Are the people closest to you helping you grow or keeping you stuck?

As we get older, our relationships change. Sometimes we grow together, sometimes we grow in different directions, and sometimes we have to reconsider who deserves our time, energy, and access.

But does personal growth really mean cutting off everyone who isn’t “leveling up” with us?

In this episode of Middle of the Fence, Andre explores choosing the right people to have around you, outgrowing friendships without making someone the villain, the responsibility that comes with being trustworthy, setting boundaries with family, and becoming more intentional about where we direct our time and energy.

But there’s another side to the conversation: before we start evaluating everyone around us, we also have to ask whether WE are the kind of person others should want in their circle.

Are you surrounding yourself with the right people? And just as importantly, are you being the right person for the people around you?

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Website: https://www.middleofthefence.com/

Is music actually getting worse or are we just getting older?

We've all heard someone say, “They just don't make music like they used to.” But what if there's more behind that feeling than we realize?

In Episode 60 of Middle of the Fence, Andre explores how streaming, shorter songs, viral hits and the changing business of music may be influencing creativity and artistry.

But there's another side to the conversation: nostalgia.

Research suggests the music we hear during our formative years can become deeply connected to our memories, relationships and sense of identity. So are today's songs really worse—or are we comparing them to music carrying memories that new songs could never recreate?

From Pitbull and Flo Rida throwbacks to Michael Jackson, Prince, Guns N' Roses and today's streaming era, this episode explores why music changes, why our tastes change and why certain songs will always hit differently.

Maybe music changed...And maybe we did too.

🎵 What song instantly takes you back to another time in your life?

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Website: https://www.middleofthefence.com/

What does it actually mean to love someone when doing what feels right might also mean disappointing them, creating distance, or even letting them go?

In this episode of Middle of the Fence, Andre gets personal about several difficult relationship experiences that have challenged the way he thinks about love...not just romantically, but within family and friendships too.

From experiencing a deep romantic connection while realizing that connection and compatibility aren't always the same thing, to navigating an emotional conversation with family, to learning that loving a struggling friend doesn't mean you can rescue them, this episode explores what mature love may actually require from us. 

Andre also explores Self-Expansion Theory, why losing someone can sometimes feel like losing part of yourself, the importance of autonomy within healthy relationships, and whether we should stop measuring the success of relationships solely by how long they last.  

Because maybe someone can change your life without being meant to stay in it forever.

Sometimes love means staying. Sometimes it means fighting harder. Sometimes it means having the uncomfortable conversation. Sometimes it means establishing a boundary.

And sometimes love means letting go.

So when does fighting for someone become holding onto something we're supposed to release and when does choosing ourselves become giving up too quickly? 

Like most things in life, the truth is probably somewhere in the Middle of the Fence.

"No matter what side of the fence you grew up on, we're all more alike than we think."

___________

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Website: https://www.middleofthefence.com/

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Website: https://www.middleofthefence.com/

How much do race, upbringing and lived experience influence the way we interpret the world around us?

Using the national conversation surrounding the death of Nolan Wells as a starting point, Andre explores how our personal experiences shape the conclusions we reach, and why two people can look at the same situation and see something completely different.

Episode 58 examines race, trust, motivated reasoning, cognitive bias and the tension between acknowledging history and allowing evidence to challenge what we already believe.

History can shape the questions we ask. But should it determine the answers we accept?

"No matter what side of the fence you grew up on, we're all more alike than we think."

___________

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 🎥 Watch full episodes on YouTube: @andrespruell

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For more Middle of the Fence, visit:
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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/p/Middle-of-the-Fence-61572183504501/
Website: https://www.middleofthefence.com/

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For more Middle of the Fence, visit:
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Website: https://www.middleofthefence.com/

What happens when you spend years trying to fit into boxes you were never meant to fit inside?

In Episode 57 of Middle of the Fence, I sit down with Fab, owner of the award-winning Fab & Jules Salon in Montclair, to explore a journey shaped by immigration, identity, faith, sexuality, authenticity, and resilience.

After moving from Brazil to the United States at just 13 years old, Fab found himself caught between cultures...no longer feeling fully Brazilian, yet never completely American. As he navigated family expectations, religion, and coming out as gay, he eventually discovered that chasing acceptance from others often comes at the cost of losing yourself. 

Throughout this conversation, we discuss:

• Growing up between two cultures and searching for belonging
 • Why authenticity is more valuable than acceptance
 • The difference between respect and approval
 • Building your chosen family
 • Community vs. individualism
 • Why social media often creates unrealistic expectations
 • Learning from heartbreak, failure, and life's growing pains
 • Why you should "put your own oxygen mask on first"
 • Practical life advice like "Have your own back" and "When unsure what to do, do nothing." 

If you've ever questioned where you belong, struggled to be your authentic self, or simply want a conversation that challenges the way we think about identity, success, and human connection, this episode is for you.

Connect with Fab & Jules:

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fabandjules/

📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/fabandjules/

___________

If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow Middle of the Fence, leave a rating and review, and share this conversation with someone who could benefit from it.

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 🎥 Watch full episodes on YouTube: @andrespruell

___________

For more Middle of the Fence, visit:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/middleofthefence/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/p/Middle-of-the-Fence-61572183504501/
Website: https://www.middleofthefence.com/

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 🎥 Watch full episodes on YouTube: @andrespruell

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Website: https://www.middleofthefence.com/

When you hear the phrase "Black excellence," what comes to mind?

For many people, it means extraordinary achievement—championships, wealth, awards, or public recognition. But what if we've been defining excellence too narrowly?

In this episode of Middle of the Fence, Andre explores the historical origins of the phrase Black excellence, why it became an important form of recognition, and how psychology helps explain why representation matters. Along the way, he reflects on his own experiences growing up Black American and Argentinian, the role identity played in shaping his perspective, and the moment that challenged him to think differently about the impact he wanted to leave on the world.

Most importantly, this conversation asks a bigger question: What if true excellence isn't measured by fame or titles...but by character, integrity, service, compassion, and the lives we influence every day?

Whether you're interested in personal growth, leadership, psychology, history, race, culture, or meaningful conversations that challenge conventional thinking, this episode invites you to redefine what excellence looks like—not just for one community, but for all of us.

In this episode:

• What "Black excellence" really means and where the phrase comes from
 • Why recognition and representation matter
 • The psychology behind Social Identity Theory and role models
 • Personal reflections on identity and belonging
 • Why character may matter more than accomplishments
 • How to define excellence beyond wealth, fame, and status
 • What legacy we leave through our impact on others

Question of the episode: What does excellence look like in your own life?

___________

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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/p/Middle-of-the-Fence-61572183504501/
Website: https://www.middleofthefence.com/

📲 Follow & leave a 5-Star rating to best support this show.
 🎥 Watch full episodes on YouTube: @andrespruell

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For more Middle of the Fence, visit:
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Website: https://www.middleofthefence.com/

Have you ever felt like the world wanted you to choose just one version of yourself?

Whether it's your culture, career, beliefs, relationships, or identity, society often encourages us to simplify who we are so we fit neatly into a category. But life isn't that simple and neither are people.

In Episode 55 of Middle of the Fence, Andre explores why humans naturally seek belonging, how conformity shapes the decisions we make, and why authenticity often requires the courage to stand apart from the crowd. Drawing from psychology, personal experiences, and thoughtful reflection, this episode challenges listeners to embrace every part of who they are instead of feeling pressured to "pick a side."

In this episode, we discuss:

•  Why society encourages conformity 
•  The psychology behind social identity and belonging 
•  How social media rewards certainty over nuance 
•  Why authenticity attracts the right people 
•  Learning to embrace every part of your identity 
•  The power of thinking for yourself 

Question of the Episode:

Have you ever felt like people wanted you to choose between different parts of who you are? What did that experience teach you?

___________

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For more Middle of the Fence, visit:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/middleofthefence/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/p/Middle-of-the-Fence-61572183504501/
Website: https://www.middleofthefence.com/

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For more Middle of the Fence, visit:
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Website: https://www.middleofthefence.com/

Can a nation's history define the people living there today?

In Part 2 of this two-part documentary special, we move beyond headlines and explore the history behind one of the biggest conversations surrounding the 2026 FIFA World Cup.

From the history of Afro-Argentines and European immigration to the stories nations choose to remember—and the ones they often forget—we examine how Argentina's past has shaped its identity while asking a much larger question:

How should history influence the way we see people today?

As someone who is both Black and Argentinian, this episode is deeply personal. I share my family's story, my experiences traveling to Argentina, and why I believe understanding history requires both honesty and consistency.

This isn't about defending Argentina.

It isn't about condemning Argentina.

It's about asking whether we're willing to apply the same standard to every nation—including our own. 

In this episode:

•  The overlooked history of Afro-Argentines 
•  European immigration and Argentina's national identity 
•  Why Black Argentina became less visible over time 
•  My family's experience with prejudice 
•  Comparing Argentina's history with the United States, Brazil, France, Spain, and Portugal 
•  Why consistency matters when discussing race and history 
•  My personal experiences visiting Argentina 
•  Why conversations and cultural experiences reduce prejudice 
•  The bigger lesson behind this documentary special 

My hope for this series isn't to tell you what to think.

It's to encourage you to ask better questions.

Because no matter what side of the fence you grew up on...

We're all more alike than we think.

___________

📲 Follow & leave a 5-⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ rating on Spotify and Apple Podcasts to support this show.
 🎥 Watch full episodes on YouTube: @andrespruell

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For more Middle of the Fence, visit:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/middleofthefence/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/p/Middle-of-the-Fence-61572183504501/
Website: https://www.middleofthefence.com/

About Middle of the Fence

Hosted by Andre Spruell, Middle of the Fence explores the experiences of people who grew up between different worlds, cultures, beliefs, and perspectives.

Our mission is simple:

To remind people that no matter what side of the fence they grew up on... we're all more alike than we think.

📲 Follow & leave a 5-Star rating to best support this show.
 🎥 Watch full episodes on YouTube: @andrespruell

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For more Middle of the Fence, visit:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/middleofthefence/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/p/Middle-of-the-Fence-61572183504501/
Website: https://www.middleofthefence.com/

Can an entire country be defined by the actions of a few?

As Argentina continues its 2026 FIFA World Cup run, accusations of racism have dominated headlines and social media following a viral incident involving streamer IShowSpeed. But before labeling an entire nation, are we asking the right question?

In Part 1 of this two-part documentary special, I explore how viral moments shape public perception, why our brains naturally generalize entire groups, and the psychology behind stereotypes, confirmation bias, the availability heuristic, and the out-group homogeneity effect. Rather than defending or condemning Argentina, this episode challenges us to think more critically about how we judge people, cultures, and countries.

As someone who is both Black and Argentinian, this conversation is deeply personal. My goal isn't to tell you what to think—it's to encourage you to ask better questions.

In this episode:

•  The 2026 World Cup controversy involving Argentina 
•  The IShowSpeed incident and FIFA's response 
•  Why one viral moment can shape perceptions of an entire nation 
•  Confirmation Bias 
•  Availability Heuristic 
•  Out-group Homogeneity Effect 
•  Contact Hypothesis 
•  Why meaningful conversations reduce prejudice 
•  Why this topic matters to me personally 

Part 2 explores Argentina's racial history, Afro-Argentines, European immigration, historical erasure, and why history deserves both honesty and nuance.

Remember:
No matter what side of the fence you grew up on... we're all more alike than we think.

___________

📲 Follow & leave a 5-⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ rating on Spotify and Apple Podcasts to support this show.
 🎥 Watch full episodes on YouTube: @andrespruell

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For more Middle of the Fence, visit:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/middleofthefence/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/p/Middle-of-the-Fence-61572183504501/
Website: https://www.middleofthefence.com/

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For more Middle of the Fence, visit:
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Website: https://www.middleofthefence.com/

Most of us grow up wanting to be liked.

We avoid conflict.
We struggle to say no.
We put other people's comfort ahead of our own authenticity.

But what happens when chasing approval starts costing us opportunities, confidence, and peace of mind?

In this episode of Middle of the Fence, Andre Spruell explores the difference between being liked and being respected and why understanding that distinction can completely change the way you approach relationships, leadership, personal growth, and everyday decisions.

Drawing from personal experiences and psychological insights, Andre discusses why people pleasing is so common, how healthy boundaries actually strengthen relationships, and why lasting respect is built through integrity rather than popularity.

If you've ever worried about disappointing others or felt pressured to earn everyone's approval, this conversation is for you.

In this episode:

• Why we naturally crave acceptance
• The psychology behind people-pleasing
• Why respect and popularity aren't the same
• How boundaries create healthier relationships
• The role authenticity plays in earning trust
• Why becoming someone you respect changes everything

If this episode resonates with you, please follow the podcast, leave a rating and review, and share it with someone who values meaningful conversations.

Because no matter what side of the fence you grew up on, we're all more alike than we think.

Question of the episode:

What's more important to you today...being liked or being respected?

___________

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 🎥 Watch full episodes on YouTube: @andrespruell

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For more Middle of the Fence, visit:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/middleofthefence/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/p/Middle-of-the-Fence-61572183504501/
Website: https://www.middleofthefence.com/

📲 Follow & leave a 5-Star rating to best support this show.
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For more Middle of the Fence, visit:
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Website: https://www.middleofthefence.com/