MENTAL HEALTH EMAIL FROM MY PERSPECTIVE TO MY COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPIST REGARDING SCHIZOPHRENIA, ETC.: I had fallen asleep by the time I received your text reply. I am not too clear on what I would want to discuss. Indeed the overall lack of control I have over my life/lifestyle, (i.e. my wife, etc.,) over every little thing. Not being allowed to close my blinds when I would like onto dispensing/often incorrectly dispensing what I ingest into my body (i.e. medication, drinks, etc.,). Evidently, complicated matters. Some I might need and some are helpful, perhaps it's my shame, rather my sense of self-worth takes a tumble. Aside from IPT (above) onto medical: My psychiatrist (I do feel I cannot work with her, she is unwilling to talk healing/medicine, just as my wife (and my father) will not discuss finances.) Further, if I had skin cancer on my back for months, I wonder why hasn't it been addressed. Meantime I have been relapsing (worries me) not necessarily just to get control back, but because I'm dispensed approximately two small drinks and then unlimited tap water, and I become thirsty since it is liquids in general not just water as the hospital said which needs restriction. I have been driving out to get energy drinks and sodas, for each early morning. I understand all of this is complicated and can bring me down to thinking my life is one massive delusion. Then I become my literature. Never the less, I have some ideas on Wall Street perhaps. Otherwise, I have been using my funds to promote my Facebook page and purchase for my wife mostly expensive presents, a couple of thousand dollars in the past week alone with budgeted things for me, some not. These are things I like to do. But at least, you have my notes here having thought about it some. Yesterday I indeed blocked my psychiatrist (and my wife) from contacting me (paranoia, control, etc.) Too often I just can't handle the interpersonal conflicts. Other things, too, but I would likely focus on the overall control issue at hand, perhaps it is something deeper going on than what lay on the surface, control. Been doing well since I woke up at midnight, alone, here. I wish it could be that way forever. Maybe we can set up something earlier by phone today, or I can just see you on Tuesday. I am here in general until early afternoon usually. There’s more, my inability to speak sensibly, my bouts of anger, which I try to suppress, even on Facebook, to others and myself defending oneself and not admitting when they might or might not be just wrong. Think everyone is both jealous of me, and need, and want and then take all they can get from me, emotionally and physically, and so forth. Does this help? Want to talk this morning or noon or so, if I can? Thank you.