Our emotions shape our decisions, fuel our connections, and add depth to life. But when emotions spiral out of control—whether through explosive anger or lingering sadness—they can harm our well-being, relationships, and career success.

That’s why emotional regulation is a game-changer.

Emotional regulation is the ability to understand, manage, and respond to emotions in ways that serve us rather than sabotage us. Research from Harvard shows that individuals who regulate their emotions effectively experience 31% lower stress levels and greater resilience in difficult situations. These individuals report higher happiness levels, stronger relationships, and better work performance.

But let’s be clear—emotional regulation isn’t about suppressing emotions. It’s about navigating them skillfully, so they become tools for growth rather than obstacles.

For a deep dive into emotional regulation, check out the latest episode of Mental Health Bites (you can listen right here in substack, on Apple, Spotify, or watch on YouTube). But in this newsletter, we’ll explore how mastering emotional regulation can enhance every aspect of your life—and I’ll leave you with a powerful, research-backed strategy you can start using today.

How Emotional Regulation Protects Your Mental Health

Studies show that effective emotion regulation lowers cortisol (the stress hormone) and fosters psychological resilience. By managing emotions well, we can reduce stress, prevent emotional overload, and lower the risk of anxiety and depression.

Without regulation, overwhelming emotions can lead to exhaustion, difficulty concentrating, and an increased risk of mental health struggles.

How Emotional Regulation Strengthens Relationships

When emotions run high, people often react impulsively, leading to misunderstandings, conflicts, and strained relationships. Emotion regulation helps us pause, reflect, and communicate more effectively.

By managing our emotions, we improve our ability to actively listen and support others without getting overwhelmed. Over time, this fosters deeper and more fulfilling connections.

In contrast, unregulated emotions can lead to either explosive reactions (yelling, blaming) or emotional withdrawal(shutting down, avoiding conversations)—both of which damage relationships.

How Emotional Regulation Enhances Decision-Making and Problem-Solving

A calm, regulated mind is better at analyzing situations and making sound decisions. When emotions take over, we tend to make snap judgments that we later regret.

Professionals with strong emotional regulation skills excel at leading teams, resolving workplace conflicts, and making strategic decisions. Research suggests that emotional intelligence (EQ) is a stronger predictor of success than IQ—demonstrating just how critical these skills are.

How Emotional Regulation Supports Physical Health

Chronic emotional distress floods the body with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, increasing the risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, and weakened immunity. Emotion regulation techniques help restore calm, reducing stress hormone exposure and improving overall well-being.

Additionally, people who regulate emotions well are more likely to make healthier choices—avoiding emotional eating, reducing alcohol consumption, and maintaining an exercise routine.

How Emotional Regulation Boosts Overall Happiness

People with strong emotion regulation skills see challenges as temporary and solvable rather than overwhelming. By effectively managing emotions, they avoid getting stuck in negative cycles and instead cultivate joy, gratitude, and inner peace.

This ability to bounce back from setbacks creates a greater sense of control, confidence, and emotional resilience—leading to a more fulfilling life.

A Practical Tip: ABC PLEASE for Emotional Regulation

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and other psychological approaches emphasize the power of naming and understanding emotions to help regulate them.

One of the most effective DBT techniques is ABC PLEASE, a simple yet powerful framework for strengthening emotional resilience.

A | Accumulate Positive Experiences

Build a life filled with positive moments to create emotional reserves. Every day, do one small thing that brings you joy—watch a funny video, text a friend, or take a short walk. Even five minutes of positivity can shift your emotional state.

B | Build Mastery

Feeling competent and in control reduces emotional vulnerability. Choose one skill—big or small—to practice daily, like learning a new recipe, improving a work-related task, or picking up a new language. Progress fuels confidence and emotional stability.

C | Cope Ahead

Prepare for emotionally challenging situations before they happen. Mentally rehearse how you want to respond, visualize yourself handling it calmly, and anticipate potential stressors. This reduces emotional reactivity when the moment arrives.

P | Physical Wellness

Your body impacts your emotions! Unmanaged physical health issues can worsen mood swings. Prioritize medical check-ups and address health concerns proactively.

L | Life-Affirming Eating Habits

Hunger or poor nutrition intensifies emotions. Eat balanced meals with protein, healthy fats, and fiber to stabilize mood and energy levels.

E | Exercise and Stay Active

Physical movement releases mood-boosting chemicals and reduces stress. Move daily—whether it’s a workout, a brisk walk, or even dancing to your favorite song.

A | Avoid Mood-Altering Substances

Excess caffeine, alcohol, and drugs throw emotional balance off track. Pay attention to how substances impact your mood and aim for moderation.

S | Sleep Is Essential

Lack of sleep makes emotion regulation significantly harder. Set a consistent bedtime and avoid screens for 30 minutes before sleep to improve emotional stability.

E | Emotional Awareness

Becoming aware of your emotions helps you respond rather than react. Simply labeling your emotions—“I feel frustrated” or “I feel anxious”—can give you greater control over them.

And there you have it—the ABC PLEASE method for mastering emotion regulation!

These skills are learnable and trainable. The more you practice, the easier it becomes to manage emotions effectively.

If this resonated with you, share it with someone who could benefit. It’s as simple as ABC.

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* I’m so excited to share that the New Rules of Attachment Paperback was just released on February 11!

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About me:

Dr. Judy Ho, Ph. D., ABPP, ABPdN is a triple board certified and licensed Clinical and Forensic Neuropsychologist, a tenured Associate Professor at Pepperdine University, television and podcast host, and author of Stop Self-Sabotage. An avid researcher and a two-time recipient of the National Institute of Mental Health Services Research Award, Dr. Judy maintains a private practice where she specializes in comprehensive neuropsychological evaluations and expert witness work. She is often called on by the media as an expert psychologist and is also a sought after public speaker for universities, businesses, and organizations.

Dr. Judy received her bachelor's degrees in Psychology and Business Administration from UC Berkeley, and her masters and doctorate from SDSU/UCSD Joint Doctoral Program in Clinical Psychology. She completed a National Institute of Mental Health sponsored fellowship at UCLA's Semel Institute.

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