Strap in, because today we meet the one, the only, ESMÉ GELLER! Universally-renowned author of “A Universal Guide To The Universe,” today’s customer brings a new and insightful lens to the shop! Leelah DOESN’T slap her friends, Zaiden is in agony over a fictional character, and Periwinkle does the sign-off! Plus, a 7-hour ranting session, ACTUAL banshees, starfire-melded metal scraps that can withstand lightspeed leaping, being smart about smart things, and a stunned jackalope! When philosophy meets astronomy, what could possibly go wrong?