Memoirs to Millions

"Unhealed women are hard to love, and healed men are hard to find."

Asher Wright, Dr. Renesha Nichols, and Joshua Fields come back to the table for round seven with three topics and the numbers behind them. Black men are hard to love. We're not lonely, we're choosing to be alone. Have fun in your 20s, work in your 60s.

Dr. Renesha asks how Black men heal, and why the woman at home who believes in him so often takes the brunt. Joshua talks about earning less than he did five years ago, what his therapist told him about providing, and the day his mother asked him to shave his father's face. Then Dr. Renesha puts one question to the men: money, sex, or love. Keep two. Let one go.

Which one would you let go?

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Prefer to listen? Memoirs to Millions is on your podcast app too:
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/memoirs-to-millions/id1896851324
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/389CRBHBO0eVnegeaCZCaf
Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/e7510ea0-b478-4fbb-b31d-4457625a0d05

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TOPICS ON THE DOCKET

00:00 Cold open

01:38 More time alone than the generations before us, and we call it peace

03:20 Topic one: Black men are hard to love, and the numbers

04:18 Is it about them, or about what we expect from them?

04:54 Dr. Renesha: unhealed women are hard to love, healed men are hard to find

06:47 How do Black men heal?

06:53 Asher: men want peace, women want to feel safe

07:32 Joshua: safety, the labor market, and history

12:44 Joshua: love is conditional

13:26 Dr. Renesha: the woman who believed in him first

15:53 What does "hard to love" mean?

17:24 Who files for divorce, and what men lose after

19:08 "Josh, are you healed?"

21:51 If she earns more, who provides?

23:39 Joshua: what he had to work out in therapy

25:02 "Just because you're not earning that paycheck does not mean you're not providing"

28:29 Dr. Renesha: "I don't think Black men go to therapy"

30:44 Topic two: we're not lonely, we're choosing to be alone

31:53 Dr. Renesha: lonely, and telling ourselves we're comfortable

33:08 Joshua: alone to recharge, or alone to avoid getting hurt

34:10 The dance class, and who leads

35:58 The 80-year Harvard study on happiness

36:44 Men are performing masculinity at a crushing rate

37:59 Asher: the weight of the throne

39:09 Where does a man go to rest?

40:20 Dr. Renesha: a safe space without judgment

41:02 Money, sex, or love: keep two, let one go

41:54 Asher: put respect in place of love

43:26 Joshua: "It's not even real"

44:58 The sales team that ran on vibes

46:23 Civilized to Death, and the price of progress

47:23 Asher: we live in a transactional world

48:39 Topic three: have fun in your 20s, work in your 60s

49:21 Waiting until you're financially stable: wisdom, or fear dressed up as planning?

50:21 Dr. Renesha: starting a family in her 20s

52:04 "Pause right here": how the choices change at 40

53:44 Joshua: longer lives, more choices

55:46 Trading connection for titles

58:22 Dr. Renesha: depressed millionaires, and who you want with you at the end

60:39 Joshua: his father's last days

63:45 "You are going to be impacted painfully by the person you love"

65:34 Dr. Renesha: it's hard to choose someone who doesn't choose you back

67:08 Joshua: nobody's wrong, and who benefits from fear

70:10 Asher: get ourselves on camera

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IDEAS & REFERENCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Civilized to Death: The Price of Progress, by Christopher Ryan

The Harvard Study of Adult Development

The U.S. Surgeon General's advisory on loneliness

"What's Love Got to Do With It" (Tina Turner)

"Men know who to love, but not how. Women know how to love, but not who."

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CONNECT WITH THE ROUNDTABLE

Joshua Fields, Listening Room Collective: https://www.listeningroomcollective.com

Joshua Fields, LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joshua-a-fields

Dr. Renesha Nichols, Reset & Restart: https://www.resetrestartrr.com

Dr. Renesha Nichols, LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-renesha-nichols-dsw-lcsw-6b477776

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CONNECT WITH ASHER WRIGHT

Memoirs to Millions: https://memoirstomillions.com

Life Changing Wisdom Marketplace: https://lifechangingwisdom.com

Weekly Intel Newsletter: https://m2mweeklyintel.com

100 Books That Changed How I Think: https://asheralbertwright.com/1000bookchallenge

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/asherawwright

Facebook: https://facebook.com/lcwforu

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ABOUT MEMOIRS TO MILLIONS

Asher Wright is a 22-year US Army veteran, Jamaican immigrant, and 7x published author. He helps veterans, immigrants, and entrepreneurs turn their life stories into published books that build authority and income.

#MemoirsToMillions #MTMRoundtable #JoshuaFields #DrReneshaNichols #BlackMen #Loneliness #Relationships #Healing

Two sheets of paper meant you failed. One sheet meant you passed. Vanessa Iceton walked out with two sheets eleven times. On the twelfth try, they handed her three. She waited until the elevator doors closed to read her score: 527. She told that story in Mindset Coward. This conversation picks up where the book ends.

On this episode of the Memoirs to Millions Podcast, Asher and Vanessa go Beyond the Book: a launch night for about sixty people, a first keynote built around twelve rounds in a boxing ring, and a practice she now runs three days a week by choice. They test five maxims about stubbornness, belief, and ambition, and Vanessa names the exam that mattered more than the one on paper: passing her own self.

She also explains why the chapter she almost cut became the one readers see themselves in.

Welcome Vanessa Iceton to the Memoirs to Millions Podcast.

Prefer to listen? Memoirs to Millions is on your podcast app too:
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/memoirs-to-millions/id1896851324
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/389CRBHBO0eVnegeaCZCaf

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CHAPTERS

00:00 Cold open
01:19 Two sheets meant fail, one meant pass, and the day she got three: 527
02:15 What changed since the book: the launch, the speaking academy, and a consultant
04:12 Her first big stage at the Inspire and Awaken conference
06:32 Workshops for people who can't afford therapy
06:57 How the book made her busy
08:14 Twelve rounds in the ring: when the lie is your opponent
09:37 Does failing eleven times make a psychologist more qualified, or less?
11:54 Turning over the leaf: why we hide our failures
12:42 What she'd tell someone who hasn't shared their story yet
15:24 Who she's trying to reach now
17:10 The exam on paper versus the exam in her mind
19:09 Passing your own self
21:26 Successful at failing: the reframe that stuck
22:49 The belief that belonged to someone else
24:12 Maxim: stubborn is what we call a calling that won't leave
26:15 Do it even if others don't like it, and the hand raised on stage
28:08 Maxim: passing the test and passing the belief are two different exams
29:46 Maxim: a finished book is a floor, not a ceiling
31:03 The chapter she almost cut, and how her family received it
36:12 Younger at forty: what changed since her first podcast
39:19 Maxim: telling your story once frees you
42:08 Maxim: ambition grows in the space a finished goal leaves behind
44:02 Ages ten to twelve: a new school, and a best friend since grade seven
50:52 The kindest act: gifts from clients, and a box of chocolates painted with hope
52:45 Rapid fire: Shrinking, three books, and the CBT thought record
55:01 Mount Rushmore
56:07 Biggest takeaway: recognizing the growth

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GET THE BOOK

Mindset Coward, co-authored by Vanessa Iceton: https://lifechangingwisdom.com/product/mindset-coward/

Ready to write your own story? Start here: https://memoirstomillions.com/vanessa

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IDEAS & REFERENCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins: https://link.amazon/B03epOATd
Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab: https://link.amazon/B0bdEm5E5
The Grief Recovery Handbook by John W. James and Russell Friedman: https://link.amazon/B09dv7QQi
Shrinking: the Apple TV+ series about a therapist, Vanessa's current watch
The CBT thought record: the tool she reaches for to reset a spiraling thought
Inspire and Awaken: the women's leadership and wellness conference where she gave her keynote

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CONNECT WITH VANESSA ICETON

Website: https://pearlpsychological.com
Book a session: https://pearlpsychological.janeapp.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pearlpsychological
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PearlPsychological
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vanessa-iceton-468a6432
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@pearlpsychological
All links: https://linktr.ee/pearlpsychological

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CONNECT WITH ASHER WRIGHT

Memoirs to Millions: https://memoirstomillions.com
Life Changing Wisdom Marketplace: https://lifechangingwisdom.com
Weekly Intel Newsletter: https://m2mweeklyintel.com
100 Books That Changed How I Think: https://asheralbertwright.com/1000bookchallenge
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/asherawwright
Facebook: https://facebook.com/lcwforu

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ABOUT MEMOIRS TO MILLIONS

Asher Wright is a 22-year US Army veteran, Jamaican immigrant, and 7x published author. He helps veterans, immigrants, and entrepreneurs turn their life stories into published books that build authority and income.

#MemoirsToMillions #VanessaIceton #MindsetCoward #BeyondTheBook #SuccessfulAtFailing

We stopped committing, and our children are paying for it.

Asher Wright, Joshua Fields, Dr. Renesha Nichols, and Adaeze Iloeje-Udeogalanya come back to the table for the question the last roundtable left open: what would happen if we waited for commitment before sex, before moving in, before having children?

Joshua asks what we expect commitment to protect us from. Dr. Renesha describes dating that runs like a transaction, and what that costs families of color. Adaeze, raised by a Nigerian grandfather who told his daughters to finish their education before they chose a husband, says a marriage lasts when two people agree on where they are going. Then the table splits on protection. Asher says a woman who feels protected gets to be more of herself. Adaeze asks who women need protecting from.

This is round six. What are we promising each other?

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TOPICS ON THE DOCKET

00:00 Cold open
01:30 Back to the table: what if we waited for commitment?
02:39 Joshua: what do we expect commitment to protect us from?
05:14 Dr. Renesha: when dating runs like a transaction
07:22 Dr. Renesha: the house with a leak, and the escape route
08:43 Adaeze: the wayward woman, and where is the man?
10:01 The role-reversal video
12:28 If women had written the scriptures
13:21 Joshua: the pyramids, and the need to control
16:24 Is marriage a transaction?
19:20 Dr. Renesha: what is marriage for?
19:51 Joshua: what he tells his daughters
22:46 Adaeze: the Nigerian grandfather who raised equals
25:34 "I don't want to raise the son I would not marry"
26:21 Love, partnership, and where you are going together
27:38 Asher: the man goes out to hunt
28:24 Joshua: Titanic, and no guarantees
31:54 Dr. Renesha: meeting the need without security
33:20 Adaeze: elevate your needs
35:07 Dr. Renesha: unconditional responsibility and what we pass down
36:49 Asher: who protects her?
38:16 When a man protects a woman, she gets to be more woman
38:30 Joshua: biology, survival, and roles
40:29 Would a man ever say he doesn't need a woman?
43:12 Adaeze: protected from whom?
44:39 Asher: the planet has been trying to kill us since we got here
45:57 Dr. Renesha: women are responding to the absence of men
48:04 Adaeze: the load women carry alone
50:52 "I don't need a man" as relief
51:09 Joshua: "nobody's wrong," and what social media sells us
54:26 Pumpkin pie and the narratives we inherit
55:46 Asher: delegation and asking for help
56:55 Adaeze: what the data shows, and the house that fell apart in seven days
1:01:32 Closing takeaways
1:05:33 Asher: plant your flag and pay the price
1:06:53 Joshua: a double-minded man, and The Matrix

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IDEAS & REFERENCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Titanic (film)
The Matrix (film)
"A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways" (James 1:8)
The lukewarm passage (Revelation 3:16)
The "man or bear" debate on social media

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CONNECT WITH THE ROUNDTABLE

Joshua Fields, Listening Room Collective: https://www.listeningroomcollective.com
Joshua Fields, LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joshua-a-fields
Dr. Renesha Nichols, Reset & Restart: https://www.resetrestartrr.com
Dr. Renesha Nichols, LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-renesha-nichols-dsw-lcsw-6b477776
Adaeze Iloeje-Udeogalanya, African Women in STEM: https://africanwomeninstem.com
Adaeze Iloeje-Udeogalanya, LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adaeze-iloeje-udeogalanya

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CONNECT WITH ASHER WRIGHT

Memoirs to Millions: https://memoirstomillions.com
Life Changing Wisdom Marketplace: https://lifechangingwisdom.com
Weekly Intel Newsletter: https://m2mweeklyintel.com
100 Books That Changed How I Think: https://asheralbertwright.com/1000bookchallenge
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/asherawwright
Facebook: https://facebook.com/lcwforu

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ABOUT MEMOIRS TO MILLIONS

Asher Wright is a 22-year US Army veteran, Jamaican immigrant, and 7x published author. He helps veterans, immigrants, and entrepreneurs turn their life stories into published books that build authority and income.

The ego keeps secrets. Your purpose is to tell them.

Last roundtable ran out of time before it reached two of its topics, so Asher Wright, Joshua Fields, and Dr. Renesha Nichols come back to the table for them: what the church has given the Black community and what it has cost, and the strong Black woman, a compliment that may be wearing her down.

Joshua explains why a stranger at a bar can get our truth while the people we love get the front. Dr. Renesha brings a social worker's view of the church's role in the community and where trust broke down. Joshua, who spent 17 years in the Church of God in Christ, asks whose hands shaped the book. Then the table turns to the strong Black woman, and what happens when people expect her to carry the load and stop asking what she needs.

This is round five, and the secrets came out.

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TOPICS ON THE DOCKET

00:00 Cold open
01:30 The ego keeps secrets, and your purpose is to tell them
03:08 Dr. Renesha: people tell the version that feels acceptable
03:49 Joshua: some things are going to the grave
05:09 Why a stranger gets the truth and family gets the front
08:06 Growing up in church: Baptist, Adventist, and the roots of social work
10:18 Faith versus religion
11:29 Men who go to church and men who don't
14:12 Joshua: 17 years in the Church of God in Christ
16:03 Contradictions wherever people gather around values
18:11 Was the Bible intimidating? The human fingerprints on the text
22:10 Dr. Renesha: why she sees it as more than a book
26:11 Books change lives, and the telephone game of history
30:30 Allegory or history, Desmond Tutu on language, and the slave Bible
33:07 Hierarchy, one-upping, and why people look to a leader
36:00 Native ways of living, Columbus, and religion in conquest
39:56 Dr. Renesha: a culture robbed of its own way of being
45:01 The Bible as a book of leadership, and questions that met pushback
47:40 Who held the pen?
48:56 The strong Black woman: a compliment that's killing us?
52:47 Strength, commitment, and who stays
54:54 Joshua: sex, commitment, and the fairy-tale script
58:16 Flag on the play: what Black families are paying
59:53 Children and commitment
1:02:14 Dr. Renesha: settling, tolerating, and the children in the middle
1:05:40 "This is an expensive conversation"
1:06:24 What if Black men set the standard for commitment?
1:10:06 Teaching love and commitment as skills
1:12:32 Closing takeaways: commitment to self, and nobody being wrong

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IDEAS & REFERENCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Desmond Tutu on the power of language: "Language does not just describe reality. Language creates the reality it describes."
The Slave Bible (an 1807 edition with passages removed)
King James Version and New International Version of the Bible
Rich Dad Poor Dad, by Robert Kiyosaki
The Matrix (film)

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CONNECT WITH THE ROUNDTABLE

Joshua Fields, Listening Room Collective: https://www.listeningroomcollective.com
Joshua Fields, LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joshua-a-fields
Dr. Renesha Nichols, Reset & Restart: https://www.resetrestartrr.com
Dr. Renesha Nichols, LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-renesha-nichols-dsw-lcsw-6b477776

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CONNECT WITH ASHER WRIGHT

Memoirs to Millions: https://memoirstomillions.com
Life Changing Wisdom Marketplace: https://lifechangingwisdom.com
Weekly Intel Newsletter: https://m2mweeklyintel.com
100 Books That Changed How I Think: https://asheralbertwright.com/1000bookchallenge
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/asherawwright
Facebook: https://facebook.com/lcwforu

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ABOUT MEMOIRS TO MILLIONS

Asher Wright is a 22-year US Army veteran, Jamaican immigrant, and 7x published author. He helps veterans, immigrants, and entrepreneurs turn their life stories into published books that build authority and income.

Jenny Locklin walks onstage as somebody else. A breathing expert, a college official, a brand-new hire. Then she drops the act, and the audience that came in braced for another serious session leaves laughing, connected, and ready to work. She calls it The Undercover Speaker. She's a two-time Toastmasters humorous speech contest winner and the speaking partner of her father, Hall of Fame speaker Joel Weldon.

On this episode of the Memoirs to Millions Podcast, Asher and Jenny dig into humor as a medium for a message. They talk about why self-deprecating humor keeps people from feeling attacked, how to train your brain to spot the funny in ordinary life, and why fictional targets let an audience laugh together without a real target getting hurt.

Jenny also tells the story of a hospital week that went from talk of amputation to two words from a fourth doctor, and the laugh that carried her family through it.

Welcome Jenny Locklin to the Memoirs to Millions Podcast.

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CHAPTERS

00:00 Cold open
00:48 Meet Jenny Locklin, The Undercover Speaker
02:57 The rock: how an ordinary life becomes a story worth telling
03:57 Talk without being offensive, listen without being defensive
04:30 Laugh at yourself first, and five subway sandwiches tall
07:37 What laughter does for your body, and why it bonds strangers
11:48 Training your brain to spot humor: the red Honda Civic effect
14:25 Saturday Night Live at four years old, and the class clown years
15:50 Why Asher is funnier than he gives himself credit for
16:43 How to get funnier, and why you skip announcing a funny story
18:40 The F.A.R.T. slide, and why fictional targets keep humor safe
21:30 Maxim: chase the laugh. Dr. Lisa Brower and the animal breathing hoax
27:39 A niche problem, not a niche market: the boring conference
29:48 Maxim: story beats fact. The Mo Creme hospital story
36:27 Maxim: truth said badly, and the topics she keeps off stage
39:16 Maxim: the disguise, and how The Undercover Speaker began
41:42 The 37-minute Mistake Break
46:00 Growing up in Scottsdale, and a good childhood as an obligation
49:20 The birthday party that happened yesterday
54:57 The kindest act: if you see something, say something
56:40 Rapid fire: The Office, three books, and Toastmasters
1:01:13 Mount Rushmore: the woman who showed her what not to become
1:04:47 Biggest takeaway: ask better questions

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IDEAS & REFERENCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

The Universe Has Your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein: https://amzn.to/4s4FoIH
I Can't Make This Up: Life Lessons by Kevin Hart: https://amzn.to/4hLHCZZ
The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins: https://amzn.to/3TFijzD
Dry Bar Comedy: clean stand-up, the channel Jenny recommends for training your ear
Toastmasters International: https://www.toastmasters.org

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CONNECT WITH JENNY LOCKLIN

Website: https://jennylocklin.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennylocklin
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jennylocklinspeaker
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chatwithJennyWeldonLocklin
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7W5_oGZAtl0yN9Rq26wNQg
Speaker coaching with Jenny and Joel Weldon: https://www.ultimatespeaker.com
Programs: The Undercover Speaker keynotes and Wellness with a Wink™ virtual wellness sessions, booked through jennylocklin.com

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CONNECT WITH ASHER WRIGHT

Memoirs to Millions: https://memoirstomillions.com
Life Changing Wisdom Marketplace: https://lifechangingwisdom.com
Weekly Intel Newsletter: https://m2mweeklyintel.com
100 Books That Changed How I Think: https://asheralbertwright.com/1000bookchallenge
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/asherawwright
Facebook: https://facebook.com/lcwforu

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ABOUT MEMOIRS TO MILLIONS

Asher Wright is a 22-year US Army veteran, Jamaican immigrant, and 7x published author. He helps veterans, immigrants, and entrepreneurs turn their life stories into published books that build authority and income.

On this Round Table conversation with Asher, Adaeze, Joshua, and Dr. Renesha, the four of them put three statements on the docket and agree to take sides. The first one is this: the biggest thing holding Black people back today is us, not the system.

It takes the full hour. Adaeze opens on the side of agency and follows the money through an industry that sells to a community it is not owned by. Joshua holds both at once, walks through what happened to Black labor after slavery, and gets pressed to pick a side anyway. Asher shares the snowboarder's rule, look between the trees and not at them, along with the immigrant mindset he calls two suitcases to success. Dr. Renesha lays out the system as a rigged chess game, with Black Americans as the pawns, and says the real win is a board of your own.

This is round four. One statement, four positions, and the other two still waiting.

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TOPICS ON THE DOCKET

00:00 Cold open

01:19 Three statements, and the rule: pick a side

02:08 Welcome back: Asher Wright, Adaeze Iloeje-Udeogalanya, Joshua Fields, Dr. Renesha Nichols

02:51 Adaeze opens: follow the money through the beauty aisle

03:40 Where the money goes, and when a Black founder exits

05:04 Joshua: the system is real and so is agency

05:33 Unequal access to the labor force, and the divide it put in the house

09:32 Called out for holding both sides

11:47 Dr. Renesha: change comes from the bottom up

13:13 Building a system of our own, and Black Wall Street

14:09 Asher: naive on arrival, then a choice about where to look

15:18 Snowboarding, and looking between the trees

15:56 To move a system you cannot see, you organize

16:54 Joshua: Black Americans are in a unique spot

19:42 What he sees DJing for white families, week after week

22:24 Passing the same problem down one more generation

23:30 Adaeze: the context she arrived without

25:53 Stop working harder and start working smarter

27:11 Permission to be delusional for a second

30:00 Asher: two suitcases to success

31:48 Dr. Renesha: a rigged chess game, and who the pawns are

34:07 The real win is a chess game of your own

36:33 Joshua: nobody is wrong, and the layers behind it

38:15 Jay-Z and the level where you still feel othered

39:30 The Portuguese, guns, and what got traded for them

41:22 Asher: bring in the immigrant mindset and team up

42:04 Black Americans, African neighbors, and the divide between them

43:26 What does being Black mean? Adaeze learned it here

45:40 Raising kids inside a reality she did not grow up in

47:56 The comfort that keeps us still

49:20 Choosing discomfort, and being seen as Black first

50:08 The grace we give big companies and hold back from Black-owned ones

51:31 Does everyone have to go through the struggle?

52:33 Dr. Renesha: do the same divides run through Jamaica and Guyana?

53:23 Asher: the majority on the land, with no power over it

55:07 Power, land, and what it takes to defend what you hold

57:06 Joshua's takeaway: votes in the direction of liberation

58:46 Adaeze's takeaway: stop glorifying the struggle

1:00:10 Dr. Renesha's takeaway: fight for the life you want to live

1:01:50 Asher closes: the comfort crisis

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IDEAS & REFERENCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

The Sociology of Black Americans, taught by Dr. Albert Black, University of Washington

4:44, by Jay-Z (album)

Black Wall Street

The Damon Wayans conversation on Club Shay Shay

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CONNECT WITH THE ROUNDTABLE

Joshua Fields, Listening Room Collective: https://www.listeningroomcollective.com

Joshua Fields, LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joshua-a-fields

Dr. Renesha Nichols, Reset & Restart: https://www.resetrestartrr.com

Dr. Renesha Nichols, LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-renesha-nichols-dsw-lcsw-6b477776

Adaeze Iloeje-Udeogalanya, African Women in STEM: https://africanwomeninstem.com

Adaeze Iloeje-Udeogalanya, LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adaeze-iloeje-udeogalanya

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CONNECT WITH ASHER WRIGHT

Memoirs to Millions: https://memoirstomillions.com

Life Changing Wisdom Marketplace: https://lifechangingwisdom.com

Weekly Intel Newsletter: https://m2mweeklyintel.com

100 Books That Changed How I Think: https://asheralbertwright.com/1000bookchallenge

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/asherawwright

Facebook: https://facebook.com/lcwforu

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ABOUT MEMOIRS TO MILLIONS

Asher Wright is a 22-year US Army veteran, Jamaican immigrant, and 7x published author. He helps veterans, immigrants, and entrepreneurs turn their life stories into published books that build authority and income.

On this Round Table conversation with Asher, Joshua, and Adaeze, they catch up on what each of them is building: a global community for African women in STEM, and a listening room where music is used to keep people still.

Then the conversation turns to what gets hidden along the way. Adaeze describes the mornings she got dressed for a job she had already lost. Joshua talks about owners of multiple businesses who are devastated inside, and counts himself as one of them. They get into what "I'm busy" is covering, why a woman who will give away $100,000 will hesitate to invest $1,000, and what has to be unlearned before that changes.

This is round three. The masks came off.

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TOPICS ON THE DOCKET

00:00 Cold open

01:13 Welcome back: Asher Wright, Joshua Fields, Adaeze Iloeje-Udeogalanya

01:47 What Adaeze is building: African Women in STEM

05:33 The biggest challenge: access

08:02 What Joshua is building: the listening room

12:05 Hiding a job loss, and what the silence costs

14:40 Building a network before you need one

20:09 The superhero version we post online

25:20 Staying still when the music hits

28:29 What "I'm busy, I don't have time" is covering

36:53 Unlearning: Lauryn Hill, Beyoncé, and letting go

44:14 A human being, not a human doing

47:49 Civilized to Death, and paying for what community used to give

52:47 Why long form teaches what short form skips

54:30 Giving versus investing

58:50 Closing takeaways: community and soft skills

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IDEAS & REFERENCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Civilized to Death: The Price of Progress, by Christopher Ryan: https://amzn.to/3Tim3XD

The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, by Lauryn Hill (album)

Lemonade, by Beyoncé (album)

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CONNECT WITH THE ROUNDTABLE

Joshua Fields, Listening Room Collective: https://www.listeningroomcollective.com

Joshua Fields, LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joshua-a-fields

Dr. Renesha Nichols, Reset & Restart: https://www.resetrestartrr.com

Dr. Renesha Nichols, LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-renesha-nichols-dsw-lcsw-6b477776

Adaeze Iloeje-Udeogalanya, African Women in STEM: https://africanwomeninstem.com

Adaeze Iloeje-Udeogalanya, LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adaeze-iloeje-udeogalanya

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CONNECT WITH ASHER WRIGHT

Memoirs to Millions: https://memoirstomillions.com

Life Changing Wisdom Marketplace: https://lifechangingwisdom.com

Weekly Intel Newsletter: https://m2mweeklyintel.com

100 Books That Changed How I Think: https://asheralbertwright.com/1000bookchallenge

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/asherawwright

Facebook: https://facebook.com/lcwforu

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ABOUT MEMOIRS TO MILLIONS

Asher Wright is a 22-year US Army veteran, Jamaican immigrant, and 7x published author. He helps veterans, immigrants, and entrepreneurs turn their life stories into published books that build authority and income.

Dr. Juana Bordas came to this country at three years old, unable to speak English. She is a founder of Denver's Mi Casa Resource Center and founding president of the National Hispana Leadership Institute, and she has written the books that gave a name to a leadership model communities of color had been practicing for generations: leadership built on collective advancement instead of individual accumulation.

On this episode of the Memoirs to Millions Podcast, Asher and Dr. Bordas run the Engineer's Argument, a set of maxims about systems, trust, and what it costs to stand inside something you built and still see it clearly. They talk about the difference between a "we" culture and an "I" culture, why a strength overplayed becomes a deficit, and why 78 percent of Latinos are still working class despite the ground gained.

Dr. Bordas also announces her next book, working title We Are All the Chosen People: The Mestizo Gospel, and shares the line that keeps coming back around this conversation: the universe never makes anything twice, and neither does God.

Welcome Dr. Juana Bordas to the Memoirs to Millions Podcast.

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CHAPTERS

00:00 Cold open, and into the show

02:36 Welcome and introductions

03:07 The Engineer's Argument, and the signature question

03:33 Arriving at three years old, not speaking English

05:45 Her family's move from Nicaragua to the United States

07:37 The kindest thing: the nuns, then two mentors who shaped her

08:29 Bernie Valdez and Lena Archuleta, and what they built in Denver

09:45 Her biggest impact: students now in office, and the books that named a leadership model

12:12 Collective cultures versus individualistic cultures, the "we" and the "I"

13:45 Oral tradition, and the fight to leave a written record

18:22 Why the dominant system erases what came before it

19:55 Cultural preservation, and the Latino advantage

20:53 Asher's own story: distance from culture, and coming home

23:15 Into the maxims

23:37 Maxim: prayer is not a phone call

28:23 Her next book: We Are All the Chosen People, the Mestizo Gospel

29:29 Maxim: a system you have to watch is a system you don't trust

32:58 Culture as the lever that moves a system

33:57 Maxim: if you can break it, somebody built it wrong

36:20 What decade in her past feels like today, and redefining normal

40:16 Maxim: God didn't leave the room, God is the room

45:20 Maxim: take the cover off the Bible, and off any machine

49:33 Closing rapid fire begins

49:52 Elvis, and the grace she extends him

52:00 Three books: her own, Life Visioning, and Isabel Allende

54:19 The tool that changed her work: learning AI in her seventies

55:42 The community that feeds her: music, culture, coming home

57:15 Mount Rushmore: her mentors, her first husband, and the alliance of Latino school leaders

60:25 A movement to make De Colores a Latino anthem

61:51 God never makes anything twice, and closing thoughts

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IDEAS & REFERENCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Salsa, Soul, and Spirit: Leadership for a Multicultural Age — Dr. Juana Bordas — https://amzn.to/4xEYpm6

The Power of Latino Leadership, Second Edition — Dr. Juana Bordas — https://amzn.to/4yMWooQ

We Are All the Chosen People: The Mestizo Gospel — Dr. Juana Bordas — working title, still seeking a publisher; confirm the final title and release status with her directly before publishing

Life Visioning — Michael Bernard Beckwith — https://amzn.to/4yh5eLW

Island Beneath the Sea — Isabel Allende — https://amzn.to/4cYgzYD

Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind — Yuval Noah Harari — https://amzn.to/4Au7ctH

De Colores — the traditional folk song Dr. Bordas is working to establish as a Hispanic Heritage anthem (no product link, this is a traditional song, not a purchasable recording)

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CONNECT WITH DR. JUANA BORDAS

Website: https://www.juanabordas.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/juanabordas/

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CONNECT WITH ASHER WRIGHT

Memoirs to Millions: https://memoirstomillions.com

Life Changing Wisdom Marketplace: https://lifechangingwisdom.com

Weekly Intel Newsletter: https://m2mweeklyintel.com

100 Books That Changed How I Think: https://asheralbertwright.com/1000bookchallenge

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/asher-wright-310731227

Facebook: https://facebook.com/lcwforu

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ABOUT MEMOIRS TO MILLIONS

Asher Wright is a 22-year US Army veteran, Jamaican immigrant, and 7x published author. He helps veterans, immigrants, and entrepreneurs turn their life stories into published books that build authority and income.

On this Round Table conversation with Asher, Joshua, and Dr. Renesha, they get into whether AI would leave a mark if it vanished overnight, an idea Joshua couldn't feed for years until the tool showed up to feed it, and who actually owns the compute everyone is renting.

They pull apart a speech that spread across a continent and land on a harder question underneath it: does owning the resource fix anything if you don't yet own the system it sits inside.

This is round two. The debate got sharper.

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TOPICS ON THE DOCKET

00:00 Opening and introductions: Asher Wright, Joshua Fields, Dr. Renesha Nichols

01:41 Topic One: Would AI Disappearing Change Anything?

13:17 Topic Two: The Idea You Couldn't Raise Until Now

22:14 Topic Three: Compute Isn't Freedom

48:05 Topic Four: The Cross Without the Crown

1:07:03 Closing thoughts, and the jobs a disruption creates on its way out

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CONNECT WITH THE ROUNDTABLE

Joshua Fields — Listening Room Collective: https://www.listeningroomcollective.com

Joshua Fields — LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joshua-a-fields

Dr. Renesha Nichols — Reset & Restart: https://www.resetrestartrr.com

Dr. Renesha Nichols — LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-renesha-nichols-dsw-lcsw-6b477776

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CONNECT WITH ASHER WRIGHT

Memoirs to Millions: https://memoirstomillions.com

Life Changing Wisdom Marketplace: https://lifechangingwisdom.com

Weekly Intel Newsletter: https://m2mweeklyintel.com

100 Books That Changed How I Think: https://asheralbertwright.com/1000bookchallenge

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/asher-wright-310731227

Facebook: https://facebook.com/lcwforu

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ABOUT MEMOIRS TO MILLIONS

Asher Wright is a 22-year US Army veteran, Jamaican immigrant, and 7x published author. He helps veterans, immigrants, and entrepreneurs turn their life stories into published books that build authority and income.

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On our first Round Table conversation with Asher, Joshua, Adaeze, and Dr. Renesha, we get into the role of a wife, whether a relationship can survive without ever defining its own basics, whether kids losing the ability to read is a crisis or an evolution, and the Lindsay Clancy trial, a case none of them try to resolve cleanly.

They talk about roles inherited without agreement, the autopilot scripts running underneath most relationships, and what it costs a culture to demand a clean villain out of a situation that was never clean to begin with.

This is the first sit-down. It won't be the last.

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TOPICS ON THE DOCKET

00:00 Opening and introductions: Joshua Fields, Adaeze Iloeje-Udeogalanya, Dr. Renesha Nichols

06:33 Topic One: The Role of a Wife — "According to who?"

16:55 Topic Two: Is It a Relationship If the Basics Are Missing?

27:52 Topic Three: Kids Can't Read

52:30 Topic Four: The Lindsay Clancy Trial

1:01:43 Closing thoughts, and the resentment of a future nobody wants to be part of

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CONNECT WITH THE ROUNDTABLE

Joshua Fields — Listening Room Collective: https://www.listeningroomcollective.com

Joshua Fields — LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joshua-a-fields

Dr. Renesha Nichols — Reset & Restart: https://www.resetrestartrr.com

Dr. Renesha Nichols — LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-renesha-nichols-dsw-lcsw-6b477776

Adaeze Iloeje-Udeogalanya — African Women in STEM: https://africanwomeninstem.com

Adaeze Iloeje-Udeogalanya — LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adaeze-iloeje-udeogalanya

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

CONNECT WITH ASHER WRIGHT

Memoirs to Millions: https://memoirstomillions.com

Life Changing Wisdom Marketplace: https://lifechangingwisdom.com

Weekly Intel Newsletter: https://m2mweeklyintel.com

100 Books That Changed How I Think: https://asheralbertwright.com/1000bookchallenge

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/asher-wright-310731227

Facebook: https://facebook.com/lcwforu

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ABOUT MEMOIRS TO MILLIONS

Asher Wright is a 22-year US Army veteran, Jamaican immigrant, and 7x published author. He helps veterans, immigrants, and entrepreneurs turn their life stories into published books that build authority and income.

#MemoirsToMillions #MTMRoundtable #UnexaminedRoles #TrustTheCreator #BehaviorChange