There are four research-based challenges that, if go unchecked, could devastate a relationship between a man and his wife. James and Julie Gottman wrote a book called "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work," which was based on research from the "Love Lab" located at the University of Washington. One of the essential components in that book was for marriages to be aware of and put in safeguards to address the four horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.

In this episode, Miles and Redlight discuss these four horsemen and how men can address them in marriage. In F3, men should use their shieldlocks to determine if these four horsemen are present and set virtuous targets to address them.

In F3 the “M” is what we refer to as the most important relationship for a Man. The most important relationship for a Man is between him and his wife. This podcast is designed for small groups of men, called “shieldlocks,” to practice, challenge, and set goals to improve the “M” relationship. Even men that are not married will find value in this conversation. Don’t wait until you are married to begin acting like a husband.

In this podcast Miles and Redlight break down the Q-Source material so shieldlocks can identify strengths and challenges associated with the most important relationship so they can leave the selfish happiness junkie and move towards a selfless joy seeker. We also invited a HIM from GoldRush, Coleman to share life lessons and strategies to ensure the “M” remains at the center of the concentrica.

The Kingdom is the place for our spirits to live. The King, Queen, and Jester all occupy the kingdom and it is our job to put in daily disciplines to control all three. In this episode, Miles and Redlight will discuss some of the most common and challenging Jesters that result when we are not aiming at the correct targets. These jesters result when we do not hit the virtuous targets: Empathy, Purity, Disciplined Fasting, Generosity, Righteousness, Contentment, and Powerful Grace. 

The daily discipline of what you put into your body is a critical part of the Kingdom that houses our souls.  Have you taken a moment to analyze your relationship with food, drinks, and controlled substances? In this podcast Miles and Redlight along with special guest Shrink breakdown how shieldlocks can accelerate like a pro with the Queen.  Special guest Shrink has had an amazing successful journey that will inspire and equip you to be successful with the daily discipline of what goes into our bodies.  We also analyze how the growth model: connection, boundaries, integrating good/bad, & responsibility can impact the queen. 

The daily discipline of your body is a critical part of the Kingdom that houses our soul. Have you considered if your relationship with yourself is in a healthy space? In this podcast Miles and Redlight along with special guest Ponch, the Nantan of Gold Rush, breakdown how shieldlocks can accelerate like a pro with the King. 

Redlight and Miles continue their series for shieldlocks to be successful with growing deeper.  

What should men be responsible for? 

Miles and Redlight continue their series on discussing the Growth Model.  

Boundaries - Part 2

Integrating the good and the bad - Part 3 

Responsibility - Part 4

Most people are open to the good in their lives.  However, many struggles with admitting our capacity to do bad things.  If you don't realize that our capacity to do bad equals our capacity to do good, you are missing a significant growth opportunity for yourself and others.  Sometimes we do good/bad, sometimes it is done to us, and other times it is representative of us living in a broken world.  

While connection and bonding are important, as we develop it is essential to begin to identify where you end and where someone else begins.  A healthy dependence partnered with a healthy understanding of independence is critical in a model where we grow effectively.  In this episode, Miles and Redlight discuss that every relationship has boundaries, and we love one another when we identify, respect, discuss, and challenge each other's boundaries.  We will discuss common boundary challenges and skills one can develop to improve and heal existing boundary issues.  

Growth Model:  Bonding (Connection), Boundaries, Integrating the Good & Bad, Responsibility

"We are men, we don't need connection." Some believe this statement.  The choice is connection or isolation.  Are you aware of how connecting with others affected/affects (past & present) you as a human?  Miles and Redlight will discuss the research behind connection and the need for men to engage with others regularly.  How does a lack of connection impact you as a young child & in leadership roles? We will discuss how men attempt to isolate themselves by being lone rangers, self-sufficient, rescuers, or through hostility.  In particular, we in F3 should be leaders of connection and help others grow and develop in these areas.  A shieldlock can be a gymnasium where we practice connection so it will impact our other relationships.  You may find that you identify with the self-sufficient isolator to avoid connection and determine that may be a good target/goal for your shieldlock to hold you accountable.  

Utilizing the research from Townsend and Cloud: 

How do we grow and develop as individuals? We are not in control of the early part of our lives, and sometimes, circumstances and situations present challenges for us in adulthood.  How do we engage our community so we can begin to repair and heal the gaps in development?  In this episode, Miles and Redlight discuss a model or framework to discuss the root issues that may be the source of our adult challenges.  There are four main areas that we would like to focus on: Bonding (Connection), Boundaries, Integrating the Good & Bad, and Responsibility.  

In this episode, we provide a brief overview of each one of these characteristics of the Growth Model.  

Hitting virtuous targets will require these characteristics to grow deeply with others.