Divorce transforms relationships, requiring former spouses to reinvent themselves as effective co-parents. In this thoughtful exploration of post-divorce parenting, Patrice Brymner and Jen Hawthorne Kelsey unpack the critical elements of creating sustainable parenting arrangements that truly serve the changing needs of children and parents.

What makes a "good enough" parenting plan? Rather than rigid schedules or perfect-on-paper arrangements, successful co-parenting requires adaptability, patience, and honest communication. Drawing from years of professional experience, Patrice and Jen outline four essential mindsets for navigating this challenging transition: maintaining an open mind to try different approaches, exercising patience throughout the process, avoiding competitive parenting dynamics, and prioritizing quality over quantity in parent-child interactions.

Jen and Patrice share practical advice, like the importance of regular check-ins—both with yourself and your co-parent—to assess what's working and what needs adjustment. They offer concrete strategies for sharing information between households, establishing appropriate boundaries, and creating systems that minimize conflict while keeping both parents informed about their children's lives. 

Takeaways: divorce ends marriages, but families continue in new configurations. By approaching co-parenting as an ongoing evolution rather than a fixed arrangement, parents can build foundations for healthy relationships that support their children. Whether you're currently navigating divorce or helping someone who is, these insights provide a roadmap for transforming painful transitions into opportunities for growth and healing.

Conflict is more than just a hurdle—it's an opportunity for transformation. Patrice and Jen explore how to harness the inherent the chaos of change toward personal and relational growth.  Discover the power of reframing your focus and understanding what truly makes you feel secure amid instability. From discussing the emotional rollercoaster of conflict to offering strategies for open communication and self-care, Jen and Patrice highlight the value of personal growth and self-discovery. Avoid the pitfalls of seeking validation from those who've wronged you—find peace within yourself and regain your power. By trusting in a process and taking responsibility for your role, you'll discover a stronger negotiating position and a path toward a better resolution. Listen in to find out how embracing change can lead to a renewed sense of empowerment.

Join us on Mending Fences as we talk to Attorney William Hickey, a seasoned family law litigator from Massachusetts. Together, we untangle the often-confusing world of divorce, focusing on the distinctions between mediation and litigation. Bill shares his expert insights on how he evaluates the suitability of mediation for his clients, highlighting crucial factors like the intricacy of the issues and the couple's communication dynamics. We also delve into the significance of fairness and client value when recommending dispute resolution methods.

We break down the essential steps for choosing a qualified mediator, ensuring you’re equipped with the right questions to ask. Learn about the importance of mediators being involved in professional communities and the need to clearly understand the boundaries of the the neutral's role.  Because mediators can't give legal advice, having access to independent counsel is vital. Through practical examples, we clarify the mediator’s role and underscore the necessity of grounding mediation in sound legal advice for a more balanced process.

We also discuss the value of a collaborative role for attorneys in mediation. Whether both clients have legal representation or only one does, we discuss how attorneys can bring balance and informed decision-making to the table.  We also touch upon critical moments when mediators should refer clients to litigators, acknowledging that some conflicts are best resolved through litigation. Tune in for an insightful discussion on navigating divorce with the right mix of mediation and litigation, tailored to meet your unique needs.

What happens when a conflict becomes bigger than any of the involved interests? Jen Hawthorne Kelsey and Patrice Brymner guide you through the maze of contentious standoffs to the calmer side, where interest-based dialogue fosters understanding and peace.  As they reflect on the art of conflict de-escalation on Mending Fences, listeners learn effective communication strategies that are more necessary now than ever. Whether it's the bubbling tensions in the classroom or the more prominent scale of global disagreements, self-inquiry strategies can shed light on personal disputes and their striking similarities to international relations.

In this episode, Jen and Patrice explore couples' mediation with Dr. Susan Boardman. Unlike divorce mediation, couples' mediation is intended to strengthen relationship dynamics for couples who wish to remain married.  Susan's wisdom, drawn from years of experience, highlights mediation as an invaluable tool as a proactive strategy for enhancing dialogue and understanding between partners. The talk delves into the psychology behind written agreements and how they lay the groundwork for positive behavioral shifts. If you're interested in the subtleties of how mediation can fortify a bond, you won't want to miss these insights.

Learn more at: https://couplesmediation.org

Discover the transformative power of words with our guest Karen Van Kooy in an episode that may reshape your approach to conflict resolution and legal negotiations. We engage in a dynamic dialogue, breaking down how subtle shifts in terminology can steer conversations from deadlock to collaboration. As we dissect the impact of word choice, from "proposal" to "settlement scenarios," you'll gain invaluable insights into fostering dialogue that digs into the heart of parties' needs and interests. It's a deep dive into the strategic use of language that can open up a world of creative resolutions.

Karen brings her expertise to the table, illuminating the conversation with examples from family law and beyond. We tackle the shift from impersonal, adversarial terms like 'clients' and 'opposing counsel' to more humanizing nomenclature that reflects autonomy, respect, and the potential for partnership. This episode offers a compelling look at how embracing a collaborative mindset can not only change the language we use in legal settings but also the outcomes for those involved. 

Divorce and Family Mediator Daniele Ozeri joins Jen and Patrice to discuss strategies for mending the complex dynamics within families—be it the bond between parents and children or among adult siblings. Daniele explains the subtle nuances that differentiate family mediations from divorce mediations, emphasizing the importance of cultivating understanding and empathy. Her approach, centered around personalized mini-agreements and consistent check-ins, not only addresses immediate disputes but also fortifies relationships for the long haul.

Exploring the ecosystem of support for families in conflict, we examine the overlapping roles of mediators and other professionals such as therapists and attorneys. Mediators, like Daniele, often wear the hat of a neutral facilitator, masterfully navigating between legal boundaries and emotional needs. Our discussion broadens to include the vital yet underappreciated role of conflict coaching, a service that primes individuals for the mediation process. Here, Daniele illustrates how this coaching can pave the way for improved communication, offering a beacon of hope to those who might grapple with the stigma of seeking mental health support. Learn more about Daniele and her approach at: www.dngmediation.com.

So you thought mediation would be easy. Well, even amicable divorces can be stressful and participants may feel at times like they are lost in uncharted territory. That's exactly what Jen Hawthorne Kelsey and Patrice Brymner delve into in this episode of Mending Fences. As seasoned guides, family law mediators, and collaborative law attorneys, Jen and Patrice illuminate the complexities that even the most cooperative separations can conceal. As always, your hosts' goal is helping people become better informed masters of their own decision-making .

It's a candid conversation that strips away the myths about what 'should' happen during a divorce and instead, fosters a realistic understanding of the unique paths each couple must navigate.  So, whether you’re a couple seeking peaceful closure or a listener curious about the inner workings of mediation , join us for an episode that promises both enlightenment and encouragement.

Join us as we unpack the essential roles, differences, and overlapping concepts of these legal representatives and how, with their assistance, successful conflict resolution is achievable.   We explain how attorneys in the "Settlement Counsel" role can work directly on their client's behalf to achieve an out-of court resolution, and how attorneys in "review Counsel" role can support clients engaged mediation. Attorneys can be invaluable guides in while navigating the complex terms of divorce agreements in either role. We underscore the importance of finding a lawyer who not only respects the client's wish for a peaceful resolution but is also well-versed in the non-adversarial approach. And if you're about to embark on a divorce mediation process or other non-adversarial  process, you won't want to miss our discussion on selecting an attorney who honors agreements, asks the right questions, and focuses on the journey rather than potential court battles.

Even in an otherwise amicable process, some conversations are very difficult. Patrice and Jen explore the challenge of reaching agreements in an environment where there's no 'supposed-to-happen.'  As seasoned mediators and collaborative divorce attorneys, Patrice and Jen aim to demystify the process and unravel complexities that often can leave divorcing spouses feeling lost or frustrated.

Divorce resolution can feel like a maze, filled with unexpected twists and turns. Patrice and Jen tackle unexpected issues and debunk misconceptions that can lead to misunderstandings or unmet expectations.  Jen and Patrice shed light on the role of neutral mediators and the delicate balance they must maintain between providing guidance and empowering clients to make their own decisions.