Do you ever wake up feeling good, then suddenly remember all your financial stress and it drags you down? That's where I'm at.

In this episode, I'm trying something new: the "open threads" recording method. No outline, no script—just hitting record and following where my mind goes when I'm stressed about money, work, and negative self-talk.

I've been meditating daily for 3+ years, and here's the truth: meditation helps, but it doesn't make the financial anxiety go away. It's still there, like a gray filter over life. My mind keeps telling me things won't get better, that I should borrow money this month, that everyone else has it figured out except me.

This episode wanders through:
- The intrusive thoughts that meditation helps me observe (a thought moment involving a DoorDash robot )
- The judgment voices that argue about eating ice cream while I'm eating ice cream
- Why I'm still in gig work 8 years after a soul-crushing call center job
- Working 50+ hours a week while job hunting with no results
- The shame of borrowing money from friends and family
- Trying to make delivery work fun by pretending I'm in Death Stranding
- A guided meditation on experiencing your hand and thinking of someone you love
- Practical meditation instructions for when thoughts hijack you

If you're struggling financially, working too much, and your mind won't shut up about it—this one's for you. It's messy, it's real, and it's exactly what trying to let go actually looks like.

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Standing Nowhere is a contemplative spirituality podcast exploring mindfulness, meditation, and what it means to be human through vulnerable storytelling.