Bob rents heavy machinery from McLovin, while Miles gets put in his place at the pharmacy.

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Oh, yeah. Okay. I swear to God, you just said my butthole. No. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Static Show. This is Bob. Hey, everyone. This is Miles with Static Radio. Talking about his butthole. Talking about Bob’s b-hole, apparently. Mm-hmm. Oh, whatever he’s into. Considering the week you’ve had. Yeah, that’s true. That’s true, yeah. I believe, wasn’t it in Clerks, all holes filled three? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I don’t know. At the good old video store there? I don’t know what I think about that. I can’t talk about some things that happen to me. Yeah, talk about everything that happens to your old uncle Miles. I’ve got secrets. It changes. Tell me, Miles is a secret boy. That’s right. I’ve got lots of secrets. You hear one? Can’t tell you.
Oh my goodness. I’m tired. So, you know, I’ve been doing yard work. Yeah, I’m always doing the yard work. I’ve been doing a lot of DIY stuff, you know. Yeah, you love doing that. Down in yonder. I don’t know. Do it yourself, right? Yes. And I’ve rented I talked about renting the stump grinder a while back. I’ve rented a couple more things since then. One of them was a little mini bulldozer thing. Like a bobcat? Like a bobcat, but even smaller. You stand on the back of it And you got a big scoop and you scoop up stuff. I’ve been moving rocks. Skid loader. Like a skid loader. Yeah, exactly. Thank you. Did you just look that up or something? I know rednecks. I speak redneck. I speak redneck. Yeah. Continue on. Some other languages. Yeah. So anyway, the place that I go to get these things, it’s like a family run.
you know, kind of place. And so, you know, there’s on the inside, I mentioned on the outside, those guys, you know, we were going to outside on the inside. It’s, it, it’s like a grandpa and his grandson, uncle Jesse that work. No, not uncle Jesse, but the kid who the younger one, right. But he’s, You know, he’s not that young. He’s probably like 30 or something. Yeah. Looks like McLovin. Ha ha ha! with a glass like christopher mince plentz his name is and looks like mcglovin he’s got glasses. He’s just kind of gawky and gangly and and he’s always like frantic. Every time i go there to get something, you know, he’s frantic. Or more so bringing it back because so like normal when you get it, I mean, he goes through and gives you the paper. You gotta sign away your life, you know, on this line that says basically
you’re responsible if you kill yourself or you kill anyone else, or, you know, you lose a digit or two, um, you got to sign all this stuff. And, uh, you know, you guys, where you got big weekend plan. And, uh, yeah, I was going to hang out with you. What do you think? Yeah. And so then, so I bring them back the skid loader. Yeah. Yeah. And, um, and so he usually checks you back in. So you, you come in and he’s, he’s like, okay. And he’s like, is it out? It’s outside. Yeah. It’s out the side door. Woo. He runs out there, you know, and he checks it over to make sure I haven’t broken it. Um, yeah. And checks to make sure I put gas in it. Cause that’s one of the big, sure. Yeah.
you have to spray it down. You can’t bring it back all filthy. Right. Well, that makes sense. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Spaz. So then, but this one last time I went, he, he did that and he goes, okay, nobody’s here yet. Uh, bring it on around back and we’ll get it off the trailer. Uh, and, uh, I’m like, okay, so I drive around into the yard and, uh, I’m, you know, get parked and I’m doing the wind down, you know, to put the foot down so you can take a hitch off the back of the thing there. Oh, yeah. And, oh, my God, I thought he was going to throw a fit. I wasn’t doing it fast enough. Come on, man. He’s like, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he.
Or his hands in his pants when he was doing this? Well, no, his hands were out front of him waving me. You may ask yourself, how did I get here? Do you want to do this? Yeah. I swear he’s got 100 cups of coffee every morning or something. It’s so weird. He seems like a real nice guy. It’s really weird to have McLovin, you know, be your… Would you have him at your house for supper? No. I wouldn’t have anybody at my house for supper. What are you talking about? Well, I know. I just want to check and see. Sometimes you get a little weird and you’re like, well… No. Well, no. I mean, he seems like a nice enough guy, but… Would you let him go to your house and, like, do work, guard work? Or he’d be like, you’re too frightened? No. No, I wouldn’t. Yeah. Me?
Yeah, he’s nice. I don’t know. The relationship that we have built as customer and rental merchant is fine with me. And then his grandpa’s in there. And I mean, he seems like he’s all there. But I mean, he kind of just meanders around. And I’m like, because, you know, McLovin is like a chicken with his head cut off running around. How’s it going today? Yeah. I think it’s going to rain. How do you leave a poor lock in suspense? What’s on small tech? Well, he just kind of, you know, doesn’t really wouldn’t answer the questions or no, I mean, He might ask you, are you being helped? And I’m like, yeah. And he’s like, wow. He’s just kind of hanging out. Are you related to that weird kid outside? They have to be. They look very similar. He looks like really old McLovin. Yeah. But it’s just kind of one of those weird… When you first walk in, you’re like, I mean, it really looks like him.
I mean, he’s really… It’s like, is this for real? And then he acts real spastic like that and everything. I didn’t see his ID, so I don’t know if he was from Florida or whatever, but his name is not really McLovin. Yeah, right. But yeah, I’m like, this is uncanny. I should sneak a picture next time, right? Yeah. I feel bad if I do that, but I really probably, you know, people aren’t going to believe me. I’m like, you got to come to this rental place and see McLovin at work, you know. Hey, can I drive the skid loader? I don’t know. Can you? Can you? Yeah. So, yeah, McLovin helped me take that off the trailer, and then he’s, like, shooing me away. Everything’s in a rush with this guy. You’re not a man. You’re half a man.
I try not to be in a total rush like that for the most part. I rented a skid loader from McLovin. How many people are going to say that? Not many. And his grandpa. Jesse’s. Well, I don’t know what his name is. I didn’t ask. I didn’t ask what either one of them’s name is. As far as I’m concerned, it’s like McLovin, you know, the third and original McLovin. I don’t know. Yeah. Well. So, yeah. You know. But I don’t have any. I’ll have to wait. I don’t have any rentals coming up soon. I’m done with my project. And so I got to wait for a new project later in the year here. Mm-hmm. So no more McLevin stories. Although, you know, he’s just a delightful young man, other than the spastic nature of his persona. I’m sure you’ll be back. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, it was one of those things where, you know, I didn’t want to… I don’t want to pay the money that it takes to rent these things. But when I… Moving rocks, I’m like…
Okay. I’m going to pay the money. And I’m like, God damn, this worked really good. I’m never going to, I’m never not going to pay the money again. It just works so well. I paid a hundred dollars for the GD machine. Better work. Right. Better work. Yeah. Being lovey will be mad if it doesn’t. But no, I was like, yeah, I made, it made the quick work of everything. having that deal, and I got the hang of it, man. I could really scoop those rocks. What? I got done scooping rocks. I filled holes. Oh, all right. No bragging, man. No bragging. I went out in the yard, and I got some dirt and filled in holes. Oh, good for you. Good for you.
I know you’re not into hole-filling. You’re more into… I’m into hole-filling. But, you know… I had some hole-filling. Yeah. But, yeah, McLovin. McLovin Rental. Yeah. You can get a skid load for that. Yeah. But I would highly recommend, if you’ve never, you know, rented… Rented from McLovin and his grandpa. Rented from McLovin. It might be worth the… It might be worth the look. Yeah. And grandpa talks a lot, yeah. Well… I wanted to ask him, like, are you Joe Biden’s speech writer? What are you? Okay. Look at that guy over there, clapping, huh? All right. Well… Yeah. But it’s weird having the celebrity lookalike for a rental, you know, person. They also do weddings, by the way, just in case you need to know. They rent wedding stuff. You want doves? We got doves. Chairs. I got the tents. The cake stand. The tents. Yeah, they do it all. It used to be Bob’s Pants. Well, I was going to say, yeah, you beat me to that one. I was going to say it used to be Miles DeShiki. Yeah.
made it into two tents. So what’s going on with you, sir? Uh, well, I didn’t rent anything thank god but i had a chance to spend some time with my oldest son, miles jr uh this week that’s nice. He’s always a busy he’s a busy lad he’s hard to pin down. So I, uh, yeah, I can imagine. He’s like, oh, hey, I got nothing to do. I go, hey, I got nothing to do. Let’s run some errands. And he goes. Anything like his old man. He’s never where you want him to be at. Pretty much, yeah. Like, yeah, we can either really work on something like this skid loader or just F off. Yeah, we can just F off. And he’s like, well, I have to go to a couple places, including this big chain drugstore, which we will not name. Right, Dave? Oh, what?
Right. Yeah, let’s go. Right. So we went to ride aid and, uh, we get there and there is no one in line, which is like very unusual. Very interesting. He’s like, well, I’ve got, you know, I’m trying to order some stuff. I’m having some problems with it. So we should go in. I said, okay, we go in. There’s no one there. And the clerk is like, oh, uh, Hey, give me a minute. I’m doing the drive through. I’ll be with you guys in a second. Hold on. Okay. Okay. No problem. So we’re waiting. It took a little bit more than a minute, but we’re like, okay, all right. We look around and there’s like a small line starting to form behind us. There’s, you know, like three or four dudes behind us. Okay. They’re between his age and mine. They all have condoms. That’s the weird one. Yeah, they’re trying to buy condoms and, you know, stuff, skid loaders and condoms. And suddenly, so we’re standing like shoulder to shoulder, right, at the counter. Ooh.
And so I’m to the left of my son and to the right, like this little old woman shows up and throws her purse up on the, the counter. Right. She’s kind of muttering to herself. I bet your sack isn’t this large, buddy. I all want to bet. So, uh, I can tell like the late, like the pharmacist lady is going to say something here pretty soon, you know, and And the old woman’s like, well, I’ve got a bus coming here, so I guess I’m next. She butted in line on you. I’m like, certainly she’s not. She pulled the retired car, the geriatric car. I’m like, certainly she’s not tired. No, next thing. Okay, who’s next? Oh, I am. I have a bus coming. I have a bus coming.
He has just jumped ahead like at least five people. This fat guy with a case of you who can wait. Yeah. It’s got his hand stuck in a Pringles can for Christ’s sake. Pringles at the checkout. And I’m like in disbelief at this point. I’m like, you know, I thought, well, maybe if you’re going to pull this card, you know, maybe, you know, but Hey, excuse me. Do you mind if I cut in line? I’ve got the emergency. I got to get going. And I, you know, no. It wasn’t even that. It was just like, F you guys, I’m next. I got a bus. I got a bus coming for Christ’s sakes. I got a bus. What is it, like Larry Flint’s mom? I hope she dies. Oh, hey, rough language. I hope she gets hit by that bus.
I know. Can you take my card and give me some cash back, too? I’m like, oh, for fuck’s sake. Oh, no, you’re messing up the world. This kid don’t know how to do cash back. I’m like, okay. I’m not going to say anything, but I’m going to be an asshole. So I’m saying shit to my son aloud, like, yeah, we’re picking up my mom’s medicine, and then we’ll go over to the hospice and go see her. Oh, jeez. We’re going to pick out her stomach. That’s horrible. What kind of script do you want on Grandma’s Stone? Because we’re going to do that next week. Oh, great. My son’s like, don’t, don’t. I just popped a few Viagra. We better get going before things start being funny. Boner. Yeah, so yeah, this old witch. Yeah, just cuts complete and gets her stuff. I go, so help me God. We go outside and she’s just outside effing around and
open a cigarette, I’m going to punch this lady’s lights off. I swear to God. Oh my gosh, there’s such anger for the elderly. What a asshole. I go, this is not the first time this lady’s pulled this card on somebody. She was way too… Oh, I guess she does it every time she comes in. Way too confident acting like an asshole. She’s had a long life. Would you just show up and be like, ah, sorry. Not me. Sorry. No. I’d go to the back of the line. Not a million years would I pull this. I would not pull this. I mean, I wouldn’t give you that. A million years is kind of tough to buy for me. I mean, the chances of you pulling it are greater than me. No. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I’m sure you’d be like, yeah, I need you. I got some videos to watch on TikTok. Watch out. I mean, in front.
People getting squirted. Yeah. I’m getting squirted. Exactly. Actually. Yeah. Cause my son actually ended up tying up the line for like 20 minutes. Cause either they could not find what he needed. So I go, I didn’t know something, you know, like, yeah, like totally, uh, his order was all, what were they looking for? They have to get it. I don’t know. Some prescription foot powder. I don’t know. Oh, okay. I don’t know. I don’t know. Just unbelievable. Unbelievable. That’s unbelievable. I can’t believe it. I know. Poor lady. Getting the dirty looks from you. Shooting daggers at her while she’s just trying to get some extra money to go have lunch with her grandchildren. I’d push her in front of the bus. I’ll tell you that right now. You’re so angry.
What’s gotten into you? Your wife would have been there. Oh, she would have blew a cork. Believe me. Believe me. Your wife would have freaked out if this lady would have pulled this on your wife. Believe me. Oh, my gosh. Yes. It would not have been pretty. Yeah. That’s not you, though. That’s her. That’s not you. That’s the F you are. Yeah, he’d be, oh, good. Whatever he wants. The whip. I’m not a big Harry. What do we care? I don’t care. Just let the poor lady have her thing. Let Selma Diamond go first. Whatever. I guess. Let’s have a special line for old people that need to cut a head apparently. They don’t have much time anyway. What do they care? I’m a realist. I’m a realist.
Yeah, you’re okay. Yeah, well, then next week we’ll hear. So I cut in line and put everybody at the Walmart, self-check. I just walked right in there. No. Oh, no. Yeah, that actually almost happened. This dude realized I must have had this crazy. Oh, you’re in line. Oh, okay. Okay. Oh, you’re in line? Sorry, man. What happened after this? Yeah, this kid knew he had upped up. He’s like, oh, I’m sorry, man. Don’t kill me. Don’t kill me. I’m sorry, man. Don’t fall on me. Yeah, all right, Shamu. Don’t get me, man. Don’t get me. Yeah, he’s like, hey, chill out. All right, well, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m wrong. I don’t know. Yeah, I think you should cut her some slack. I think you need to…
You probably needed to help her, you know? I feel more comforted to know, like, okay, could you just tell me your whole day’s itinerary? So I avoid you from now on? Yeah, like, I mean, are you going to like a birthday party or were there, you know what I’m saying? Yeah. Something special, like you have to make supper? I mean, what? Can you just, I don’t know. Yeah, can you let me know? Can you share your location with me if I knew how to do that? I want your address and your phone number. We’ll drive by your house later to make sure you’re home. Yeah. I’m sure that would go over really, really well. Yeah. Okay.