An excerpt from "Ep. 56 - Movie Slasher Battle Royale: Summon All Monsters!" Mike The Hobbit transforms into his alter-ego "MC Gamwise Samgee" to bring you a truly monstrous rap battle between Candyman and Freddy Krueger! Ash narrates, and Leatherface delivers an electric drum solo! 

"Summon All Monsters" lyrics: http://bit.ly/SummonMonsters

LYRICS:

Ash (spoken): The Necronomicon Ex Mortus. Roughly translated... The book of the dead. The book
serves as a passageway to other dimensions, and Elvira has accidentally called some of the universe’s
deadliest monsters with it! Now it’s up to me to stop it... Again. Groovy!
Candyman: They say the blood that I have shed was truly innocent,
But when I’m called from the beyond fucking answer it!
Like Wu, the crew, attacking bees I’m out here killing it
Now I gotta deal with Freddy? Nah, that dude he fucks with kids!
Yer Nightmare boy is squaring up oh no he must be trippin’
Like sweetest honey are the rhymes that I’ve commenced to dishin’
then you call all these other fucks like they my competition?
Say farewell to the flesh Cabrini killa ends you livin!
Freddy: The souls of all the little kids they give me all my strength
And when It’s showtime I’ve been known to go to any length
stalk your dreams, welcome to primetime I don’ want your thanks
But cap’n hook you better kiss the glove and fall in rank!
So welcome to my nightmare, this is god, and if you please
You get more kids with honey not with swarms of killer bees!
If Leatherface could talk chainsaw bitch back me up
But mutey’s on his drums to show you bitches what is what
[LEATHERFACE DRUM SOLO]
Freddy (spoken): Oh that was just awful.
Ash (spoken): Hey Leatherface tell you what? Stick to wearing skin on your face, not hitting it with
sticks! And let me get this straight... there’s a guy named “Candyman” and he’s NOT the pedophile here?
I’m sorry, none of this makes sense to me. I’m sorry, Elvira. You’re on your own. I’m gonna go home and
sleep off this hangover.

"Ectoplasm" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com)

These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US

 

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