What if trying to be a ‘good parent’ is the very thing slowing your recovery?

I’ve been ill for a couple of weeks, and I’ve caught myself doing something so familiar - trying to parent well while feeling dreadful. Still tidying, still sorting, still pushing myself to be patient and present… and all it’s done is delay my getting better.

Much better, when we’re ill, is if we can let everything extra drop away. The smoothing, the managing, the holding it all together. And what’s left isn’t polished - but it is honest. Iinstead of performing good parenting, we could do something much simpler. Tell the truth.“I’m not feeling well today.”“I might be quieter.”“I might not be as patient.”

And in that, our children see something they can actually trust. That being a parent doesn’t mean being endlessly resourced. It means being real - and still caring. And strangely, that can bring them closer. It gives them space to notice us, to step up a little, to meet us differently.

So if you’re ill and not showing up as your best self - you’re not failing. You’re showing them what it looks like to be human, and still in relationship. And that might be far more valuable than doing everything well.

Thank you for pausing with me. Take care.

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