MidLife Calling

Do the words self-care inspire you or do they feel empty?

The idea of self-care has become a commodity, a marketing position for products and activities. We can turn to Google for ideas about how to best check this box for ourselves. We can also turn inward and listen to what we truly need, what parts of ourselves are asking for, and even begging for our attention.

We have different perspectives on self-care and what it means to us. Is it the latest buzzword that's gained traction during the COVID years? Is it grounded in practice and deep reflection? Do we need other words to describe these activities?

In this episode, we share what the idea of self-care means to us and our path of learning to listen to the whispers of what we need.

It's about noticing.

It's intentional.

It's about grace.

It's a daily practice.

Do the same lessons keep crossing your path? Is this irritating?

If you're shaking your head yes or shrugging your shoulders, you are not alone. Not all lessons are learned the first time around. It doesn't mean we're not paying attention, it means that each time the lesson shows up, we deepen our knowledge & skills to navigate it. We become more nimble each time.

Yes, it's frustrating to think that we've figured it out only to have it come back AGAIN. The frustration can be a messenger if we choose to see it that way. It can be our way of polishing, and fine-tuning our skills. The question then becomes, how can the latest version of a familiar lesson be helpful? Tune in and listen to our thoughts!

Head in the sand and spiral or an invitation to the table?

Have you noticed that the good stuff arrives after the bumps, faceplants, and struggles?

How do the bumpy phases show up- physically, mentally, emotionally, or a glorious combination of ALL three?

Both of us have walked some bumpy & rocky roads recently in our personal and professional lives. We've made it to the other side by asking a powerful question (one that typically gets us out of our heads and into that soul, knowing place).

Who do I want to be in the midst of this experience?

A stress ball - - a nervous wreck - - thoughtful - - coming from grace - - cynical - - hopeful - - from a scarcity or an abundance mindset?

There are COUNTLESS ways to answer this question, and sometimes it's a messy mash-up of many responses.

Life moves right along until it doesn't.  We are in a groove until we are no longer.  We keep stress at bay until it stops us in our tracks. 

We are in motion, productive, efficient, ticking items off of our to-do lists until our mind or body has a different plan. 

Does this sound familiar? 

It’s in our ability to pivot- to shift gears, to change the direction that is our greatest superpower.

Recently, both of us had growing moments (the uncomfortable times) when we needed to USE the tools we have to walk through stress and overwhelm that we could no longer ignore.  Are we broken?  No.   Are we at that growing edge- that time of choice during which we opt to notice where we are and decide if this is where we want to remain?  Yes.

Here's the ninja move- the balance we seek is within.  At times, drenched in stress, angst, and overwhelm.  We can air it out and find our way forward with grace and self-compassion.

How did you define intimacy, sex, and pleasure in your 20's?  How much different are your definitions after 40?

Our experience with perimenopause, ricocheting hormones, fluctuating moods, and inconsistent energy is one thing that brought us together as best friends and soul sisters. Ok, it WAS also a catalyst for starting this podcast!

When we took this conversation to the next level- how this stage of life shifted (and impacted) our relationship with our bodies and our relationships with others, it was clear that this is an opportunity to find our voice.

Many of us suffer in silence when it comes to intimacy, sex, and pleasure after 40- afraid to ask for what we need, share what we want, and be open about what we desire.

We’re opening up this conversation, bringing in a guest to share another perspective, and candidly sharing our stories of stepping into awkward and vulnerable conversations that deepened our relationships.

With December days passing quickly and 2023 fast approaching, we know that 90% of New Year's Resolutions are in the dumpster in the first 10 days.  The question then becomes, why set ourselves up for angst and self-criticism?

We opt to welcome deep questions that help us consider where we’ve been and get excited about our next destination. We reflect on what worked well and those things that did not serve us as intended or hoped.   Ok, we ALSO take time to celebrate accomplishments and triumphs because there is ALWAYS more than we think (when we get quiet enough to listen). 

As we look to 2023, we are focused on creating a life full of gratitude, kindness, and grace toward ourselves and others. The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written.  Hope smiles from the threshold of the new year, whispering.... "It will be all that you desire it to be".

Have you ever stumbled into a moment only to realize that your assumptions are way off-base? 

This happened to us in a recent conversation around relationships- how we show up, how we define them, what we seek, and what we desire.  Over a cup of coffee, we sorted out the messages that create the lens through which we see, how we find ourselves, and how we create something that is all our own. 

The agency within us can shift ALL of these things. What do we want, desire, seek, and envision?   What path will we create for ourselves?  Does it matter if it's a different one from those around us?