Anger in Marriage might be the emotion you’ve been taught to avoid—but what if it’s actually a powerful tool for deeper connection?

In this episode of Marriage IQ, Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings sit down with anger expert Davina Hehn to explore the surprising benefits of anger in marriage and how to harness anger without aggression.

You’ll learn why anger can act as a compass pointing to unmet needs, how couples get trapped in reactive conflict cycles, and the simple skills that transform anger into clarity, boundaries, and healthier communication.

If anger has ever scared you, confused you, or damaged connection in your relationship, this conversation may completely change how you see it.

👉 Mentioned in this episode: Episode 12 :https://open.spotify.com/episode/0X4XnfkUQkwpRZ4u79Sr9d?si=jaP_O_woR4W90r5FaLx_Kw

SOCIAL MEDIA

📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠⁠

Grief Almost Broke Us - and we didn’t see it coming. After the deaths of Heidi’s parents just weeks apart, we found ourselves navigating overwhelming grief, secondary losses, emotional reactivity, reduced intimacy, and serious miscommunication in our marriage.

In this episode, we unpack the stages of grief, the emotional and physical symptoms of loss, how partners grieve differently, and what research says about healing, prolonged grief, and recovery timelines.

If you’re coping with loss, supporting a grieving spouse, or wondering why your marriage feels distant after a death in the family, this conversation offers practical tools, hope, and validation. Grief is natural - but without awareness and support, it can quietly strain even strong relationships.

👉 Mentioned in this episode: I Can Do This With Her: Jim and Cheryl Hastings' Story of Transcending Stress and Grief

🧠 Deep Dive Resources: 📖Conscious Grieving: https://a.co/d/07z3WLJm📖On Grief and Grieving: https://a.co/d/0iizC7vk📖On Death and Dying: https://a.co/d/0hwAqp4J

SOCIAL MEDIA

📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠

Proposal Pro Secrets for Spicing Up Your Marriage aren’t just about popping the question—they’re about learning how to romance your spouse again and reignite passion long after the wedding day.

In this episode, proposal planner Ash Fox (3,000+ proposals and host of The Proposal Podcast) reveals how polarity, vulnerability, and intentional pursuit can transform an ordinary marriage into something electric.

You’ll hear how “re-proposals” after decades together bring back spark, why being chosen still feels powerful, and how leading with courage makes romance sexy again.

We break down practical marriage tips you can use this week—create surprise, plan meaningful moments, communicate expectations, and craft experiences your spouse will never forget.

If your relationship feels predictable, these proposal pro secrets will help you spice up your marriage and fall in love all over again.

Connect with Ash Fox :

🔗 Website: ⁠⁠⁠ashfoxphotography.com

🔗Here’s the book our guest highly recommended : "Your Blueprint for Pleasure"

SOCIAL MEDIA

📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠

Emotional Hypocrisy is Fueling Marital Inequality—and you might be contributing to it without realizing it. If you’ve ever thought, “Why am I the only one trying?” this episode may gently (or not so gently) challenge that assumption.

In many marriages, double standards quietly shape emotional labor, communication patterns, and resentment. We want closeness, attention, and intentional love—but excuse our own defensiveness, contempt, or silent scorekeeping. In this episode of Marriage IQ, Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings unpack how emotional hypocrisy distorts perception, how bias and mind-reading fuel inequality, and how to stop keeping score before resentment hardens into distance. (And to be clear: abuse is never condoned and requires a different response.)

If this hits a nerve, don’t shut it down—lean in. Share this with your spouse, schedule a 20-minute check-in, and choose one behavior you will change this week. That’s how healthy marriages shift. That’s how intelligent spouses lead.

SOCIAL MEDIA

📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

What if happiness in marriage—and in your family—isn’t about trying harder… but talking smarter?

In this episode of Marriage IQ, Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings sit down with Anil Gupta, aka The Love Doctor, to unpack his viral Happiness Formula and why most people think they’re doing it—while quietly missing the point.

We dive into why loving families still struggle with hard conversations, how avoidance sneaks into marriages and parenting, and what actually makes crucial conversations work with your spouse, kids, and family.

This isn’t therapy-speak. It’s practical, honest, and occasionally uncomfortable—in the best way.

If you’ve ever thought, “Why does talking to the people I love most feel so complicated?”—this episode is for you.

🎧 Listen now and raise your Marriage IQ (and maybe your family’s too).

Connect with Anil Gupta :

🔗 Website: ⁠⁠meetanil.com

📘 Get Anil's book : " Immediate Happiness"

SOCIAL MEDIA

📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Download Anil Gupta’s FREE Perfect Dinner Conversations Guide (PDF) here: https://www.marriageiq.com/s/Anil-Gupta-PDF.pdf

FREE PDF DOWNLOADS : ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.marriageiq.com/freebies⁠

If you are feeling overwhelmed by uncertainty, discover how the simple word "maybe" can reduce your anxiety and open the door to new possibilities.

In a world filled with unpredictability, it is easy to get stuck in rigid thinking that fuels stress. In this episode of Marriage iQ, Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings are joined by attorney and author Allison Carmen to discuss the surprising power of uncertainty.

Allison shares how embracing ambiguity - rather than fearing it - can offer the flexibility needed to navigate life’s complexities. We delve into practical strategies for coping with the unknown and explore how maintaining an open mindset can be a catalyst for personal growth.

Connect with Allison Carmen :

🎙️ Podcast : ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/10-minutes-to-less-suffering/id1295280626⁠

🔗 Website: ⁠allisoncarmen.com⁠⁠

SOCIAL MEDIA

📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

FREE PDF DOWNLOADS : ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.marriageiq.com/freebies⁠

You might think hiding small things protects your spouse to "keep the peace," but science shows those unshared truths are actually corroding your relationship's foundation like a hidden leak.

In this episode of Marriage IQ, Dr. Scott and Dr. Heidi Hastings utilize relationship research to uncover why quiet emotional distance is often fatal to a marriage, even more so than explosive fights. They dive into the psychology of cognitive dissonance, reveal the top three secrets married couples hide from each other, and explore the devastating impact of unintentional gaslighting on a partner's mental health. If your marriage feels distant, flat, or unsafe due to a lack of transparency, join us to learn the courageous, practical steps needed to move from defensiveness to ownership, repair broken trust, and rebuild true intimacy.

RESEARCH:
Slepian, M. L., & Moulton-Tetlock, E. (2018). Confiding Secrets and Well-Being. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 10(4), 472-484.

National Marriage Project (multiple large-scale marital satisfaction studies)

SOCIAL MEDIA

📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

FREE PDF DOWNLOADS : ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.marriageiq.com/freebies

Most couples never learn how to talk about sex—and it quietly sabotages intimacy, desire, and connection in marriage. In this powerful Marriage IQ episode, Dr. Heidi Hastings and Dr. Scott Hastings sit down with OB/GYN nurse, educator, author, and podcast host Cindy Scharkey (Permission for Pleasure) to talk about female pleasure, sexual communication, desire discrepancy, anatomy education, painful sex, and how couples can cultivate a thriving “sexual garden” over time.

If you’ve ever wondered:
✔️ “Is something wrong with me?”
✔️ “Why don’t I want sex like I used to?”
✔️ “How do we talk about intimacy without shame?”
✔️ “Can I explore pleasure without abandoning my faith?”
…this episode is for you.

 What you’ll learn in this conversation:
• Why a woman’s first sexual relationship is with herself
• The #1 reason so many women struggle to orgasm (and it’s NOT “brokenness”)
• How religion + purity culture can shape desire, shame, and arousal
• Why “low desire” is often a pleasure issue, not a libido issue
• Simple tools couples can use to improve intimacy—starting this week

🎧 Watch until the end for Cindy’s closing message on presence + mindfulness, and why being “checked out” mentally makes pleasure almost impossible.

Cindy’s Resources

📘 Get Cindy Scharkey’s book Permission for Pleasure

🌿 Blog Post :  4 Techniques Women Use To Increase Pleasure With Penetration
🎙️ Podcast Episode : Pleasure Techniques
🔗 Website: https://www.cindyscharkey.com/

SOCIAL MEDIA

📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

FREE PDF DOWNLOADS : ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.marriageiq.com/freebies⁠⁠

Looking for the best marriage advice to take your relationship from "fine" to high-performing? In this episode of Marriage IQ, we sit down with Dr. Robin Buckley to discuss transformative relationship strategies that bring the best of the boardroom into your home.

Do you run your business like a pro but your marriage like a Hallmark movie that’s running out of script? You aren’t alone. Many high-performers have incredible systems for work—KPIs, mission statements, and conflict management—but leave their most important relationship to "faith and trust."

Today, Dr. Robin Buckley, a PhD in clinical psychology and executive coach, explains why reframing love as a partnership worth managing is the smartest move you can make.

✨In this episode, we dive into:

~The Boardroom Blueprint: Why treating your marriage like a business is the smartest move you can make.

~The "No Other Zone": A 5-minute daily ritual that saves marriages.

~Automating Peace: How assigning chores (yes, like a business ops plan) eliminates resentment and builds trust.

~The SWOT Analysis for Couples: Navigating "threats" like the holidays and family stress before they happen.

~KPIs for Love: How to actually measure if your relationship is growing or just "existing."

#Stop settling for a "fine" marriage. It’s time to build a sustainable, high-performance partnership.

SOCIAL MEDIA

📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

FREE PDF DOWNLOADS : ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.marriageiq.com/freebies⁠⁠

Does your marriage feel hopeless right now? Before you make any permanent decisions, you need to know if you are fighting your spouse or if you are both fighting depression.

⚠️ This is Part 2 of our Deep Dive on Depression. In Part 1, Dr. Scott Hastings explained the medical side (brain chemistry, meds, and diagnosis).

Watch Part 1 Here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5PZyTeOqWd5E7YU1gTuQAh?si=ff2f5e06ec8342c5

In this episode of Marriage iQ, Dr. Heidi Hastings shifts the focus from the brain to the relationship. We break down the specific ways depression distorts your view of your partner, the "Three Lies" it tells you, and why your struggles feel permanent even when they aren't.

If you or your spouse are navigating this darkness, this video will give you the research-backed tools to separate the illness from the marriage and find a path back to connection.

Research & Links:
✨Seligman, M. E. P., & Garber, J. (1980). Human helplessness: Theory and applications.

✨Academic Press. Roepke, A.M. and Seligman, M.E., 2016.Depression and prospection.

✨British Journal of Clinical Psychology, 55(1), pp.23-48.

About Marriage IQ: We are Dr. Heidi Hastings (Marriage & Sex Researcher) and Dr. Scott Hastings (Medical Doctor). We combine medical expertise with relationship research to help you intelligently transform your marriage. Whether you need a tune-up or a total overhaul, we share the "secret sauce" of a scintillating relationship through real-life experience and science.

Link to the video Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman - Animation : https://youtu.be/2hHNq45rEnU

SOCIAL MEDIA

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

FREE PDF DOWNLOADS : ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.marriageiq.com/freebies⁠⁠