In the premiere episode of the RelationStitch podcast, Episode 1: Marriage is Work, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Clyde Fraley and his wife, Stephanie, dive into a topic that often scares couples: the idea that marriage is "work." But as they explain, this isn't about drudgery—it's about purpose, legacy, and spiritual alignment.

Watch the full video here: https://youtu.be/V9jfQHNFnpY?si=Ti3B0JiuyxOdczOq

Redefining "Work" in Marriage

The hosts immediately clarify that while marriage requires intentional effort, the "work" they are referring to is purposeful, much like the original mandate given to Adam and Eve in Genesis.

• A Biblical Foundation: Clyde and Stephanie discuss how Eve was created as a "helpmate" not to be a servant, but a co-laborer. They emphasize that partners are designed to tackle life’s mission together [03:25].
• More Than Just Procreation: The command to "be fruitful and multiply" isn't just about having children. It represents a call to multiply wisdom, spiritual fruit, and blessings into the next generation, breaking old curses and setting new standards [12:04].

The Psychology of Shared Meaning

Clyde bridges the spiritual with the psychological, referencing the work of renowned therapists John and Julie Gottman. He explains that couples often drift apart because they lack "shared meaning" or "dreams within conflict" [20:04].

• Erikson’s Stages: Using Erik Erikson’s stages of development, Clyde highlights the danger of "Stagnation" in mid-life. If couples stop working toward a common goal after raising kids, they risk boredom and disconnection. The antidote is Generativity—giving back and building a legacy [22:29].

Key Takeaways for Your Marriage

• Create a Vision: Without a vision, a marriage perishes. Couples need a "common garden" to tend—whether that’s a ministry, a business, or a community cause [15:59].
• Intimacy is Conversation: Stephanie notes that true intimacy often happens during deep, late-night conversations about life and goals, not just through physical connection [30:46].
• The Growth Cycle: A healthy marriage follows a cycle: Vision → Work Together → Accomplish → Celebration → Rest → Repeat. This shared victory builds a bond that "makeup sex" alone cannot replicate [33:51].

Action Step: The Family Mission Statement

If you feel your relationship is drifting, the Frys suggest starting with a conversation: "Where are we going?" [28:37]. They recommend creating a Family Mission Statement to keep your "work" aligned and purposeful [36:03].

Click below to watch the full episode on YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLu_wRb72Oq6Htdb7EFHkzF1EyAApKfP7D

For relationship courses and free downloadable resources visit www.relationstitch.com
To schedule a therapy session visit www.clydefraley.com