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Once you have self-awareness and the ability to self-manage, the third pillar of social awareness naturally comes up in emotional intelligence and leadership. In my opinion, I think this evolution flows perfectly because you work on being self-aware, self-managing, and now, you look to your surroundings to learn about your social awareness. So, what does social awareness mean? Social awareness means "the ability to take the perspective of and empathize with others, including those from diverse backgrounds and cultures. The ability to understand social and ethical norms for behavior and to recognize family, school, and community resources and supports." OK, phew, that's a long definitely, so what does that mean to you and me?

In my opinion, this is the empathy portion of the program with emotional intelligence. I know, I write and talk about empathy all the time. But, hopefully, you see now that it is completely woven into everything we do as people but especially, as successful leaders. To have a high EQ, we must be empathetic. How do we become empathetic? We have social awareness. Social awareness allows us to do exactly what we talk about with empathy. It encourages us to have the ability to understand people from a different sex, race, culture, age, you name it. Does this mean that you will ever really know what it is like to be them? No, not in my opinion but that's not the point. It's the ability to see and feel what it would be like for you. That's the point and the power.

In addition, social awareness not only focuses on empathy, it allows proves that you have the ability to understand the social things that are going on in your ecosystem. When this is applied to leadership, we are talking about your work environment. The more aware you are of these social norms or behaviors the higher your EQ. And why would that be important? Because as a leader, it gives you the ability to better navigate your organization in a positive and well-informed way to better serve your people (yes, as a servant leader).

I'm sure this all sounds great and idealistic, but you may be wondering, "how do I become a socially aware leader?" Or, maybe you think you ARE a socially aware leader but you want to sharpen your skills even more which is great. In my opinion, all four of the pillars that I am discussing about emotional intelligence are areas that a great leader will continue to develop throughout her or his career. As we know, learning leaders are the best leaders as we never stopping listening, growing, and striving for more for our people and ourselves. So, how do we do this in the aspect of becoming more and more socially aware in leadership?

Listen, read and connect here: https://mayapinionpodcast.com/

It's an exciting Women for Women Wednesday here on MaYapinion as I sit down with Nichole and Sarah from Netflix's hit show, Marriage or Mortgage? Both of these incredible women are leaders in their industry and I could not wait to sit down and chat with them. Nichole is passionate about investing in a home and beginning to make memories with the right financial start. She has had the big wedding in the past and she is much more practical now. That's what makes her such a fantastic realtor. Sarah believes in the fairytale and is happily married herself for over eleven years. In my opinion, that's what makes her so passionate and excellent at wedding planning and bringing a couple's dream day come to life.

Even though Sarah and Nichole have completely different opinions of what a couple should choose when investing when first starting out, they have an incredible working relationship and friendship. I really enjoyed hearing about their differences and how they respect one another in this environment. It completely shines through on their show on Netflix, Marriage or Mortgage. If you haven't watched it, it's time to binge it. Spoiler alert: you will be surprised nonstop about the choices that are made... I hope you enjoy hearing their opinions, and of course, my opinion too!

You can work with them and follow them here:

Sarah Miller:

https://www.instagram.com/southernvineco/

https://southernvineco.com/

Nichole Holmes

https://www.instagram.com/nicholeholmesrealty/

Watch them on Marriage or Mortgage on Netflix

The second pillar in emotional intelligence is self-management. When I hear that term, it personally makes me feel like "can you keep it together?" or "how emotionally mature are you"? And, that's actually what it does mean in some regards. The exact definition of self-management is "management of or by oneself; the taking of responsibility for one's own behavior and well-being." But, we are diving a bit deeper here and looking at in regards to emotional intelligence.

There are a few components when exploring self-management that I'd like for you to think about, especially regarding emotional intelligence. The first in my opinion is the ability of emotional self-control and how well do you control your feelings and/or expressing them in an appropriate way. That is really the key skill. Have you ever worked for someone who literally flies off the handle about everything? That individual lacks self-management (and also, not self-aware which is why being self-aware is the first pillar).

As a leader, it is imperative that you know how to express your emotions in an appropriate way. I often share with all of you that I have made a lot of mistakes as a leader. You will too and you should and you should not be afraid too. Self-management and the emotional component are areas where mistakes will be made. I remember several times when I lost my cool because I had a temper to be reckoned with in my twenties. I had an assistant manager that was late. I will tell you that he will be late to his own funeral one day. I completely lost it on him one day. I was young and he was older than me but not by much. We were even friends which was somewhat of the problem. I will never forget his eyes staring back at me in shock. I screamed at him that I was tired and burnt out and all I asked that you show up on time. I could tell he felt terrible. I felt worse, but why?

I felt worse because I was emotionally immature as a leader and there was a lack of self-management. If there is no self-management, how can you effectively manage others? I had completely lost touch with how upset these things happening within my environment where making me and I lashed out in the wrong way, in the wrong setting and at the wrong time. I made a mistake. I learned. I got better at it. Emotional self-control is the most challenging aspect hands down within self-management though because you will be challenged your whole life as a leader with it.

In my opinion, a good "self-manager" as I like to call it has these characteristics: self-motivated, transparent/honest, trustworthy, adaptable resilient, and optimistic (hope for the best, prepare for the worst). Why? Well, I could probably write a few blog posts on this topic because this pillar is important for leaders. After becoming self-aware, you are then able to tone your skills and put them in action with these characteristics. In my opinion, self-management is the self-action that occurs. For example, I had to make a tough decision when I lost my brother as a leader. I had to reach into my self-awareness but truly, my self-management. I was not able to control my feelings or emotions in a way that was professional. I would go to work and shut the door and stare at a wall. I could not even tell you to this day what I wore to work. I did not wear a stitch of make-up. I know there were days I did not shower. I was not capable of self-management because I was not being honest with those around me either about how bad the pain was and I was unable to adapt to this new normal. And was I optimistic about anything? You have to be kidding me. I thought the world had ended. That's when I finally fell back to myself awareness and resigned from a job at thirty years old that I had worked my ass off to get. But, I knew that I was being a better leader for it, because I was being honest, transparent, and in control of my emotions for the first time in weeks. That is self-management.

Welcome back to Motivation Monday!

Many people believe that self-awareness is the foundation for emotional intelligence. I think it is not only the foundation for EQ but also, it's essentially the ability to truly know yourself as an individual and a leader. In my opinion, it seems that we all like to believe that we are self-aware but are we really? Well, there was a study done about this exact topic pertaining to leadership. When asking leaders if they believed if they were self-aware over 90% of them answered "yes." However, when they were tested on how self-aware they truly were, only 10% were actually self-aware. Does this surprise you?

The results from the study were not shocking to me but they definitely inspired me to write about this topic and podcast about self-awareness again. I think we believe just because we recognize some aspects about ourselves that are negative and are willing to share them then we believe that we are self-aware. It seems that sometimes we believe that vulnerability equals self-awareness. I personally do not believe that to be true but I do not believe that you can be self-aware without being vulnerable. But, just because you are vulnerable, does not mean you are self-aware

Another great way to learn about yourself and become even more self-aware are assessments. I enjoy giving these to my teams and sharing my own as well because then they know my strengths and areas of opportunities and vice-versa. The bonus to this practice is that it helps you build a well-rounded team. There are a lot of personality tests out there but one I am huge fan of is the DISC test. I find the accuracy of this test to be high for myself but for everyone that I have known to take the test. These types of tests are objective (if you answer honestly) and will also increase your ability to be self-aware.

Join me in this episode to learn about effective ways to learn how to be more self-aware and improve as a leader, all in my opinion.

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Maya

https://mayapinionpodcast.com/

Welcome back to another great episode of Women for Women Wednesday! This week, I am joined by Kerry Guard, COO of MKG Marketing. We talk about a lot of leadership topics but we specifically get right into remote teams. Kerry built her business with her business partner on the basis of having a remote team, and her team is still remote ten years later. She was truly cutting edge in my opinion. She talks about how you can maintain a successful work culture while continuing to be productive and grow.

We also talked about tactical empathy as this is something she lives and breathes by in her company. You know how passionate I am about empathy so it was important that I speak to her about this value. She talks about how important it is to not just say that we understand but show that we understand. That's true tactical empathy.

Here's a bit more about Kerry and where to find her:

Kerry Guard (she/her) is a mom of twins - boy and a girl. She understands what work life balance really looks like and is on a mission to build a company that honors parents having a career and a life. She's out to prove you really can have both with policies like ensuring 20 days of vacation each year, no client emails after 6PM or weekends, unlimited sick days, and everyday flexibility.

She also hosts a podcast, which brings eight digital marketing experts to your ears every quarter. Each episode explores a new approach to help you, Marketing Leader, grow your business. Tune in.

https://mkgmarketinginc.com/about/digital-marketing-experts/kerry-guard/

Website: https://mkg.marketing

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kerryguard/

Podcast episode she refers to at the end: https://mkgmarketinginc.com/blog/podcasts/performance-equals-potential-interference/

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Maya

https://mayapinionpodcast.com/

Welcome back to Motivation Monday! I am kicking off my new series talking about Emotional Intelligence. In my opinion, empathy is the water that gives life to leadership, but emotional intelligence is the food that gives growth to leadership. So, it's only appropriate that we talk about emotional intelligence next.

In this episode, I define what emotional intelligence actually is and why it is important in leadership. I also talk about the four pillars of emotional intelligence as we will be discussing them and how they apply to leadership over the next couple weeks. I am really excited to be discussing these topics as you are the inspiration behind them. Let me know what you think about EQ or emotional intelligence. I always love to know your opinion too.

If you haven't already, make sure you check out my blog that coordinates with my Motivation Monday episodes each week!

https://mayapinionpodcast.com/what-is-emotional-intelligence-in-leadership/

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Maya

We are back with another incredible and inspiring guest. She's another Atlantan but she's originally from South Africa, Kim Normand Dobrin! Kim has an incredible background with so many accomplishments. As most of you know, I am extremely passionate about non-profit work and so is Kim. Join me in this episode as Kim shares her journey and successes and talks about her current passion, Free the Mind Co. You'll also have to have some compassion for me on this episode... I am dog mom and they were with me this day. No amount of editing can remove them from the excitement in the background about halfway through. Thanks for understanding and supporting me. I know Mom's out there really understand :-)

Here is more about Kim and how you can connect with her:

Kim Normand Dobrin has had a successful international career for over 30 years. Co-Founder/CEO – Free The Mind Co™ Milestones – Representing Survivors of the Shoah Visual History Institute – Founded by Steven Spielberg in South Africa for 18 yrs. Founding Director of the Apartheid Museum – Johannesburg South Africa Human Rights Commission for Education – Board Member Founder/CEO – Tolerance Foundation teaching over 70 000 children life skills based on history i.e. Apartheid; Holocaust; Rwanda; Kosovo until 2004 Founder – Tomorrow Trust – CEO for 14 yrs supporting orphan and vulnerable children/youth with holistic support and education to release them from the cycle of poverty – until 2019 Ashoka Fellow and has studied at Harvard Kennedy School of International Studies. Author of 3 best sellers in South Africa – Tomorrow; Raising Wisdom; A Mother's Legacy all raising over R3.9mill for Tomorrow Trust. Kim is co-author of an inspiring book range – Freeing Freddie the Dream Weaver & Revealing Freddie the Light Within. - Runner up of the South African Social Entrepreneur of the year award 2009 - Life Time Honory member of Golden Key - Winner of the Most Influential Women in Business and Government Welfare sector for 2009/2010 - Voted and chosen as top 4 in the Ernst & Young World Social Entrepreneur of the year award – 2011 - TED speaker - Awarded and Acknowledged by the State of California Legislature for Exceptional work done in uplifting children and youth 2012 - Winner of Exemplary Women Leadership Award 2013 - Winner of Global CSR Excellence & Leadership Award 2014 - Selected to attend Skoll World Forum at Oxford in 2014 & 2015 - Nominated for the Jewish Achiever Awards 2015 - Winner of Inspiring Fifty Awards 2017 – hosted by the Consul General of the Netherlands Kim is known for her passion and commitment to children, education, Social Emotional learning and teaching for both adults and youth. She has a strong belief in accessing and developing potential. Kim is a sought-after speaker and workshop facilitator.

Connect with Kim here:

[email protected]

www.freethemindco.com

http://www.kimnormanddobrin.com/

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Maya

https://mayapinionpodcast.com/

Servant Leadership is a term that is hot right now in the leadership space and thrown around a lot. However, I find it quite interesting that there is a lot of confusion about what it really means. We talk about this term often and the importance of Servant Leadership. Why is servant leadership important? And what does servant leadership actually mean?

Well, by definition, servant leadership "is a philosophy and set of practices that enriches the lives of individuals, builds better organization and ultimately creates a more just and caring world." Idealistically, all of that sounds great and wonderful, right? But, in my opinion, I think we need a clearer definition, a more, black and white definition of what this concept means. So, I believe that it means that it's the concept that a leader put him or herself last and his or her people before himself.

Join me this week as I share my opinion on Servant Leadership and I would love to hear yours! We also have a blog now as well!

https://mayapinionpodcast.com/blog/

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Maya

I am joined this week with another inspiring woman, Tal from "Tal's Tips." It is the perfect week to feature Tal as I was on her own podcast talking about my tips and I had to have her on MaYapinion to hear her story and her opinions, of course. Tal's story is interesting as she has just started her podcast in late 2020 and is currently building her brand quickly while continuing to work fulltime. I hope this story is inspiring to all of you who are thinking about starting that business, side hustle, podcast, or whatever your dream is! Tal is making it happen.

Here is a little more about Tal and how you can get in touch with her:

Talia Mervosh is the CEO & founder of Tal's Tips, an organization serving ambitious women through life coaching and personal development tactics. Tal is a Certified Professional Life Coach who holds a Master's degree in Educational Leadership and offers a variety of services for women seeking a lasting mindset shift, confidence reboot, or an overall lifestyle transformation. Tal has built a strong community of ambitious, committed, and growth-seeking women inside of her personal growth book club, "Unfolding Connections" and is also the creator and host of "Tal's Tips Empowerment Podcast", where she interviews amazing humans with inspiring stories to share. Her purpose and mission is to connect with others on a deeper level and guide you to live in alignment with your true soul's purpose. You can most likely find Tal hiking a trail with her husband and German Shepherd in Charlotte, NC!

Connect with Tal today at www.talstips.com or on Instagram @tals.tips

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Maya

https://mayapinionpodcast.com/

I feel that it is appropriate to end the empathy series talking about you. Yes, YOU. Because at the end of it all, it really comes down to you as the leader. Don't get me wrong, you are nothing without your team. In my opinion though, it is a chicken or the egg concept that arises in leadership. How can you truly build the team that you know will lead your concept, idea, product, branch, company, or whatever it is to success if you don't know yourself as a leader?

You are the true driver behind it all so join me in the final episode of the Motivation Monday series on empathy. I discuss in my opinion how important it is for every leader to know herself as an individual leader before ever taking on a team or building one. How can you do that before ever leading? Well in my opinion, we are all already leaders in our life everyday. Listen and find out why I think this... in my opinion.

Don't forget to subscribe, share, and of course, let us know your opinion too. Do you think that you are already the leader of your life?

https://mayapinionpodcast.com/you-empathy-series/

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Maya