Coming soon - a FIVE WEEK special considering what would have happened if Matt and Kimberly had run off together after season three when they were both facing charges for murder.

Mystery.

Crime.

Murder.

Intrigue.

All this, and more.

All. July. Long.

In an epic collaboration between different intellectual properties, the cast of Melrose Place must confront enemies darker and more mysterious than ever before.

Well, everything wraps up and ends. It is a sad, sad say for Teege and Mary, as the Models, Inc. 'Cast comes to its inevitable end. Of course, we knew there was no second season when we started, but it doesn't make it any easier.

Grayson's promised hitman arrives, accidentally killing Grayson at the wedding WITH NO VIABLE ESCAPE ROUTE, and chloroforms Carrie to Hell, Baby, Hooker Hell, somewhere in Central America.

Sarah's dad comes to town and punches Ben in order to defend Sarah from her addictions. Turns out, he is an alcoholic as well, swearing off the drink the day Sarah was born.

Anna is persona non grata in Models, Inc., and falls down the stairs with Cynthia and Julie walking away, leaving her to crawl to a phone on her own.

Hillary closes Models, Inc., just in time for Craig to propose to Julie.

Like that, the show, and this spin-off podcast, is over.

It's almost over - unless someone comes through with the Models, Inc. reboot we've all been hoping for!

This is the second to last episode ... and the final one before Mary watches the show again before recording a podcast about it. Does that mean she has been coming to this spin-off unprepared? You decide.

Eric leaves his lady for good.

Sarah has to turn on Grayson after failing a drug test, stripping with no memory of it, accidentally giving away $40,000 for one dance, and getting fired from her big Ann York campaign.

Anna sleeps with the Director of Skin Deep in order to get the role based on Julie. When confronted by her step-sister, she says of course she slept with the Director to get the job - she was playing Julie, after all!

Finally, Grayson wins custody of her baby thanks to blackmailing the judge for his "judicial restraint." Then, she loses custody when the judge is re-blackmailed for his "judicial restraint."

It all ends next month!

Is it Billy was flying high and crashed with Amanda? Or Michael's newfound commitment to his wife? Peter's chance with Amanda? Amanda's new contract? Who knows - whatever went up is now coming down.

Melrose Place, now featuring child abuse. Or, are we going to find out that Lori's just a single mom who works too hard, who loves her kid and never stops, with a gentle hand and a heart of a fighter, she's a survivor?

Bobby and Sydney are going to nowhere interesting, and fast. How is it that Bobby is living in Melrose Place and Amanda doesn't seem to care?

Alison brought her alcoholism to work for a day, picking up shifts at Shooter's after quitting D&D last night and this morning, in the longest box packing ever.

Matt is becoming a jaded gay. Ah, all the twinks get there. Too many wild canyon parties. But David turned out to be a jerk, somehow. Plus it seems that Alan just left, off screen. Okay, queen.

Can this title have been any more in appropriately selected? One google search for Triumph of the Will and we feel like we're on a watch list somewhere.

Anyway - this week was fun. Amanda suddenly has a boss that's part of the ol' boys network, who totally has a bromance for Billy. To get her way to the top (?) of the agency that she is currently President of, she sleeps with Billy, while staring at the ceiling. To make it more demeaning, they did it at the conference, with Billy (presumably) loud enough for everyone to hear.

Rita is here - as the new version of Kimberly / Betsy - and she is a bad ass boss bitch.

Alison quits D&D over discomfort with the ethics.

Also, a big healthy dose of Julie Newmar.

We have an all new special guest - the Boring undertaker herself comes on to discuss Melrose Place, and maybe, just maybe, confront Melrose Mary about the appropriate care of human cremains.

Also, we talk about all things Melrose Place. Matt's sexuality, his relationships with David and Alan, Sydney, Peter, Amanda, and everyone in between.

Look, we recorded this episode two weeks ago and I can't remember the plot details as I write it - but also Jane and Jo and Richard are fighting.

We're heading headlong into the series finale, and there's just enough time to wrap things up messily.

Sarah from Iowa is getting hooked on drugs by Ben, formerly Adam's goon, now Grayson's goon. This will drive Sarah into Hookers, Inc.

Carrie is already in Hookers, Inc., having been driven to failure as a waitress by Grayson. She comes in handy when Grayson needs to blackmail a judge.

Julie and Anna are heating up, as only step-sisters can. SISTERS! Anna all out kisses Craig in the hot tub, so what exactly is her deal?

Finally, as always, the real stories are with Grayson. A power struggle with Hillary is on a slow boil. Custody struggles with Adam over Daniel, including false police reports and ignored restraining orders. Adam says the nanny is a regular "Mary Poppins" before she promptly calls the police.

Things are nearing an end, after two and a half years of monthly podcast episodes - there's just two more left!

OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH IT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING!

We interrupt your regular stream of Melrose Place content to discuss our hopes, dreams, and fears for the new Melrose Place Reboot.

Imagine, if you will, Matt operating as a more dutiful best man / gay of honor for Michael and Sydney's wedding in season two? What would have happened if he had hired Rhonda's Culinary Funk to do the catering?

"Does Michael know about this?"