Yes

Let me answer the question up front and succinctly – YES. Marriage is still relevant, desirable, and a necessary pillar of civilization. If it crumbles, so does our society.

Preface

Since I am writing about marriage this week, I feel I need to preface this week’s post with these thoughts.

In Praise of Singleness

Those of you who have read this blog or listened to the podcast for any length of time know that they are created by me, a long-term single, for the edification and encouragement of people who are single. I believe that singleness is not a punishment or a burden to bear but is a valuable thing. Between being late to marry in the first place and being divorced later, I have lived over half my life as a single person. So, even though I am now remarried, I am in no way anti-singleness.

In fact, after my divorce, once I got the hang of it, my single again years became an important period of my life – a time of tremendous growth and creativity. Those years formed the foundation for this season of my life. That is why I emphasize the opportunity and the importance of being truly single while you are single. Those years can be a catalyst for turning you into the person you want to be.

As I have said before in previous posts, becoming happily single is its own reward – plus it gives you the best chance at being happily married later.

In Praise of Marriage

All that being said, this post is a post in defense of and praise of marriage.

The Decline of Marriage

Marriage is among several traditional foundations of society that have been neglected and even outright denigrated for several decades now. It first started to break down a few decades ago as our collective national morals began to decay. Now, it has fallen out of fashion with “Millennials”

and it looks as though it will fare even worse among “Centennials”.

It is also on the decline among many in my generation, the younger “Baby Boomers” and older “Xers”, especially those who have suffered the pain of divorce. Many of my peers cannot see themselves every risking that kind of betrayal and heartbreak again.

Among those who do marry, more are doing so later in life. In 2010 the Pew Research Center revealed that only 50% of people over eighteen were married. In 1960 that figure was 72%.

Why Get Married?

Yes, too many marriages end in divorce and too many marriages are unhappy. Yes, the social stigma of sex outside of marriage, living together, and even having children out of wedlock has largely vanished. And yes, marriage is no longer the revered institution it once was. So, why not chuck it altogether and just shack up? Or, why not just hook up when you need a little sexual release? Since so many people are content to just date or be friends with benefits, why get married?

I’m glad you asked.

Good for Society

Let’s look at the big picture first. Stable, monogamous marriages are good for society.  They are the best environment in which to raise children. Married women are at less risk of domestic abuse than those living with a boyfriend. Children are also at a lower risk of abuse in a stable two-parent home. Married women are less likely to be the victim of a violent crime and married men are less likely to commit a violent crime.

Plus, having a healthy, financially stable, sexually satisfied populace raising their children together as husband and wife, is good for society at large. And, studies show that is what marriage leads to.

Good Health

Happily married people live longer, healthier, happier lives than single people. Yes. It’s true. Research it. The studies are numerous, high quality, and conclusive. And, this runs the gamut, from mental and emotional health to physical health, a good marriage is good for you.

In general,