Podcast: Making Biblical Family Life Practical with Hal & Melanie Young
Episode: Dealing With Conflict With Tweens and Teens (replay)

“Is it normal for a nine-year-old boy to be angry?”

In this episode, Hal and Melanie Young respond to a parent’s honest question—with a big backstory behind it. Family stress, pressure, and emotional overload can collide with early puberty changes and create what the Youngs call the “rage monster years.” The good news: while it can feel scary and personal, this season is often normal, predictable, and shepherdable.

You’ll learn how to respond biblically and practically when your tween or teen loses control—without escalating the conflict, losing your authority, or damaging the relationship.

Why hormonal emotional changes in boys often begin before physical changes are visible

How to recognize when your child’s anger is developmental vs. intensified by family stress

What to do when your tween/teen starts making wild accusations and blaming you for how they feel

Why parents must avoid “jumping on the roller coaster” and instead become the steady reference point

A practical step-by-step approach to conflict:

Stay calm

Pray immediately

Separate to cool down if needed

Listen first

Bring it to God’s Word

Address disrespect after they’re teachable

Why you “can’t discipline until they are teachable” (discipline as discipleship, not payback)

How modeling repentance and humility can increase respect, not reduce it

The long-term payoff: when you shepherd this stage well, the teen years can be sweet and strong

Many parents expect emotional turbulence to begin with obvious puberty markers—but the hardest emotional changes often come first. Knowing this ahead of time helps parents respond with clarity instead of fear.

When kids feel angry for reasons they don’t understand, they instinctively look for a “cause.” Parents become the easiest target. If you respond emotionally, you accidentally validate their narrative.

Hal and Melanie emphasize that you are the adult in the room. Your child may feel out of control, but they should not be allowed to run the home emotionally. You don’t need your child’s permission to parent—God gave you that responsibility.

Correcting disrespect matters—but punishment in the middle of an emotional spiral usually escalates the war. The goal is to cool the fire, remove the fuel, and wait until the child can actually receive instruction.

Listening doesn’t mean agreeing. It means showing your child they matter and that the relationship is secure. When you listen, you remove a common weapon: “You don’t care. You never listen.”

This episode reinforces that God’s Word carries more authority and power than parental frustration. A key reminder: “The wrath of man does not work the righteousness of God.” (James)

Shepherding a Child’s Heart — Ted Tripp

The Heart of Anger — Lou Priolo

This stage can be one of the hardest—especially when family stress is already high. But Hal and Melanie share hope from their own parenting journey: when you shepherd your kids through this time with steadiness, humility, and biblical clarity, you can build a stronger relationship that pays dividends through the teen years.

Find more episodes and resources at HalandMelanie.com
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