What if you don’t bounce back from a wobble - but instead you wobble back?

That’s what I’m thinking about in this Parent Pause. The idea that resilience isn’t about snapping back to who you were before as quickly and invisibly as possible. It’s about becoming someone slightly different because of what you’ve been through. Softer, braver, more honest about your limits.

In this audio I talk about not having any great plan to fix ourselves. No analysing, no trying to get better. Just putting one foot in front of the other. And somewhere along the way my shoulders dropped, my breath slowed, and something inside me quietly shifted. That’s how it often works. Not through effort, but through tiny acts of care, through being in our bodies, through letting time and space do their work.

I also reflect on how important it is that our children see this. That when we wobble, we don’t disappear or fall apart in ways that scare them. We show them that it’s possible to take responsibility for finding our way back - with a walk, a cup of tea, a cry, a friend, a moment of rest.

This isn’t about rushing yourself into being fine. It’s about listening for what helps you feel a little more like you again. Because real resilience is not loud or impressive. It’s gentle. It’s you slowly coming home to yourself.

Thank you for pausing with me. Take care.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

Have you ever had a day that looks absolutely fine on the outside - emails answered, kids delivered, washing on - and then one tiny thing tips you over and you’re suddenly on the floor wondering how you got there?

That’s what this Parent Pause is about. Those quiet wobbles that stack up without us noticing, until something small makes us collapse in a way that feels totally out of proportion. Not because we’re weak - but because we’ve been carrying too much for too long.

I talk about what happens when our children see us wobble - not in a scary way, not with oversharing - but in a human way. How naming that we’re overwhelmed, and reassuring them it’s not their fault, teaches them that feelings are survivable and that asking for a pause is allowed.

This isn’t about fixing yourself or pushing through. Resilience isn’t about holding it all together at any cost, but about letting ourselves soften and stop before we explode. It’s about getting curious instead of judgemental. Asking, what’s too heavy right now? What might help lighten the load? Because wobbles aren’t a failure. They’re your nervous system asking for care.

If you’ve been feeling a bit unsteady lately, this one might land.

Thank you for pausing with me. Take care.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

This week’s Parent Pause is about those quiet, easily missed moments when something inside us slips a few inches sideways and we’re suddenly a bit off-centre. Not falling apart. Not in crisis. Just not quite ourselves. And because life with children is so full, so noisy, so demanding, we can walk around like that for days without really noticing.

In this audio I talk about how we spot those wobbles in ourselves before they turn into something louder. How our bodies often know long before our heads catch up. And how, when we’re parenting, it’s so easy to keep pushing on - making lunches, answering emails, being competent - while something inside us is quietly asking for a pause.

And then what helps us find our way back. Not with a big fix or a shiny solution, but with something much smaller and more human.

This isn’t about trying to be endlessly resilient or getting yourself back on track as fast as possible. It’s about learning to notice when you’re wobbling, and treating that wobble as information rather than failure.

If you’re feeling a bit not-quite-right, but can’t really explain why, this one’s for you.

Thank you for pausing with me. Take care.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

Can I say something slightly heretical? Less stuff isn’t always the answer. If you’re living in a house that feels full to bursting with children’s things, your partner’s things and your own, this Parent Pause is an invitation to question the pressure to declutter our way to calm. I talk about how parenting isn’t a lifestyle aesthetic, and how the images we’re sold of serene, neutral family homes can quietly make us feel like we’re failing. I share a moment when I cleared out something that looked like rubbish to me but was precious to my child, and how that was devastating for my child. This is a reflection on agency, respect and being consulted, and on why what often matters more than having less stuff is helping our children build a conscious relationship with their things. If your house feels overfull right now, this pause is about asking a different question, not how to get rid of more, but how to live together with what’s already here.

Thank you for pausing with me. Take care.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

What if the mess isn’t the problem? What if it’s trying to tell us something. In this Parent Pause, I talk about the tyranny of children’s stuff - the piles, the chaos, the sense that the house is slowly filling up - and my resistance to becoming a sergeant major barking orders to tidy it all away. I explore the idea that our children are often telling us stories with their stuff, and that when we slow down and look for patterns, we can see something deeper. This is a reflection on curiosity instead of control, on noticing favourites and repetitions, and on how toys, clothes and books can help children process uncertainty and make sense of their world. It’s also about how sorting and letting go, when done with care, can become a meaningful and even poignant process rather than a battle.

Thank you for pausing with me. Take care.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

I want to start with a confession. Sometimes my children’s stuff makes me feel slightly panicky. Not because I’m a tidy person - I’m really not - but because when every surface is covered, it can feel like everywhere in the house is asking something of me. In this Parent Pause, I talk about that feeling of being pressed in by toys, clothes, half-made projects and plastic things with missing bits, especially at this time of year when even more stuff arrives. I reflect on why it isn’t really about tidiness at all, but about bandwidth - how when our lives are already full, too much stuff becomes one more demand. I share what helped when decluttering felt too harsh, including a simple experiment of putting half the toys and books away for a while, and how that brought unexpected calm for all of us. This is an invitation to stop mounting an offensive against the mess, and instead ask a gentler question about what the space actually needs to feel easier.

Thank you for pausing with me. Take care.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

A decision can change you before you ever make it; just that process of making a decision can change you. If you’re parenting with something big on your mind, this Parent Pause is an invitation to slow down and notice what making the decision itself is doing to you. In this audio I talk about how we so often focus on outcomes - the move, the job, the school, the yes or the no - and miss the quieter truth that the process of deciding is already shaping us. I share a time when a decision took me months, kept me awake at night, and by the time I chose, I wasn’t the same person I had been at the start. I was less certain, more reflective, and much more honest about my limits. This is a reflection on how our children learn not just from what we decide, but from how we decide, and why letting ourselves be seen as human, thoughtful and changed by life matters more than getting it “right”. If you’re in the middle of something big, this pause is for you.

Thank you for pausing with me. Take care.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

What if there isn’t a right answer? What if there never was. If you’re parenting with a decision circling your mind, hoping that one day it will suddenly become obvious, clean, and consequence-free, this Parent Pause is for you. I talk about the quiet pressure we put on ourselves to find the “best” choice, the one that doesn’t disappoint anyone, and how exhausting that is when you’re also raising children. I share a moment late at night, standing at the sink, overwhelmed by the realisation that whatever I chose, something would be lost, and how that became a growing-up moment for me. This is about letting go of the fantasy of certainty, about understanding that many decisions are simply choices with consequences, and about asking a different question - not what’s right, but what you can stand behind, even when it’s hard. It’s also about what our children learn when they see us live honestly with ambiguity.

Thank you for pausing with me. Take care.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

You know that feeling when a decision won’t leave you alone? It follows you through the school run, sits beside you while you’re chopping vegetables, hums quietly while you’re trying to be present. In this Parent Pause, I talk about what it’s like to parent when a big decision is living in your body, even if it’s not yet urgent. About how, as parents, we rarely get the luxury of stopping life to decide, and how that can quietly pull us away from our children without us even noticing. I share a moment when one of my children named that I was “here but not really here”, and how taught me something important. This is a reflection on why big decisions need space, why trying to solve them during family time often costs us more than we realise, and how learning to park them deliberately can help us be more present, not less. If you’re carrying a decision that’s quietly taking up bandwidth, this pause is for you.

Thank you for pausing with me. Take care.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

If you, or someone you know, is waiting to feel “back to normal” and wondering why it’s taking so long, this Parent Pause is for you.

I want to talk about the getting-back part of a wobble - rather than the wobble itself. Resilience isn’t a personality trait you either have or don’t have, and it’s also not about how quickly you can snap back or pull yourself together.

Resilience is about noticing the small, quiet signs that you’re returning to yourself. Laughing a little more. Sleeping slightly better. Wanting to cook again. Finding the ordinary less heavy. The kind of progress that doesn’t announce itself and doesn’t move in a straight line.

So rather than asking, “When will I feel better?” we can start asking a gentler question: “What are the tiny signs that I already am?” Because resilience often lives in these small movements, not the big breakthroughs.

If you’re in a wobbly patch, this Pause is a reminder that you don’t need to rush, force, or fix yourself. You’re allowed to come back slowly, quietly, and in your own time.

Thank you for pausing with me. Take care.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe