“The Road goes ever on and on,

Down from the door where it began.

Now, far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow if I can,”

J. R.R. Tolkien's The Fellowship of the Ring.

The retreat must end, and we must return to our jobs. For some, we return to our families and kids, and for all of us, a packed calendar and our faith community. Projects and to-dos around the house, and ultimately, frustrations, await each of us. The journey home provides us with the opportunity, the opportunity to find the strength to create and ultimately answer the question, 

“What is a man who doesn’t make the world better?”

Strength, the first of four major waypoints on the path of Masculinity, and each leading to a more complete view of the masculine identity. Following the example of our Creator, we are invited to use our strength to be co-creators and make the world better. 

These waypoints build on each other, and out of a man’s strength flows compassion. During the ministry of Jesus, throughout all the cities and villages, he saw the crowds; he had compassion for them because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.  Compassion sees people…it genuinely sees people and feels for them, cares for them, and calls us to use our strength to make the world better.

What is beautiful to behold in these stories of Jesus’ ministry is another place perhaps to make camp on the tail of masculinity, and there we find the way Jesus was Present. Chris Inman talks about it as, “ Jesus modeled for us how to, as men, hold space with someone.” Our families need not only our strength and compassion but also our ability to be present with them in whatever it is they are going through. 

Every man will come to a point in his life when he asks the question, “What’s it all for?” What’s the Point of all this? We are uniquely made; scripture says we are “His workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works,”  work that God has prepared for us to do. We have purpose, and God, our heavenly Father, is inviting us into that work. 

Ephesians 2:10

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. (ESV)

Lies Told and Snares that Snag

“If you are more interested in people than you are yourself, you will learn a great deal.” 

The road of manhood is wrought with many dangers and pitfalls in our world today. Historically, the mantle of provider has been laid on the shoulders of men and has become a lie of masculinity. Gus Fring, from Breaking Bad, articulated it about as clearly as possible, 

“What does a man do, Walter? A man provides for his family, even when he is not appreciated. Or respected. Or even loved. He simply bares up, and he does it. Because he’s a man.”

What does this mentality do to us, and where does it lead? The truth is you don’t have to be wealthy to be a man, but we can create a legacy of goodness to pass on to future generations. “Providing” is more than money or wealth; it offers your presence and creates a safe place for your family. 

No matter the pitfall we encounter, we must continue to look back to the person of Jesus, who was fully man and said, “The Son of man doesn’t have a place to lay his head.” The shortest scripture in all of the Bible proclaims that Jesus Wept. The greatest commandment calls us to Love the  Lord our God with all our heart and all our soul; one commentator called the soul the seat of our emotions. God has given us those emotions and calls us to love him in that way. 

When we don’t know what to do with our emotions, We self-medicate to cope with life. Whatever it is that we run to for medication to cope, we understand it comes from a very emotional place, and we struggle to name it. We have an opportunity to smash the bottle into which we have stuffed our emotions; we must find a place among other men, or we will lose out on so much we were meant for. 

Many of these pitfalls flow from places where we were not given masculinity, and we wrestle with the question, “Are we enough?” Examining our story to observe how we were led in masculinity will help us to name the things we struggle to name. 

When God proclaimed, “It is not good for man to be alone,” in that proclamation was baked so much more than just male and female companionship. The recipe for wholeness includes female companionship, yes, but it also includes living in a greater community of being known. 

In the example we have in Christ, as he walked in this greater community, in true rabbinic practice, he often answered questions with questions. He modeled for us how to be curious about others, “look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:4)

Hebrews 12:1-2 (CSB)

Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every hindrance and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us,

2 keeping our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith. For the joy that lay before him, he endured the cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 

If you have questions or comments, email us [email protected]

For more information about Mars Hill Church, visit www.pomh.org

Music in this episode was purchased from Epidemic Sound, Featuring "Appalachian Trail" by Hunter Quinn.

'If the young are not initiated into the village, they will burn it down just to feel its warmth.”

African Proverb

The church, more often than not, has set out to cultivate what John Eldredge refers to as "Nice Men," or perhaps what we might call a "good boy." But how do we move beyond that to become a Good Man—a man who reflects the masculine model of Christ?

When we turn to Scripture as our guide, we find a model that challenges and refines us. We are called to imitate Christ, the perfect man. In his letter to the Corinthians, Paul gives us a clear charge: “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love” (1 Corinthians 16:13-14). This call is not merely to strength but to a strength tempered by love, as modeled by Christ Himself.

C.S. Lewis captures the tension between strength and goodness in his description of Aslan, the great lion of Narnia. In The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Mr. Beaver says:

“Safe? Don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ’Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”

Here, we glimpse the tension of what it means to be a Good Man. There’s a desire for a clear, black-and-white checklist to define manhood, but the example of Jesus is complex and nuanced. Jesus was powerful and tender, authoritative yet humble. The King of Kings rode into Jerusalem on not a war horse but a donkey. He didn’t fit the mold of what those around Him expected. In many ways, He was a wild man, challenging the status quo and living with an intensity unmatched by others. He certainly was not domesticated and led around on a leash.

Each of us is uniquely crafted by Christ—a masterpiece made for good works. We are made in the image of God, and in each of us, there is an adventurous spirit that longs to come alive, a spirit that often finds expression in the company of other men gathered around the fire of fellowship. While none of us are Christ, we are called to imitate Him. Together, in community and discussion, we can explore and reflect on the manly examples we see in the life of Christ.

There is a hunger in our hearts for this wildness we see in Jesus and other men in the scriptures, for this deeper understanding of what it means to be a Good Man, not just a good boy. Through the lens of Christ's life, we can rediscover what that truly means.

If you have questions or comments, email us [email protected]

For more information about Mars Hill Church, visit www.pomh.org

Music in this episode was purchased from Epidemic Sound, Featuring "Appalachian Trail" by Hunter Quinn.

“A woman simply is, but a man must become. Masculinity is risky and elusive…and it is confirmed by other men.”

—Camille Paglia, from Sex, Art,

 and American Culture: New Essays (1920)

A great deal has been said in recent times about defining what it means to be a man and even more about what makes a "good" or "real" man. Some argue that there is a toxic attack on masculinity, while others insist on a more refined understanding. Either way, there is an undeniable polarization in today's world over the meaning of manhood. As we gather together this weekend, we want to revisit the essence of masculine identity and perhaps even reawaken those parts of ourselves that may have slumbered or withered away.

In the ancient days of Israel, King David—known as a warrior, poet, and man after God’s own heart—faced the end of his life with an enduring legacy. As he lay on his deathbed, he gave a final charge to his son Solomon: "Be strong, and show yourself a man" (1 Kings 2:2). This simple yet profound command carries a weight that transcends time. For centuries, men have sought to understand and live out this instruction, and yet, in many ways, modern society has drifted from its core meaning. It is time to begin the conversation anew, to embark on a journey of rediscovering what it means to "show yourself a man."

We desperately need relationships that remind us of this call. The circle around the fire, a timeless image of masculine fellowship, provides a sacred space for such reflection. Here, in the warmth of brotherhood, we are invited to ask ourselves difficult questions and find strength in each other's stories. As men, we must recognize that information alone will not guide us to true strength; it is through relationships—especially with other men—that the truth of what it means to be strong can truly take root in our hearts.

Take your seat around the proverbial fire and embrace the warmth of fellowship. In the company of other men, ask these questions and draw strength from one another’s stories. As you do, perhaps you will even rediscover belief in the power of masculine identity. I am reminded of the wise words of Reinhold Niebuhr from Discerning the Signs of the Times: Sermons for Today and Tomorrow (1949): "Humor is the prelude to faith, and laughter is the beginning of prayer."

If you have questions or comments, email us [email protected]

For more information about Mars Hill Church, visit www.pomh.org

Music in this episode was purchased from Epidemic Sound, Featuring "Appalachian Trail" by Hunter Quinn.