MIDDLE GROUND - Real Conversations on Faith, Identity & Becoming — Through Brynne's LDS Lens of Curiosity, Love and Doubt

In this episode, I sit down with my cousin Krystal McCort, a marriage coach who teaches couples how to design their marriage constitution. Think of it like the actual US Constitution but for your relationship: a living breathing document that outlines the laws and rules that govern how you communicate in every area of marriage. Krystal shares her Kerfuffle Formula, a step-by-step process for how couples bring up disagreements, process them, and reach resolution. We talk about the big three areas she coaches: how to fight, money, and the bedroom. She shares how unwritten expectations are the source of most marital conflict and how most of us are trying to enforce rules we never actually said out loud. I get vulnerable about my own money dynamics with Dallin and what I’m working on. Krystal’s best advice: learn how to communicate vulnerability with your spouse and it changes everything.

Brynne’s Resources:

✨Faith In Process Community: https://www.brynneerickson.com/faith_in_process_comunity_offer

Facebook: @Brynne Erickson - my public page

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573316550355

Instagram: @brynne_erickson

https://www.instagram.com/brynne_erickson/

Threads: @brynne_erickson

https://www.threads.com/@brynne_erickson?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Krystal’s Resources:

Instagram:

@krystal_mccourt

https://www.instagram.com/krystal_mccort/

@marriageconstitutioncoaching

https://www.instagram.com/marriageconstitutioncoaching/

Facebook:

Krystal McCourt

https://www.facebook.com/krystal.mccort

Chapters:

00:00 — Introduction: What Is a Marriage Constitution
 02:00 — The Kerfuffle Formula: How to Fight Without Destroying Your Marriage
 05:00 — Who You Talk to During a Fight and Why That Matters
 08:00 — Where the Constitution Idea Came From
 10:00 — Shared Values and Why You Need a Foundation First
 13:00 — The Big Three: Fighting, Money and the Bedroom
 16:00 — Unwritten Expectations Are Ruining Your Marriage
 20:00 — Brynne Gets Vulnerable About Money and Dallin
 25:00 — Sexual Expectations and Rejection Without Taking It Personally
 32:00 — Scheduled Sex, Back Cave Time and Bringing Physical Back In
 36:00 — Predetermining Parenting Scenarios Together
 40:00 — No-Go Topics: When to Leave Something Alone
 45:00 — Vulnerability, Childhood Wounds and Finances
 50:00 — How to Find Krystal and Work With Her

In the final episode of the Thought Model series, I bring it all together with actions and results. The results in your life right now are not random. They are the output of a loop that has been running on autopilot. Thoughts generate feelings, feelings drive actions, actions create results, and results become new circumstances that trigger the loop again. Dr. Barbara Fredrickson's research shows positive emotional states broaden our thinking and options while negative states narrow them. The loop becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy where we literally create evidence for what we already believe. The most accessible place to interrupt it is at the thought. I walk through the difference between unintentional models running by default and intentional models that start with the result you want and work backward. Thanks to neuroplasticity, you are not stuck with the brain or the thoughts you have always had. Every intentional thought you choose is building a new neural pathway.

Brynne’s Resources:

✨Faith In Process Community: https://www.brynneerickson.com/faith_in_process_comunity_offer

Facebook: @Brynne Erickson - my public page

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573316550355

Instagram: @brynne_erickson

https://www.instagram.com/brynne_erickson/

Threads: @brynne_erickson

https://www.threads.com/@brynne_erickson?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Chapters:

00:00 — Your Results Are the Output of a Loop
 01:30 — Feelings Drive Actions: Dr. Barbara Fredrickson's Research
 03:00 — The Loop: How Results Become New Circumstances
 04:30 — The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy and Why It Keeps Running
 06:00 — Unintentional Models vs Intentional Models
 07:30 — Working Backward From the Result You Actually Want
 08:30 — Where Affirmations and the REACH Method Fit In
 09:30 — Neurons That Fire Together Wire Together
 10:30 — Neuroplasticity: You Are Not Stuck With the Brain You Have
 11:30 — The Full Model One More Time: Let It Land
 12:30 — You Are Not at the Mercy of Your Circumstances

In part three of the Thought Model series, I get into the actual science of what happens in your body when an emotion fires. An emotion has a 90-second physiological lifespan. After that, the only thing keeping a feeling alive is the thought that keeps retriggering it. Dr. Candace Pert showed that emotions are biochemical events happening throughout your entire body, not just your brain. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk showed the body stores emotional imprints that the thinking mind cannot fix on its own. When a strong emotion fires, your prefrontal cortex goes partially offline, which Dr. Daniel Siegel calls flipping your lid. Willpower does not work in that state. The sequence is: let the chemistry move through, breathe, regulate, and then examine the thought. Anxiety, grief, anger, and sadness are all messengers with information. You are not too emotional. You are human and your feelings are doing exactly what they were designed to do.

Brynne’s Resources:

✨Faith In Process Community: https://www.brynneerickson.com/waitlist

Facebook: @Brynne Erickson - my public page

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573316550355

Instagram: @brynne_erickson

https://www.instagram.com/brynne_erickson/

Threads: @brynne_erickson

https://www.threads.com/@brynne_erickson?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Chapters:

00:00 — The 90-Second Emotion: What That Actually Means
 01:30 — Feelings Are Caused by Thoughts Not Circumstances
 02:30 — The Biochemistry: Dr. Candace Pert and Molecules of Emotion
 04:00 — Why Feelings Live in Your Body: Gut, Chest, Throat
 05:00 — The Body Keeps the Score: You Cannot Think Your Way Out
 06:00 — Flipping Your Lid: Why Willpower Fails Mid-Emotion
 07:30 — The Sequence: Regulate First, Examine the Thought Second
 08:00 — Feelings Are Information Not Problems
 09:00 — Anxiety, Grief, Anger, Sadness: What Each One Is Telling You
 10:00 — Emotional Intelligence and Why It Changes Everything
 11:00 — Next Episode: Actions, Results and How to Change Your Life on Purpose

In part two of the Thought Model series, I go deep on the difference between circumstances and thoughts. A circumstance is a neutral fact that could be captured on a video camera or stated in a court of law with no interpretation. A thought is the story your brain creates about that fact. My husband didn't take out the trash is a circumstance. My husband never listens and doesn't care is a thought. I share the neuroscience behind why your brain does this, including Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett's theory of the brain as a prediction machine and Dr. Daniel Kahneman's system one and system two thinking. Your brain is producing personalized interpretations based on your entire history, not objective truth. The most liberating idea: your thoughts are optional. This week's practice is the video camera test: when something gets a reaction out of you, pause and ask what would a camera actually capture here?

 Brynne’s Resources:

✨Faith In Process Community: https://www.brynneerickson.com/waitlist

Facebook: @Brynne Erickson - my public page

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573316550355

Instagram: @brynne_erickson

https://www.instagram.com/brynne_erickson/

Threads: @brynne_erickson

https://www.threads.com/@brynne_erickson?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Chapters:

00:00 — Introduction: There Was a Thought Between What Happened and How You Felt
01:30 — What a Circumstance Actually Is (Neutral Facts Only)
03:00 — Thought vs Circumstance: Real Life Examples
04:30 — Why Your Thoughts Feel Like Facts: Cognitive Distortions
05:30 — The Neuroscience: Your Brain Is a Prediction Machine
07:00 — System One vs System Two Thinking
08:30 — Your Thoughts Are Optional
09:30 — How to Examine Your Thoughts: Cognitive Restructuring
11:00 — The Video Camera Test: Your Assignment This Week
12:00 — Next Episode: Where Feelings Live in Your Body

In this first episode of a four-part series, I teach the Thought Model developed by Brooke Castillo of the Life Coach School, a tool that has been foundational to my own growth. The model has five components: circumstances lead to thoughts, which lead to feelings, which lead to actions, which create your results. Most of us assume our circumstances cause our feelings, but between every circumstance and feeling there is always a thought. I share how this idea goes back to Stoic philosophers like Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius, and how it became the foundation of cognitive behavioral therapy in the 1950s. The same critical feedback from a boss can make one person feel motivated and another feel shame, because the thought in between is different. Your assignment this week: when you notice a strong feeling, pause and ask what am I thinking right now? Next episode we go deep on circumstances and thoughts.

Brynne’s Resources:

✨Faith In Process Community: https://www.brynneerickson.com/waitlist

Facebook: @Brynne Erickson - my public page

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573316550355

Instagram: @brynne_erickson

https://www.instagram.com/brynne_erickson/

Threads: @brynne_erickson

https://www.threads.com/@brynne_erickson?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Chapters
00:00 — Introduction to the Thought Model
01:00 — The Five Components: Circumstances, Thoughts, Feelings, Actions, Results
02:30 — This Is Not New: Stoic Philosophy and 2000 Years of Proof
04:00 — How CBT and the Thought Model Are the Same Idea
05:00 — The Critical Feedback Example: Same Circumstance, Different Results
06:00 — Your Life Is Shaped by What You Think, Not What Happens
07:00 — Your Assignment This Week

In this episode, I sit down with my church friend Drey Hill.  Drey was born into the LDS church in 1987, and shortly after, his dad came out as gay to his mom. They divorced but remained incredibly close, with his dad attending every birthday, Christmas, and primary program while his boyfriend Brian became a regular part of family life. Growing up Drey kept it a complete secret at church, feeling he couldn't share during testimony meetings or anywhere else. He carried anger into his mission after learning how much his dad had hurt his mom. The turning point came in Wilton Manor, Florida's gay community, where a spontaneous encounter with a gay couple cracked his heart open. He also shares finding himself through an imposter syndrome breakthrough, surviving a devastating miscarriage, and what his dad taught him about God's love from a hospital bed.

Brynne’s Resources:

✨Faith In Process Community: https://www.brynneerickson.com

Facebook: @Brynne Erickson - my public page

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573316550355

Instagram: @brynne_erickson

https://www.instagram.com/brynne_erickson/

Threads: @brynne_erickson

https://www.threads.com/@brynne_erickson?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Chapters:

00:00 — Introduction & How Drey and Brynne Met
 02:00 — Dad Came Out as Gay in 1988: The Early Years
 05:00 — Two Dads, One Secret: Growing Up Hiding the Truth
 08:00 — Church, Youth Programs & the Rules We Couldn't Break
 10:00 — Telling the Stake President Before His Mission
 13:00 — How His Parents Stayed So Close After Divorce
 17:00 — Dad Still Watched Conference: A Testimony That Never Left
 20:00 — The Turning Point: Wilton Manor and Choosing Forgiveness
 25:00 — Gay Missionaries and a Whole New Perspective
 29:00 — Imposter Syndrome: The Instagram Influencer Who Took Over His Life
 33:00 — Miscarriage, Anger at God & Finding His Way Back
 38:00 — The Painting of Christ With No Handle on the Door
 41:00 — His Dad's Final Years, HIV & What He Taught About Love
 48:00 — Opening the Book: Telling the World About His Dad
 55:00 — What Love Actually Looks Like at the End of the Day

In this solo episode, I teach the actual neuroscience behind affirmations and why most people are doing them wrong. Your brain processes 11 million bits of information every second but your conscious mind only registers about 40. The reticular activating system decides what gets through based on what you tell your brain matters. Affirmations work because they give your RAS new instructions. The most common mistake is writing affirmations so far from your current reality that your brain immediately rejects them. I share my REACH framework: Real, Expanding, Active voice, Claimed, and Heart. I cover bridge statements for when the full affirmation feels like too big a leap, and share examples from Oprah, Muhammad Ali, Jim Carrey, Beyonce, and Dr. Joe Dispenza. Your homework this week is to write three affirmations using the REACH system, put them somewhere visible, say them morning and night for seven days, and notice what shifts.

Brynne’s Resources:

✨Faith In Process Community: https://www.brynneerickson.com/waitlist

Facebook: @Brynne Erickson - my public page

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573316550355

Instagram: @brynne_erickson

https://www.instagram.com/brynne_erickson/

Threads: @brynne_erickson

https://www.threads.com/@brynne_erickson?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Chapters

00:00 — Introduction: The Voice in Your Head Is Shaping Your Life
 02:00 — The Science: How Your Brain Filters Reality
 05:00 — Introducing the Reticular Activating System (RAS)
 07:30 — Why Most Affirmations Feel Fake and Fail
 10:00 — The Sweet Spot: Honest, Believable and Aspirational
 13:00 — The REACH Framework Explained
 18:00 — Affirmations in Action: Real Life Examples
 20:00 — Famous People Who Swore By Affirmations
 23:00 — How to Build a Daily Practice That Sticks
 27:00 — Bridge Statements: Start Where You Are
 30:00 — Your Seven Day Homework Challenge

Sources Used
Reticular Activating System / 11 million bits:
Timothy Wilson, Strangers to Ourselves: Discovering the Adaptive Unconscious (2002), Harvard University Press.

Thought counting / 6,200 thoughts per day:
Tseng, J. & Poppenk, J. (2020). Brain meta-state transitions demarcate thoughts across task contexts exposing the mental noise of trait neuroticism. Nature Communications, 11, 3480. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41467-020-17255-9

Negativity bias:
Baumeister, R. F., Bratslavsky, E., Finkenauer, C., & Vohs, K. D. (2001). Bad is stronger than good. Review of General Psychology, 5(4), 323–370.

Default mode network / repetitive thought patterns:
Raichle, M. E. (2015). The brain's default mode network. Annual Review of Neuroscience, 38, 433–447.

Emotion amplifying neural signals / combining thought + feeling:
Dispenza, J. Becoming Supernatural (2017), Hay House. (practitioner/author)

Famous people examples paraphrased:
These are widely documented public statements; Oprah's visualization practice is from numerous interviews.
Jim Carrey's check story is from his 1997 Oprah interview. 
Beyoncé's Sasha Fierce is from her own documentary and interviews. 
Ali's quote is extensively documented.

In this episode, I sit down with my brother Ryan Liston for a conversation about values, specifically honesty, respect, and responsibility. Ryan shares how leaving religion left him without a value-maker and how he stood on the stairs at BYU one day and realized he had no answer for why he should be honest. We talk about how values are nuanced and subjective, how withholding truth can sometimes be loving, and how responsibility shifts depending on your role. Ryan's framework for respect comes down to two things: admiring people just for being people, and doing as little harm as possible. We discuss assuming innocence and good intentions first, choosing empowering stories over disempowering ones, and how not agreeing with everyone is actually essential to growth. Ryan's takeaway: we all have a choice, and that choice can be guided by the world we want to help create.

Brynne’s Resources:

✨Faith In Process Community: https://www.brynneerickson.com/waitlist

Facebook: @Brynne Erickson - my public page

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573316550355

Instagram: @brynne_erickson

https://www.instagram.com/brynne_erickson/

Threads: @brynne_erickson

https://www.threads.com/@brynne_erickson?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Chapters:

00:00 — Introduction & Ryan's Background
 01:30 — Why Ryan Had to Rebuild His Values From Scratch
 04:00 — Standing on the Stairs at BYU: Why Should I Be Honest?
 06:00 — Values as a Guide to the World You Want to Live In
 08:30 — Be the Change: Honesty and Trust in Society
 09:00 — Is Withholding Truth Ever Okay? The Nuance of Honesty
 11:30 — The Deer Story: A Real Example of Compassionate Dishonesty
 13:30 — Values Are Nuanced Because They're Subjective
 15:00 — Responsibility: Does It Change When You Leave Religion?
 18:00 — The Etymology of Responsible: Accountability and Obligation
 19:30 — How Do We Respect Each Other When We Disagree?
 21:00 — Two Definitions of Respect and What They Mean
 24:00 — You Don't Have to Agree to Respect Someone
 26:30 — Most People Are Aiming for the Same Goal
 29:00 — Claiming Your Agency: The Hat and the Pledge of Allegiance
 32:00 — Letting People Choose Without Running Away
 34:30 — Assume Innocence and Good Intentions First
 37:00 — The Friend Who Chose Compassion Over Road Rage
 39:00 — Closing Thoughts: We All Have a Choice

In this walk and talk recorded at our annual family reunion at the lake, I share what I'm learning about the power of intentional creation. This year felt completely different from last year at the same event because I got intentional about how I wanted to feel before I arrived. I did my first dedicated breathwork session with a friend who is getting certified, and instead of working on my business I chose to work on my dread about the trip. We acknowledged the dread, gave it space, breathed through it, then visualized excitement and love. I came away with an actionable plan rather than just suppressing my feelings. I also share how prayer and meditation are close cousins and how stillness practices are a universal way to get the most out of this life. Whether it's breathwork, walking, crocheting, or therapy, I encourage you to find one practice that helps you get quiet and honest with yourself.

Brynne’s Resources:

✨Faith In Process Community: https://www.brynneerickson.com/waitlist

Facebook: @Brynne Erickson - my public page

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573316550355

Instagram: @brynne_erickson

https://www.instagram.com/brynne_erickson/

Threads: @brynne_erickson

https://www.threads.com/@brynne_erickson?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Chapters
01:04 The Power of Intentional Creation
03:38 Embracing Emotions and Creating Comfort
06:32 The Role of Prayer and Meditation in Life
08:51 Exploring Meditative Practices
10:04 Intentional Living and Self-Discovery
10:37 Finding Stillness and Inner Self

In this episode, I sit down with relationships coach Sara Payne to talk about what to do when you're not on the same page with your spouse, whether that's religion, parenting, or money. Sara challenges the assumption that not being on the same page is even a problem, sharing the mind-blowing idea from Jennifer Finlayson-Fife that we're all in mixed-faith marriages. We discuss the fear of empty chairs in heaven, and Sara shares how trusting in a God who is always win-win changes everything. I get vulnerable about money dynamics in my own marriage and we dig into why hard conversations feel so charged. Sara's core advice is to shift your goal from getting your partner on your page to genuinely understanding them, use resentment as a window instead of something to hide, and remember you're on the same team. She also reframes repentance simply as changing your mind.

Brynne’s Resources:

✨Faith In Process Community: https://www.brynneerickson.com/waitlist

Facebook: @Brynne Erickson - my public page

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573316550355

Instagram: @brynne_erickson

https://www.instagram.com/brynne_erickson/

Threads: @brynne_erickson

https://www.threads.com/@brynne_erickson?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Sara Payne's Resources:
Website: https://sarapayne.com/

Instagram: @sarapaynecoaching

https://www.instagram.com/sarapaynecoaching/

📕 It Just Takes One: https://www.amazon.com/Just-Takes-One-Create-Relationships-ebook/dp/B0FBSB6YSC/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2Q4MJR3DLC23A&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Rib63jK6JHhouBmMxZd_sEe39Tl5JTzd3RS_IYyxa287FhVRnd63TxLCvML6rhH_sOWT9SF53Lsytng_Ocipo5g2OemZUzkVCALxf8q0mucFuR3ta9jdtoqvoLSwV_-G0WktKtUmyq2s4JEpJfBrtXsu4Hw9S9OzTCK3FnYKptj0igcpEONYsRfHLj39nB0_4QAar9b4ksAoSp3kL3t3ODc2YXuvwZ-yEs9q_iinlsU.37QfdEFgyptG_o9ohuMSc2c9S-ZcYmhGMGjWaKR8jcY&dib_tag=se&keywords=it+just+takes+one&qid=1785879724&sprefix=it+just+takes+one%2Caps%2C222&sr=8-1

Chapters:
01:05 Navigating Differences in Relationships
03:53 Understanding Mixed-Faith Marriages
06:50 The Role of Faith and Beliefs in Relationships
09:54 The Power of Love Over Fear
12:53 Embracing Imperfection in Parenting
15:52 The Challenge of Financial Discussions
18:50 Finding Common Ground in Disagreements
30:34 Understanding Each Other's Perspectives
32:02 Navigating Financial Conversations
35:10 Self-Awareness in Relationships
36:41 Separating Personal Feelings from Partner's Stress
39:23 Finding Common Ground
42:21 The Importance of Vulnerability
45:47 Win-Win Solutions in Relationships