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Here's a question we don’t tend to ask ourselves: What if the dark isn't something to escape?

What if chaos, disintegration, and incoherence are just natural parts of living? Like soil in the earth where things regenerate and new life takes root.

Instead of asking "How fast can I get out of this hard time?" What if we started asking, "What am I bringing to the dark?"

That question hands the power back to you. It makes you the protagonist of your own story again, even when things feel out of your control.

This week, Karlee concludes the 3-part series, Staying Steady. This is the final conversation she co-taught with Dr. Maria Sirois, where truth and tending mature into transformation. You'll hear Maria share the raw truth about a dark year, and why reflecting on the ancient myth of Persephone has helped her reframe the experience.

In this episode, you’ll learn why dark moments aren't punishment but part of the work. You'll learn how to become the narrator of your own story, and three practical ways to stay steady when your eyes are still adjusting to what's now true. You’ll also learn the value of inviting mercy, humor, and presence into difficult seasons.

If you’re ready to stop exhausting yourself trying to avoid what's uncomfortable and instead bring the best of yourself to the darkness, then this is the episode for you.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• (08:56) Permission to stop pretending the dark is easy
• (09:45) Ask yourself: "What am I bringing to the dark?"
• (10:13) How Persephone inhabits the underworld with purpose
• (11:21) What steadiness really means when your eyes are adjusting
• (15:19) Acts of bravery in times of chaos

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Episode 193: The Steady Center Series | Part One: Fairy Wings in a Wild World

Episode 194: The Steady Center Series | Part 2: Regeneration Begins Where Depletion Is Named

REPLAY: Staying Steady in Chaotic Times with Karlee Fain and Maria Sirois

REGISTER: The Heroic Leadership Journey

People Mentioned in this Episode:

• Dr. Maria Sirois

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🌟 Click to Send Karlee a Text - We Want To Hear Your Thoughts About This Episode 🌟

If you woke up tired today, not from a crisis, but just from living, this one's for you.

Because here's the thing: most of us don't break down because we're weak. We get worn out because we've been strong for too darn long.

You know how to show up. You know how to push through. But do you know how to notice the person inside the body doing all of that?

That's where regeneration comes in. And no, we're not talking about self-care Instagram posts or bubble baths (though those are nice). We're talking about what happens when your life and your work start giving back to you as much as you're giving to them.

This week, Karlee rolls out Part 2 of the Staying Steady series, based on the course she co-taught with Dr. Maria Sirois. Together, they explore what it means to tend to what matters when the good and the difficult collide, and why work that lasts begins with honest tending, not heroic pushing.

In this episode, you'll hear why fear multiplies itself and where to find "high safety" when things feel overwhelming. You'll discover the bold question about breaking the rules of complacency that can shift everything, and why narrowing the lens when overwhelm takes hold makes things feel possible. 

If you’re ready to stop leaking energy and create space for life to give back to you, then this is the episode for you.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• (06:36) Understanding fear as a multiplier
• (08:17) Three practical approaches for regenerative leadership
• (15:05) What rules of complacency did you break just to be here?
• (17:44) Chunking down: One act of care that's available right now
• (18:44) Why strong people get worn out (and what to do about it)

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Episode 193: The Steady Center Series | Part One: Fairy Wings in a Wild World

REPLAY: Staying Steady in Chaotic Times with Karlee Fain and Maria Sirois

REGISTER: The Heroic Leadership Journey

People Mentioned in this Episode:

• Dr. Maria Sirois
• Mark Nepo

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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.

🌟 Click to Send Karlee a Text - We Want To Hear Your Thoughts About This Episode 🌟

We cannot transform what we won’t touch.

It takes real valor to tell the truth about what’s not working,  especially when life feels both brutal and beautiful all at once. For leaders, caregivers, and high achievers, it can seem absurd to care so fiercely about the world and still need to answer emails, load the dishwasher, or fold laundry. Yet this is the paradox of modern leadership: holding what’s enormous and what’s ordinary in the same pair of hands.

This week, Karlee launches a new three-part series, The Steady Center, for anyone determined to lead with courage and care in chaotic times. Together with her longtime friend and colleague, Dr. Maria Sirois, she explores how to stay steady when life wobbles.

You’ll learn how to name what’s not working, find your footing between apathy and overdrive, and rediscover the quiet valor that steadiness requires, because honesty is the soil every kind of regeneration grows from.

If you’re ready to stop spinning your wheels alone and begin cultivating steadiness from the inside out, this conversation will remind you: honesty and tenderness are your most courageous starting points.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• (05:41) Telling the truth about what’s not working
• (07:32) Nurturing honesty as the soil where steadiness grows
• (10:55) Why small, tender acts matter more than we realize
• (14:46) The two ends of the spectrum: apathy and overdrive
• (17:01) How to find your steady center between both extremes

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

REPLAY: Staying Steady in Chaotic Times with Karlee Fain and Maria Sirois

REGISTER: The Heroic Leadership Journey

*For book links: https://bookshop.org/shop/harriettsbookshop 

People Mentioned in this Episode:

Maria Sirois

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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.

🌟 Click to Send Karlee a Text - We Want To Hear Your Thoughts About This Episode 🌟

If your brain still whispers, “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done,” you’re not alone.

High-achievers and caregivers alike have been conditioned to believe that love means carrying it all — every project, every person, every crisis. But what if that belief is quietly depleting the very ecosystem you’re meant to thrive in?

This week, Karlee invites us to explore what happens when we stop trying to be everything for everyone. She blends modern neuroscience and ancient wisdom to reveal how reciprocity — giving and receiving — restores balance in our lives.

In this episode, you’ll hear how over-functioning crept into our culture, why our brains are wired for mutual care, and three gentle practices that make it safe to be supported again. Plus, Karlee shares her first-ever public poem, “Root Among Roots,” a heartfelt reminder that we were never meant to hold the whole mountain alone.

If you’re ready to stop over-functioning and start belonging again, this is your invitation back to an ecosystem that holds you, too.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• (8:21) The poem that started it all: Root Among Roots.
• (12:45) What neuroscience reveals about giving and reciprocity.
• (18:30) Why asking for help isn’t weakness — it’s biology.
• (22:12) Three practical ways to restore balance and receive support.
• (28:40) How to practice boundaries that breathe — and still belong.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Poem: Root Among Roots by Karlee Fain

Join Karlee for free on Substack

Study: Inagaki TK, Bryne Haltom KE, Suzuki S, Jevtic I, Hornstein E, Bower JE, Eisenberger NI. The Neurobiology of Giving Versus Receiving Support: The Role of Stress-Related and Social Reward-Related Neural Activity. Psychosom Med. 2016 May;78(4):443-53. doi: 10.1097/PSY.0000000000000302. PMID: 26867078; PMCID: PMC4851591.

Retreat: Better Boundaries, Finally at Kripalu (Oct. 31 – Nov. 2)

People Mentioned in this Episode:

Dr. Tristen Inagaki

Mary Oliver

Adrienne Marie Brown

Dr. Maria Sirois

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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.

🌟 Click to Send Karlee a Text - We Want To Hear Your Thoughts About This Episode 🌟

The world tells us progress is measured in speed, output, and proof. Yet some of the most powerful shifts happen in the smallest, quietest moments—a breath you actually notice, a slow stir of the pot, a walk with no destination. 

What if the habits that seem “unproductive” are the very ones that make you steadier, clearer, and braver in your leadership?

This week, Karlee unpacks the paradox of modern leadership: the more responsibility you carry, the more essential it is to slow down. She shares meaningful research on the link between boredom and creativity that demonstrates the healing effects of nature, proving that even just 30 seconds of steadiness in your day matters.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to use simple pauses as fuel. You’ll explore why reclaiming slowness actually sharpens your decisions and deepens your impact. And, you’ll hear a true client story of how one small nourishing and practical exercise transformed their health and work life. 

If you’re ready to replace burnout with steadiness and lead with clarity, calm, and courage, this episode is for you.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• (3:12) Why wise leadership often begins with practices that don’t show up on a spreadsheet
• (10:18) How boredom activates the brain’s default mode network and sparks creativity
• (14:09) Why just 30 seconds of calm steadies your body and mind
• (18:02) A nurse’s story: one simple habit that restored energy and improved patient care
• (20:47) A practical question to anchor steadiness in your daily life

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Study: Mann, Sandi and Cadman, Rebekah (2014) Does Being Bored Make Us More Creative? Creativity Research Journal, 26 (2). pp. 165-173. ISSN 1040-0419 

Study: Hunter MR, Gillespie BW and Chen SY-P (2019) Urban Nature Experiences Reduce Stress in the Context of Daily Life Based on Salivary Biomarkers. Front. Psychol. 10:722. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00722

JOIN US October 14, 7pm EST: Leadership Circle: Staying Steady in a Chaotic Moment: Showing Up Bravely — Even When You Don’t Have All the Answers.

People Mentioned in this Episode:

Dr. Maria Sirois

Suzy Banks Baum

Mary Oliver

Albert Einstein

Maya Angelou

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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.

🌟 Click to Send Karlee a Text - We Want To Hear Your Thoughts About This Episode 🌟

The air is getting cooler, the light is waning earlier each night, and yet…the drumbeat to “finish strong” grows louder. The pressure to do more is palpable, to push harder and squeeze just a little extra out of yourself before the year ends. 

But that call to “finish strong”, well… by year's end, it leaves us feeling weaker. And if your inner life is running on fumes, is that really success?

What if real strength felt less like exhaustion and more like steadiness? Less about overextending and more about aligning?

This week, Karlee explains that finishing strong isn’t about how much you can wring out of your calendar.  Instead of driving yourself into the ground, what if you finished the year steady, replenished, and proud of the care you extended along the way?

In this episode, you’ll hear why redefining success right now could change not just your calendar, but your nervous system and the well-being of everyone you lead. From honoring the natural rhythm of seasonal shifts to recognizing the hidden costs of emotional bankruptcy, this is your roadmap to finish the year steady, nourished, and genuinely strong.

If you’re ready to measure success by both your solvency and your soul so you can finish the year grounded, joyful, and proud of how you led, then this is the episode for you.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• (03:11) The brilliance of seasonal shifts,  and why hustle culture gets it wrong
• (06:22) When did “success” become synonymous with exhaustion?
• (10:45) How neglecting your inner life impacts your team and home
• (16:09) The Money & Meaning practice: a reset you can do right now
• (17:45) One small, anchored step to hold for the next two weeks

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Episode 189: Putting the Self in Success: How to shape your goals around what gives you joy and meaning.

Join us at the Kripalu Center, October 31- November 2:  Better Boundaries| A Gateway to Authentic Living

People Mentioned in this Episode:

Dr. Maria Sirois

Parker Palmer

Linda Hogan

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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.

🌟 Click to Send Karlee a Text - We Want To Hear Your Thoughts About This Episode 🌟

As the air shifts and the year leans toward its close, it’s easy to get swept up in the rush. New strategies, fresh pivots, the endless push for “more.” But what if the most powerful move isn’t chasing something new, but noticing what’s already working and leaning into that?

This is the season to reconnect with your own definition of success. Not the one shaped by other people’s expectations, but the one rooted in what truly nourishes you.

Real, meaningful success depends on your reference point. 

Our goals have to be shaped around what we value in and for ourselves, rather than what others value in and about us. 

If you’re calibrating your goals based on the preferences, priorities, and needs of others over what you know to be true for you, then YOU aren’t the reference point. 

And that’s gotta change. 

In this episode, Karlee revisits one of our most-loved episodes about the difference between self-referencing a goal versus other-referencing a goal. She explains why the distinction matters if you want to feel less like you’re chasing and more like you’re coming home to yourself.

You’ll hear stories of leaders redefining success in real time, lessons from a beloved grandmother’s enduring optimism, and a simple practice that will help you identify what’s most life-giving for you right now. You’ll be reminded that you already hold the wisdom, clarity, and resources to create goals that align with your joy and meaning. All that’s left is to pause, listen inward, and give yourself permission to honor what matters most.

If you’re ready to lead your values at the forefront, then this episode is for you. 

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• (9:39) Why progress without definition can feel like a moving target 
• (12:57) The difference between self-referenced and other-referenced goals 
• (15:10) A candid story of redefining success at a pivotal life moment
• (18:37) The 3 W’s that reveal your values 
• (25:29) How to incorporate what you value into your plans and daily life

People Mentioned in this Episode:

Jen Delos Reyes 

Nancy Levin

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Episode 113: Building a Stronger Basket: How to plug up the leaks of what’s draining you and preserve more energy for the things you value.

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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.

🌟 Click to Send Karlee a Text - We Want To Hear Your Thoughts About This Episode 🌟

When was the last time you slowed down long enough to notice what truly matters?

In a culture that glorifies endless productivity, it can feel radical to measure our lives not by what we produce but by what we prioritize. 

And yet, the research, and our lived experience, is clear…

Doing more doesn’t necessarily mean achieving more.

Choosing to honor your pace is not indulgence, it’s leadership. It’s innovation. It’s what makes your contributions last.

This week, Karlee invites you into a season of discernment, replenishment, and permission to honor what’s essential. From an eight-year-old’s wisdom about the importance of water, to lessons from farmers, thinkers, and even board games, this episode is a reminder that true leadership isn’t about hustling harder. It’s about cultivating the rhythms that sustain us.

In this episode, we’ll explore how to release the pressure of “shoulds,” how to spot the difference between real urgency and false urgency, and how to make space for the life-giving priorities that nourish us and those we lead. If you’ve been carrying too much, rushing through days without replenishment, or wondering what to let go of so that what really matters can flourish, you’ll learn practical ways to identify and focus on what matters most. 

If you’re ready to replenish where you can, let go of what you don’t need to carry, and remember what’s really important, then this episode is for you.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• (1:45) How an 8-year-old reminded Karlee of life’s most essential priority
• (4:12) The surprising research that proves productivity plateaus
• (6:25) How prolific thinkers like Darwin sustained their genius
• (8:33) A farmer’s wisdom on discerning true urgency from false urgency
• (11:02) Three prompts to help you clarify what matters most this season

People Mentioned in this Episode:

Jen Salineti

References:

1. Productivity drops after 50 hours a week

• A Stanford University study found that output per hour sharply declines after 50 hours of work per week, and plummets entirely after 55 hours. People working 70 hours produce nothing more than those working 55.
    Ref: John Pencavel, Stanford University, “The Productivity of Working Hours” (2014)

2. Sleep deprivation = poor decision making

• The Harvard Business Review reports that lack of sleep costs U.S. businesses over $63 billion annually in lost productivity, primarily due to poor decision-making and reduced creativity.
  Ref: Hafner et al., RAND Corp (2016); HBR summary, “Sleep Deprivation is Killing You and Your Career.”

3. Rest enhances creativity and innovation

• Neuroscientist Alex Soojung-Kim Pang documents how “deliberate rest” boosts creativity and productivity, showing that some of history’s most prolific innovators (Darwin, Dickens, etc.) worked only ~4 focused hours/day, leaving space for rest and reflection.
  Ref: Alex Soojung-Kim Pang, Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less (2016)

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🌟 Click to Send Karlee a Text - We Want To Hear Your Thoughts About This Episode 🌟

“Just to like live it.” 

That's what seven-year-old Julian said when asked about the meaning of life. 

Kids really do know things we forget.

One of those things is the pure joy in the simplicity of just living life, basking in the moment. 

Why talk about basking when everyone's telling you to hustle harder? 

Because in a culture that equates worth with output, choosing your own pace isn't just self-care—it's revolutionary.

We can't build regenerative leadership on speed alone. Even in a car, we shift our cadence when appropriate. Sometimes the most strategic thing you can do is slow down long enough to let something good actually land.

So if you've been craving permission to not have it all figured out, to take a breath, and to remember what actually matters, you're in the right place.

This week, Karlee shares lessons from "Aunt Camp", a sacred summertime tradition with her niece and nephews, about why basking isn't laziness. It's strategic. You'll hear real client stories about how tiny shifts can lead to major boundary changes, and why slowing down a lucrative business deal actually made it stronger.

In this episode, you'll learn how to discern your right pace, why doing less in one area creates space for fullness in another, and how rest becomes resistance in systems built on exhaustion.

If you're ready to be reminded that busy and impactful aren't the same thing, then this is the episode for you.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• (6:19) How to discern your right pace and intensity 
• (8:52) Why doing less is often the most strategic option
• (11:16) Prompts to consider when you’re ready to start basking
• (12:03) Embracing the presence of joy and the power of rest
• (15:12) Permission to soften (without losing your edge)

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Book: Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto by Trisha Hershey

Book: The Use Of Life by John Lubbock 

Quotes Mentioned in this Episode:

"Rest is not idleness. And to lie sometimes on the grass, under the trees on a summer's day, is by no means a waste of time." John Lubbock from The Use of Life (1894)

"Joy is not made to be a crumb." Mary Oliver poem: "Don't Hesitate" 

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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.

🌟 Click to Send Karlee a Text - We Want To Hear Your Thoughts About This Episode 🌟

If you're the one everyone comes to for solutions, the one who holds it all together at home and work, have you ever wondered…”Why is it always me?” 

Being "the fixer" isn't just about what we do. It's about the internal compulsion we feel to step in, solve problems, and carry the weight when things get hard. It's the guilt we experience when we can't fix everything, and the quiet exhaustion that comes from constantly managing not just our own lives, but everyone else's too.

So why does it always fall on you? 

The truth is that you developed this role for good reasons. It's served you and others well. But if it's becoming unsustainable, there are ways to shift the dynamic without abandoning your natural gifts or feeling guilty about creating the boundaries you need. 

This week, Karlee teams up with trusted friend and colleague Jack Mason-Goodall for a live group conversation about what it means to be the one who fixes, holds, and carries, and what it costs when no one notices just how much you're managing.

In this episode, you’ll join a thoughtful live audience as they explore why we fall into fixing roles, how these patterns develop from childhood, and most importantly, how to create more sustainable ways of showing up that honor both your capacity to help and your need for support.

If you’re ready to understand the psychology behind your fixing patterns and learn how to shift from "fix or fail" to something more balanced, this episode is for you.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• (17:43) The three relationship roles we all inhabit and how they shape our interactions
• (21:58) How trust influences our tendency to step in and fix
• (26:18) Bringing awareness in to thwart our automatic responses
• (34:28) How to navigate resistance while changing your role in relationships 
• (49:08) Vulnerability and self-compassion on the path to change

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Get your FREE "When Helping Gets Heavy" companion guide for this episode

Book: Games People Play: The basic handbook of transactional analysis by Eric Berne MD 

People Mentioned in this Episode:

Dr. Senem Eren

Connect with Jack Mason-Goodall, BSc., MA, MBACP, MBPsS:

LinkedIn

AutismOptimismInternational.com
Focused on relationship‑based play therapy, autism family support, coaching for parents, professionals, and businesses

HowToBeUs.com
Offers individual and group psychotherapy/coaching with a commitment to inclusivity (LGBTQIA+ affirming, anti‑oppressive)

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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.