Few things can put a strain on marriage more than when one person is struggling with alcoholism. It can shake the foundation of trust and put the entire family in jeopardy. In marriages where one partner struggles with alcoholism, the non-addicted spouse carries the responsibility for two people, including care of the children both emotionally and physically. The need to support and find appropriate treatment for the addicted loved one becomes overwhelming, frustrating, and terrifying.

The quality of a marriage depends greatly upon the way we communicate with each other. It depends not only on what we say but how we say it; not only on what we do but our motives for doing it. When partners in a marriage are held together by a bond of love, mutual respect, and a desire to please and comfort, communication naturally falls into patterns that express these feelings and give both husband and wife confidence in each other and a sense of security and mutual dependence.

When a relationship is distorted by an unbalanced dependence, or by suspicion, hostility, excessive demands, and expectations, these flaws are exacerbated by alcohol and can make marriage impossible to sustain

In this episode, Vanessa and I talk very candidly about the role alcohol played in our marriage, dating, and sex life and how our spouses ultimately became the victims of our disease.