The children who seem most settled aren’t usually the ones with the fullest diaries or the most exciting lives.

They’re often the children who know they have a place. Who know they matter.

This week I’m wondering whether one of the greatest gifts we can give our children isn’t another activity or opportunity, but the chance to discover that someone can rely on them.

Thank you for pausing with me.

Take care.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

“Get a pet!” I surprised myself when those words came out of my mouth. But it made sense.

This week I’m reflecting on a little boy, a puppy, and the unexpected way that being responsible for another living thing helped him see himself differently.

Perhaps children don’t just need us to care for them. Perhaps they need someone to care for too.

Thank you for pausing with me.

Take care.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

I’ve been wondering whether one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is the chance to be useful.

Watching two children help without being asked made me realise they weren’t just doing jobs. They were discovering that they mattered, that they had something to contribute.

I wonder if that’s one of the hidden ingredients of confidence - not constantly being looked after, but knowing someone can rely on you.

Thank you for pausing with me.

Take care.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

I’ve been wondering whether we spend so much time asking children what they want that we forget to help them discover something just as important - what they have to offer.

This week I’m reflecting on why contributing to family and community isn’t just good for everyone else, it might be one of the things that helps children feel they truly belong.

Thank you for pausing with me.

Take care.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

Could we be giving our children too much choice?

I know that sounds like a strange question. We want our children to have a voice, to know what they like, and to make good decisions. But lately I’ve been wondering whether we’ve confused giving children choices with asking them to carry too many.

Sometimes the greatest gift isn’t another option. It’s the relief of knowing the adults have it covered.

I’d love you to pause with me for a few minutes and see what you think.

Thank you for pausing with me.

Take care.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

What if we’re asking our children the wrong question?

I found myself overhearing a family in a café recently. They were warm, patient and clearly devoted to their children. But almost every conversation began with the same question: “What do you want?”

It made me wonder whether we’ve turned childhood into a search for preferences, instead of helping children discover what matters to them - and what they might bring to the world.

I’d love you to pause with me for a few minutes and see what you think.

Thank you for pausing with me.

Take care.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

I know... it sounds like a ridiculous thing to say. But I’ve been wondering whether confidence is really what we’re hoping for, or whether we’ve confused it with something much deeper.

This week I’ve been thinking about the quiet children, the thoughtful children, and what real confidence actually looks like.

It might not be what we think.

Thank you for pausing with me.

Take care.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

What if our children don’t need confidence? What if they just need to borrow ours?

I’ve been thinking about the girls who linger on the threshold of our groups, wanting to come in but not quite ready. They remind me that confidence isn’t always something children have, sometimes it’s something they borrow from the adults who quietly believe they’ll get there in their own time.

I’d love you to pause with me for a few minutes and see what you think.

Thank you for pausing with me.

Take care.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

What if we’ve been chasing the wrong thing?

We all say we want confident children but lately I’ve been wondering whether confidence has become the wrong goal altogether.

Watching a little girl halfway up a tree made me stop and think about what children really need from us when they’re unsure.

Perhaps confidence isn’t where the story begins. Perhaps it is what grows afterwards.

Thank you for pausing with me.

Take care.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

What if the best thing you could give your child this summer is... boredom?

I know that sounds like a strange thing to say. We all reach for screens sometimes - I’ve done it too. But I’ve been wondering what happens when the digital babysitter never goes home. In this Parent Pause, I’m thinking about boredom, creativity and why those empty moments our children complain about might actually be where the most important growing happens.

Thank you for pausing with me. Take care.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe