Menfolk Journeys

Gabriel has arrived at the rare and beautifully precious place of being a new Dad.

That means he's learning how to be a father figure to a young lad, a loving husband to a lovely wife, a breadwinner for the entire family, all while creating this new identity.

We older fathers can look back and see how we made it through the stages, but the younger dads are figuring it out as they go.

Our identities change, our sense of manhood develops, and our capacity to handle more of Life gets wider and greater the more we experience what's available when we begin Fatherhood.

Welcome in, Gabe! Join the Club! :0

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Full disclosure: Eric Foster is my older brother...but this isn't a conversation about our family, siblinghood, or any of that.

It's about how he takes advantage of the 24 hours that are granted to ALL of us, and what he does to make the most of each day.

His burning ambition to be the best he can, to do the most he can, to experience what he can, drives his habits, actions, and successes.

This conversation is about why we are compelled to act, what drives the drivers, and what we can all learn from getting our asses up early in the morning.

While he was in Junior Achievement...this conversation is about Adult Achievement.

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Brian did a LOT of things well in his adulthood, and he seems like a model that others want to aspire to: married, children, grandchildren, and a lucrative career that enabled him to retire with comfort.

And now, with the next chapter in his life being written in his own hand, he's turning his attention to serving others.

As a volunteer for FEMA, he's putting himself in crucibles of hurt, loss, anxiety, fear, and devastation...trying to be a part of something bigger than himself to help other people rebuild.

His commitment to Character, and what that means, and what we should do for our fellows, is an inspiration for anyone wondering what they should be doing in the last chapters of their lives.

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When you're a younger man, there's often a yen to leave the house, strike out on your own, and find your identity in your independence.

For Pedrum, he's leaning into his identity as the rock that anchors his family. At 26, he's building the future of his own self while also being present with his parents and siblings.

He's becoming both his own man, and, by his actions, a Family man. 

I love learning about how he sees his place in the world now, and admire his maturity. He's understanding that he can grow his own sense of self while being a part of the family that raised him. 

It's a beautiful, old-fashioned idea from another generation, but here and now.

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Have you ever had a moment where you see the man you want to become?

Jason was able to meet someone who held up a vision of his future self...and it changed the entire direction of his career and life.

Now, he brings together men for retreats, sharing, conversation, and bonding with his groundbreaking Evolutionary Men group.

From coaching to shadow work and retreats, he helps men see the best versions within themself, and shows them ways to express that in the world.

Aren't we all trying to get better? Don't we want to become the best man we can?

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The challenges fathers have in raising young boys today seems, well, more challenging than before.

From conflicting models of what manhood and masculinity should be, to readily-accessible pornography, to figuring out how to socialize with girls in a way that takes care and is also natural to their hormones...it's a messy hodgepodge of messages those boys are getting.

And Shaun Dauson is trying to figure it out. 

And he talks about how he has to deal with his own s**t so he can be the model of manhood that inspires his son to be the best he can be.

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Why does it seem like such a simple thing to breathe...and for there to be an entire course of study on how to breathe?

Shalin began to understand the power of breathwork when he was 16 years old, and on the cusp of manhood.

It changed his entire transition into adulthood, centering his mind, calming his body, and preparing his whole self to become a larger, more centered man.

He was one of the calmest, warmest, easiest guests I've spoken to so far...and it has to do with how he's learned to breathe.

And, thankfully, he's teaching other people how to do it, too.

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Who is are the people that help you with your life?

Do you have a cohort, a group, a tribe, a brotherhood, that can show you who you want to be?

Do you have those people who are also inspired by you, so they can become a better version of themselves?

This is a wonderful conversation with a successful man who has been aided in his success by strong, rich, deep, lasting friendships. And those friendships - and his salient experience at an HBCU - changed the way he thought and felt about himself.

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Are there specific, precise, lodged-in-your-memory moments in your life that completely changed the direction of your thinking, your purpose, your entire way of living?

Do you have a time that totally shifted your perspective on what you considered to be your reality?

Michael Tierno had a revelatory moment in his adulthood that changed the way he thought of, well, EVERYTHING.

And then, he pursued a life that focused on how to live with a new place of being and seeing, and how to help others create an entirely new way of thinking of their world.

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What happens when you decide to dismantle your own life, because it wasn't working for you?

Do you have the courage to deconstruct...and then rebuild? 

Can you look around your life and - if it's not what you want from it - begin again? Do you have the courage to do so?

So often, people fall into a track that doesn't suit their happiness...but they stay on it because it's safe, normative, and the known known.

This is a story and conversation with a man who did the opposite. He left his life, and rebuilt another one in its place. Challenging? Yes. Heartbreaking? Yes. Seemingly overwhelming? Yes. But is it worth it...well, you can decide.

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