MAYBE IT'S ME

My father was a dentist, so I was restricted to one sweet a day. But our house was stuffed with candies, cookies, cakes, ice cream, and other treats. That's the world we're all living in today ... filled with temptations that constantly assault us, even as we're advised to indulge only in moderation. Which is a good way to drive a person nuts. (Deliciously rich and perfectly salted nuts, coated in the richest, darkest chocolate ...)

Why would anyone give up a cushy summer job in an air-conditioned office for a sweaty marathon waiting tables at a busy Howard Johnson's ruled by a hard-hearted jerk of a manager? Why do so many of us, when we're figuring out who we are, envy the lives of our classmates, which seem so much more desirable than our own?

Why do we take so long to appreciate our parents for who they really are instead of scorning them for not being who we wish they were? Here's my version of a Father's Day tribute, a few weeks early ...

Dating is hell for everyone. But if you're a feminist in your sixties dating men in their seventies who mostly still view women the way they were taught to view them in the 1950s, you might find yourself wondering if you should spend New Year's Eve with a guy who claims to value you for your intelligence and independence, only to discover what he actually wants to do is tie you to the bed and punish you for being "naughty."

When I was young, my parents warned me against going anywhere alone. But how was I to accomplish anything I wanted to accomplish in this world if I stayed home ... or waited for some guy to accompany and protect me? Just as my parents feared, some pretty bad things happened. Today, we tell our daughters they can do anything a man can do. Yet the #MeToo movement has filled them with the same fears of sexual assault my parents instilled in me. What are young women supposed to do with all these contradictions?

Come with me as I hunt for my grandparents' graves in the wilds of Queens, NY ... and discover how close my grandmother might have come to being one of those young seamstresses who died in the Triangle Shirtwaist fire. Let's hear it for Jewish socialists like my grandfather, labor unions, and cemeteries!

My grandparents' engagement photos, Joshua on the left and Pauline on the right

What happens when you fall in love with someone whose countrymen your family views as enemies? What if that person wants you to visit his homeland, which your ancestors fled to get away from his ancestors? Bad enough an American Jew should travel with her Polish Catholic boyfriend to Poland; even worse if she gets deathly ill there.

What do you do if your kid doesn't want to follow the religion that means so much to you? What determines what kind of person your kid grows up to be--who they are at birth or how you try to raise them?

How did a Jewish cemetery end up inside a General Motors Cadillac plant? Why did the city seize the Detroit neighborhood that once surrounded that cemetery, demolish the houses, businesses, and churches in which the Polish Catholic, Jewish, and African American residents once lived and worked and prayed, and give the land to GM? And why were my parents so upset that I was in a relationship with one of the Polish Catholic guys who grew up in that neighborhood (not his parents were any too happy that he was dating ME)?

If you're interested, here's a link to the Chene Street Project that is mentioned in this episode, as well as its Facebook page.