A couple of months ago I went back and listened to the very first episode of this podcast. I wanted to remind myself of what it felt like to be at that starting point 18 months ago, realizing that I’ll never be somebody’s mother.

Honestly, I was surprised at how emotional it all was. So today, join me for a final reflection that brings season 2 to a close. And if you’ve been a part of Maybe Someday’s story, thank you.

• Support the show! Become a patron
• Follow Maybe Someday on Instagram
• This reflection's episode page

Bianetth Valdez was born and raised in Texas, straddling two cultures. As a Latina, she grew up believing that being a mother was what was expected of her, and she didn’t give it a second thought. But when she turned 25 she started to encounter women who were living fulfilling lives without kids, and she started questioning what she wanted for herself.

I loved hearing her unique perspective and think you will, too.

• Support the show! Become a patron
• Follow Maybe Someday on Instagram
• This reflection's episode page

Earlier this year Kerry Graham published an article on HuffPost called: No, I Don’t Want To Have Kids And I’m Tired Of Having To Explain Why Not.

Kerry reached out to me not long after she published the article, because she had a lot more to say about deciding not to have kids. 

We talked about how Kerry handled ambivalence about being childfree, and how she decided that she didn’t want to have kids. We also talked about her two big passions, teaching and writing, and how those passions led her to choose the life she already had. 

• Support the show! Become a patron
• Follow Maybe Someday on Instagram
• This reflection's episode page

If you’ve been around here for a while, you’ll know that I’m a big believer in celebrating everyone’s choices, no matter what they are. As long as you’re comfortable with your decision, or comfortable living with the question for a while, I’ll cheer you on.

So when Rosie Tran reached out to me to pitch a discussion about why being childfree should be everyone’s goal, I hesitated. My gut reaction was to be really skeptical and uncertain that this was the right kind of conversation for the show. But my curiosity won out, and we had a fascinating conversation.

• Support the show! Become a patron
• Follow Maybe Someday on Instagram
• This reflection's episode page

When I talk to people who are grappling with the decision not to have a kid, one of the worries I hear most often is about whether they’ll regret the decision when they get older. Will they feel they missed out on something? Who’ll look after them? What will their legacy be?

Because most of the conversations I have on this show are with people whose ‘fertility expiration date’ hasn’t yet passed, this isn’t a topic that we’ve covered in much depth. Except ,of course, as a hypothetical.

So for today’s episode I’m introducing you to Antonia Banewicz. Antonia shares the story of her unconventional upbringing, trying to make it as an actor in New York, and the choices she made about having kids. Now that Antonia’s in her sixties, she shares what it’s like to look back on those choices.

• Support the show! Become a patron
• Follow Maybe Someday on Instagram
• This reflection's episode page

Truly, in my eyes, every single one of my guests is extraordinary. But I have to tell you that Casey Jourdan, my guest this week, is remarkable.

At just 17 years old, she enlisted in the military. After graduating high school, she was deployed to Baghdad at the beginning of the Iraq war. Years later, she and her husband went through round after round of IVF.

On this episode we discuss surviving combat wounds and infertility. Casey is truly a fighter. If you’re trying to conceive or if you’re childfree, but not by choice, then I can’t recommend this episode enough.

• Support the show! Become a patron
• Follow Maybe Someday on Instagram
• This reflection's episode page

In 2004, Sasha Cagen wrote a book called Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics, based on a term she’d created to describe people who are comfortable being single but who want to be in a relationship and won’t settle for something (or someone) that doesn’t allow them to be who they truly are.

I first found Quirkyalone probably 10 years ago, and like most people who are drawn to Sasha’s book, I felt like someone finally understood me. 

So having Sasha on the show meant a lot  to me. 15 years after publication, Sasha opened up about her perspective on quirkyalone now, and how it relates to choosing to become a mother. We also talk about wisftulness about having children, confronting our fertility expiration date, climate change, and not settling for anything less than what you truly want.

• Support the show! Become a patron
• Follow Maybe Someday on Instagram
• This reflection's episode page

Laura Belgray (yes, THAT Laura Belgray) has a very happy life without kids. But she spent a long time on the fence deciding whether to have them—she wanted to want kids, but she just didn’t. Laura noticed that there weren’t a lot of examples of women who were living full, rich, happy lives without kids (except for, um, Helen Mirren), which made imagining a happy childfree life a lot harder. (Although Helen Mirren is a pretty great role model tbh)   So, Laura ended up becoming her own example of how to live a fun, happy life without kids.   Laura dishes about Grade 6 bullies, growing up in NYC, and agonizing about whether to have kids. Oh yeah, and she talks about what inspired her super-popular Mother's Day article on Medium. If you've followed Laura for a while, I think you'll hear a few new stories. Grab your headphones!

• Support the show! Become a patron
• Follow Maybe Someday on Instagram
• This reflection's episode page

I get scared sometimes about the state of the world. No matter which way I turn there’s hate and turmoil and corruption and climate disasters. It makes me think about what it must be like to bring a child into this moment in history. I think about the children in my life who are living through it, and I wonder what their future will look like. I wonder if there will be anything left for them.

So, this week on the show I chat with Rachael Levasseur about choosing not to bring a child into a bleak future. This topic doesn’t get nearly enough attention in the conversation around being childfree.

• Support the show! Become a patron
• Follow Maybe Someday on Instagram
• This reflection's episode page

 

These last few episodes have got me thinking about listening to your intuition, trusting your gut, and following your own path.   I used to believe that I didn’t really have much of a sense of intuition-that all my decisions could be made with logic and deliberation and pro and con lists. But that was a long time ago.   And I was dead wrong.   This week on the show, I'm sharing how I learned to trust myself. I hope this helps you to trust yourself, too. So that when the decisions comes to keep on going, or to make your own path, you'll choose the latter.

• Support the show! Become a patron
• Follow Maybe Someday on Instagram
• This reflection's episode page