The child everyone praises is sometimes the child I’m quietly worried about.

You know the one - sensible, helpful, mature for their age and never any trouble. Adults love these children.

I know because I used to work with one. She was thoughtful, responsible and always thinking about everyone else. But when I asked her a simple question - “What would you like?” - she couldn’t answer.

Not because she was shy. Because she’d become so good at noticing everyone else’s needs that she’d lost touch with her own.

In this week’s Parent Pause, I’m exploring the difference between maturity and parentification. Between a child growing into responsibility and a child carrying burdens that don’t belong to them.

Here’s the troubling thing: children who are carrying too much often don’t look troubled. They often look successful. And perhaps that’s the question worth asking: Does this child have somewhere they get to be small? Somewhere they don’t have to hold it all together. Somewhere they can be cared for instead of caring for everyone else. Every child needs that. Perhaps especially the ones who seem not to.

Thank you for pausing with me. Take care.

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