We’ll see if this works here, Miles. Are you okay? Are you situated? Yeah, I’m in. Are you wearing your brace? My brace. Ah, Mr. Wilson. Ah, Mr. Heath. Hey everyone, this is Miles. What’s that from? Because I’m a tax man. Oh, okay. I’m not as familiar with that cut, I guess. Welcome everybody to Static Radio. Static Radio. Glad you’re all here. Hey. having some slight technical issues with miles and his microphone. I like this kind of party. But we’re all good now. Yeah. I’m still depressed, Miles. Yeah, I know. I just spent like 35 minutes talking to you, and it was like i wanted to start cutting myself again after listening to you. I’m like, oh, my God. I didn’t realize that i know i just started listening to you. I’m like, oh, my God. I just, oh. Okay.
Please, make it stop. I didn’t realize that you were a cutter originally. Which brings me to the third grade. Like, oh my God, this guy with the fucking Well, you know i don’t know about my friend i know i know i yes i know yes i’m not so i mean it was nice, but i’m not so sure about these celebrations of life. Have you been to one of these things? Uh, yeah, I guess. I’ve been to a few of them now because people aren’t as, um, religious, I guess you would say. Was it like, you know like uh uh some kind of hall or something like, uh, yeah, yeah. It was just like at your, like, you know, neighbor neighborhood. uh, like the W or something. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Right. Oh, it wasn’t all like, Oh, let’s get in the St. Patrick’s cathedral here. No, no church at all. It was just to talk about our friend Roscoe here. Community thing. Well, um, yeah, community thing. So it was not, uh, I’m okay. I’d be all right. I’ve not been to something like that. No, but I mean, I’d be okay going to it. I don’t, I really stay away from stuff. I know I’m, I,
I really don’t like going, but I feel a sense of duty. I know. And I’m… Yeah. I’m a very… As anyone can attest, if they’ve listened to this show at all, I’m an extremely loyal friend. Because I’m still talking to you. It shows my loyalty. It knows no bounds. You could almost be a Bears fan because you’ve been through so much suffering with me. Bears, Cubs, Sox, whatever. He’s such a loser. I should just cut this guy loose. I know it. I didn’t say you were a loser. You’ve caused me constant grief for a long time, but I still am here. I have this extreme loyalty and sense of duty. And so I went, even though no one went with me. Yeah. My wife’s like, I’m not going. I’ve got other things to do. I don’t know. Thanks. Thanks, toots. You got to do my hair. So, no, there was other things, cooking. So I go, and I walk in. I’m generally early.
But because it was out of town and I had to drive in and so forth, I was about like five minutes after it started. What a shame. But, yeah, which, yeah. Well, you would think that, I mean, there was nothing. There was no ceremony. There was no, you know, kind of service or anything. So it wasn’t like I was late because people came and went. you know, over the course of hours. So there was a little bit of a, of a, you know, eulogy kind of a situation, but that wasn’t for another hour after I got there. So I get there and I walk in and I’m like, fuck, I don’t know anybody. That’s my fear. That is my fear. I’d be like, I’m looking around and I’m like, I’m like, I mean, cause I’m also,
impulsively early. I’m like, I’m five minutes late did already everybody already come in and leave? Where’s my friend, you know, Chinook from high school? I don’t see him, man. Well, and so i knew, I knew one person because i talked to him was going to be there and he was local and, and he wasn’t even there yet. And I’m like, okay, maybe i’m just early, which is normal for me. And so, I did know family and so I proceeded to go and talk to siblings and so forth and express my grief and sorrow for their loss. So then the next thing I know, there’s a guy I went to high school with that I’m really not that fond of. i’ve never been super i mean, he’s not a bad person or a mean person or a terrible person or anything. It’s just not it’s just one of those people i’m like you know, I don’t He wasn’t one of your crew. No, he was he was ancillary now people i hung out with would hang out with him, but i was not one of those people. Oh, I see. Yeah.
Because, and I’ll just be honest, he’s a boar. You ever experience a boar? Boar the boar. Boar ploy. Well, he’s a cornfield boar, so it’s not quite like that. Yeah, I’ve talked to boring people. I just talked to one about half an hour ago. You’re talking to one right now, you son of a bitch. So anyway, he comes up. and, you know, corrals me. Hey, Bob, how are you? I’m like, hey. Hi, I’m jumping with her. Coming right up. Yeah. I’m like, hey. He’s like, oh, you just get here? I’m literally in the doorway. Yeah? Yeah. And he’s like, well, I’m over here. My wife’s over here. Oh, I’m not. We’re all over here. And I go, okay, give me… I guess where I’m not going to be. Yeah. Well, no, I ended up going over. Give me a minute. Let me talk to some family and then I’ll make my way over there. So then I I spied another person who I knew from high school who was sitting down close to that. So I sat across from him and next to this woman. Right. And I sat down there and I’m like, hey, Brad, how’s it going, man? And oh, my gosh, you talk about.
I mean, I was sad, but I wasn’t like… My name’s not Brad. Glum. So, no, I go, Brad, this guy is so dour. I think for a little while, I thought, did I do something to him? Because, man, this guy was giving me a look like, you know… You know, you got a lot of nerves showing up. Right. It was like, I was like, hey, how’s it going? I haven’t seen you in like 30 years. You shouldn’t have come back to Salem, all right? I’m telling you right now. This guy was giving me the worst look, and I was racking my brain trying to figure out, what did I do to him? I’m like, the funny thing was that I know my friend who passed away, Mark, and I used to tease him a lot. Oh, okay. But I don’t think that he was that mad about it.
Well… And so, I mean, I sat by the guy for a good half an hour. Yeah. And I was like, wow. So then I’m like, I don’t know what… He’s like, I’m retired. And I’m like, wow, you’re retired. Fantastic. But he never got any happier. The whole time I talked to him, never happier. I could never figure out if it was me. But… Here’s the thing. This is the thing that you’re going to be interested in is he works at an arcade in Central Illinois. After he retired, he took a part-time job. It’s a different one than the one you and I went to in McLean. Okay. And so I’m like, hey, I love an arcade. I’m going to have to tell Miles that we got a new place to hit up sometime here, you know.
Hey, you think we can get some free games? And then he kind of chippered up a little bit. He’s like, yeah, you guys should come by. I go, oh, I love the old arcade. He’s like, yeah, it’s got all these games. He’s like, the guy who owns the pharmacy built it because he wanted to have something else in the area for people to hang out. Does it have AstroTip? Uh, no, this is a real, like, this is not your, Oh, okay. Not that dirty game. That’s not that dirty game you sent me yeah okay yeah oh i think yoder gave me that. Yeah. Sure. Um, so then, so then he cheered up and i’m like, okay, maybe he’s not mad at me. Maybe he’s really, really sad because you know, it was, they were good friends and and so yeah yeah and the other thing was my son, when i get home,
my son’s asking me, you know, who’d you see and who’d you talk to? And I’m, I’m describing them like, yeah, I saw Brad and he was really glum and everything. And I go, maybe I go, it’s kind of weird because my son’s like, why? I go, I go, because, uh, when we were in high school, like his late in his junior year, his parents abandoned him. Oh my God. You know the weirdest freaking people, I swear to God. The parents, like, took off and got jobs in some other state. Yeah. And left the kids there by themselves to graduate the next year. Ah, they’re old enough. Well, and they both had to have jobs because they were paying utilities and things. Oh, my God. Yeah, so Brad was this poor working class senior. Yeah.
Yeah, and my son’s like, what? I’m like, yeah. I can’t remember why, but they just left him there. Oh, my God. That’s terrible. Because Mark and I used to go over all the time because there was a place to go because there’s no adults. Oh, my God. Party, man. Well, there was a lot of that, right? And that’s where we teased him and everything. So he’s like, that’s so strange that these people – I go – You know, I never really thought about it. Maybe that’s why he’s so glum. His parents abandoned him. Yeah. That’s kind of weird. Nowadays, I don’t know if that would fly very well. Yeah, it was. Yeah, he worked at Rack’s Roast Beef. I remember that. Because there would always be Rack’s Roast Beef stuff all over the place. Sounds like something Scooby-Doo would be talking about. Rack’s Roast Beef. But anyway…
I’ll wrap up with my little adventure. But anyway, so I’m sitting next to this lady. I mean, again, he was the only person I recognized other than the dude that caught me at the door. And I’m like, I am sitting next to her and talking to Brad. And I go, I probably know who this is. But I cannot place anybody. And so I spent a lot of time going, introducing myself. Hey, I’m Bob Lament. I went to high school with Mark. And she’s like, my name’s Bev. Don’t you remember me? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I must’ve done that to like four or five people. I’m a horrible person. I’m not hearing you, Miles, by the way. If you’re hearing me, I’m not hearing you. So you can jump off and jump back on if you need to. Hello? Oh, there you are. You were radio silence there for a little bit. No, I didn’t want to. Did you hear what I said about the person I was speaking to? No, I can hear you. I can hear you. It’s just this stupid phone. That’s why I didn’t want to do it this way. Yeah.
Okay, well, anyway, I had to reintroduce myself to people because I had no fucking clue who they were, and then they would say their name, and I’m like, oh, yeah. I remember you. You looked young. Did we have sex at McDonald’s or an Iraq quarry? I can’t remember. Yeah, no, I don’t think that, yeah, she and I were never, yeah. Hey, you’re the guy that zipped up his own dick with a zipper. Oh, shit. I remember she was at that. in you either, but. Yeah. But no, so yeah, I felt so bad because i did not recognize anybody hardly, you know so yeah it was. That’s, yeah, see, that’s why i wouldn’t go i’m not gonna go unfortunately this other one guy, he comes up, he was talking to my brother and i couldn’t place him.
And then he comes up to me and he’s like, hey, I’m Terry. You remember me? And I’m like, oh yeah, I remember you, Terry. He lived around the corner. And then his wife and I’m like, oh my God, his wife looked like an alcoholic who’d been run over by a car or something. It was just horrible. Remember me? Well, the funny thing was I went to college with her for a little while and yeah, and I knew her and I recognized her, but God, She looked really rough and hilarious. Then my brother, a little bit later on, my brother goes, did you see Terry? I go, yeah. He goes, his wife looks pretty damn rough, doesn’t she? And you’re like, oh, no, she looked good. I noticed. I figured you’d be all like, no, I didn’t notice. No, we were by ourselves at that point. So, yeah, I was like, yep.
So yeah, she looked, she basically, oddly enough, she looked like she could have been an ensemble player and absolutely fabulous. So she looked like she was, she looked like she was drunk while she was there. For all I know, she was drunk. I don’t know. Right. Right. But, but yeah, I spent, I spent an afternoon being, I mean, I’m already an uncomfortable person in the public. And so I was incredibly uncomfortable trying to do my best to, uh, you know, be normal, but having so many problems, you know i i’m sure that we know each other, but i can’t place you you know you’re like the guy from uh what resident alien or something, you know that’s some bullshit yeah that’s some bullshit yeah so but anyway i it was just such a uh
Eye-opening experience. People only knew the weirdo underneath, the disguise. They’d be like, oh, sure. He is a blue alien. It was pretty weird there because they kind of seemed to know who I was. But that’s the norm, right? I mean, I’ve lived my whole life like that. Yeah. I meet people, and then two months later, I see them again. I can’t recall. Remember me? Yeah, I’m like, huh? You said I was beautiful, remember me? I don’t recall that. No, I don’t think I do. So anyway, I’m hoping… Don’t die on me, Miles. Please, I don’t want to have to go through this again. Well, I can’t promise that. Do your best. If I go before you… I release you from going to any sort of visitation or sending a card or anything. I release you. No, I’ll do my duty. I release you. I release you. I’m publicly releasing you now. The last show will be me complaining about you mercilessly after you’re gone. Yeah. Or vice versa. My brother will have to take my place in the show from here on out, though.
I was never talking to your brother. Well, who’s this again? Yeah. I’ve talked to him once and he thought we were related and I’m like, yeah, really? Who is it? I mean, look, I mean, just the nose size difference would give it away. Christ. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Alone. The other, you know, features. Yeah. Yeah. Of your face. Our faces don’t look anything alike. No. We’re like, yeah, really opposite features here. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So anyway, what’s going on with you, sir? Well, I, man, I don’t know if I should go on this long story about going to this horror fest. No, no, go ahead. Jump into it. Okay. Hey, just in case I fall off, it’s just a stupid phone. So just start yelling that you cannot hear me. I will.
Immediately, yes. I will immediately say something. I have to move this phone every so many seconds, otherwise it thinks I’m not there. Okay. So there was a horror fest I traveled to this weekend. I wanted to come up to that, to be honest with you. I felt the sense of duty I felt was to go to… No, you did the right thing. You didn’t… You did the right thing. Okay. But it Basically, it featured about half the cast of Bright Night, the old 80s horror film where there’s a vampire next to me and that kind of thing. Yeah, it was great. They enlist the old horror host, Roddy McDowell, which I’m a big Roddy McDowell fan. Yeah, Planet of the Apes. apes and everything. He’s just a cool dude. Erotic art collection and everything i don’t know about, he’s deceased now, so i could not ask him. Go ahead. And, uh, so it was, uh, I got there. It was very easy to get to. It was a nice location. Uh, it’s moved now. It’s in a different, uh, more accessible location now. But, uh, Yeah. I got there and, uh, in the distance, there’s like, uh,
three or four guests there, you know? And I’m like, oh, okay. So I’m like, well, I’ll just, yeah, I’m heading that way, but I’m going to stop, you know, cause there’s all these vendors and I’m just kind of taking a quick peek, you know? Yeah. Okay. You know, all this, you know, stickers and, you know, there’s all this stuff. People sell this amazing stickers, you know, you know, no, it’s all, it’s all the same stuff basically. So I’m like a fool. I took my time. Cause I get up there where the guests are. They’ve all gone to lunch. Oh, well, because you were late probably, weren’t you? I’m like, what the fuck? No, I mean, this went on all day. This is like an all-day thing. Okay, so you can come anytime you want is what you’re saying. Yeah, no, yeah. Just coincidentally, they’re like, oh, yeah, they just left to get lunch. They’ll be back in like 20 minutes. I’m like, oh. I’ll go there. No, just they were like in this facility. Oh, they got box lunches or something terrible. Yeah, right. I’m like, oh.
I have ADD. I hate waiting around. Where are they? I wanted to be frightened. Evil Ed, come back, Evil Ed. No, but so Marlena Midnight was there, though. The local horror host. Yes, and she’s expanded now into Southern Illinois. I know. I think that’s fantastic. I think that she deserves it. She does, and she’s looking great because she has not appeared since before COVID. I was actually at her very last appearance. Well, she had an accident too, right? That was prior to that, I think. She has had some health issues, I think, but she has bounced back. But it was very nice to see her again, and I talked to her just so briefly, but I did buy some products. She’s friends with, I think his name is David DeGaris, who’s…
a character actor in a lot of movies these days he was in that well he was in um what was that called oh shoot i’m gonna blank on it. But anyway, he’s been in a lot of movies. He looks kind of weird. He was a horror, a local horror host that went out to los angeles and has made it in the movies. Oh, is that that one guy? uh it’s kind of weird, yeah. Yeah, she kind of teamed up with this one dude for a little while. He had, like, really long fangs and kind of like a little bob wig or something. Yeah, he wore a wig, yeah. Professor something. I don’t know what it was called. Yeah, yeah. That’s the guy. He’s been in, like, in some DC movies. And he was in Ant-Man, the first Ant-Man movie. I did not see the first Ant-Man movie. Anyway, he’s been in a bunch of stuff lately. Oh, okay. No, I didn’t know that. Midnight with the Devil, I think it was a call. Or Late Night with the Devil.
about that if you ever watch that movie, it’s pretty good movie, actually, where he’s like a talk show host and things right yeah it was great. It was a great movie no yeah oh yeah so anyway keep going i’m sorry although i just i talked her ear off because i’m trying to kill time because i’m waiting for like, you know you let you talk your ear off because you’re a good looking young lady that i can stand here next to oh i thought you’re gonna say i was a good looking No, definitely. Yeah, it’s the other way around. No, her better half was there. Blake was there. So, yes. He probably was about ready to punch you. Yeah, because I was wrapping it up. I’m like, you know what? I sound like a complete stalker because I’m mentioning everything I’ve seen on her page in the last five years. Oh, I see you shop at Kmart, too. Wow.
I love those boots. I thought about getting some. Thank you. At the end, she had to be thinking like, this dude knows way too much about me. You’re not just like me. Could I have a lock of hair, please? Just a little lock of hair. I need to do a bit of a spell, but I need a lock of hair first. Yeah. I just felt like a complete stalker. I’m like, I got to get out of here. I’m out, man. I’m done. Were you wearing a shirt that fit? I was, yes. I was wearing a shirt. I can’t say what it was, but yes, I was wearing a shirt that fit. I found a muumuu that I could wear. A picture of her getting her mail. That would be hilarious. Yeah. Her looking around, getting her mail, hoping no one’s watching. Here I am in my car. Here in my car. I’m a regular Jim Rockford. Yeah.
You know, I don’t know what you got those peaches for. You should have went over to that other store. They were a lot cheaper over there. That’s right. You get a lot of Amazon packages. You know, I was kind of looking through them, and I want to say that, yeah, I don’t know. I just like, I got to leave. I got to go. I got to go. Yeah. I did buy some merch. I bought some merch. Oh, did you get a T-shirt or something or what? Yeah, uh, yeah, t-shirt and, uh, signed auto, which i paid money for, so don’t be like, oh. Well, you get some free stuff. It wasn’t working. Did you get free stuff? Yeah, free stuff and then uh so okay so i wrapped it up i go to, is it William? oh Yes, yes, he is the first one back, and he’s got, like, some cowboy mustache going on. I’m like, hey, all right, hey, what’s going on and
And, uh, I did not, I talked to him for a little bit. I didn’t want to, you know, come off like a weirdo, which I already was. You already did over the other. Yeah. Like I’ve already blown my weirdo angles. You know, you were, he, he was not a woman. And so you weren’t really that interested in him. Yeah, that’s true. Yeah. It’s like, well, he’s been in a movie that you’ve seen and that’s the end of it. Yeah, pretty much. No, I go, well, You know, I’m like, okay, let’s get a picture, and I’ll get an autograph and all that stuff. I go, oh, man, all you Hollywood guys are so freaking skinny, and here I am going to have to suck it up now. Man, Jesus. Was he super skinny or something? Well, I mean, come on. When you live out there in movies, I mean, you’ve got to be, you know, you can’t be looking like me walking around, you know. You can’t look like Louis Anderson walking around. There’s only so many, like, you know.
parts like a john candy type of guy walking around there’s only so many parts for that you know no he was cool i go hey just tell me roddy mcdowell was cool some big rod mcdowell he was yes he was very cool and all that uh i go hey i go okay this is good this is a weird question i go but have you ever been mistaken for the guy from gremlins he goes oh all the time all the time zach what was his name? Zach uh Yeah, Zach. But he goes, no, he goes, we were actually at a signing together. We were sitting right by each other. Really? Oh, really? He goes, oh, yeah, no, he’s a cool dude. Yeah, he goes, but yeah, people do confuse us from time to time. They got dark hair and they look alike. Back in the day, I mean, I don’t know what the other guy looks like now, but back in the day, they kind of had that look, you know, the same look. They had a certain look to them, yeah. Yeah. And then I went over and met with, is it Joffrey? Yeah.
Galligan? Was his name zach Galligan, I think? Uh, yeah, that sounds right, yeah. That sounds right. Zach Galligan, and then i met with evil Ed. Hey, Miles! Uh, Joffrey. Yeah, this guy, I don’t know. No, he was not doing that whole bit, man. This dude is like, I don’t want to be mean. I’m just not going to go into it i won’t i told you to look at his imdb page before you went to me i did I did. Did you notice anything about it? No. Okay. Why? He has been in some adult movies. Oh, I didn’t see that part. Of a same gender persuasion. Oh, okay. And they’re in his IMDB listing. Oh, I didn’t know. I guess I didn’t. Maybe I went to his wiki page. So boys being boys just seemed like a regular title to you whenever you were. Hey, my friend. Point this out to me. I just want to know. How did that work out for you? On another podcast, because you know I don’t like to talk about this with you because you get so mad. I reviewed Fright Night.
for another podcast and as part of my research i was reading everybody’s imdb pages you know i’m so glad i didn’t now i’m still reading his and i’m like and this was after fright night yeah yeah yeah not too long after it yeah and so yeah i was like i yeah I’m glad I didn’t now because I think that would have really changed the whole experience for me. Miles, you look familiar. Do we work together? I bet you rented every one of my movies. I bet. You closeted jerk. I’m doing a retrospective. Yeah. Yeah, so anyway, he was in some gay porn movies. Oh, okay. I don’t know. And I was hoping – I didn’t want to say that to you ahead of time. I wanted you to discover it. No, I looked at his wiki page. I didn’t really see anything that really stood out. I’m like, okay, yeah, okay. So Evil Ed was – he was not your kind of guy is what you’re saying? I don’t – I don’t know. I don’t want to get sued. It looked like he came off a bender or something. I don’t know. Well, he’s Evil Ed. I don’t know. He seemed – huh? He’s Evil Ed, of course. Yeah, no, yeah, I think –
He looked like he was not prepared to be out in the daylight or something. I don’t know. He was in a movie called Fraternity Vacation as well earlier than Fright Night. And boys will be boys. And then, yeah, later ones were a little bit more suspect. Oh, I’m glad I didn’t ask him about that. Darn it. I was hoping you would look that up. Oh, my friend Bob wanted me to ask. Because you never do anything. Bob wanted me to know if you were a bottom or the top. And so then I met the final, Amanda Beers, met her. Amanda Beers, married with children. She’s a director. She directs. Yeah, no. Yeah, we had a nice talk. No, we had a nice, we didn’t talk long. I mean, if William was cool, what was Amanda? No, I enjoyed our time together. Yeah, no, she was very nice. I’m so glad we had this time.
No, she helped me pick out an eight by 10. She goes, here, get this one. Get this. I think you’d like this. Yeah. And I said, okay. I think you would be, you, even though Amanda Beers is, is a, you know, well, um, you know, she’s been out for quite some time. Right. So, but even still, yeah, I think you’d be much more chummy with her than any of the rest of them. Yeah. Hey, if you can appeal to both men and women, um, You know, hey, that’s kind of a compliment, I think. She was certainly in Friday Night. She was a cutie. Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t care. Whatever, you know, play the cards you got. I don’t care. Yeah. No, all good. Yeah. And then obviously she’s very talented. No, she’s very talented. I go, I love Married with Children. And I go, I’m just a little bit older than Christina, you know. So she goes, oh, you watched from the very beginning. I go, yes, I did. Oh, yes, I did. Yeah, well, you did.
I didn’t say why I watched, but yes. Yeah, you did. I’m a little older than Christina. That’s what you watched for. I probably would have been in jail, matter of fact. And we talked about Fright Night a little bit, and I go, I liked it. That’s the kind of movie I like. It was entertaining. It was fun. I go, I just cannot watch movies where people are realistically being chopped up and tortured and all that. I agree. He goes, I agree. I go, I would just say. It’s kind of campy in a way. Yeah, that’s good. You’re just used to that. I’m like, okay, I like that. I don’t like, I don’t know. Like the Saw movies. Chris Sarandon was the vampire. He was great. Oh, I asked about that. I was talking to William. I go, doesn’t he usually play a bad guy? Because I don’t know all his filmography.
He goes, well, no, he can play the good guy’s bad guy. He goes, well, he did play Jesus. I go, well. He goes, I don’t know how you feel about that. But I’m like, oh, no, I’m down with JC, man. I’m down. Oh, OK. Well, there you go. I’m down with it. I’m down with it. And so anyway, just to wrap this up, because we’ve been going along here real quickly. But I thought you might get a kick out of this. So I told you I went to a thing like this a few years ago. They were selling oddities and stuff. Oh, yeah. What did you find this time? Christ. Okay, so that time, a few years ago, there was a guy that had a bunch of stuff pickled in the jars, and in a jar was a cat’s head, and i took its picture, and you were all yeah like don’t ever send that to me, which i did, just because i thought i was dying once an asshole, you know. I’m an asshole, right? Anyway, I find another booth just like this right but there’s no there’s no one there. There’s no one there, and, like, all this stuff i don’t is
What is that? I don’t know. Is it resin or whatever it is? You put like the animals or like insects and it hardens. It’s clear. Amber. You know what I’m saying? I don’t know. Resin. I don’t know what it’s called. But anyway, so that happens. And this guy finally shows up like, oh, hey. And I go, hey, I’m going to tell you a story about something in Chicago. I saw a booth just like this. I’m going to blow your mind, right? Yeah, right. He goes, that was me. He goes, yeah. Yeah, no, he’s like this hippie looking dude he goes yeah lay it on me and what do you got? I go, and as i did that, I looked up on the shelf. What do i see? What? Not one, but two cat’s heads in jars that’s what did you say then? You’re like, wait a minute. I go, I was about ready to blow your mind with this cat head story, and lo and behold, you just blew my mind with
And he starts going to this story about, well, it was really my girlfriend’s cat or something like, you know what? I, I just tuned it off from there. I just like totally blanked out. Like, you know, like a soldier that’s in a war movie and an explosion goes by him and I still got it. And I still, Oh God, I’m sorry, man. I don’t like to get down on people or this or that, but I might, I mean, you’re just, You’re one step away from a serial killer. I’m sorry, man. You buy stuff. I concur. I concur. There’s no way. If no one said that was a gift, I’d be like, no, get the F out. In Arizona, I bought a scorpion encased in amber, I think. Oddly enough, I’m okay with that. Oddly enough, I’m okay with that. For some reason, it does not seem as bad as a pickled cat’s head. There’s something about a pickled toucan.
One was like an orange and white cat, and one was kind of like a darker cat. Did you take pictures? No, I did not. Because this one, it’s almost like it had a neck, too. It wasn’t just his head, like his neck, too. Oh, geez, part of the spine. I go, who in the hell? You know? Yeah, I know. And you say, hey, Amanda, look over here. Yeah, I go, you know, this place in Chicago, they were also selling human bones. He goes, oh, well, that is kind of legal, actually. Yeah, you can do that. Well, you remember, I used to handle human bones back in college, remember? Yeah. No, I guess you can. I guess there’s only four states where you can’t sell human bones, I guess, or something. He’s like, oh, yeah, you can, yeah. Which I wouldn’t buy either. Like, gotten by, you know, Jeffrey Dahmer could have had a store. Yeah, I went to…
I went to Cahokia or whatever. I would not buy that either because that’s bad juju, man. There’s no way. I think the cat was bad juju myself. Yeah, I think the cat’s head or human bones, which this guy did not have at the time. I don’t even think I’d do the scorpion thing again, to be honest with you. Yeah, I think I had one. Actually, I know I had one at one time. It was a scorpion sucker. That was it. Yeah, yeah. think i gave it to a friend at work. Yeah. So there you go. So that was my going to eat it, unfortunately. Yeah, I’d throw it away like nope it’s set on set in a windowsill for a long time nope nope so all in all is good how much did you spend? uh Marlena Midnight, how much?
I can’t really go into say. I can’t really. Why not? There’s my wife right across the room here. I’m not sure. Okay, so Marley and Midnight, $40. Just say yes or no. I spent over a C note. Really? Yes. Well, I mean, that’s a lot of people. I mean, you know. Yeah, yeah. One, two, three, four, you know, celebrities. Yeah. with pictures, right? I spent too much, but where we live, there’s like very few celebrities that come in. I mean, you don’t really get a lot of, I mean, you got to live in a certain, like the bigger towns, maybe they’re like Des Moines and Quad Cities, you know, but you know, everywhere else, it’s like, very slim pickings. Yeah. Well, that’s nice. I bet, to me, the big get out of that, I mean, Marlena Midnight was a big get, but that’s local.
But Amanda Bierce, I would be, yeah, that’s a good one. Yeah, just, you know, I just, Married with Children. I’m sorry. I love that show, man. I used to watch it all the time. Basically, it built Fox television network at the time. I was not going to say this, but I know she had a huge falling out with Ed O’Neill. Ed O’Neill, yeah. Which I was not going to mention at all. No, she was really cool. Everyone was really cool. Uh, you know the handler that all of them have a handler or no? No, it’s just like local volunteers. Oh, okay. I didn’t i was just curious and uh yeah i’m trying to get my picture taken with amanda and like uh helpers like, well, I’ll just, well, obviously we have to use your phone sir i’m like yeah okay good luck uh huh here’s my pink phone. Yeah, she’s like your this screen is awful sticky it’s all sticky he goes what’s what’s your
I don’t know your code to get in your phone. It’s like these dots. I don’t either. I go, I don’t know. I go, you’re the mathematician wizard. You figure it out. I don’t know how to use it either. No, but no, everyone was cool. I could say, you know, people want you to buy stuff. And I’m like, I don’t know. Yeah. Buy my book. I go, I quit reading. I don’t read anymore. I don’t know how to read anymore. I lost the ability. I get tired. I start reading. I fall asleep. I’m like, I do. That’s funny. It’s hard to read with my mask on for my CPAP machine. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah. But yeah, that’s the kookiness, which is my life. You’re like, honey, I’m your dirty uncle.
Yeah, right? Yeah. So you were interested in going to that, really? No kidding. Well, I thought about it. I did. Most times I mention stuff, you’re like, no, no. I mean, they just had a big one down here, GalaxyCon, across the river here. Yeah. But, I mean, those are all so expensive. I mean, the places that you go, the cornfields are so much cheaper. Yeah. Yeah. And then every once in a while they get a good person in, you know, so. Right. Right. Yeah. I probably, I probably would have just bummed around and watched you spend money. Yeah. I’d be like i’m gonna be judgmental the whole time. I’d be like, I’m not paying for that. Come on. This is why he can’t go on three family vacations like i just did. That’s right. That’s right. Yeah. The guy who sits in judgment of me, like. I’m not judging you. Ask. You are.
you are you’re judging yes you judge that’s not where i want to i don’t want to yes yes you get all judgmental you’re like no must be nice. you weren’t football players well football players make sense i mean although that’s the football players make total sense. The gay porn stars, not so much. Hey, how many times do i meet pseudo gay porn star you know i don’t know. I mean, I know you, I guess. Probably all the time. I don’t know. I don’t know. Well, I’m glad you went. I’m glad you had a good time. No, I enjoyed it. I’m really glad that you got to meet Amanda Beers. Yeah, pretty cool.
