Marriage Is Funny

This week, Jessie and Gerard are chatting with Sex & Relationships Expert, Kate McCombs. They excitedly pepper her with a handful of questions submitted by the Great Love Gang, but you'll also hear a tiny bit about their own intimacy adventures as well. (If you enjoy this conversation, be sure to subscribe to Marriage is Funny on your favorite podcast player, and listen in for Part II that will go live on Friday!) Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen! QUICK BITES: You guys blew us away with your 70+ responses to our sex survey! Missed the chance to weigh in? Feel free to share your thoughts right here and we’ll do it again if there’s enough interest. The Peppers are currently sleeping in separate beds, and Kate confirms that there’s nothing wrong with a good night’s rest. Q1: How can a couple make time for sex when they both want it, but one (or both) partners feel tired or blah? Kate (figuratively) drops the mic with a helpful tip about reframing the way you set up a sex date. Gerard blurts out his own secret idea for how he setting the scene in order to get busy. Q2: How can someone overcome the challenge of painful sex? The best lube is made from Good Clean Love. (And that's probably the only thing about us that you’ve never wanted to know.) Finding the right Dr. or physical therapist should be the first step towards treating painful sex… Check the National Vulvodynia Association to find a practitioner near you. Q3: I like making love, but can rarely get myself to make the first move. How am I supposed to initiate sex when I never feel horny? The book Come As You Are by Emily Nagaski is next up on The Peppers “to read” list. Q4: I’m anxious about having sex, and we hardly do it anymore. How can I get back to actually craving physical intimacy with my husband (as much as I used to)? Q5: How does hormonal birth control have an impact on a women’s libido? Q6: What are some ways to try and reverse a low libido? Q7: Is there any way to intensify a man’s orgasm? Q8: How can my partner and I climax at the same time? Kate confirms that eight out of every 10 women need clitoral stimulation in order to achieve an orgasm. Jessie and Gerard read YOUR sex-related wish-list in a rapid fire succession. In many cases, having a conversation about what you want out of sex can actually feel more intimate than actually having sex. Q9: What are some ways we bring up sex with our partner without making things awkward. Start small and share things that give you some context for your chats! Kate's website is a great resource and we love her rundown of how to add more empathy to your everyday. TRIGGER QUESTIONS: Name one thing that tends to "press down on the brakes" of your sexual desire. What is your favorite (most optimal) time of the day to have sex? Describe your experience of sex-education (either at home or school) from when you were young. We're celebrating the official start of summer AND the end of Season Two at our finale party on May 29th! Find out how to join us right here and we would LOVE to see you then.

Gerard divulges the back story behind his drinking habit, while the duo invites you to join them in making their signature drink, a Pepper Margarita. Jessie craves a certain kind of physical touch... as long as it means her fingers don't go numb. Hard to believe we're nearing the end of another season, but that means we're now accepting sponsors for our next round of the show! Contact us directly for more info, and be sure to save the date for our finale party on May 29th. QUICK BITES: We’re almost to 96 ratings on iTunes! Help us pass 100 this week? We'd love to have your support, and you can head over here for instructions on leaving a review. The recipe for a Pepper Margarita: Take 2 slices of jalapeno (seeds removed) and muddle in the bottom of a shaker. Add 1.5 oz of tequila, 1 oz of triple sec and 1 oz of lime juice (from a REAL LIME), shake and pour over ice in your favorite glass with a salted rim! Just in case you live nearby and want to try the pineapple-infused tequila that Jessie tried recently… Head to Agaves Kitchen in Long Beach! Jessie’s narcolepsy might have been contagiously caught from this character back in Season One. The Peppers may have met at a school with strict rules, but that hasn't stopped them from embracing the joy of a nice glass of tequila. Share a virtual drink with The Gang on Cinco de Mayo! Make yourself a Pepper Marg, snap a pic and share with us on social media using the hashtag #GreatLoveGang. Jessie admits that she loves holding hands, but Gerard hasn't always believed in the importance of using the right technique. TRIGGER QUESTIONS: Who are your top three favorite people to share a cocktail with? What version of physical touch makes you feel most connected to your partner? Do public displays of affection make you feel uncomfortable or incredibly loved?

Gerard is stressed about his always-crammed calendar, but still wants to find the time for sailing lessons this summer. Jessie learns that there are many effective systems for keeping a tight schedule, and decides to accept the reality of having an optimistic husband. Hard to believe we're nearing the end of another season, but that means we're now accepting sponsors for our next round of the show! Contact us directly for more info, and be sure to save the date for our finale party on May 29th. QUICK BITES: Follow along with our Las Vegas antics on snapchat by finding Jessie at the username styleandpepper. Submit your sex-questions now! Send them in through the contact form on our page, OR leave an anonymous comment on the show notes page for this episode at meetthepeppers.com. Gerard’s schedule is snowballing and he feels stressed by too much “stuff” on the agenda... The Peppers decide to create a system for staying on the same page with their calendars. Optimism vs. realism when it comes to time management -- Which one wins? The big reveal of Brea Olinda’s Mr. + Mrs. Most Optimistic! Jessie makes a case for building their schedules based on order of priority, while Gerard claims that the podcast feels a little like an albatross hanging around his neck. The Peppers play a game of roulette with obscure references. Jessie is skeptical about taking sailing lessons this summer… She doesn’t want to squelch a dream, but the cost, timing and lack of dock-space seem like pretty big challenges. Gerard wants to become Master Sailors together as their next shared project. Jessie is on-board as long as she gets to dress up like Gilligan's Mary Ann in order to play the part. TRIGGER QUESTIONS: Ask your partner what is currently stressing them out... When was the last time you got so nervous that it made your pits sweat? What are the big rocks, gravel, and grains of sand in your bucket? Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!

Jessie wants to experiment with sleeping in other beds, but Gerard cares more about earning reward points while doing it. The Peppers commit to filling their year with travel, and they both decide to be more intentional about tucking each other in at night. Hard to believe we're nearing the end of another season, but that means we're now accepting sponsors for Season Three of the show! Contact us directly for more info, and be sure to save the date for our finale party on May 29th. QUICK BITES: Sharing so many of our favorite things this week, but no money has exchanged hands in the making of this episode. Listen to Episodes 23 + 27 to catch up on Gerard’s crazy work schedule and frequent travel situation. Jessie admits that there are many benefits to having the whole house to herself. We’re still on a mission to get Lester Holt and his wife Carol on an episode of Marriage is Funny... Send him a tweet and let's swarm him with some social media love! Jessie’s mornings begin with her fancy french press and a simpler version of this Rocket Fuel Latte. Check out this blog post to find out how we earned our Southwest Companion Pass. No cross-county tour for us this summer, but we ARE excited to pop around to a few of our favorite US cities! We want to hang out with you, so let us know if you'd like to host a little shindig. Gerard packs his "whole shebang" in his killer travel set from Vessel. No one is surprised that Jessie’s meticulous systems apply to her travel snacks as much as her regular eating schedule. Tree-huggers will love the Make A Green Choice plan from all Starwood Hotels. The conversation about separate beds is sure to ruffle a lot of feathers, but one thing we know for sure is that flipping over in a squishy bed is very inefficient.

We're back and the Great Love Getaway was a huge success! Listen in for the highlights of our trip: Bear-hugging, fire-dancing, pants-splitting, guacamole-eating, tequila-drinking, pool-dipping... The list goes on and we're already getting excited for next time. In this week's discussion, The Peppers talk about why it's important to daydream together, and they come up with a list of the things that you shouldn't do when looking for another duo to be your marriage mentors. Hard to believe we're nearing the end of another season, but that means we're now accepting sponsors for Season Three of the show! Contact us directly for more info, and be sure to save the date for our finale party on May 29th. QUICK BITES: The GLG guests give a recap of the best moments in their own words. Watch the full video by Kelly Dlux to pretend like you were there, and start getting excited to join us for the next trip. Taking our guests along with us for a dreamlining exercise... Courtesy of Tim Ferris and his book, The 4-Hour Work Week. Gerard sets out to start working on his fitness, but Jessie thought he might have been polishing his comedy craft instead. Becoming conversational in Spanish is still on our minds from Episode 18. Jessie is dreaming about having a vegetable garden, becoming the author of a published book, and hosting another Great Love Getaway in the fall... Lofty goals, but it feels good to get them off her chest. Being a full-time podcaster might feel daunting, but Gerard encourages Jessie to go for it anyway. You can get a teeny-tiny sneak peek at her upcoming project right here. The Peppers are already excited to plan another GLG, and the only problem now will be reigning in the vision. “Marriage isn’t something that should be done in isolation. If having us share our stories can give other people comfort or encouragement or a jumping off point for their own relationships, then that’s wonderful -- and this getaway is the in-person version of that.” -G Marriage mentors can certainly be a blessing, but digging into life with a strong community of married couples can be just as life-giving. Jessie shares three things NOT to do when looking for marriage mentors. The differences in diverse relationships create so many wonderful opportunities for learning from each other. You may remember Tim + Mimi Keel from Episode 8... We're lucky enough to call them friends, and they've inspired and encouraged us ever since our years at Jacob’s Well. The Peppers feel so grateful for their community that has grown since they first got married, but being blessed means that they want to turn around and pour themselves out into other married couples. TRIGGER QUESTIONS: If it really came down to it, would you rather have a six-pack of abs or a six-pack of beer? What is one splurge-y thing that you could daydreaming about having in the next six months? Can you think of one couple you know that might be blessed by spending some quality time with you and your partner? Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, sign up for our mailing list and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!

An accidental-repeat topic that you won’t want to miss. Gerard claims he has an urgent issue with his in-laws, and Jessie is hoping to protect both Peppers from getting badly burned on the Great Love Getaway in Mexico this week. Catch snippets from our trip on social media: we're @styleandpepper on snapchat/insta and @meetthepeppers on twitter. Hard to believe we're nearing the end of another season, but that means we're now accepting sponsors for Season Three of the show! Contact us directly for more info, and be sure to save the date for our finale party on May 29th. QUICK BITES: Gerard compares Jessie’s proficiency for packing to the athleticism of an olympic athlete. Flattering, but highly inaccurate. We do our packing much like we do our laundry... As far away from each other as humanly possible. Jessie is fanatical about sunscreen application. She has favorites for both face and body, and even uses one that comes infused with bug spray. Gerard denies that he has rules for his approach to sun exposure, but Jessie points out that history says otherwise. The Peppers find out that taking care of yourself applies to both skincare AND fast food. Gerard tries to uncover why he sometimes acts rude when they visit Jessie’s parents. A snippy comment after a rough day can end up being the straw that breaks the wifey’s back. Hilarious brothers are sometimes a blessing in disguise. We’ll prove it by pointing you toward the episode with little bro Joey from last season. The Peppers tend to revert to their childlike selves whenever they visit their families. The Mom’s love to dote, but Jessie insists on pitching in. (And ruining Gerard’s vacations at the same time.) Come up with a code-word to avoid conflict, and remember that co-piloting a situation is always the best plan. TRIGGER QUESTIONS: When you’re taking a trip together, do you pack separately or in the same suitcase? How did this approach come about? Have you ever gotten so sunburned that it actually made you sick? What is one self-care habit that you wish your partner would be better at? Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, sign up for our mailing list and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!

The Peppers get real about their vows and open up about the challenge of living with chronic pain. Jessie woos Gerard with some baked salmon and a basketball game, but when the going gets tough he throws her under the team bus. If you happen to have a friend who experiences or is married to someone who has chronic health issues, would you please consider sharing this episode with them? ​ We're happy to pour out our hearts as a way to encourage others, and we would love your help in making sure that this show reaches exactly the right ears. QUICK BITES: A General Note: Our marriage isn’t perfect, but our commitment is real. Hear the full run-down in the first few minutes of this week’s show. Jessie didn’t get invited to fill our a March Madness bracket this year, and the Jayhawks will probably win because of it. Becky Murphy Simpson and her YAY SPORTS t-shirt. The Sweet Sixteen tournament has nothing to do with the MTV show of the same name. (Most wives would be way more excited about watching sports if there were fireworks and fancy parties involved.) The Peppers very first Valentine’s Day together set a precedent for our sports watching habits, and you’ll hear why Gerard has been trying to make up for it ever since. Because we love you, here is the upgraded (healthy!) version of our beloved (currently forbidden) Rice A Roni mix. Jessie pulls a Barney Stinson by wooing Gerard with a homecooked meal and a half-time make-out session. His and hers henleys… Are these still a thing? We should make these a thing. The Jayhawks mascot is NOT the same thing as Foghorn Leghorn from Looney Tunes. Jessie apologizes in advance to all of our fellow Rock Chalk fans. Picture of Gerard in his white track jacket? For the record: There is a distinct difference between “not loving a sport” and “hating a sport.” Gerard throws Jessie under the bus when it comes to whether or not she really loves the teams that have his heart. Social media makes it a lot easier to keep up with the commentary, but nothing beats plopping down in a recliner to enjoy your favorite teams. Do they still make TVs with picture in picture? Thank goodness for the ability to watch sports on our special “appy-things.” Jessie’s chronic pain has been a part of The Peppers relationship for longer than they’ve even been married. Science Mike + The Liturgists Podcast Jessie describes her own Six layers of Chronic Pain Rachel Dratch on SNL video The book Daring Greatly by Brene Brown gives us helpful language around identifying and dealing with our emotions of shame. Jessie learns that noticing patterns within her interactions with Gerard can teach us a lot about how to heal the mishaps. (No matter how annoying they may be.) We promise that Jessie has not actually ever received medical treatment from a man standing on a corner. Please consider sharing this with anyone you know who experiences pain on a regular basis. TRIGGER QUESTIONS: Does your spouse have a special interest that you could bless them by getting excited about? Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, sign up for our mailing list and tweet to us at @meetthepeppers if you have something to share while you listen!

You might already know our guests Damien + Grasie from their pop-culture status, but The Peppers simply know them as a couple of fun friends who are always loaded with laughs. Listen in as Jessie + Gerard chat with them about improv comedy, mischievous cats, and that one time when Damien got mad enough to throw a chair. CONNECT WITH THE DUO ONLINE: Find Damien on Twitter / Snapchat / Instagram - @damienfahey Find Grasie on Instagram / Snapchat / Twitter - @grasiemercedes (+ be sure to check out her style blog for endless amounts of inspiration!) QUICK BITES: The fun in the FB group included words from Mark the mailman, a fairy-godcouple that sent us on our flea market date, and FINALLY the recipe for Jessie's eggplant tacos. Save the Date for our big party in Long Beach on May 29th! The Peppers will be celebrating the wrap of Season Two, and we can't wait kick off the summer together. Damien tells us what it's like to always and forever be "The MTV Guy." (Among other things!) Consider this a friendly reminder that your husband might be funnier on twitter than he is in real life. Being coupled-up has given this pair a serious advantage on the comedy stage. (More proof of our theory that things are better when we're together!) This duo AND their friend Dave Holmes recommend iOWest for improv classes in LA. The Faheys biggest fight involved a chair being thrown. But other than that, they hardly ever argue... A neo-neat-freak admits she has a problem, and that is the first step. The secret to a happy marriage is most definitely keeping separate closets. The collective form of the word "MY" applies to parents, weddings, bedrooms and favorite pets. Cats are nearly impossible to control. Cute as they may be, having one at home is not for the faint of heart. TRIGGER QUESTIONS: Who is funnier, you or your spouse? Team Dog or Team Cat?

It’s been a while... but this week The Peppers are sharing a "quickie" listener-Q+A episode, and it's all about how they navigate friendships as a married couple. Tune in to hear them chat about prioritizing time for their favorite pals, and how to avoid an acquaintance that sometimes makes you feel like less than yourself. Don't Forget: We are headed on vacation together in April and we want YOU to come with us! Some of our fabulous listeners are joining us in Puerto Vallarta next month, and we can already tell that it is going to be EPIC... There is room for just one more couple, so snag your spot before registration closes on March 20th. QUICK BITES: Take a listen to Episode 18 to hear us share our play-by-play for making friends with strangers. There is tons of fun going on with the Great Love Gang in the facebook group... Come hang out over there! We had a blast with The Dluxes last weekend, and it made us SO excited to have them treat our Getaway couples to a complimentary Creative Marriages session in Mexico next month. Q1: Do you guys ever have trouble divvying up time between his and her friends? Also, do you feel like you get enough guy-time/girl-time, or do you ever feel guilty needing that? Q2: How do you balance time with just the two of us and with other people? Q3: How do you deal with your spouse’s friends? Friends from past, new friends, friends you tolerate, friends you love most? As promised, here's a link to Jessie’s Pepper Letter about flower + wreaths + faraway friends. Anyone up for an in-real-life dinner party? We’re doing some serious daydreaming about this, and will keep you posted as the prepping continues. TRIGGER QUESTIONS: When is the next chance that you and your partner could invite another couple for a double date? Which of your own friends would your partner choose as their favorite? Have you ever wished you could ask your spouse to stop hanging out with a certain friend? Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, sign up for our mailing list and send us a tweet if you have something to share while you listen!