buzzing about the apartment getting ready to leave. He assured me he wasn't in the slightest bit stressed, he just loved to utilise his time well.

✦ What are your impressions of Germans? I’d love to hear in the comments!

As an added bonus, Kalle was heading to Sweden for Midsummer (Summer Solstice) in the middle of our stay, so we ended up getting the whole place to ourselves for two days.

All in all, the time in Stuttgart felt like a breath of summer air, a swole city releasing pent up energy. There were constant whiffs of strawberries and wildflowers. Garden restaurants were packed with families and friends chatting about the same old same old but with energy and interest. There was football, national-pride, wide-windowed trams, much too small matcha lattes for 6 euros, artisan pizza, snitzel, pretzels, slanted streets, and sun-warmed stone.

If I ever move to Germany, I think I will go to the South :)

The Drive to Munich

Our last evening in Germany before we jumped in a car to Munich airport was spent out in the strawberry fields among little kids and their mums and aunties.

When I was growing up, eating berries was a serious luxury. Every box of raspberries, strawberries, or blueberries costed a small shaving of gold and my parents made sure I knew that berries were for special occasions only. It didn't help that from ages 0 to 11 I was deathly allergic to strawberries, sent to the ER on their account on three separate occasions. So when I finally could enjoy them I craved them like mad! Anything involving them, I wanted. Seeing the little kids out in the fields made me realise how core of an experience berry picking and summer berries in general must have been to little European children. My closest German friend replied to my happy stories frolicking in the strawberry fields and told me how she used to work on a berry farm in her teens. Out on the fields, I could channel the peaceful, joyful European summer innocence; channel my inner-child. I was soaking it up. In that moment, I filled my basket with more than strawberries-- I filled it with love.

The next day we both got up early, fixed up the apartment, turned on the dishwasher, and ran out the house. And I mean that in the literal sense because we had to drop off work equipment and make it to the airport to fly back to Shanghai that morning. It was Kai, me, the autobahn and a box full of love against the clock. We blasted early 2000s reggae for a power boost, and let the backdrop of German wildflowers cheer us on as we zipped past.

Thank you for reading this post!

If you feel aligned consider subscribing, tipping or finding out more about me and my 1:1 services on my website.

Your small donation of a coffee a month can help me to keep going and make better and better content!

Hello frens,

I’m back with another sit down and chat podcast instalment! I’m really enjoying these, and hope you are too. If you are reading the newsletter in your email, never hesitate hit reply and shoot one back. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

We have been taught that struggle and martyrdom are virtuous.

We have been praised for our screams, our battles and our sacrifices more than we have ever centred our laughter, our joy and our love. Life has always been and will always be difficult, and in the face of adversity, we are told to harden and give it our best fight.

→ But I suggest to you, that there is no future in suffering, there is no lasting change in pain.

Even if we succeed in erasing the source of our pain by fighting it with more obtuse affliction of pain, we will one day look back and realise there is nothing left to fight for. Fighting fire with fire, gives us not only a bigger fire, but also leaves behind nothing. Nothing but desolation, and destruction— soil burnt to ash, with no nutrient left to grow new love.

Mind you, this is not a call for anger celibacy, where we hold hands together and sing Kum-ba-ya with the backdrop of famine and war,

…but rather an invitation for joy and celebration for those who need it.

If we want a world where pleasure is available and afforded to all— we must also value our own pleasure, ease and joy and teach our children to value their pleasure, ease and joy— so that they may never accept any less than the peak of connection and love. We must intimately associate ourselves with pleasure, so that we know it when we see it, that our kids know it when they see it. So that we may move forward— towards true connection and love.

Sometimes I feel…

that as a movement, we the activists, we the minorities, we the disabled, we the queer and the ostracised, we the other, are not able to stand in solidarity with each other the way we should because we are strangers to joy, and to ease. We are strangers to rest and to space. We are burnt, and with burnt edges we find it hard to extend to mend and to hold the edge of anyone else. That is why it is so important that we fight the urge to harden and learn what it means to be soft.

Being soft in the face of hardship—dancing on burning stone—is the most metal, revolutionary act you can produce. It is divine defiance: resistance, boundary, anger, ‘NO’ with love is at its centre.

Feeling aligned with my messaging? Learn how you can work with me further on my website.

Clips

Notes on welcoming ease and pleasure.

For oppressed people to intentionally cultivate pleasure is an act of resistance.

—Ingrid LaFleur

A coach recently told me, “What is easy is sustainable.” I have been thinking, what feels good is sustainable. When my body feels good, my life feels good, and I want to keep going, and fight for my right to exist and love and grow and evolve. This is true whether it is in the context of a meeting, or a relationship, or a night of lovemaking. That doesn’t mean the absence of discomfort or awkwardness or hard conversations or learning. But the majority experience should be presence—being fully alive. And I think that comes from experiencing ease, pleasure, connection.

— Adrienne Maree Brown, Pleasure Politics

June is Black Music Month, and it’s worth noting that Blackness is expansive. Even while police and state governments threaten us at every turn, our joy remains and continues to take on new shapes and forms. We carve our own lanes; we make our own homes. — Alex Lewis in Feels Like Home

One more thing: where’s pain in all this? Pleasure, for me, doesn’t exclude or deny pain. The same self, the same inclusive awareness that allows me to experience pleasure, may retreat or cramp up in the face of pain (physical or emotional) but returns, and so far, is always bigger and able to absorb or metabolize it.

— Adrienne Maree Brown, Pleasure Activism

—Jan Ellis Menafee in Big J's Kitchen

“If we truly are to maintain our new society after we have won the battle and claimed the victory, we must instill into the hearts and minds of our children, our people, ourselves this ability to struggle on all fronts, internally and externally, laying a foundation built upon a love for ourselves and a knowledge of the sacrifices that went before and all we have endured.”

—Safiya Bukhari

“a measure between the beginnings of our sense of self and the chaos of our strongest feelings. It [The erotic & the pleasurable] is an internal sense of satisfaction to which, once we have experienced it, we know we can aspire. For having experienced the fullness of this depth of feeling and recognizing its power, in honor and self-respect we can require no less of ourselves.”

— Audre Lorde

— Nadia Meli in Life Letters

As always, it is a blessing to have you here. Substack has given me the strength to move forward in love more times than you can imagine.

If you want to support a chronically ill person and their art considering subscribing or buying me a coffee (that is, if you enjoy what I do here.)

with much love,

Rae

In this episode, Rae reads aloud a heartfelt article originally published to their Substack publication discussing the devastating effects of Hurricane Beryl on Jamaica and the broader Caribbean region. Rae reflects on themes of community resilience versus modern individualism, global inequalities accentuated by climate change, and the unifying power of local support networks. With insights from news articles and personal anecdotes, the episode emphasises the importance of real human connections in overcoming crises. Rae also highlights the actions of the True Self community in providing relief and the broader impact on regions like St. Elizabeth.

Listeners are encouraged to support and engage with these efforts through Substack.

In this debut podcast episode, Rae explores the importance of balancing masculine and feminine energies and critiques the societal preference for logic and intellect over intuition and emotion. Emphasising love as the ultimate tool for growth and transformation, the discussion includes insights from the book 'The Road Less Traveled' by Scott Peck. Through personal anecdotes and philosophical reflections, Rae encourages self-empowerment, practical self-help, and embracing one's human capacity to love as pathways to a fulfilling life. The episode also delves into the significance of self-love and discipline, presenting them as foundations for positive change and manifestation.

00:00 Preview

00:40 Greeting

01:55 Self-Empowerment and Practical Self-Help

02:23 The Power of Love and Intuition

04:44 Challenges of Masculine Dominance

05:59 Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energy

07:37 Understanding Love and Growth

17:24 Discipline as an Act of Love

19:05 Self-Love and Manifestation

21:07 Conclusion and Final Thoughts