Married to Movies

In this episode of Married to Movies, Desmond and Megan take in a John Hughes double feature of 1984's Sixteen Candles and 1985's Weird Science. Join them as they struggle to remember the crazy house parties of their past and misspell popular websites. They talk about how well the films define the 1980s, because they were made back then, how hot both Molly Ringwald and Kelly LeBrock are and how bad Robert Downey Jr.'s teeth used to be. Warning: there may be laser noises inside! Be careful, or you'll be stewed, buttwad. Send questions, comments, and requests to: [email protected] and 206.350.0057.

It's back to normal this week as Desmond and Megan settle in for a man movie. On the docket this week? Professional wrestler and rap musician vehicle, Wrong Side of Town. Desmond likes this movie except for the directing, the acting, the music, and the story. Megan hates chopper motorcycles. She also despises professional wrestling and all it stands for, except for hot wrestlers and their bums. Megan makes more sound effects and gangsta raps. The she sings Twisted Sister. Badly. Can a machine gun make the guy holding it look like a pussy? Megan doesn't want to talk about the movie anymore, but the longer she talks about it the more she sounds like she knows what she's talking about. Then they play a lively game of Freeze Dance. Yeah, you read that right. Remember to pop over to the forums at www.earth-2.net to vote for Desmond's pick in next episode's John Hughes Double Feature. Send questions, comments, and requests to: [email protected] and 209.338.3774.

In the finale for March's Musicals & Mobsters, Desmond and Megan enthusiastically wrangle the huge casts of Rob Marshall's 2009 film Nine, and Francis Ford Coppola's 1974 masterpiece The Godfather: Part II. Desmond is hardly a cunning linguist, Megan gets her fill of feminism and it doesn't put her husband off. There's a lot of half-naked women in this movie, but Desmond can't shut up about Daniel Day Lewis. Man crush, anyone? Penelope Cruz is hot. Marion Cotillard is hot. Desmond makes up two odd noises to accentuate this. He also spends half the movie crafting a clever joke about Fergie and Megan disregards it immediately. Sad face. What happened to Nicole Kidman? Megan has some choice words for Tom Cruise. Then Desmond goes on and on about The Godfather: Part II while Megan naps. Send questions, comments, and requests to: [email protected] and 208.338.3774.

In the second part of March's Musicals & Mobsters theme, Desmond and Megan are joined by commentator Darryll for a mind-bogglingly ridiculous look at Martin Scorsese's 1990 masterpiece, Goodfellas. Then the couple go it alone for the cornea-searing spectacle of Baz Luhrman's 2001 film, Moulin Rouge. How many times does Darryll slap himself in the face? Megan enjoys the mobster lifestyle quite a lot until, you know, the bad parts. But that's kind of the point. Megan hates rats and that's also kind of the point. What does cocaine do to the male anatomy? Megan likes watching movies with Darryll because he talks. What the hell happened to the Godfather review? What does Megan's Robocop dream consist of? And we all know how Megan feels about the Kidman / McGregor vehicle, but what does Desmond think of it? Seriously, people, strap in. After Megan's startling announcement about the future of their relationship, this might be the final episode of Married to Movies. Send questions, comments, and requests to: [email protected] and 207.338.3774.

To celebrate the inaugural episode of March's Musicals & Mobsters, Desmond and Megan kick it off Chicago-style by first dissecting Brian De Palma's The Untouchables and 2002's Oscar darling, Chicago. Kevin Costner's a what?! Megan pulls out her cinephile chops on 1920s Russian silent cinema. Des misses the point. Megan thinks blood and grey matter is pretty. Morricone or Kenny G? You decide. Did Salvador Dali work with De Palma on this one? How does Des feel about Richard Gere? How does Megan feel about her husband being in love with Catherine Zeta-Jones? Who calls who a "butthead?" Megan bursts into song and Des takes exception to a song glorifying violence towards men. Yeah, he does. Meg bursts into song repetitively. There's Schindler's List and Snuggie talk abound, as well as celebrity culture and all that jazz. Send questions, comments, and requests to: [email protected] and 206.338.3774.

It's chick flick time again, and 1990's Truly Madly Deeply is on deck. How many times can the hosts mention Ghost? How pathetic would Desmond be if Megan was dead? What's the deal with Desmond's bachelorhood and the fruit fly situation? How wicked is Alan Rickman's mustache? How many bad things are said about British cinema? Would Desmond haunt Megan if he died? The answers to these questions and more in this week's episode of Married to Movies! Send questions, comments, and requests to: [email protected] and 206.338.3774.

Tonight, we podcast in Hell! Just how annoyed is Megan by Zack Snyder's 300? She makes a lot of noises, sings about stabbing, and wants rainbows. And then there's the whole thing about beheading Des if the carpet wouldn't get stained. Megan likes the Iliad except for, you know, the part about the war. Des talks about history too much, and wishes wars were fought with swords like in the good ol' days. Megan makes up a word. Des stretches to bring up subtext, and Megan barely buys it. CGI abs? Which member of British royalty does Megan have a crush on? Trick question! She has a crush on two! All this and more in this episode of Married to Movies! Send questions, comments, and requests to: [email protected] and 206.338.3774.

In this episode, there's drama, bickering, fighting, sexiness, profound metaphors, and tears. And that's just the hosts! Desmond threatens to destroy Megan, and she rips his guts out. Is this a kung fu splatter epic? No, it's (500) Days of Summer. Also, has Megan ever seen Bat-nipples? And Married to Movies goes international. But don't worry, it's not scary... because there's numbers. And numbers help you. Send questions, comments, and requests to: [email protected] and 206.338.3774.

Dead or alive, you're listening to us. You want tangents? We've got tangents! This episode of Married to Movies sees Desmond and Megan discussing Robocop. But more importantly, the following questions are asked: Why does Megan need to see Showgirls? How old is Screech from Saved by the Bell? Is psychopathic Red Forman cute? And does the film need a love interest? No. The answer is no. Also discussed: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, exploding mutants, being shot in the balls, and Megan doesn't know anything about the 1980s except for Leeza Gibbons. Listen. You know you want to. Send questions, comments, and requests to: [email protected] and 206.338.3774.

In this inaugural episode of Married to Movies, Desmond and Megan review 2008's estrogen-laced ensemble piece The Women. What the hell happened to Annette Bening? Can Meg Ryan still act if she can't change her facial expressions? Can Eva Mendes in lingerie not be sexy? And where did all the men go? All these questions and more are answered inside. Join us in unholy movie matrimony. Send questions, comments, and requests to: [email protected] and 206.338.3774.