This is a rerun of episode 277 – you can find the original show notes here.

This week on Homeschool Highschool Podcast: Graduation Celebration Ideas.

Hey homeschoolers!

Welcome to the The Homeschool Sanity Show, where it’s all about less frustration and more confidence in your homeschool and parenting.

I’m your host, Dr. Melanie Wilson—Christian psychologist, homeschool mom, and author of story-based curriculum kids love.

And today, we’re talking about one of the biggest sources of frustration for homeschool parents…

👉 kids who don’t take initiative.

If you feel like:

this episode is for you.

Watch on YouTube

Because what looks like laziness or lack of motivation…
is usually something else entirely.

Let’s dive in.

I want to start today with a question that might feel a little too familiar.

Have you ever thought:

“Why do I have to tell my kids everything?” “Why can’t they just see what needs to be done?” “Why don’t they start their work without me reminding them…again?”

If that’s you, you’re not alone.

In fact, it’s one of the most common frustrations we have as homeschool parents…and it’s it’s exhausting.

Because when kids don’t take initiative, what happens?

👉 You become the manager of everything. 👉 You carry the mental load. 👉 And you start to feel like if you don’t say it… it won’t get done.

That’s frustrating.

But what if I told you that a lack of initiative isn’t necessarily a character problem?

It may be a skills problem.

And that’s actually good news for us.

Let’s define initiative in a simple way.

Initiative means:

👉 Noticing what needs to be done—and acting. Without being told.

Now, when we define it that way, we can start to see why our kids struggle.

Because initiative actually requires several underlying skills:

Awareness (noticing what needs to be done) Planning (knowing what step to take next) Motivation (getting started) Confidence (believing they can do it)

If any one of those is missing… initiative breaks down.

Here’s where it gets tricky for us as parents. When kids don’t take initiative, it feels like:

But much of the time?

They’re overwhelmed… unsure… or simply untrained.

And when we interpret it as defiance, we respond with:

Which—unfortunately—doesn’t build initiative. It actually shuts it down.

I had kids who didn’t take initiative to clean. I spent time teaching them how to clean but didn’t teach them to notice when something needed to be cleaned. It seemed like they should just know. But the truth is, they weren’t thinking about the value of a clean house like I was. They were likely thinking about games, sports, and friends. If I had it to do over again, I would have taught them to notice when something needed to be cleaned or put away and I would have given ample rewards to motivate them in the beginning.

I also had a kid who did take initiative, but not in the way I wanted. Without telling me, my teen called the tennis coach of our local high school and asked what was required for him as a homeschooler to be on the team. That’s something we often forget to teach our kids. Initiative isn’t just “do whatever you think is best.”

It’s: 👉 notice 👉 act 👉 and ask if you need permission

I made it clear that my son should have asked first. He did end up being on the tennis team. And his initiative was a blessing when it came to applying for college scholarships. He handled the whole process.

But many kids wait to be told what to do. Why?

Here are a few common reasons:

1. They don’t know what “done” looks like

If expectations aren’t crystal clear, kids hesitate.

2. They’ve been corrected a lot

If they’ve heard “That’s not how I wanted it,” they may stop trying.

3. They feel overwhelmed

When everything feels big, they don’t know where to start.

4. They’re used to being directed

If we’ve always told them what to do, they haven’t practiced deciding.

So what can we do to help our kids build initiative muscles? Let me give you a few practical strategies.

1. Make the invisible visible

Instead of assuming they “should know,” say:

“Here’s what I would notice in this situation…”

You’re training their awareness.

2. Start small

Initiative grows with success.

Instead of: “Take care of your schoolwork,”

Try: “What’s the first thing you can do right now?”

3. Allow imperfect action

If we correct everything, kids stop initiating.

Let some things be “good enough.”

(This is hard for us perfectionists—but powerful.)

4. Ask instead of tell

Instead of: “Go start your work,”

Try: “What do you think should be done next?”

Now our child is planning, not just obeying.

5. Notice initiative when it happens

Even small things.

“I noticed you got started on your math without being reminded.”

That builds identity: 👉 “I’m someone who takes initiative.”

Here’s the shift I hope you take away today:

Instead of asking:

“What’s wrong with my child?”

Ask:

“What skill is missing?”

That question changes your tone. It changes your response. And it changes your child’s experience.

If this is an area your child struggles with I want to give you something to help.

I’ve just completed Level 3 of Training Aliens, a fun, story-based curriulum that teaches kids social and emotional skills. I want to send you the lesson on initiative for free.

This lesson is designed to:

teach kids what initiative actually is give them a story-based example they’ll remember and help them practice it in a simple, concrete way

Instead of lectures, kids learn through: 👉 stories 👉 modeling 👉 and practice

You can grab that free lesson in the product description here:

If you enjoy it, be sure to take advantage of launch pricing for Level 3 this week. Or grab the discounted bundle of all three levels, allowing you to choose the skills your kids need to work on first. These materials are a wonderful summer course for your kids.

If you’re feeling frustrated right now, I want you to hear this:

Your child’s lack of initiative is not a fixed trait.

It’s a skill that can be taught.

And you don’t have to carry the whole load forever.

With the right tools and a little patience, you can move from:

👉 constant reminding to 👉 growing independence

And that leads to exactly what we all want:

Less frustration… and more confidence.

Thanks for joining me today for the Homeschool Sanity Show, a production of the Ultimate Homeschool Radio Network.

Have a happy homeschool week!

Goldilocks Discipline

Consistent Chores

This week on Homeschool Highschool Podcast: Homeschool Heroes with Krisa Winn.

 As you know, there’s not ONE right way to homeschool, and there’s not ONE kind of homeschooler! One of the loveliest things about homeschooling is that our unique teens who learn in unique ways and find their own unique success.

That’s why we are so excited to talk to Krisa Wynn from Sped Homeschool and Homeschool Heroes. SPED and Homeschool Heroes have been serving homeschooling families with children who learn differently for years. We interviewed Peggy Ployhar, founder of SPED in these episodes:

Krisa works with Peggy Ployhar at Homeschool Heroes/SPED Homeschool. Her homeschool story starts long ago.

Even as a child, Krisa knew she wanted to be a teacher when she grew up. She earned her college degree and became a classroom teacher for over twenty years, teaching in both public and private Christian schools.

The other thing Krisa always knew she wanted was to be a mom. She got married at age nineteen to the sweetheart she met in Bible school. However, they were unable to have children until they had been married for 21 years.

Krisa continued to teach until her second child was born. It was then that her husband said, “Krisa, you’ve been teaching everybody else’s kids for 20 years. It’s time for you to teach our own.”

It was then that the opportunity came for Krisa to work part-time for HSLDA. She loved helping the homeschool families with diverse learners while she homeschooled her own children. Then she met Peggy Ployhar of SPED Homeschool. There she has helped Peggy set up Homeschool Heroes and other programs as SPED Homeschool.

At SPED Homeschool (along with Homeschool Heroes), homeschooling families with learning differences can:

Krisa reminds us:

One reason we are homeschooling is to give our children everything they need to fulfill who God made them to be.

Sometimes parents need some help discerning what their homeschoolers need. That’s where MindPrint Assessment comes in.

Mindprint is an online tool that is in the form of a series of games. It is not a standardized test; rather, the assessment measures the child’s reasoning skills, verbal reasoning, visual reasoning, executive function, and memory skills. The assessment highlights the student’s strengths and weaknesses. Then it offers links to support for the student’s unique needs.

Periodically, SPED offers Homeschool Curriculum Discovery Day (this year it is May 8th). On that day, from 9:00 until 2:00 CT, every 15 minutes they will present a different publisher that offers curriculum options for learners with differences. The publisher teaches a lesson based on something in the curriculum.

Krisa, Peggy, and the team at SPED Homeschool do not want you to feel like you are alone or that there’s any reason to despair. You can do this, they wanna connect you with people who can help you do it.

Check out the work of SPED Homeschool/Homeschool Heroes and join us for this encouraging conversation.

Check the how-to blog posts at 7SistersHomeschool.com, such as:

You will love the encouragement in these Homeschool Highschool Podcast interviews:

Thank you to Seth Tillman for editing this episode.

Mother’s Day Gifts, aka “What Mom Really Wants,” is the topic for today’s podcast. As a long-time mom – my first child was born in 1980 – I’ve had some experience *WINK* celebrating Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day has been a time of joy and, truthfully a time of hardship! We moms want to be grateful for whatever we have. While this is true, and I am grateful, I’ve also struggled. Listen as I share some tips for the best Mother’s Day gifts ever, and be sure to subscribe to the Vintage Homeschool Moms podcast!

This episode is brought to you by CTCMath.com – a wonderful math curriculum for all of your homeschool needs, or to brush up on new skills.

Episode 271

Homeschool Lifestyle

I’m including something personal at the end — so stay tuned for Mother’s Day Gifts that I now learn to except and enjoy!

I’ve had some exhausting Mother’s Days! When my children were little, I was sleep deprived, and I don’t do well with little sleep. I’m not one of those people that thrives on four hours or less and feels so productive. No, I’m the crash and burn Mom who would fall asleep while nursing my baby in the middle of the day. When baby number two came along, baby number one was a wild-man two-year-old, and he kept me awake in the day, so no worries about falling asleep! At least baby number one was sleeping through the night, and two, well, let’s say she finally slept all night at age four!

Then came numbers three, four, and five. A larger home, and guess what? Our home turned into a party central. All of the family came for Mother’s Day dinner, and somehow my day turned into a frustration for all. The kids and my husband had to help clean up, I had to cook, and everything had to be perfect when the first mom came! I finally became wise and learned that with these easy tips, I could reclaim my Mother’s Day! First of all, I had to think about what I really wanted to do. Did I want to go out to a costly meal? Did I want a gift that we couldn’t really afford? Did I want to stress my husband and kids by wondering, “What does mom really want for Mother’s Day?

Those precious handwritten cards with “Mommy, I love you!” are the ultimate best!

Mother’s Day gift selection for me from my family was not working! After years of costly presents, presents that didn’t fit, household items I didn’t want, and the worse, costly flower bouquets ordered and delivered by the florist–have you seen how much they cost?! I said enough! We needed to cut back financially and it was getting so out of hand. It all came to a head, after the following event.

One Mother’s Day, after church and breakfast, my husband decided to take the three younger children fishing. Our subdivision has many small ponds and drainage streams/ ditches where fish abound. He was doing this to give me “alone time.” As I sat with my feet propped up, enjoying my day, my older son came home and looked smug. I knew something was up! Later I learned from the little kids–you’ve gotta love them; they can’t keep a secret–“Dad called up Neal and asked him to buy and bring us flowers — your Mother’s Day gift — to us– at the pond! Isn’t that great Mom?” So much for secrets. I certainly gave flower delivery an entirely different spin!

Yes, as my husband walked in to hand me flowers! A gift. And I was grateful, especially for the smaller price tag, but I decided that day…it’s now or never time to take charge of my own Mother’s Day gift!

Podcast: Making Biblical Family Life Practical
Hosts: Hal & Melanie Young
Network: Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network

Struggling to get your son to read? You’re not alone—and you’re not without options.

In this episode, Hal and Melanie Young tackle a question many homeschool parents are asking:
👉 How do you help boys enjoy reading—and choose books that actually build character?

From practical strategies to specific book recommendations, this conversation explores how to move boys from reluctant readers to engaged learners—without lowering standards or sacrificing values.

Some educators and librarians so are desperate to get boys to read something, anything, that they’ll turn a blind eye to any but the most objectionable material. “Well, at least they’re reading,” they’ll say. Yet deep down, we all know that the junky material we use to get them to read is likely to give them a taste for … more junk. This week, we’ll talk about a few reasons your son may not like to read much now, and give you some real suggestions for solid, wholesome, challenging, and educational books that your son will love.

Boys are far more likely to value reading when they see it modeled at home—especially by dads.

Reading junk just to get them reading isn’t the goal.

Just like nutrition matters for the body, quality literature matters for the mind and character.

Audiobooks:

Boys often gravitate toward:

👉 Tip: If your son has a hobby, get books about it.

High-stimulation activities (video games, streaming) can:

Even if they aren’t reading independently yet:

If your child struggles with reading:

Looking for a math program that actually teaches for understanding?

Check out CTC Math
✔ K–12 curriculum
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Start by connecting reading to his interests—action, adventure, or hands-on topics—and reduce screen distractions.

Determine whether it’s a skill issue or an interest issue. Use audiobooks and engaging topics to bridge the gap.

Yes—especially for building comprehension, vocabulary, and a love of story while skills catch up.

Boys often prefer:

Helping boys love reading isn’t about forcing it—it’s about:

When you do that, reading becomes less of a battle… and more of a doorway.

Some Resources You Might Find Helpful

Staying connected across the miles doesn’t have to mean just phone calls. In this episode, Meryl shares five practical ways grandchildren and grandparents can build real relationships digitally — with the bonus that several of these also sneak in genuine learning.

If you use any of these ideas, come join the conversation in the Homeschooling with Technology Community on Facebook and let us know which ones your family enjoyed most!

Subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss any episodes!

Have you ever wondered if you’ve gotten discipline wrong — been too strict, too lenient, or somehow both in the same day? If so, you’re in good company. In this episode, I’m tackling one of the most common fears I hear from homeschool parents: the fear that your approach to discipline may have already done damage. I want to reassure you right from the start — it is not too late.

Why We End Up at the Extremes

Most of us were never taught how to discipline in a balanced way. Instead, we’re reacting to what we experienced growing up — either repeating it or trying hard to avoid it. Parents who grew up with harsh discipline often swing toward being too permissive. Those who submitted to strict parenting to avoid conflict may find themselves doing the same with their own strong-willed child.

Fear is the second big reason we swing between extremes — sometimes in the same afternoon. We ask ourselves:

That fear comes from love. But it’s also based on a belief that isn’t entirely true. Yes, our parenting has a real developmental impact — but children are far more resilient and forgiving than we’ve been led to believe. They learn, they adapt, and they respond to change.

A third reason we stay stuck at the extremes is that they seem to work in the moment. Counting to three or giving in to avoid a meltdown produces short-term compliance — but it doesn’t build character or create lasting change.

The Just Right Approach

There is a better way, and it doesn’t require perfection. The Just Right approach to discipline is built on four qualities:

One of the simplest ways to prioritize connection is through individual time. With six kids, I couldn’t do it daily, so I assigned each child a day of the week. On their day, I focused on them completely — a game, a shake, whatever they chose — for as little as 15 minutes. That small investment paid off in big ways for our relationship and our ability to work through hard moments together.

When It’s a Skill Issue, Not a Discipline Issue

Sometimes what looks like a discipline problem is actually a skill deficit. My daughter struggled with intense emotions and would scream in frustration. Punishing her made it worse. Ignoring her made it worse. Even sending her to her room wouldn’t have prevented future outbursts — because the real issue was that she hadn’t yet learned to regulate her emotions.

When your child struggles this way, it doesn’t mean they’re broken or that you’ve failed. It means they need to be taught a skill. And because skills can be taught, change is always possible.

It’s Not Too Late

If you’ve felt like you’ve gotten discipline wrong, I want you to hear this: a small course correction can make a big difference. You don’t have to overhaul everything. You just have to take one step toward a calmer, more connected approach.

If you’d like help with that, I’d love for you to check out my new book, Goldilocks Discipline. It’s designed to help you move away from the extremes and toward a confident, just right approach that works in real life — without the fear that you’re ruining your kids.

Through Sunday, April 26th, the book comes with two bonus resources:

The book is short and includes discussion questions, making it easy to read alongside your husband.

👉 Find Goldilocks Discipline at https://funtolearnbooks.com/product/goldilocks-discipline/

Subscribe to the Homeschool Sanity Show for weekly encouragement, practical tools, and the confidence to homeschool well. If this episode helped you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear it!

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In “US Habits Keeping Freedom Alive,” episode #253, Meredith Curtis continues celebrating America’s 250th Birthday by uncovering American habits that preserve individual and national freedom. Faith & Family; Hard Work; Community Service; Rule of Law; and Safety keep the lights of liberty burning brightly. Let’s unpack these traditions so you can build on them in your own life today and in the future. God bless the USA. 😊

Bringing Homeschool Joy to Families Everywhere!

America is different from other nations – first to be governed by a written constitution, friendly people, a wealthy nation, values freedom, and is independent.

Faith and family work together to strengthen one another.

Faith gives our lives meaning and purpose. Salvation.

George Whitfield and Jonathan Edwards. Great Awakening. Revival. Transformation & Unity.

Democracy in America: America is great because Americans are good. Author talked about their virtuous lifestyles, which included attending church, loving their neighbor, and having strong families.

Marriage and family, created by God in the Garden, provide love and security. Strong families mean a strong society. Weak, broken families lead to a broken-down society filled with crime and cruelty.

How can we revive this American tradition of faith and family?

Story: Paula

America’s heroes and heroines are hard workers.

Hard work is a virtue, respected in the USA. Giving free stuff to able-bodied men and women who can work brings harm to them and to our country. It entices lazy people to come here and get welfare. Hard work is not a punishment; it is a blessing.

How can we revive the American tradition of hard work?

Story: Bob

Philanthropy and charity are an American way of life.

How can we revive the American tradition of community service?

Story: Anna

When God set up the nation of Israel, he gave them laws—many give with punishments for breaking them.

In the US, we have are ruled by a Constitution, our overarching law.

Thanks to the Bible and British Common Law, we enjoy many rights and privileges in relation to law and justice–trial by jury, face our accusers, just cause and warrant for searching our person or property, defend ourselves in court, and punishment cannot be cruel or unusual; it must fit the crime.

Elected officials must take an oath to defend the Constitution and the people they serve. Elected officials are accountable under the law.

How do we revive the American tradition of the rule of law?

Story: Matt

For Americans to be safe, those who break the law must be punished, regardless of social status, wealth, or power. Peace and safety require vigilance and military readiness. Prepare for war with a strong defense in place, yet seek to avoid it through diplomatic channels.

Barbary Pirates

How do we revive the American tradition of safety?

Story: Brandon.

Sign up for our updates and get your copy of US Living Books & Movies List (57 pages) and Sons of Liberty FREE. Sign up here.

Thank You to our Network Sponsor – CTC Math!

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by detox—heavy metals, parasites, medications, environmental toxins—you’re not alone.

In this episode, we’re breaking it down into something simple, clear, and actually doable.

You’ll learn how to think about detox through a homeopathic lens, what “cleanup” really means, and how to begin supporting your body in a way that’s gentle, effective, and not overwhelming.

This is the kind of clarity most people are missing—and once you have it, everything starts to make more sense.

And if this resonates with you, we’ve created a full Cleanup and Detox Training Series Private Podcast Course with over 7 hours of deeper teaching, practical guidance, and remedy support to help you take the next step with confidence. Get the course at https://homeopathyformommies.com/detoxtraining