We have finally reached the conclusion, and the pinnacle, of our Pinocchio review series. Nine Pinocchios in nine weeks. We've had one what was fruity, one or two what were robots, and now finally, we have one what was actually good.

0:00 - Opening Chat & Introduction

21:05 - Plot Recap & Review

1:15:35 - Rankings

You heard it here, the critics were wrong! At least a little bit. Disney's Pinocchio remake is not "good," but you'd think it was a crime against God and man with the lambasting it received from film critics. Turns out it's absolutely fine.

We continue our descent into hell by thoroughly examining "Fruity Pinocchio," Pauly Shore's fever dream interpretation of the little wooden boy that captured our hearts in 2022.

0:00 - Intro and chat

17:20 - Plot Recap

1:00:30 - Rankings

This week we're talking about Pinocchio 3000, a 2003 animated film starring Malcolm McDowell, Whoopi Goldberg, Howie Mandell, and a load of other people. This futuristic take on Pinocchio isn't "good" but is a welcome departure from the boring, formulaic Pinocchio films we've discussed.

0:00 - Intro and Chat

14:30 - Plot Recap

1:03:00 - Rankings

Next up in our Pinocchio Cinematic Universe review series is 2002's Pinocchio, a film with the incredible distinction of holding a 0% critic's approval on Rotten Tomatoes, making it the worst-reviewed film we have ever watched as part of this podcast.

0:00 - Intro, opening chat

2:15 - Introduction to the movie & impressions

30:00 - Plot recap

1:10:00 - Rankings

Current Pinocchio Rankings:

We continue our review of a selection of Pinocchio films with Pinocchio's Revenge, a 1996 horror (?) film featuring the debut of Verne Troyer. We also discuss McDonald's for an extended period.

0:00 - Opening, Story Time

17:30 - Introducing Pinocchio's Revenge, Impressions

27:30 - Plot Recap

47:20 - McDonald's Intermission

55:00 - Plot Recap Part 2

1:25:00 - Rankings

Current Pinocchio Rankings:

We're taking a little break this week from the "regular" Pinocchio films to watch an episode of the 1994 animated Mega Man series, which neither of us had seen before. In this episode, Mega Man gets tricked into thinking that he's been turned into a real boy, just like the wooden puppet that nobody cares about.

This movie is a pure turd, honestly. Scott sent me a message saying that no god would allow this film to be made.

0:00 - Opening chat, Fantastic Four, X-Men 97 revival

7:45 - The Adventures of Pinocchio Intro and Impressions

22:30 - Plot Recap

1:15:00 - Rankings

We begin our review of the condensed Pinocchio Cinematic Universe with the animated film Pinocchio in Outer Space, which you can watch right here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7PP0zIoIqI

A very strange place to begin this series, but not the worst thing we've ever seen.

0:00 - Opening Chat, Games Industry Nonsense and Unsustainability

9:30 - Pinocchio Review Introduction (why are we doing this?)

15:22 - Pinocchio in Outer Space Introduction

28:00 - Plot Recap and Review

1:01:00 - Pinocchio Rankings

In this episode, we return once again to the world of film adaptations of video games, this time with 2023's Five Nights at Freddy's. Neither of us is overly familiar with the FNAF games, so this was a new experience for us. Wish it was a bit better, though.

0:00 - Opening Chat (Persona 3, Yakuza)

8:00 - Five Nights at Freddy's Introduction and Impressions

34:00 - Plot Recap

1:33:00 - Rankings