- Jealousy is the fear of losing something you believe should be yours.

- Envy - is the resentment you feel when someone else has something you want.

- Jealousy fears losing what you have.

Envy resents what someone else has.

- PROVERBS 27:4 Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?

- 1. Insecurities pave the way for Jealousy

- 1 Samuel 10:20-22

- 1 Samuel 13:8-14

- 2. Comparison is fuel for the jealous fire.

- 1 Samuel 18:6-9

- James 3:16 — "Where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice."

- 3. Jealousy Distorts Relationships and Makes Enemies Out of Allies

- For us Men: Jealousy can warp how you view: A co-worker you perceive as a threat, A brother at church who is growing spiritually, A man whose gifts overshadow yours , A friend whose success exposes your insecurity.

- Proverbs 14:30 — "A tranquil heart gives life… but envy makes the bones rot."

- 4. Jealousy Ultimately Destroys the Man Who Holds It

- Saul never repents fully.

- His last years are marked by paranoia, rage, spiritual darkness, and isolation.

- 1 Samuel 28 — He inquires of a medium because God no longer speaks to him.

- Jealousy, left unchecked, leads to:

Emotional burnout , Broken relationships , Spiritual coldness , Loss of peace , Missed God-given calling.

- Jesus: The Anti-Saul — The Model of Secure, Selfless Leadership

- Why Jesus Is the Cure for Male Jealousy?

- Jesus gives us identity that cannot be taken. Jealousy grows where identity is fragile. Jesus anchors a man’s worth in something unshakeable.

- Jesus removes the need for comparison. You don’t have to be better than other men—only faithful to Him.

- Jesus models secure leadership. Because He is secure in His Father’s love, He can empower others instead of competing with them.

- Jesus frees men to celebrate, not compete. In Christ, someone else’s success is not your loss—it’s God’s win.

- Jesus gives grace for failure. Saul spirals because he can’t face his own inadequacy. Jesus heals the insecure places that jealousy feeds on.

Saul shows us what happens when fear and Jealousy rules a man’s heart.

Jesus shows us what happens when the Father’s love rules a man’s heart.

- 1. Eli Knew What Was Wrong but Did Nothing

1 Samuel 2:12- 17

- Eli’s problem wasn’t ignorance — it was inaction.

- You can’t fix what you won’t confront. Matthew 5:9

- Peace Keepers sweep things under the rug. Peacemakers move toward the issue with a plan.

- Silence and softness toward sin in your home will grow into destruction.

- “Many men lose their influence not by doing evil — but by tolerating it.”

- 2. Eli’s Passivity Cost His Family and Ministry

1 Samuel 3:11-14

- Passivity always has a price.

- Leadership means taking responsibility — even when it’s uncomfortable.

- Don’t wait until sin has done its damage to step in.

- Eli’s passivity led to loss and corruption, but Jesus’ intentional action led to victory and redemption.

- True spiritual leadership demands both compassion and courage — grace balanced with grit.

- Jesus didn’t reject him — He refines him.

- MATTHEW 14:28-31 - And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” 29 He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” 31 Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”

- Like Peter, many of us have no problem getting going… The problem is we’re unaware of what it will take to KEEP going.

- COST OF DISCIPLESHIP - Luke 14:27-30 Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. 28 For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? 29 Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, 30 saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’

- The Courage to continue must be sustained by faith, not fueled by adrenaline.

- UNWAVERING FOCUS TO THE ONE WE ARE WALKING TO , NOT WHAT WE ARE WALKING THROUGH.

- WHAT WE ARE WALKING THROUGH

- First off… Impulsive decisions made with good intentions can still lead to bad outcomes.

- Sometime’s our desire to “fix things” , “help”, or “protect” comes from pride, not faith.

- Your love for Christ CANNOT be what drives your relationship with Christ.

- Christ LOVE for me, not my love for Christ, must be what drives my relationship with Him.

- John 18:10-11 - Then Simon Peter, having a sword, drew it and struck the high priest's servant and cut off his right ear. (The servant's name was Malchus.) 11 So Jesus said to Peter, “Put your sword into its sheath; shall I not drink the cup that the Father has given me?”

- WHEN WE’RE SELF LED IMPULSIVITY LEADS TO MISTAKE, WHEN WE’RE SPIRIT LED IMPULSIVITY LEADS TO MINISTRY.

- Don’t pray for less fire — pray for a Spirit-guided and fire.

Judges 14:1–3

Samson went down to Timnah, and at Timnah he saw one of the daughters of the Philistines. 2 Then he came up and told his father and mother, “I saw one of the daughters of the Philistines at Timnah. Now get her for me as my wife.” 3 But his father and mother said to him, “Is there not a woman among the daughters of your relatives, or among all our people, that you must go to take a wife from the uncircumcised Philistines?” But Samson said to his father, “Get her for me, for she is right in my eyes.”

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

So the Philistines captured him and gouged out his eyes. They took him to Gaza, where he was bound with bronze chains and forced to grind grain in the prison.22 But before long, his hair began to grow back.

Numbers 20:2-13

Now there was no water for the congregation. And they assembled themselves together against Moses and against Aaron. 3 And the people quarreled with Moses and said, “Would that we had perished when our brothers perished before the Lord! 4 Why have you brought the assembly of the Lord into this wilderness, that we should die here, both we and our cattle? 5 And why have you made us come up out of Egypt to bring us to this evil place? It is no place for grain or figs or vines or pomegranates, and there is no water to drink.” 6 Then Moses and Aaron went from the presence of the assembly to the entrance of the tent of meeting and fell on their faces. And the glory of the Lord appeared to them, 7 and the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, 8 “Take the staff, and assemble the congregation, you and Aaron your brother, and tell the rock before their eyes to yield its water. So you shall bring water out of the rock for them and give drink to the congregation and their cattle.” 9 And Moses took the staff from before the Lord, as he commanded him.10 Then Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly together before the rock, and he said to them, “Hear now, you rebels: shall we bring water for you out of this rock?” 11 And Moses lifted up his hand and struck the rock with his staff twice, and water came out abundantly, and the congregation drank, and their livestock. 12 And the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not believe in me, to uphold me as holy in the eyes of the people of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land that I have given them.” 13 These are the waters of Meribah, (quarreling) where the people of Israel quarreled with the Lord, and through them he showed himself holy.

1. Anger Distorts Our Witness

Numbers 12:20

And the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not believe in me, to uphold me as holy in the eyes of the people of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land that I have given them.”

James 1:19-20

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

Losing your temper is not a sign of strength, it’s a sign of weakness.

Matthew 5:5

“Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth."

2.Anger distances us - from people and the promises of God.

Deuteronomy 3:23-27

And I pleaded with the Lord at that time, saying, 24 ‘O Lord God, you have only begun to show your servant your greatness and your mighty hand. For what god is there in heaven or on earth who can do such works and mighty acts as yours? 25 Please let me go over and see the good land beyond the Jordan, that good hill country and Lebanon.’ 26 But the Lord was angry with me because of you and would not listen to me. And the Lord said to me, ‘Enough from you; do not speak to me of this matter again. 27 Go up to the top of Pisgah and lift up your eyes westward and northward and southward and eastward, and look at it with your eyes, for you shall not go over this Jordan.

A short fuse can burn a long future.

Ephesians 4:26-27

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil.

Proverbs 15:18

A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.

A man’s anger separates and isolates.

An angry man creates an anxious environment

Chronic anger is self harm.

1. Anger Distorts Our Witness

2.Anger distances us - from people and the promises of God.

Burnout is what happens when we attempt to carry the work of God apart from the presence of God.

1 Kings 19:1-8

1 Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. 2 Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, “So may the gods do to me and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by this time tomorrow.” 3 Then he was afraid, and he arose and ran for his life and came to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there. 4 But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” 5 And he lay down and slept under a broom tree. And behold, an angel touched him and said to him, “Arise and eat.” 6 And he looked, and behold, there was at his head a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water. And he ate and drank and lay down again. 7 And the angel of the Lord came again a second time and touched him and said, “Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.” 8 And he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb, the mount of God.

1.He got too TIRED TO TRUST God

A flood of fatigue and fear can drown your faith.

The enemy gets the loudest, when our tanks are the lowest.

2. HIS INSECURITY LEADS TO HIS ISOLATION.

We isolate and push others away because…

- We don’t want to have to be fake and pretend like things are ok.

- We’ve messed up so bad, that we feel unworthy to be with others, especially family.

- If I push others away, it guarantees that no one can talk me out of what I’m feeling.

- We’re so emotionally drained we don’t have the ability to connect with others.

- We’re frustrated and don’t want to risk blowing up on someone.

- If people are close to me they're going to see our weakness. We’d rather push them away and have them think we’re strong, than let them in and reveal we’re not.

1 Kings 19:9-10

Exhaustion > exaggeration > isolation > depression > despair  — Burnout.

Rest = Worship

 

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In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king’s men and the whole Israelite army. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained in Jerusalem.2 One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, 3 and David sent someone to find out about her.

“My food, is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.

In the garden he prayed - “Not my will, but yours be done.“

By his example

His Holy Spirit sent to us

By His grace

By his calling

He Helps us By his church - we need each other.

1 Corinthians 10:12, Genesis 39:7-10, Hebrews 2:14-18

Mark 2:18-22

1. Which better defines what's happening in your life: You're letting Jesus make you new or 2. You are trying to mix Jesus into your old life?

2. If you could snap your fingers and one aspect of your old life (habits, sin struggles, personality flaws, how something traumatic affected you) would be completely gone, never to be struggled with again, what part of your life would that be?

3. We talked about the difference between a servant and a son. Why is it sometimes more comfortable and natural to relate to God the father as a servant as opposed to His son?

4. The man of God lesson from this story is Jesus didn't come to make us better, but to make us new. How can you be a man of God, who like Jesus, doesn't just make things better, but actually make things new?