Make Life Less Difficult

Matthew Thomas-Malani: Challenges of Coming Out in Religious Spaces


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My guest today is Matthew Thomas-Malani. 

Matt and I went to high school together and reconnected a few years ago on Facebook when I shared a recommendation for the movie, Boy Erased, staring Lucas Hedges.

Matt and I both grew up in religious communities that taught being gay was  wrong -- a sin.  As I have declared I no longer subscribe to those teachings, I've had people from that community respond quite harshly and critically.  Imagine how much more difficult it is for someone to come out as gay in such an environment, as was Matt's experience.

I'm so grateful for Matt's willingness to share pieces of his coming our journey.  Today, Matt is happily married to Tony Brooks.  Matt and Tony live in a carriage house in Pennsylvania with their three dogs -- Thacher, a treeing walker coonhound, and the beagle brothers, Franklin and Zebulon.  Matt is a voracious reader, mostly of non-fiction and he loves good movies and certain sitcoms (with irreverent humor).  He loves to cook and bake, although he says he's a better cook than baker.

If you or someone you know is struggling with their coming out journey, here are some resources for support and encouragement. 

Connect with Matt on Facebook.

Books:

  • It Gets Better
  • Now That You Know: A Parents' Guide to Understanding Their Gay and Lesibian Children, by Nancy Hayward
  • Is It a Choice? by Eric Marcus
  • God and the Gay Christian: The Biblical Case in Support of Same-Sex Relationships by Matthew Vines
  • Out of the Shadows: Reimagining Gay Men's Lives, by Walk Odets

Support and Resources:

  • The Trevor Project: 24/7/365 support in the US
  • Trevor Space: International Digital Support Community for LGBTQ+ young people
  • Befrienders Worldwide: Find a helpline by Country
  • Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays: PFLAG.org
  • Suicide Hotlines by Country
  • It Gets Better Project:  The It Gets Better Project inspires people across the globe to share their stories and remind the next generation of LGBTQ+ youth that hope is out there, and it will get better.
  • Human Rights Campaign
  •  Sage USA: Advocacy for LGBT Elders
  •  Matthew Shepard Foundation
  • Out & Equal Workplace Advocates


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