You can love your spouse, want a great sex life, and still carry shame into the bedroom.

Shame about your body. Shame about what you want-or don’t want. Shame about what you were taught was “good,” “bad,” or even okay to talk about. And sometimes those messages are so deeply ingrained that we don’t even realize they’re shaping our sexual choices.

This week, we’re joined by our friend Dan Purcell, host of Get Your Marriage On and creator of the Spark’d and Intimately Us apps, for an honest conversation about how sexual shame shows up in marriage-and how to begin loosening its grip.

We talk about body image, sexual confidence, religious and cultural messages, boundaries, fantasy, mindfulness, and what happens when you and your spouse want different things sexually. Most importantly, we explore how to recognize when shame-not your values or your authentic desires-is making decisions for you.

If you want to feel more comfortable in your own body, more confident in what you want, and more free and connected sexually with your spouse, this conversation is for you.

🎁 Dan has created free resources for Marriage iQ listeners : getyourmarriageon.com/marriageiq

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💕 Make Your Relationship More Fun! 💕

Download Spark’d, our fun couples app, and start connecting, laughing, and growing together! ❤️

👇 Download Spark’d here!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://dateyourspouse.com/sparkd-app/

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▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠

You can be incredibly capable, dependable, and attuned to everyone else’s needs-and still be disconnected from yourself.
In this episode of Marriage IQ, Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings talk with psychologist Dr. Brittany McGeehan about the Powerhouse Paradox: how the same traits that can help you succeed at work, parenting, leadership, and life can create problems at home when you can’t turn them off.
Brittany explains how hypervigilance, over-functioning, control, and the constant pressure to keep everything moving can affect your marriage, including intimacy and your ability to relax and connect with your spouse. She also introduces the idea of self-trust; learning to recognize and respond to the signals your body is giving you rather than automatically reacting to everything around you.
The conversation explores how childhood experiences can shape the way we show up in marriage, how to tell the difference between a current relationship problem and an old wound being triggered, and why sometimes the answer isn't getting your partner to do things your way-but understanding what is happening inside you first.

If you're the person everyone depends on, this conversation may help you consider a different question: What happens when you stop managing everyone else long enough to notice what is happening inside you?

#MarriageIQ#MarriageAdvice#SelfTrust#HealthyMarriage #EmotionalConnection

🔗Connect With Dr. Brittany McGeehan : linkedin.com/in/brittanymcgeehanphd

👉Podcast : ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Aligned Powerhouse podcast

👉Here are links to previous episodes that relate to today's topic :

Episode 48 — How Over-Functioning Hurts Your Marriage with Dr. Kathleen Smith

Episode 2 — Knowing Yourself: A Cornerstone of an Intelligent Marriage

Episode 15 — Striking the Perfect Balance: Mastering Individuality and Intimacy in Marriage

Episode 30 — How to Stop Self-Silencing and Start Authentically Connecting

💕 Make Your Relationship More Fun! 💕

Download Spark’d, our fun couples app, and start connecting, laughing, and growing together! ❤️

👇 Download Spark’d here!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://dateyourspouse.com/sparkd-app/

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🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠

Most marriages do not suddenly fall apart. They slowly weaken when couples stop addressing small problems, repairing after conflict, and intentionally investing in their relationship.
In this episode, Nicole Sodoma joins Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings to reveal why unresolved conflict often matters more than the issue couples are fighting about. They discuss contempt, empathy, financial awareness, losing yourself in marriage, and why both spouses must be willing to repair and reconnect.

You’ll also hear an honest conversation about how to know whether a struggling marriage may still be repaired, what divorce can actually cost emotionally and financially, and how small, intentional changes today may protect your relationship tomorrow.

🔗Connect With Nicole Sodoma : ⁠⁠⁠⁠nicolesodoma.com

📖 Grab your copy of Nicole Sodoma's book right here : Please Don't Say You're Sorry

📖 Grab your copy of Journal and Workbook : Please Don't Say You're Sorry

Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, Marriage IQ earns from qualifying purchases. We only recommend books and resources from guests and experts whose work aligns with our mission of helping couples build stronger marriages.

📖 Grab your copy of Viktor Frankl's book right here : ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Man's Search for Meaning

💕 Make Your Relationship More Fun! 💕

Download Spark’d, our fun couples app, and start connecting, laughing, and growing together! ❤️

👇 Download Spark’d here!

⁠⁠⁠https://dateyourspouse.com/sparkd-app/

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What happens when one spouse stops trying-not because they no longer care, but because they feel like they’ve tried everything? In this episode, Dr. Heidi Hastings and Dr. Scott Hastings take a closer look at “quiet quitting” in marriage: the emotional checkout that can happen after years of resentment, missed bids for connection, feeling unseen, or carrying too much of the relationship alone.

But is quiet quitting really the problem-or a symptom of deeper patterns?

Dr. Heidi and Dr. Scott explore why husbands and wives may experience emotional disconnection differently, how both spouses can become convinced they’re already doing their part, and why looking at your own contribution may be more powerful than pointing a finger at your spouse. They also discuss identity, agency, intentionality, and the possibility of finding yourself again without necessarily leaving your marriage.

If you or your spouse feels emotionally checked out, this conversation offers a different place to start: less blame, more insight-and a willingness to change what you can control.

👉 Related episodes:

Episode 31 — ⁠From Roommates to Soulmates: Reviving Connection Through Daily Rituals⁠

💕 Make Your Relationship More Fun! 💕

Download Spark’d, our fun couples app, and start connecting, laughing, and growing together! ❤️

👇 Download Spark’d here!

⁠⁠https://dateyourspouse.com/sparkd-app/⁠⁠

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▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠

You can love your spouse deeply and still find yourself wondering, “Why don’t I desire them anymore?”

Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings explore with Dr. Anna how everyday disconnection, the roommate dynamic, neglected couple identity, stress, and the expectation of spontaneous desire can quietly change intimacy over time—and she shares practical ways to rebuild attention, playfulness, emotional connection, and desire.

You’ll learn why desire in a long-term marriage may need to be cultivated rather than simply waited for, and how small, intentional changes can help couples reconnect.

🔗Connect With Dr. Anna Elton : ⁠theformulaofdesire.com

📖 Grab your copy of Dr. Anna Elton 's book right here : ⁠The Formula Of Desire

Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, Marriage IQ earns from qualifying purchases. We only recommend books and resources from guests and experts whose work aligns with our mission of helping couples build stronger marriages.

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▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠

You probably think you’re a pretty good listener.

But the moment your spouse says something you disagree with-or something that makes you uncomfortable-your brain may already be preparing a defense, an explanation, a solution, or your own point of view.

That doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means truly listening is harder than most of us realize.

In this episode of Marriage IQ, Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings explore what gets in the way of deep listening, including defensiveness, emotional flooding, distraction, and the urge to fix. They also unpack why feeling understood, validated, and cared for is such an important part of emotional intimacy.

You’ll learn how to notice what happens inside you during difficult conversations, quiet the reactions that pull you away from your spouse, and stay present long enough to really understand what they are trying to share.

Because becoming a better listener isn’t just about learning what to say. Sometimes it starts with learning how to manage yourself.

#MarriageIQ #MarriageTips #MarriageCommunication #HealthyMarriage #RelationshipAdvice #EmotionalIntimacy #BetterCommunication

👉 Related episodes:

Episode 39 — Taming Emotional Triggers: A Brain-Based Approach to Communication in Marriage

Episode 97 — The Spy Techniques That Improve Communication with Jeremy Hurewitz

Episode 98 — The Real Reason Couples Feel Misunderstood

Episode 65 — The 3 Best Communication Tools for a More Connected Marriage

💕 Make Your Relationship More Fun! 💕

Download Spark’d, our fun couples app, and start connecting, laughing, and growing together! ❤️

👇 Download Spark’d here!

https://dateyourspouse.com/sparkd-app/

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▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠

Your spouse may not need advice, solutions, or a better explanation. They may simply need you to recognize what they are feeling and respond to what they emotionally need.

In this episode, communication expert and bestselling author Sandy Gerber shares four practical tools to help couples stop missing each other emotionally.

You’ll learn how to identify your spouse’s emotional needs, calm yourself before reacting, express difficult feelings without creating defensiveness, and make small daily choices that strengthen connection.

Discover the Emotional Magnets, the Love Pact, the EQ Switch, and the Feel-Need-Forward method-and learn how to replace fixing, blaming, and misunderstanding with empathy, reassurance, and teamwork.

Because sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is not, “Here’s what you should do,” but, “I see you. I’ve got you. We’re going to get through this.”

🔗Connect With Sandy Gerber : www.sandygerber.com

⁠

👉Podcast : ⁠Magnetic Communication

📖 Pre -order your copy of Sandy Gerber's  forthcoming book : Connected Conversations (https://publishizer.com/connected-conversations/checkout/24539/)

📖 Grab your copy of Sandy Gerber's book right here : ⁠Emotional Magnetism

Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, Marriage IQ earns from qualifying purchases. We only recommend books and resources from guests and experts whose work aligns with our mission of helping couples build stronger marriages.

👉Here are links to previous episodes that relate to today's topic :

Episode 39 - ⁠ Taming Emotional Triggers: A Brain-based Approach to Communication in Marriage

Episode 65 - 3 Communication Tools That Fix Marriage Conflict

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▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠

What makes a man feel safe to love?

Many women want a husband who is confident and emotionally steady-but not controlling.

They want him to be vulnerable and emotionally available-but not dependent on them to constantly reassure him of his worth.

Relationship expert and professional matchmaker Paul Roseberry joins us to explore why healthy confidence begins with identity.

When a man recognizes what he brings to the relationship, he no longer has to shrink, perform, dominate, or depend on his wife to make him feel valuable.

We discuss the difference between confidence and control, why a spouse’s interests can sometimes feel threatening, and how emotional strength and vulnerability can work together rather than compete.

A strong man does not have to hide his emotions. An emotionally available man does not have to abandon his strength. When a husband knows who he is, he can become both a secure partner and a safe place for deeper connection.

🔗Connect With Paul Roseberry : ⁠⁠⁠www.paulroseberry.com / [email protected]

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▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠

Nobody hands you a blueprint for marriage.
You figure it out through misunderstandings, hurt feelings, unmet expectations, and a lot of trial and error.

On Marriage IQ, marriage and sex researcher Dr. Heidi Hastings and physician Dr. Scott Hastings share research-backed tools, expert interviews, and real-life insights to help you communicate more effectively, strengthen emotional and physical intimacy, navigate conflict, and build the marriage you actually want.

✨Become a more intelligent spouse.

✨New episodes every Tuesday.

Have you ever wondered, "What's wrong with me?"

Whether you've struggled with desire, carried shame into marriage, or felt like everyone else understands intimacy except you, you're not alone.

In this special replay from the Get Your Marriage On podcast, we join host Dan Purcell for an honest conversation about the beliefs many of us bring into marriage-and how those beliefs can leave us feeling broken, inadequate, or disconnected.

We discuss:

✨Why so many couples struggle to transition from "don't do it" to enjoying healthy intimacy.

✨The truth about sexual development and why growth is a lifelong process.

✨Common misconceptions about desire—especially for women.

✨How curiosity, communication, and emotional safety create deeper connection.

✨The moment we realized nothing was wrong with us after all.

If you've ever questioned yourself or your relationship, this conversation offers hope, practical insight, and a refreshing perspective on building intimacy that grows stronger over time.

This episode originally aired on the Get Your Marriage On podcast and is shared here with permission from Dan Purcell.

👉Here are links to previous episodes that relate to today's topic :

• Episode 115 - Mastering Pleasure: Experts' Guide to Female Anatomy with Cindy Scharkey
• Episode 41 - Secrets to Unlocking Female Sexual Capacity

SOCIAL MEDIA

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