Today, the formation of long-lasting marriage relationships is confusing to most of us. We are not quite sure how they happen or how they are formed. Why does one last for life and another end in divorce within just a few years?

Fundamentally, the answer rests on how well intimacy is developed in the couple's relationship.

The modern process of dating often distorts and harms the development of holistic intimacy, focusing primarily on the "chemistry" of physical intimacy. Specifically, with each intimate encounter that we experience in dating - particularly when we get hurt through physical intimacy - it may damage our potential for intimacy, and our reaction may be similar to those who suffer sexual abuse. Overall, unless we are able to maintain healthy boundaries of intimacy during dating, we damage our ability to attain the beautiful deep intimacy with our eventual spouse.

The Song of Songs is a description of the intimate love that is experienced between a man and a woman. It is the connection of one to another, two soul mates connecting based on the pure love that comes from God.

Deep down, I believe all of us desire pure relationships like this, but this is not what we experience. Unfortunately, sin corrupts what we desire from one another, and too often this results in a superficial relationship by two self-centered people seeking self-satisfaction. Perhaps we are too focused on physical attraction ... perhaps we are too focused on controlling one another.

But what if we could love like God loves us? What if we loved someone for the beauty of their soul?

Compassion and looking after those who are in need are key attributes of Christians, Christian leaders or any Christian group that is pleasing to God. This was reflective of Jesus' life. He was regularly compassionate for those in need, and he regularly ministered to them. He loved, and we are to love.

Yet, so many Christians and their leaders lose sight of the heart of Christianity. Something eclipses their heart. Throughout history and even in our contemporary society, Christian leaders start out with pure and sincere hearts. But then something happens. The Christian leader gets in front of God, turning attention away from God and his agenda and leading people to focus more on church "stuff" and its leadership. There is always a danger that a Christian leader will love the praise from men more than the praise from God (John 12:42-43).

If your Christian focus is mostly on the religious, business, or social activities of the church, if you treat Christian leaders like celebrities, or if your desire is for status and glory within your Christian community, then you are likely in a Christian gridlock situation ... for you, the heart of Christianity has become eclipsed.