Marriage Ignited brings practical & spiritual tools to ignite your marriage in our weekly podcast & YouTube channel. 

Episode 15 Summary: Welcome to Episode 15 – this our Season 1 Finale! In today’s episode we’re going to talk about the importance of being each other’s #1 fan. How to be an encourager and speak life over your spouse. Our words matter and we hope this episode challenges you to become more of an encourager! But first….we have a HUGE announcement – check it out inside this week’s episode!!

Resources from today’s episode:

“With it (tongue) we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.” James 3:9-10

The Book of James Sermon Series: The Power in the Tongue linked here: https://www.shadyrestchurch.org/content.cfm?id=213&download_id=397

“Our words do not have the ability to create reality, but they have the ability to shape reality!” – Pastor Adrian Pina

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” Proverbs 18:21

Season 2 will begin on Tuesday, August 4th! We’re excited about the next season and are planning to bring you guys some amazing content that will bring a fire to your marriage.

Plus…We have some fun new things in store for you guys!
-Monthly interviews with Inspiring Married Couples
-We’re launching our website with regular blog posts & tons of resources
-We’re launching a weekly email to share encouragement & marriage tools

Prepare-Enrich is the #1 Premarital & Marriage Assessment in the world & we are certified facilitators. Check out more info at https://www.prepare-enrich.com/ and email us at [email protected] to setup your personalized assessment!

Episode 15 TOOL: Be intentional and look for ways to be verbally encourage to your spouse every single day. This is a great summer challenge! Speak life over your spouse daily for a week and watch to see what a difference it makes! Just imagine how your marriage will be impacted if you were intentional about being an encourager ALL SUMMER!! Y’all we’re here for it if you are, if you’re in – jump into the comments & say I’m in!!

Discussion and/or Journal Questions:

-How can you speak life over your spouse today? Be specific 
-What words of life do you need to hear today?
-How would your marriage thrive if you accepted the challenge & were intentional daily about speaking life over your spouse?  

Stay Connected!

Subscribe to Marriage Ignited on YouTube to watch in a video format https://www.youtube.com/c/MarriageIgnited

Follow Marriage Ignited on Facebook
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Marriage Ignited Website coming soon!! www.marriageignited.org

Please SHARE with friends who would be encouraged & strengthened in their marriage!!

Marriage Ignited brings practical & spiritual tools to ignite your marriage in our weekly podcast & YouTube channel. NEW episodes every Tuesday!

Episode 14 Summary: Today’s episode is going to be really fun! One of the most common issues that comes into our church office relates to what we like to call the “division of labor” aka. balancing roles & responsibilities within the home & marriage. We cannot wait to share some tips for how to navigate conversations & explore how to better divide the many tasks required to manage your family life together.

Resources from today’s episode:

Today we looked at: 
1. How family of origin contributes to our division of labor
2. The Shift of Roles in the Modern Era
3. Determining Roles & Responsibilities within Your Home

Prepare-Enrich is the #1 Premarital & Marriage Assessment in the world & we are certified facilitators. Check out more info at https://www.prepare-enrich.com/ and email us at [email protected] to setup your personalized assessment!

Episode 14 TOOL: Grab 2 blank pieces of paper and draw a line vertically down the middle. Independently list in one column all the roles & responsibilities you do to serve your family. Don’t skimp on this – do the work and think hard about every big & small way you serve. Next in the other column write every single thing your spouse does to serve your family – all their roles & responsibilities. The more thorough you can be, the better.

Next: Come back together to compare and discuss your lists. As you look at the paper here are some questions to consider:

-Did you both agree on the roles you wrote down for each other? 
-Did your spouse list each of your roles accurately?
Then affirm, apologize (as needed), and work together to create a complete list of responsibilities. 

Next: With the complete list, consider these questions: 

Do you notice a huge gap in responsibilities between the two of you? 
Is that gap causing undue stress on one spouse? 
Do you notice immediate adjustments that can be made?
This is a perfect opportunity to use your assertiveness & active listening skills.

After doing this IF you determine a few changes need to be made OR if you are newly married or engaged and are just beginning to discuss roles consider the following discussion/journal questions to determine what division of labor best serves your family. 

Discussion and/or Journal Questions:

-What is driving your current roles/responsibilities (tradition, culture, habit)
-What do you each enjoy doing?
-Do one of you have a skill for a specific chore? 
-What is your availability to do certain chores in this season?

Stay Connected!

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Follow Marriage Ignited on Facebook
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https://www.instagram.com/marriageignited/

Marriage Ignited Website coming soon!! www.marriageignited.org

Please SHARE with friends who would be encouraged & strengthened in their marriage!! 

Marriage Ignited brings practical & spiritual tools to ignite your marriage in our weekly podcast & YouTube channel. NEW episodes every Tuesday!

Episode 13 Summary: In today’s episode we’re going to talk about overcoming disappointment as a couple. There is so much disappointment happening around us right now, many of us are facing stress & uncertainty because of this COVID pandemic, many of you have serious struggles you’re going through in your marriage, and so much more. As we share these thoughts and a little bit about how we’ve overcome disappointment in our marriage we pray you are encouraged and ignited in your marriage.

Resources from today’s episode:

What are some common sources for the disappointments? 

1. Unmet expectations (of God, of ourselves, of our spouse)
2. Shattered dreams (children, house, career, etc.)
3. Circumstances out of your control

Here are the 5 steps to Overcoming Disappointment we mentioned in today’s episode. 

1. Lament
2. Talk to Jesus 
3. Reevaluate  
4. Do what you can do 
5. Release it to God

Ecc 3:1,4 - For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: (v.4) - a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

Prepare-Enrich is the #1 Premarital & Marriage Assessment in the world & we are certified facilitators. Check out more info at https://www.prepare-enrich.com/ and email us at [email protected] to setup your personalized assessment!

Episode 13 TOOL: Listen to this episode with your spouse and pray together about these 5 steps in overcoming disappointment. Take inventory: where are you each at in the process? What is your greatest pain, challenge, and fear? How can you both take steps toward trusting God through this disappointment?

Discussion and/or Journal Questions:

-What is the biggest disappointment you are facing today?

-Take inventory of where you are in the process of overcoming the disappoint and journal a prayer to God. What would you like to say to God about this disappointment?

-How can you & your spouse both take steps toward trusting God through this disappointment?

Stay Connected!

Subscribe to Marriage Ignited on YouTube to watch in a video format https://www.youtube.com/c/MarriageIgnited

Follow Marriage Ignited on Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/marriageignited/

Follow Marriage Ignited on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/marriageignited/

Marriage Ignited Website coming soon!!  www.marriageignited.org

Please SHARE with friends who would be encouraged & strengthened in their marriage!!

Marriage Ignited brings practical & spiritual tools to ignite your marriage in our weekly podcast & YouTube channel. NEW episodes every Tuesday!

Episode 12 Summary: As we conclude this series on communication, today we are going to talk about taking responsibility for your contribution to conflict in your marriage and how to walk out Biblical forgiveness.

In our series on communication we covered:
•The Basics of Communication
•Tools for Healthy Communication
•Fighting Fair
•The Heart of Conflict
•Conflict Resolution 101
In these amazing episodes, we build a foundation for healthy communication and provide many awesome resources, so be sure to check those out!

Resources from today’s episode:

Forgiveness Exercise
Step 1: Acknowledge your own attitudes or actions that contributed to the conflict.

Step 2: Humbly say to your spouse “Will you please forgive me for {then detail the attitudes and actions from step 1}?” 

Step 3: When your spouse is ready they will respond, “Yes I forgive you”, extending you forgiveness and releasing the power of debt, you will receive your spouses forgiveness.

Step 4: Your spouse reciprocates the steps above, acknowledging their attitudes and actions and requesting forgiveness from you.

Here’s a great list of feelings words to practice your “I” Messages:
https://www.hoffmaninstitute.org/wp-content/uploads/Practices-FeelingsSensations.pdf

“I” Messages Formula
I feel…(state the feeling)
When you…(state the behavior)
Because…(state the consequences)

Prepare-Enrich is the #1 Premarital & Marriage Assessment in the world & we are certified facilitators. Check out more info at https://www.prepare-enrich.com/ and email us at [email protected] to setup your personalized assessment!

Episode 12 TOOL: Practice walking out the steps of forgiveness that we outlined in today’s podcast. Saying I’m sorry is not enough, be careful to use the phrases in this method as you walk out true Biblical forgiveness.

Discussion and/or Journal Questions:
-Do you have a difficult time acknowledging and taking responsibility for your attitudes and actions?
-How does the forgiveness you have received from God affect how you extend forgiveness to your spouse?
-How does this method differ from how you & your spouse usually walk out forgiveness.

Stay Connected!

Subscribe to Marriage Ignited on YouTube to watch in a video format https://www.youtube.com/c/MarriageIgnited

Follow Marriage Ignited on Facebook 
https://www.facebook.com/marriageignited/

Follow Marriage Ignited on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/marriageignited/

Marriage Ignited Website coming soon!! www.marriageignited.org

Please SHARE with friends who would be encouraged & strengthened in their marriage!!

Marriage Ignited brings practical & spiritual tools to ignite your marriage in our weekly podcast & YouTube channel. NEW episodes every Tuesday!

Episode 11 Summary: As we continue our series on communication, today we’re going to continue to talk about one of the hardest areas we face in marriage – conflict! Did you know that our personalities can often play a huge role in how we navigate conflict? In today’s episode we’re going to talk about personality styles in conflict. Plus we’re going to teach you a technique for resolving conflict that has helped us tremendously over the years.  

Resources from today’s episode: 

10 Great Dates to Energize Your Marriage: Updated and Expanded Edition by David and Claudia Arp https://amzn.to/2KWEPNk

6 Conflict Styles 
The Turtle – “I Withdraw”
The Skunk – “I Attack” 
The Beaver – “I Avoid”
The Chameleon – “I Yield”
The Owl – “I Intellectualize”
The Gorilla – “I Intimidate”

Fighting for Your Marriage: A Deluxe Revised Edition of the Classic Best-seller for Enhancing Marriage and Preventing Divorce by Howard J. Markman, Scott M. Stanley, Susan L. Blumberg  https://amzn.to/3c7gJeD

The Speaker-Listener Technique 

Rules for Speaker
-Speak for yourself, don’t mind read!
-Keep statements brief, don’t go on and on.
-Stop to let the listener paraphrase.

Rules for the Listener
-Focus on the speaker’s message. Don’t rebut!
-Remember the GOAL is UNDERSTANDING
-Gain permission to advise, comment, or question. 

Rules for Both
-The speaker has the floor.
-The speaker keeps the floor while the listener paraphrases.
-Share the floor. *Problem solving comes after understanding*

“When each person knows what the other person feels and wants (assertiveness) and when each knows they have been heard and understood (active listening), intimacy is increased.” -Prepare Enrich

Prepare-Enrich is the #1 Premarital & Marriage Assessment in the world & we are certified facilitators. Check out more info at https://www.prepare-enrich.com/ and email us at [email protected] to setup your personalized assessment!

Episode 11 TOOL: This week we’d love for you to put The Speaker-Listener Technique into practice. Using “I Messages” and the Speaker-Listener rules listed in the description, sit down with your spouse and walk through this technique with both positive and negative feelings words. Keep is simple and give each other grace as you learn this technique.

Discussion and/or Journal Questions:

-Which animal do you identify with in handling conflict?

-Which animal do you believe your spouse closely resembles in conflict?

-How does understanding your differing or similar conflict styles impact your approach to conflict?

Stay Connected!

Subscribe to Marriage Ignited on YouTube to watch in a video format https://www.youtube.com/c/MarriageIgnited

Follow Marriage Ignited on Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/marriageignited/

Follow Marriage Ignited on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/marriageignited/

Marriage Ignited Website coming soon!! www.marriageignited.org

Please SHARE with friends who would be encouraged & strengthened in their marriage!!

Marriage Ignited brings practical & spiritual tools to ignite your marriage in our weekly podcast & YouTube channel. NEW episodes every Tuesday!

Episode 10 Summary: As we continue our series on communication, today we are going to talk about one of the hardest areas we face in marriage – conflict! Specifically, we are going to look at the heart of conflict, what God’s word has to say about our hearts, and the many layers that are involved in conflict.

Resources from today’s episode:

“Jesus said it simply: If we remain in him, allowing ourselves to be held in his embrace, his life will flow out of us to others. If we choose not to remain in him, we will have little if anything, to offer others.” [Emotionally Healthy Relationships Day by Day, Peter Scazzero, Zondervan, 2017, p. 26]

Emotionally Healthy Relationships Day by Day: A 40-Day Journey to Deeply Change Your Relationships by Peter Scazzero https://amzn.to/2VSRF4b

3 layers to Conflict

1. Presenting Issue: top layer of what is going on

2. Real Life Factors: just beneath the surface

3. Heart Issues: deep beneath the surface

Prepare-Enrich is the #1 Premarital & Marriage Assessment in the world & we are certified facilitators. Check out more info at https://www.prepare-enrich.com/ and email us at [email protected] to setup your personalized assessment!

Check Your Heart

1. Step away from the conflict & take a few slow deep breathes. Ask for a time out if needed.
2. Consider what Real Life Factors are contributing to this conflict (example: ask yourself am I tired, hormonal, or reacting to stress, etc.)
3. Consider if you are causing any roadblocks in your communication?
4. Pray and ask the Lord to reveal what is happening in your heart and the heart of your spouse.

Episode 10 TOOL: Now it’s your turn! Think about a recent conflict that you had with your spouse, work together to identify the 3 layers in your recent conflict. The goal of this exercise is identification – we will work through the conflict to forgiveness in our next session. 

What were your 3 layers to conflict?
1. Presenting Issue 
2. Real Life Factors 
3. Heart Issues

Discussion and/or Journal Questions:
- Where is your heart? Are you disconnected from the vine?
-What fruit is your heart producing? How is that fruit contributing to the conflict in your marriage?
- What is the most challenging part of not sinning when you’re in conflict?

Stay Connected!

Subscribe to Marriage Ignited on YouTube to watch in a video format https://www.youtube.com/c/MarriageIgnited

Follow Marriage Ignited on Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/marriageignited/

Follow Marriage Ignited on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/marriageignited/

Marriage Ignited Website coming soon!! www.marriageignited.org

Please SHARE with friends who would be encouraged & strengthened in their marriage!!

Marriage Ignited brings practical & spiritual tools to ignite your marriage in our weekly podcast & YouTube channel. NEW episodes every Tuesday!

Episode 9 Summary: As we continue our series on communication, in this episode we’ll look at are some roadblocks that cause trouble in many of our marriages communication, we’re also going to discuss ways to set a time out when things get heated up and how to set some rules for fighting fair.

Resources from today’s episode:

Gordon Training International has great tools & workshops for communication. Check them out here: https://www.gordontraining.com/

The 12 Roadblocks to Communication

Ordering
Warning
Moralizing
Advising
Teaching
Judging
Praising
Labeling
Analyzing
Reassuring
Probing
Sarcasm

Here is an in-depth description for each roadblock: https://www.gordonmodel.com/work-roadblocks.php

Here is an in-depth explanation for each roadblock within a family: https://www.gordonmodel.com/home-roadblocks.php

Prepare-Enrich is the #1 Premarital & Marriage Assessment in the world & we are certified facilitators. Check out more info at https://www.prepare-enrich.com/ and email us at [email protected] to setup your personalized assessment!

Steps for Taking a Time Out

1. Recognize your need for a time-out.

2. Request the time-out.

3. Relax and calm down.

4. Remember what’s important.

5. Resume the conversation.

Creating rules for fighting fair is a great exercise in intimacy with your spouse. Conflict is certain but investing the time & effort into creating these ground rules together communicates value in your relationship and the desire to work toward resolution.

Episode 9 TOOL: Sit down with your spouse and create rules for fighting fair that would best serve your relationship. We want to challenge you to come up with at least 3 but as many as you both agree upon. Then both of you commit to honoring the rules you created together.  

Discussion and/or Journal Questions:

-What are the top 3 roadblocks that you need to work on?

-What physical and emotional reactions indicate you need a time-out?

-What are the best ways that help you calm down?

Stay Connected!

Subscribe to Marriage Ignited on YouTube to watch in a video format https://www.youtube.com/c/MarriageIgnited

Follow Marriage Ignited on Facebook
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https://www.instagram.com/marriageignited/

Marriage Ignited Website coming soon!! www.marriageignited.org

Please SHARE with friends who would be encouraged & strengthened in their marriage!! 

Show Notes // Video Description

Marriage Ignited brings practical & spiritual tools to ignite your marriage in our weekly podcast & YouTube channel. NEW episodes every Tuesday!

Episode 8 Summary: As we continue our series on communication, in this episode we are sharing some of our favorite tools for healthy communication. Communication is by far the most requested topic when we counsel, speak, and teach – because let’s be honest, EVERY marriage can use some help with communication!

Resources from today’s episode:

Here’s a great list of feelings words to practice your “I” Messages:
https://www.hoffmaninstitute.org/wp-content/uploads/Practices-FeelingsSensations.pdf

“I” Messages Formula
I feel…(state the feeling)
When you…(state the behavior)
Because…(state the consequences)

Prepare-Enrich is the #1 Premarital & Marriage Assessment in the world & we are certified facilitators. Check out more info at https://www.prepare-enrich.com/ and email us at [email protected] to setup your personalized assessment!

The 4 square matrix we describe was created by Levi Lusko in his book “I Declare War: Four Keys to Winning the Battle with Yourself” in chapter 7. Here’s a link to buy this amazing book: https://amzn.to/2wCoABy

Episode 8 TOOL: This episode if packed with tools! We’d love for you to put each of these into practice – especially the ones that spoke to your heart throughout this episode. Practice being fully engaged and giving your spouse your full attention. Practice being an encourager. Use “I” messages, actively listen, and sit down to write out the 4 square matrix by Levi Lusko. Pick one or try them all!

Discussion and/or Journal Questions:

-Do you struggle to give your spouse your full attention when they’re talking? If so, what is causing you the most distraction?

-How can you work towards being more of an encourager to your spouse?

-Is there an unhealthy pattern that is evident in your communication? How can you work to overcome it?

Stay Connected!

Subscribe to Marriage Ignited on YouTube to watch in a video format https://www.youtube.com/c/MarriageIgnited

Follow Marriage Ignited on Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/marriageignited/

Follow Marriage Ignited on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/marriageignited/

Marriage Ignited Website coming soon!!  www.marriageignited.org

Please SHARE with friends who would be encouraged & strengthened in their marriage!!

Marriage Ignited brings practical & spiritual tools to ignite your marriage in our weekly podcast & YouTube channel. NEW episodes every Tuesday!

Episode 7 Summary: Good communication is one of the greatest skills you can ever learn to strengthen your marriage. Today we’re beginning a series on communication and over the next few episodes we are going to learn how to effectively communicate with your spouse, healthy conflict resolution, personality styles in conflict, how to set a time out, and steps for walking through Biblical forgiveness with your spouse.  In today’s episode we’re going to begin by building a strong foundation with the Basics of Communication.

Resources from today’s episode:
Prepare-Enrich is the #1 Premarital & Marriage Assessment in the world & we are certified facilitators. Check out more info at https://www.prepare-enrich.com/ and email us at [email protected] to setup your personalized assessment!

The goal of communication = understanding

Communication has two parts: Sending a Message & Receiving a Message

Sending a message is words 7%, tone 38%, body language 55%

Assertiveness – Assertiveness is the ability to express your feelings and ask for what you want in the relationship

Active Listening – the ability to let your partner know you understand them by restating their message

“When each person knows what the other person feels and wants (assertiveness) and when each knows they have been heard and understood (active listening), intimacy is increased. These two communication skills can help you grow closer as a couple.” -Prepare Enrich

Episode 7 TOOL: Practice assertiveness & active listening with your spouse this week. Start off simple with positive encouraging statements.

Discussion and/or Journal Questions:
-Take a deeper look: what have you been communicating to your spouse through your tone and body language this week?
-In what ways do you need to learn to be more assertive in your relationship?
-In what ways do you need to learn to listen more actively in your relationship?

Stay Connected!

Subscribe to Marriage Ignited on YouTube to watch in a video format https://www.youtube.com/c/MarriageIgnited

Follow Marriage Ignited on Facebook 
https://www.facebook.com/marriageignited/

Follow Marriage Ignited on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/marriageignited/

Marriage Ignited Website coming soon!!
www.marriageignited.org

Please SHARE with friends who would be encouraged & strengthened in their marriage!!

Marriage Ignited brings practical & spiritual tools to ignite your marriage in our weekly podcast & YouTube channel. NEW episodes every Tuesday!

Episode 6 Summary: In this episode we hope to inspire you to keep connecting with your spouse with 10 Quarantine Date ideas. Let’s make this time count, get creative, have some fun, and keep investing in your marriage!

Resources from today’s episode

Here’s how we define a date:
1. Two hours of face to face time with your spouse.
2. No other humans should be present 
3. No screens allowed 

Here are our 10 Quarantine Dates:
Date 1: Do a Puzzle Together
Date 2: Cooking Together
Date 3: Take a Walk Down Memory Lane
Date 4: Enjoy Board Games
Date 5: At Home Workouts
Date 6: Read a Book Together
Date 7: At Home Picnic 
Date 8: Walk Outside together 
Date 9: Devotional & Bible Study
Date 10: Charades App 
BONUS DATE: 20 Minutes of Skin on Skin

GAMES:
Sequence - https://amzn.to/2ye49eq

Phase 10 - https://amzn.to/3bE6sGk

The Discovery Game: Board Game for a Married Couple - https://amzn.to/2UML7Uj


BOOKS:
Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs by Emerson Eggerichs - https://amzn.to/2wFNGj3


Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: It's Impossible to Be Spiritually Mature, While Remaining Emotionally Immature by Peter Scazzero - https://amzn.to/3dIte1m


Detours: The Unpredictable Path to Your Destiny by Dr. Tony Evans - https://amzn.to/2Uuq2in


Quiet Times for Couples by H. Norman Wright https://amzn.to/2T1Op6p


APP
Download the FREE Charades! app in your app or play store.

Episode 6 TOOL: Go on an at home date with your spouse this week. Enjoy two hours, face to face, with no other humans and no screens. Try a date from our list or create your own! 

Discussion and/or Journal Questions:
-What’s the biggest hurdle in having regular date nights with your spouse?
-As a couple, what’s the best date you have ever had?
-How can you connect with your spouse this week?

Stay Connected!

Subscribe to Marriage Ignited on YouTube to watch in a video format https://www.youtube.com/c/MarriageIgn...

Follow Marriage Ignited on Facebook 
https://www.facebook.com/marriageigni...


Follow Marriage Ignited on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/marriageign...


Marriage Ignited Website coming soon!!
www.marriageignited.org

Please SHARE with friends who would be encouraged & strengthened in their marriage!!