Married and Love It

Takeaways:

• Check for complacency and intentionally turn up the heat in marriage.
• Remind yourself that small daily acts of affection sustain intimacy more than rare grand gestures.
• Neglect is gradual and will turn warmth into roommate-like distance over time.
• One person can start change by being intentional, calling, praying, or holding hands.
• Here's a question to ask yourself. "If we continue treating our marriage exactly we are treating it today for the next five years what would our relationship look like and feel like?"

Scriptures referred to: Ecclesiastes 9:9-10; Proverbs 24:30-34

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EP 69 starts the Genuine Love Series; they are 69; 70; 76-81

www.marriedandloveit.com/69

We assert that agape love—God’s unconditional, action‑oriented love—is the essential foundation for a healthy, Christ‑centered marriage. We explain that agape must be combined with six complementary forms of love—phileo (friendship), eros (romance), storge (family affection), ahavah (commitment), epithumia (desire), and related expressions—to produce a smooth, functioning union. We emphasize forgiveness as indispensable because unforgiveness hardens the heart and can destroy a marriage. We urge couples to choose love daily, to speak the language of love with gentle words and tone, to give grace, and to remain committed through trials. We offer practical actions such as reading a love confession, practicing brief daily hugs and a ten‑second kiss, avoiding lists of past offenses, and seeking help when necessary, so that we may be married and love it on purpose.

Takeaways:

• We emphasize that agape love is a deliberate, sacrificial choice and not merely an emotion.
• We urge you to practice forgiveness promptly to prevent bitterness and long term damage in marriage.
• We advise couples to put all six types of love into regular practice for a smooth marriage.
• We recommend speaking words that build up your spouse while avoiding harsh speech, wrong tone, and judgment.
• We encourage committed teamwork during trials, remembering vows and resisting the temptation to abandon or withdraw.
• We encourage daily simple actions, such as a 10-second kiss and affectionate touch, to restore intimacy.
• We advise persistent patience and grace, giving each other time to change while actively becoming more lovable partners.

Episodes referred to: 69, 70, 76-80

www.marriedandloveit.com/69

Scriptures referred to: Ecclesiastes 9:9; Colossians 3:14; I Corinthians 13:4-7

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“Love Confession”

I Corinthians 13:4-8

God is Love

And the Love of God is in me.

Therefore:

I endure long and am patient and kind;

I’m never envious or jealous;

I’m not boastful or proud;

I’m never haughty, selfish or rude;

I am never irritable or touchy;

I’m never resentful and I don’t hold grudges;

I hardly even notice when others may do wrong;

I expect and believe in the best of every person

And will defend them no matter what anyone else may say;

The love of God in me never fails, therefore, I never fail.

Love is my greatest aim.

We outline practical steps to live agape love. We name concrete actions and habits. We teach ten ways to show agape, including focusing on your spouse, taking initiative, serving without expectation, forgiving first, and meeting needs. We give short, real examples from our life. We describe a hotel weekend where choosing to listen turned potential conflict into connection. We describe small daily acts, like clearing pine needles from a windshield, that communicate care. We list a simple pattern: look, listen, ask, and take action. We offer immediate practices couples can try. We recommend the ten-second kiss each morning. We advise thinking ahead to fix small needs before they become complaints. We warn against serving with a negative tone. We encourage spouses to be one another's biggest fan. We end with a call to prayer, an offer to connect, and a reminder that small, steady choices produce deep and lasting love.

Takeaways:

• We teach that agape love is a daily deliberate choice to seek our spouse's good.
• We remind couples to put on love each morning and start each day with a clean slate.
• We model serving without expectation and taking initiative to meet needs without seeking immediate return.
• We encourage listening, asking, and taking action so we notice small needs and think ahead to serve.
• We explain that love is unconditional and not performance based, so we love even when spouses act poorly.
• We suggest practical habits like the ten second morning kiss to renew connection and bless each other.
• We urge motivating and encouraging our spouse toward goals, helping them reach full potential through sacrificial service.
• We base our counsel on scripture and long marriage experience, urging humility, self-giving, and concern for our partner's welfare.

Book referred to: The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Episodes referred to: 69, 70, 76-79

www.marriedandloveit.com/69

Scriptures referred to: Ecclesiastes 9:9; Colossians 3:14: Philippians 2:3-4

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• phone 984-270-6062

This episode provides a deep exploration of the multifaceted nature of love, particularly in the context of marriage, as the hosts Greg and Linda Smith articulate six distinctive ways of loving one's spouse. Among these, desire—referred to as 'Epithymia'—is presented as a crucial component that fuels both emotional and physical intimacy. The hosts reflect on their own nearly five decades of marriage, sharing personal anecdotes that show how desire, when nurtured, can lead to a more fulfilling relationship. They emphasize the importance of being intentional about cultivating desire, suggesting that couples should create opportunities for connection and affection, rather than allowing life’s distractions to foster a roommate dynamic. By invoking scriptural references that underscore the beauty of marital love, the discussion encourages couples to engage actively in their relationships, fostering an environment where both partners feel cherished and desired. The episode serves as a reminder that love is not merely a passive experience but requires ongoing effort and commitment to thrive amidst the challenges of everyday life.

Takeaways:

• The podcast emphasizes the importance of genuine love in marriage, detailing various types of love, including friendship, romance, and commitment, which should all be present for a thriving relationship.
• Listeners are encouraged to prioritize their relationship by actively demonstrating desire towards their spouse, using practical actions to maintain intimacy and connection over time.
• The hosts discuss how external pressures and personal challenges can hinder marital desire, urging couples to engage in self-examination and seek God's guidance to restore emotional closeness.
• The concept of 'Epithymia,' or strong desire, is highlighted as essential for a fulfilling marital experience, reinforcing the idea that desire must be nurtured through intentional actions and communication.
• The speakers advocate for regular acts of affection, such as the 'ten second kiss,' to cultivate a sense of longing and desire, thereby counteracting the roommate phenomenon in long-term marriages.
• The overarching message of the episode stresses the necessity of mutual desire and commitment to enhance the marital bond, encouraging couples to actively work on their relationship and avoid complacency.

Episodes referred to: 69, 70, 76-78

Scriptures referred to: Ecclesiastes 9:9; Colossians 3:8; verses 12-14; Song of Solomon 4:9; Song of Solomon 5:16; Song of Solomon 7: 10-11; I Corinthians 7:33-34

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An exploration of marital love unfolds through the lens of Eros, the romantic love that is often viewed as the foundation for marital bliss. Greg and Linda Smith, seasoned hosts of the Married and Love It podcast, delve into the intricacies of Eros love—its definition, significance, and role within the sacred confines of marriage. They articulate that Eros is not merely a fleeting passion but a yearning that fosters intimacy, joy, and a sense of belonging between spouses. This episode not only provides a biblical perspective on Eros but also highlights the vitality of nurturing this aspect of love to sustain a vibrant and fulfilling marriage. The hosts engage in a thoughtful dialogue about the importance of maintaining Eros love throughout the lifespan of a marriage, asserting that while initial romantic feelings may fade, couples can cultivate this love through intentional actions and commitments. They present practical strategies, such as expressing physical affection, planning romantic dates, and communicating admiration, which serve to revive and sustain the thrill of being in love. Greg and Linda emphasize that the integration of Eros with agape love—selfless and sacrificial love—is crucial for achieving a harmonious balance in marital relationships. They encourage listeners to actively engage in their relationships, suggesting that cultivating Eros can lead to a richer, more dynamic partnership.

Takeaways:

• The concept of Eros love represents the passionate and romantic affection between spouses, which is essential for marital intimacy.
• Incorporating Eros into marriage can revitalize the relationship, preventing it from becoming mundane and routine over time.
• Christian principles provide a foundation for understanding and expressing the various types of love, including Eros, in a marriage context.
• Maintaining a balance between Eros and other forms of love, such as Agape, is crucial for fostering a well-rounded and fulfilling marital bond.

Scriptures referred to: Ecclesiastes 9:9-10; Colossians 3:14

"Love Life for Every Married Couple" by Dr. Ed Wheat

www.marriedandloveit.com/69 Part 1 of Genuine Love

www.marriedandloveit.com/70 Part 2 of Genuine Love

www.marriedandloveit.com/76 Part 3 of Genuine Love

www.marriedandloveit.com/77 Part 4 of Genuine Love

Romance - EP 33; Sex - EP 34-38; The Kiss - EP 12; EP 68 - The Power of Holding Hands

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The episode presents a thorough exploration of love's multifaceted nature within the sphere of marriage, as articulated by hosts Greg and Linda Smith. Drawing from their extensive experience in marriage and ministry, they outline a framework for understanding how different types of love contribute to a successful and fulfilling partnership. They focus particularly on Storge love, which signifies familial affection and loyalty, arguing that this form of love is essential for creating a secure and nurturing environment in which both partners can thrive. The Smiths emphasize that love is not merely a fleeting emotion but a comprehensive commitment that requires intentionality and effort. They delineate six types of love—Agape, Eros, Phileo, Storge, Ahava, and Epithemia—each playing a critical role in fostering a robust marital bond. By incorporating biblical principles and personal anecdotes, the episode encourages listeners to actively engage in cultivating these forms of love, particularly in times of adversity when emotional safety and connection are paramount. Listeners are motivated to reflect on their own relationships, considering how they can implement practical strategies to enhance their emotional intimacy and sense of belonging. The discussion culminates in actionable advice for couples, urging them to create a culture of kindness and support within their marriage. Through this lens, the episode serves not only as an instructional guide but also as an invitation to embrace the profound journey of partnership and love.

Takeaways:

• The podcast emphasizes the importance of developing genuine love in marriage by utilizing six vital forms of love, which can profoundly enhance the marital relationship.
• Listeners are encouraged to cultivate a sense of belonging within their marriage, which is described as essential for creating lasting emotional connections.
• The hosts discuss the significance of open communication and emotional safety, asserting that spouses must feel secure enough to share their vulnerabilities.
• The episode highlights that love should encompass acceptance, loyalty, and commitment, and that these elements work together to strengthen the marital bond.
• The series provides practical advice for couples to implement daily acts of love and care, demonstrating the necessity of intentionality in nurturing a relationship.

The hosts conclude by reminding listeners that a healthy marriage requires active participation from both partners, emphasizing the principle that two individuals are stronger together than apart.

Episodes referred to: EP 4. Better You-Better Marriage- Ten Keys to a Better Marriage (pt 1 of 2)

www.marriedandloveit.com/4

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• Scriptures Ref. Ecclesiastes 9:9, 4:9-12, Romans 21:10, Genesis 2:24-25, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
• Book Ref. Love Life for Every Married Couple by Ed Wheat

In this enlightening episode, the Smiths delve into the complexities of love within marriage, particularly distinguishing the joy of friendship from the mundane existence often found in roommate-like relationships. They introduce the concept of phileo love, a crucial aspect that promotes not only affection but also camaraderie and emotional intimacy. Through practical examples and relatable scenarios, the hosts highlight the dangers of allowing daily routines and responsibilities to overshadow the deep connection that should exist between spouses. They assert that true companionship involves actively choosing to engage with one another, reflecting on how couples can strengthen their bond through shared experiences and emotional availability. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their relationships, asking themselves whether they are genuinely enjoying each other's company or merely cohabiting. The episode further explores biblical foundations of love, drawing from Ecclesiastes 9:9, which emphasizes the importance of enjoying life with one’s spouse. This sets a tone of accountability and introspection, prompting couples to assess their marital health. With a wealth of insights derived from their own 48 years of marriage, Greg and Linda provide an invaluable resource for couples seeking to transition from a roommate dynamic to a thriving partnership characterized by friendship, affection, and mutual support. The episode culminates in a call to action, inviting couples to take small yet significant steps towards rekindling their emotional connection and deepening their friendship.

Takeaways:

• In this episode, we emphasize the importance of nurturing a deep friendship within marriage, transcending the mere coexistence of roommates.
• Understanding the six biblical definitions of love is crucial for cultivating a vibrant and fulfilling marital relationship.
• We explore the detrimental effects of roommate syndrome, which can erode emotional intimacy and connection in a marriage.
• Engaging in shared experiences and supporting each other through challenges fosters a stronger bond and companionship in marriage.

Scriptures referred to: Ecclesiastes 9:9; Genesis 2:18

Episodes referred to: EP 68

www.marriedandloveit.com/68 The power of holding hands

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This episode dives into the essential habits that can set off fireworks in a marriage, fostering an atmosphere of love and mutual respect. The hosts draw upon their extensive experience and Christian faith to guide couples toward a more fulfilling relationship. Central to their discussion is the scripture from Ecclesiastes 9:9, which underscores the importance of enjoying life together as a couple, a sentiment that serves as the bedrock for the episode's thematic exploration. The five impactful habits discussed in this episode—appreciation, quality time, communication, celebration of blessings, and love—are presented as vital components of a thriving marriage. Each habit is examined in detail, with practical advice that listeners can incorporate into their own lives. For instance, the hosts highlight the significance of expressing appreciation regularly, which not only uplifts the spouse but also fortifies the emotional foundation of the marriage. Moreover, they emphasize the necessity of carving out quality time for one another, free from distractions, to nurture the relationship and deepen the bond. By actively engaging in these habits, couples are encouraged to create a joyful and vibrant marital life that aligns with God's design. As the episode concludes, Greg and Linda reiterate the importance of intentionality in marriage, asserting that a loving relationship requires ongoing effort and commitment. This podcast episode serves as both a guide and an inspiration for couples eager to enhance their connection and celebrate the blessings of their union. By focusing on these five habits, listeners are empowered to take proactive steps in their relationships, ensuring that their marriage not only survives but thrives. The Married in Love It podcast stands as an essential companion for those dedicated to living out their faith in the context of their marriage.

Takeaways:

• Investing time in your marriage through intentional habits can yield rewarding results.
• Practicing gratitude and appreciation for your spouse strengthens the bond and ignites love.
• Engaging in meaningful communication fosters deeper connections and understanding between partners.
• Quality time is essential for a vibrant marriage; prioritize undistracted moments together.

Scriptures referred to: Ecclesiastes 9:9

Episodes referred to: EP 68

www.marriedandloveit.com/68 The power of holding hands

www.marriedandloveit.com/72 Communication in marriage

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phone 984-270-6062

In this episode we are addressing the pivotal question of whether sex is merely a lackluster experience or a thrilling adventure. Our discussion is rooted in the belief that sex is a divine gift, intended for enjoyment and mutual pleasure between spouses. We explore the profound implications of communication, romance, and the foundational role of faith in enhancing one’s sexual relationship. It is imperative to recognize that a fulfilling sexual life is not merely a physical act but a critical component of marital connection that fosters bonding and intimacy. Join us as we provide insights and actionable steps to transform your marital intimacy from a mere obligation into a sizzling celebration of love.

Takeaways:

• Engaging in a healthy sexual relationship is essential for fostering connection and intimacy in marriage.
• Understanding that sex is a divine gift from God can transform one's perspective on marital intimacy.
• Communication about desires and preferences is crucial in creating a fulfilling sexual experience for both partners.
• Recognizing and addressing the various fizzlers that negatively impact sexual intimacy can lead to a more satisfying marital relationship.

Scriptures referred to: Song of Solomon 1:2; 2:5; 2:16, 17; 7:6-13; 8:14; Proverbs 5:18-19

Episodes referred to sex: 34-38; www.marriedandloveit.com/34

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In the podcast, Greg and Linda Smith present a compelling case for the necessity of romance as a vital component of a thriving marriage. They advocate for an understanding of romance that goes beyond societal clichés, proposing that true romantic expression is found in the everyday interactions between spouses. The hosts provide practical suggestions, such as verbal affirmations of love, thoughtful surprises, and the importance of physical affection, all of which serve to fortify the emotional connection partners share. They illustrate that romance can manifest in simple acts, such as a morning kiss or a surprise text during the day, reinforcing the idea that romance is not an isolated occurrence but rather a continuous commitment to nurturing one’s partner. This episode ultimately encourages listeners to actively engage in romantic behaviors as a way to enhance their marital relationship and deepen their love.

Takeaways:

• Investing time in marriage can yield significant insights and improvements in relationships.
• Romance should be viewed as an ongoing lifestyle rather than a singular occasion or event.
• Effective communication forms the foundation upon which romance can flourish in a marriage.
• Daily expressions of love, such as verbal affirmations and thoughtful gestures, enhance intimacy and connection.

Previous episodes on romance are EP 33; 15-18

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phone 984-270-6062