Episode 16 of Mental Health Matters for Christians

Why can't I let go of this person?If you've ever felt like your happiness depends on one relationship, struggled to move on after a breakup, or felt consumed by a friendship, dating relationship, or even a marriage, this episode is for you.

In this honest conversation, Christine Sneeringer and therapist Tim Long explore the difference between healthy emotional attachment and unhealthy emotional dependency.

They discuss why some relationships become all-consuming, how attachment wounds from childhood can shape our adult relationships, and why putting all our emotional needs into one person often leads to anxiety, jealousy, possessiveness, and heartbreak.

Christine shares her own journey of overcoming emotional dependency and explains how healing unhealthy attachment transformed her relationships. Tim brings psychological insight into attachment, secure bonding, and why God designed us for healthy interdependence—not emotional isolation or unhealthy obsession.

TOPICS DISCUSSED

• The warning signs of emotional dependency

• Why "I can't live without this person" isn't love

• The difference between healthy attachment and unhealthy dependence

• How childhood attachment wounds can shape adult relationships

• Why emotional dependency can affect friendships, dating relationships, and marriages

• Practical steps toward healthier, God-centered relationshipsResources Mentioned

• Emotional Dependency by Lori Rentzel (InterVarsity Press)

CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS

00:00 — Why can't we let go of certain people?

01:27 — What is emotional dependency?

02:45 — 12 warning signs you're emotionally dependent

05:35 — Healthy attachment vs unhealthy attachment

08:08 — Tim shares his own experience

11:05 — Emotional dependency isn't just a same-sex issue

13:15 — The real antidote to emotional dependency

17:08 — Are we supposed to depend on other people?

18:30 — Putting God first in our relationships

21:05 — Christine's journey out of emotional dependency

24:55 — Why God didn't answer her prayer the way she expected

29:15 — Healing attachment wounds

32:05 — Childhood relationships shape adult relationships

35:40 — Can emotional dependency lead to sexual struggles?

39:10 — The role of shame and insecurity

45:00 — Healthy interdependence: what it actually looks like

48:15 — Practical steps toward emotional freedom

53:30 — Final encouragement

🔹 Connect with Tim

Website: https://www.kainoschristiantherapy.com/

🔹 Connect with Christine

Website: https://www.worthycreations.org/

#MentalHealth #ChristianMentalHealth #EmotionalDependency #Attachment #Codependency #Relationships #TraumaHealing #AttachmentStyles #Healing #ChristianCounseling #MentalHealthMatters #FaithAndMentalHealth #EmotionalHealing #HealthyRelationships

Episode 15 of Mental Health Matters for Christians

Can shame shape the course of a person's life?For Garry Ingraham, it did. Long before he struggled with same-sex attraction, Garry carried a crushing sense of shame—from rejection, bullying, father wounds, and early exposure to pornography. Those experiences shaped how he saw himself, how he viewed God, and the choices he made for years.Convinced that God didn't care about him, Garry surrendered to his same-sex attractions and embraced the gay lifestyle, believing it was where he finally belonged. But God wasn't finished with his story.In this powerful and deeply honest conversation, Garry shares how Jesus met him in the middle of his brokenness, exposed the lies shame had taught him, and began a lifelong journey of healing, freedom, and restoration.Whether you've struggled with shame, rejection, unwanted sexual attractions, addiction, or simply wondered if God has given up on you, this conversation offers hope that your past does not have to define your future.Topics discussed:• How childhood shame shaped Garry's identity • The impact of rejection and father wounds • How early exposure to pornography affected his life • Why he believed God didn't care about him • His journey through same-sex attraction and the gay lifestyle • The unexpected moment he surrendered his life to Christ • What true healing and freedom have looked like over the years🔹 Connect with Garryhttps://loveandtruthnetwork.com/Garry's book https://loveandtruthnetwork.com/am-i-gay🔹 Connect with Christinehttps://www.worthycreations.org/Resources MentionedDon't Waste Your Sorrows by Paul E. Billheimer Chapter Timestamps0:00 Introduction3:45 Growing up in a legalistic Christian home8:40 Feeling different from other boys12:00 Early exposure to pornography16:00 "God Doesn't Care About Me"18:45 Entering the gay lifestyle24:45 The emptiness of life apart from God31:40 The drive home that changed everything34:45 Surrendering his life to Jesus36:30 What healing actually looked like40:30 Marriage, divorce, and learning to trust God again48:30 Father wounds, identity, and restoration56:30 How Christians can respond with both truth and grace1:04:00 Final encouragement and hope

In this powerful conversation, Dr. Carol Swain shares her remarkable journey from growing up in extreme poverty, dropping out of school after the eighth grade, and battling depression and suicidal thoughts, to becoming a tenuredprofessor at Princeton and Vanderbilt University.

But despite achieving everything she had dreamed of, she discovered that academic success couldn't heal the emptiness inside. Carol opens up about her dramatic encounter with Jesus, how God delivered her from depression and fear, and why losing the career she fought so hard to build turned out to be one of the greatest blessings of her life.

If you've struggled with depression, disappointment, or wondering whether God can redeem your story, this episode will encourage you to trust Him with every chapter.

Topics discussed:

• From poverty and 8th-grade education to Princeton
• Her battle with depression and suicide gestures
• Why success didn't satisfy her deepest needs
• Her supernatural encounter with Jesus
• How faith transformed her identity and removed lifelong fear
• Why leaving academia became one of God's greatest gifts
• What she tells people who struggle with depression today

🔹 Connect with Carol https://carolmswain.com/

 Chapter Timestamps

0:00 Introduction: Meet Dr. Carol Swain

2:12 Growing up in poverty and battling depression

4:00 Dropping out after eighth grade and becoming a young mother

5:44 Her years as a Jehovah's Witness and believing the world would end

9:03 Knowing she was made for something more

9:50 From GED to five college degrees

12:58 Discovering her intellectual gifts

16:12 Filing to be placed in foster care

17:49 Community college and finding her path

20:00 Becoming a professor at Princeton and Vanderbilt

20:57 How faith delivered her from lifelong fear and shyness

22:05 Success, awards, and the emptiness that followed

23:47 How her Christian faith affected her academic career

24:53 Her dramatic encounter with Jesus

30:13 Baptism, miracles, and discovering what it means to follow Christ

33:10 How God delivered her from depression

36:01 Advice for those struggling with depression

37:31 Leaving Vanderbilt and trusting God's timing

39:44 Breaking stereotypes and embracing God's purpose

40:54 Rapid-fire questions

In this episode, Christine welcomes missionary and evangelist Fielding Cage to discuss the transformative power of discovering our identity in Christ.Fielding shares his story of growing up in a home marked by rejection and brokenness, believing he was unwanted and had nothing valuable to offer. Through a life-changing encounter with Jesus, miraculous healing, and years of studying God's Word, he learned to replace those lies with God's truth.Together, they discuss healing, evangelism, confidence, spiritual authority, the power of God's Word, and why understanding who you are in Christ can transform every area of life.TOPICS DISCUSSED• Growing up feeling unwanted and rejected• How childhood beliefs shape identity• The importance of knowing God's Word• Discovering identity in Christ• Overcoming insecurity and low self-worth• Why confidence comes from God's Word, not personality• Replacing lies with God's truth• Living as a beloved son or daughter of God🔹 Connect with Fielding and Go Harvestinghttps://www.goharvesting.comYouTube: @GoHarvestingCHAPTER TIMESTAMPS01:38 Meet Fielding Cage04:05 Growing Up Unwanted05:56 Leaving Church at Sixteen06:56 The Business Meeting That Changed His Life08:30 Playing Church Without Knowing God10:28 Quitting Engineering to Study the Bible11:31 The Childhood Lies That Shaped His Identity14:12 From Pastor to Missionary15:03 His Son's Near-Fatal Horse Accident17:35 Why God's Word Became Everything18:23 The Scripture That Changed His Life21:12 Why Healing Comes Before Evangelism24:15 Training Ordinary Christians to Heal the Sick27:02 Confidence Comes from Identity, Not Personality31:53 Teaching Children to Pray for Healing33:52 Tumors, Cancer, and Unexpected Healings38:21 The Lie That Keeps Christians Stuck43:00 The Disciples Were More Broken Than You Think46:00 How to Stop Believing Lies About Yourself49:00 What It Means to Be a Son or Daughter of God52:00 Practical Steps to Renew Your Mind55:00 Fielding's Advice for Christians Struggling with Identity1:01:00 Closing Thoughts🔹 Connect with Christine• Website: https://www.worthycreations.org/BUY CHRISTINE A COFFEE:https://buymeacoffee.com/mentalhealthforchristians🙌 Connect & Share If this episode encouraged you, share it with someone who needs hope today.#MentalHealthMatters #IdentityInChrist #FaithAndMentalHealth#overcomingrejection

Many survivors spend years minimizing their pain, believing what happened to them “wasn't that bad.” Debra Marsalisi knows that journey firsthand. She shares her story of childhoodsexual abuse, teen pregnancy, date rape, years of silence, and the emotional wounds that shaped her life. She explains how trauma affected her relationships, identity, and understanding of herself—and how Jesus met her in the middle of that pain and began a process of healing.
Together, Christine and Debra discuss trauma responses like freezing and dissociation, why many survivors struggle with anger and shame, the importance of grieving losses, and common misconceptions Christians have about forgiveness.Debra also shares how God used counseling, discipleship, and the Trees of Hope ministry to bring freedom and restoration.

In this powerful conversation, Christine and her co-host Tim Long explore how our experiences with parents, church culture, trauma, addiction, and shame can shape the way we see God. Many Christians know the right answers about God intellectually, yet experience Him very differently in their hearts.

Tim shares his personal journey through pornography addiction, shame, and multiple counselors before his transformation, which came through experiencing God as present, compassionate, and deeply attuned to his pain.

Christine shares how growing up in a home marked by domestic violence distorted her view of both men and God—and how God used safe, loving relationships to bring healing and restore trust.

Topics discussed

• How distorted concepts of God are formed
• Why head knowledge alone doesn't produce heart transformation
• The connection between shame and addiction
• How childhood experiences shape our view of God
• Why feeling seen and known is essential for healing
• How God uses healthy relationships to reveal His true character
• The difference between trying harder and genuine transformation

Resources Mentioned:
• Knowing God by J.I. Packer
• Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby

Chapters

00:00 Introduction: Healing Distorted Concepts of God
01:00 Head Knowledge vs Heart Experience
04:30 Can You Know God and Still Feel Distant?
07:40 Tim's Struggle with Pornography Addiction
10:55 The Girlfriend Who Said "Get Help"
13:00 Why Accountability Alone Didn't Work
16:30 Four Therapists Later
18:45 Desperation, Shame, and Fear of Abandonment
21:30 Meeting the Therapist Who Changed Everything
23:20 "I Believe You"
26:00 Learning to Feel Instead of Think
27:45 The Hidden Loneliness Beneath Addiction
29:20 Family Dynamics and Childhood Wounds
30:10 Discovering Childhood Sexual Abuse
32:00 Feeling Seen, Safe, and Known
35:30 A Life-Changing Spiritual Revelation
38:15 "This Is How I Am With You"
39:20 A New Understanding of God
40:35 When Church Culture Distrusts Emotions
41:25 Christine's Distorted View of God
43:15 Healing Through Healthy Relationships
46:00 The Father Figures God Brought Into Her Life

In this deeply honest conversation, Christine and Justin Greenfield unpack his journey through same-sex attraction, emotional wounds, identity struggles, and sexual redemption through Christ. Justin shares how unmet emotional needs, bullying, father wounds, emotional abuse, and longing for same-sex connection shaped his early development—and how God met him in the middle of shame, confusion and despair.

They explore the developmental roots often connected to same-sex attraction, the importance of healthy same-sex bonding, and why compassion and truth must go hand in hand in the Church. This episode is not about condemnation—it’s about understanding, healing, identity, and hope.

Key Takeaways

• The developmental need boys have for healthy same-sex bonding

• How bullying, rejection, and father wounds can shape identity struggles

• The emotional roots often connected to same-sex attraction

• Why shame and silence in the Church can deepen suffering

• The impact of pornography, online grooming, and isolation

• The importance of compassion, understanding, and truth

• How God brings healing, wholeness, and redemption

CONNECT WITH JUSTIN► Justin’s website: https://greenfieldministries.com/

Websites and Resources mentioned

https://godloveshomosexuals.com/

https://homosexuality101.com/

https://www.genderidentity101.com/

Sy Rogers teaching on personality & archetypes

https://youtu.be/TeFSPnfLZwY?si=lwEO3fnxLKNJPSx-

Chapter Timestamps

00:00 – Introduction to Justin Greenfield

01:40 – Growing Up in a Christian Home

03:00 – Feeling Different From Other Boys

05:00 – Sports, Rejection, and Masculinity

08:00 – Bullying, Shame, and Being Called Names

12:30 – Same-Sex Bonding and Emotional Needs

15:00 – Puberty, Sexualization, and Emotional Hunger

18:00 – The “Kitchen Window Boy” Concept

19:30 – Christine Shares Her Own Gender Confusion Story

21:30 – Why Today’s Culture Is “Transing Tomboys”

24:00 – Writing About Trauma and Family Pain

25:30 – Discovering Pornography and Online Chat Rooms

27:30 – Wrestling With Same-Sex Attraction as a Christian

30:00 – Nature vs. Nurture Discussion

31:00 – Temperament, Fathers, and Masculinity

35:00 – Giftedness, Identity, and Feeling Different

37:00 – Healthy Male Mentorship and Father Figures

41:00 – Emotional Abuse and Family Dysfunction

45:00 – Depression, Shame, and Suicidal Thoughts

47:30 – Harmful Church Responses to Homosexuality

49:00 – God-Given Needs vs. Sexual Identity

51:00 – Compassion, Healing, and Redemption Through Christ

🔹 Connect with Christine https://www.worthycreations.org/

In this episode, Christine sits down with Lin Button, founder of the Healing Prayer School and longtime ministry partner of Leanne Payne, to discuss why we leak love and how God heals the deepest places of emptiness and insecurity.

Lin explains how our earliest experiences — even in the womb or infancy — shape our capacity to feel secure, connected, loved, and emotionally grounded. She explores the connection between attachment wounds, shame, addiction, emotional emptiness, sexual trauma, and relationshipstruggles.

This episode offers both practical insight and deep hopefor anyone longing for healing in the core of their being. The conversation also includes Lin’s prescriptive prayer for the healing of sense of being, developed after a powerful dream that revealed how deeply unmet emotional needs can affect a person’s identity and relationships.

Key Takeaways
• how early attachment wounds shape identity• why some people “leak love” and can’t hold onto belonging• the connection between emotional deprivation and addiction• how trauma,  rejection,  and sexual abuse damage the core self• why many people never truly feel safe inside• the healing prayer Lin developed after a revelatory dream

► Lin’s book – Mother Matters

CONNECT WITH LIN

► Lin’s website: healingprayerschool.org.uk

Chapter Timestamps

00:00 Introduction to Lin Button & Healing Prayer School

02:00 Discovering Leanne Payne’s ministry

05:10 What is “sense of being”?

09:00 Identity, connectedness & emotional security

12:00 God as the source of all being

16:00 Performance, worthiness & “human doing”

18:00 How attachment begins in the womb

21:00 The “still face” experiment & emotional attunement

24:00 How babies develop security & connectedness

26:00 Adoption,  rejection & emotional wounds

28:00 “Leaking love” — the colander analogy

31:00 Trauma, illness & loss of emotional foundation

34:00 Addiction as self-medication for emptiness

36:00 Sexual abuse & damage to identity

38:00 Lin’s “love and cuddles” prayer story

43:00 Why unmet attachment needs affect relationships

46:00 Sense of being,  same-sex attraction & emotional need

49:00 Misogyny, fear, insecurity & attachment wounds

52:00 Shame, self-hatred & believing lies

55:00 Therapy, healing & spiritual growth

57:00 Lin prays for healing & belonging

🔹 Connect with Christine https://www.worthycreations.org/

Christine sits down with country music artist Lisa Daggs to unpack her raw and redemptive story. Lisa shares how unresolved pain, a longing to feel loved, and a desire to numb her emotions led her down a path of alcohol and drug addiction that nearly destroyed her life.After multiple arrests and facing prison time, Lisa hit rock bottom—and that’s where everything changed. In a moment of surrender, she cried out to God… and began a journey that has now led to over 36 years of sobriety, healing, and ministry.They explore the deeper roots of addiction, the role of identity and emotional pain, and the practical tools that help sustain long-term recovery. Lisa also shares how faith, community, and honest self-reflection can help anyone break free from destructive patterns and step into purpose.

Key Takeaways

• Addiction often begins as a way to numb emotional pain

• Feeling “not enough” can drive destructive behaviors

• Recovery requires honesty, community, and surrender

• Freedom is possible—but it requires daily choices

• God can redeem any story and use it for purpose

► Lisa’s book – No Turning Back, Regardless

CONNECT WITH LISA

► Lisa’s website: https://www.lisadaggs.net/

► Lisa’s Instagram: @lisadaggsmusic

Chapter Timestamps

00:00 – The reality of addiction and a $1,000/day cocaine habit01:20 – Lisa Daggs’ background and early life03:00 – The father wound and its impact on identity05:00 – Numbing emotional pain through substances08:30 – The belief: “I’m not enough”14:00 – The slow fade into addiction16:30 – Life in music, nightlife, and partying20:00 – Dealing cocaine and living a double life22:20 – Multiple arrests and facing prison24:00 – Rock bottom and crying out to God29:00 – Rehab, surrender, and starting over34:00 – God restores her purpose through music37:00 – Handling cravings and intrusive thoughts40:30 – The importance of honest community41:50 – Can God still use my story?44:00 – The secret to long-term sobriety47:00 – Final encouragement and walking in purpose🔹

Connect with Christine https://www.worthycreations.org/

What do Christians get wrong about sex, porn, and parenting? In this candid Q&A, Sy Rogers addresses some of the most difficult and often avoided topics in the Christian life. These are real questions from real people—about sex, pornography, masturbation, parenting, shame, and self-control—and Syanswers them with biblical clarity, compassion, and decades of pastoral experience.

We talk about:

• How to talk to your kids about sex without shame
• The truth about pornography and its impact
• What healthy sexuality looks like in marriage
• Helping teens navigate desire and self-control
• Healing from sexual brokenness and past wounds

Chapter Timestamps

00:00 Introduction to Sy Rogers this Q&A0

2:50 Is oral sex wrong in marriage?

10:35 Talking to teens about sex & masturbation

14:30 The real goal: self-control (not shame)

21:20 How to handle young kids’ body curiosity

26:00 Breaking free from pornography addiction

29:30 Shame vs. calling: helping someone move forward

32:20 Is porn ever okay in marriage?

36:30 How porn rewires desire (and why it matters)

42:55 Gender confusion in kids—how should parents respond?

45:30 Sexual abuse statistics & prevention

47:45 Helping teens manage sexual urges

49:50 When your child is being bullied

52:30 Raising boys without strong male role models

55:10 Why affection matters for boys and girls

56:55 Healing from sexual abuse and trauma

01:00:50 Dating, boundaries, and integrity

01:03:45 STD realities and removing shame