Married Up

Let's be clear, human love fails. But God offers us a love that does not, and He also offers to enable us to live out unfailing love in our marriage.

Have you ever had a coach or mentor who believes in you much that they practically WILL-you to be better? This is what love does. It's not pessimistic jaded or critical, but it believes for the best and strains forward to reach it. Let's talk about how spouses can be that for each other through all the ups and downs.

Love says "You are safe with me. I will keep your secrets. I will correct you in privately while praising you publicly and even take the fall with you or for you. You can trust that I will put your good ahead of my own.  Let's talk about how these ideas play out in marriage!

Here's another great way your marriage makes you better - When you are "equally yoked" (as the Bible calls it) you have effectively DOUBLED your ability to hear from the Holy Spirit! And when stand together, against evil, and for truth together, and are open to correction from each other, you are so much stronger!

When we take on the burden of keeping records of other people's wrongs it creates burdens we were never meant to carry. When we self-preserve we actually self-harm. When we assume the role of JUDGE, we are inferring God's judgment will be insufficient. Let's talk about letting go and being free.

When uncontrolled anger is allowed to flow unchecked in a marriage you leave yourselves defenseless against destruction. Heritage and inherited family patterns are not a sufficient excuse. Let's talk about some ways to slow our anger down to something manageable and healthy. It's possible!

 We are born selfish - sin-nature at it's "finest". But God's way (much higher than ours) replaces selfishness with servanthood. Marriage will "force the issue" on our inherent selfishness like almost nothing else! But it can be hard for us to learn and harder to live - let's talk about it!

How hard do you find it to honor your spouse when they are failing and faltering or when they're not keeping up "their side of the bargain" around the house... What can one do with a husband who craves honor, but isn't living his best honorable life right now? The honor the Bible tells us to give each other supersedes condition - and that make it hard for us to to give it in our own humanity! Let's talk about it.

God made us to need community, and community, especially at its most intimate expression (marriage) is humbling by design. In humility in marriage,.  our "low places" are raised up by our spouse who covers us and our high places are lowered down as we cover them. In humility love calls us to lay down what we want as we receive what we really need.

Is it possible to be envious or jealous of your spouse? Maybe thinking they have the 'better end of the deal' in this season, or that their part in your shared roles is better than yours? How can we embrace contentment, practice gratitude and re-frame our thoughts surround the TEAM that is your marriage? Let's talk!