Marci Speaks

In this deeply personal episode, I open up about a painful but necessary truth: how the choices I made in love and survival contributed to the trauma my children now carry as adults. As a Black mother, I sit in accountability—not shame—as I reflect on staying in an abusive relationship far too long with a man ten years my senior, who already had children, a known history of violence, and a family that protected him instead of his victims.

For over a decade, I endured physical, emotional, and verbal abuse at the hands of my ex-husband, while raising our three children in the chaos of a household marked by fear and dysfunction. His family—especially the women—chose denial and vengeance over empathy and truth, enabling his behavior and isolating me further. But I found the strength to leave, to start over, and to relocate to North Carolina with my children, determined to give them peace.

Yet, the trauma didn’t disappear—it followed us. I vowed my sons would never be like him, but the wounds of their childhood have shown up in ways I couldn’t predict: anger, violence, and pain turned inward and outward. In this conversation, I don’t point fingers. I take ownership. I talk about the complexity of being both a survivor and a mother, and how I’m committed to healing—not just for me, but for the generational cycles I’m working to break.

This episode is for anyone who’s lived through domestic violence, who’s raising children in the aftermath of trauma, or who’s ready to have the hard conversations we too often avoid in our communities. It’s about truth, healing, and the power of finally saying: it stops with me.

#BlackMothersSpeak #BreakingCycles #DomesticViolenceSurvivor #GenerationalHealing #AccountabilityAndHealing #MotherhoodUnfiltered #BlackFamilyHealingOriginally recorded September 11, 2022

In this intimate episode, I sit down with my mother to delve into her childhood abandonment and neglect experiences which stemmed from her mother. We have an in-depth conversation regarding the s*xual and physical abuses she and my uncle experienced while being held at the Forest Haven facility, which was officially known as the D.C. Children's Center, an asylum for children and adults with intellectual disabilities located in Laurel Maryland. The facility was closed in 1991. 

Through our candid conversation, we explore the lasting impact of these early challenges she endured raising us in poverty-stricken Southeast Washington, DC. Further, she reveals how uncovering many of the traumas shaped her married and parenting life. My mother openly discusses her journey towards masking the abuses, hurt and pain to keep going and striving to make it in life. Her story offers insight, resilience, and hope, shedding light on the complexities of over-coming past hardships, the keeping of secrets in Black families, and how the abuses of slavery, illiteracy, poverty, alcoholism, domestic abuse, drugs and s*xual abuse, impacted our ancestors and was passed down to us with generational childhood traumas.

To my loving mother~Dear Mommy,

I cannot begin to express how grateful I am for your honesty and openness in sharing our family’s history with me. Your truth has given me a deeper understanding of who I am and the roots from which I come. It is a gift that I will cherish always. Thank you for trusting me with this knowledge and for helping me connect more fully to our legacy. Without you I would not have made it through my own domestic violence marriage ordeal. When I moved you moved! We are and will forever be two peas in a pod. Thank you for supporting me with raising my hard-headed and disrespectful think they know it all GenZ children. I sincerely apologize for the pain and hurt they have caused you. Thank you for never leaving my side regardless of how difficult my journey of life became. Thank you for putting so much responsibility on me at my young age, because now I know how to survive in this world with my moral compass always intact. Thank you for showing me that every battle is not meant to be fought, and how to treat adversaries when they mistreated me by walking away and keeping my peace.

You are my warrior woman, and my inspiration to never, never ever give up in this life until my last breath. As you would tell me, "God has the final say!"

With all of my love and appreciation,

Your daughter,

Marci

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are living in uncharted territory as it pertains to addressing the issues of racism against Blacks in the United States of America.

Simone Phillips, MSW, LCSW, MCM, BA, RN joins Marci Speaks on their weekly segment discussing “How racism affects Black people with childhood traumas.

Simone Phillips, MSW, LCSW, RN,  "Dr. Simone" and Ronald "Truth" Hunt joins Marci Speaks Podcast to discuss their personal and professional analysis of sexually abused boys & the men they become. 

If you are a man or a woman dealing with a man who is experiencing any of the following, please tune into part 1 and part 2 of this podcast.