Midlife Momentum

Curiosity is desirable and powerful, but when fragmented, it becomes a liability. Every time you mindlessly consume content without context or an objective, you’re building a mental bottleneck.

However, you want to make room for serendipity and be able to follow rabbit holes even if there lacks evidence of a connection to your goals and work.

How do you balance following curiosity without falling into cognitive overload?

Last week, I discussed the importance of having a clearly defined “Why?” before starting a project and the need to create a plan that details the scope and deliverables before starting. Otherwise, how will you know that a project is finished?

I fully intended to have an example plan to share with you this week so I could explain the components to include, but life had other plans.

This week, I’m bringing you a behind the scenes look at my actual process of chasing curiosity while trying to minimize fragmentation and cognitive overload.

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What Is the Project?

When I created a spreadsheet of potential projects and ranked them according to my SHELL Framework, I gained enormous clarity. It showed me which projects would provide me with the highest return on investment.

But this week, when I reviewed this list, I realized that many of these “projects” should actually be components of other undefined learning projects.

For instance, one project I listed was “Read On The Shortness of Life by Seneca,” I absolutely want to do it, but why?

I’ve been a subscriber to Ryan Holiday’s newsletter for quite some time, and what little I know of stoic philosophy seems to resonate with me. I also have an interest in reading classic literature to deepen my understanding of the world and life in general.

I actually don’t remember how On The Shortness of Life got on my radar and why I chose it over Meditations or Letters From a Stoic. I think it was because there was a newer translation that is supposedly more accessible and it’s fairly short. I thought it would be a good place to start.

But what am I specifically trying to learn? What is the actual learning project that would require reading this book to complete? What would the deliverable be?

I don’t know. So, for right now, I’m choosing to not move forward with reading this book.

If I want a project to have a clear why and deliverable, I’m going to need to reconsider what a project is. It’s clear to me that “Watch this video” or “Read this book” is insufficient.

A Real-Time Case Study

Here’s how this played out in real time this morning.

I was on YouTube and saw a clip from a TED talk by Manoush Zomorodi about boredom and how it activates something called “default mode.”

I was about to click through to watch the TED talk, but I stopped to ask, “Why?”

I then opened my notes (in Obsidian), created a new document under projects titled “Reading & Watching List,” and created a link to this TED talk.

Under this link, I started explaining my why:

I always tell Piper about how it’s good to be bored, and I know that when I’m bored and not filling my mind with stimulus, I have interesting thoughts. This video might give me pointers to primary research and evidence I can use in my broader picture of personal development.

Then I thought, “Does this relate to any of my favorite problems?” My gut told me it related to “How can I uncover and influence the hidden systems shaping my life?” But why?

So, I linked to the page for this question (you gotta love backlinks) and continued to think about how this is linked to hidden systems.

Well, it reminds me of something I initially read in the book Contact Modalities by Grant Cameron, so I hopped on Perplexity and asked:

In the book Contact Modalities, Grant Cameron mentions how setting an intention before sleep can give you the answer when you wake. He also mentions how Thomas Edison would sit in a chair with keys or ball bearings in his hand, so when he reached a certain level of consciousness, he’d drop the keys and wake up, and this was when he would have his answers. Please share any keywords or phrases about this phenomenon, including the brain frequency during this level of consciousness.

It comes back with an interesting result (with links to sources) explaining that the phenomenon described involves leveraging the transitional state between wakefulness and sleep (hypnagogia) to access creative insights or solutions.

Cool! Now I wonder if this is related to “default mode” that was mentioned in the clip about boredom, so I ask Perplexity, “Is there a connection between hypnagogia and “default mode”?

It turns out the term is actually “default mode network,” and yes, they share a functional connection.

Additionally, I recall that Bob Proctor mentioned Thomas Edison's story when discussing the topic of “Creative Imagination” in contrast to “Synthetic Imagination.”

So now I write in my notes:

I’m interested in leveraging the default mode network and the transitional state between wakefulness and sleep (hypnagogia) to access creative insights or solutions.

Now we’re getting somewhere.

Instead of spending 16 minutes watching a video with a vague idea of “this seems interesting, maybe it will be useful,” I now have new data. I discovered that boredom connects to the default mode network and hypnagogia, and this is interesting to me because it seems like a hidden system where ideas materialize from thin air.

I don’t know about you, but this seems like a way more productive use of time than passively watching YouTube.

In the past, I would have just clicked through to the video, watched it, and maybe I’d take away an interesting fact. But I’d have nothing to show for it. Even though this process wasn’t a predefined project, I could follow my curiosity and use it to develop clarity around my interests and build connections between them.

What started as fragmented curiosities are now tied together in a common thread. I didn’t plan for this to become anything more than a curiosity checkpoint, but it feels like the start of something bigger. That’s where the idea of “Project Seeds” comes in.

Project Seeds

There is a concept in knowledge management called “Digital Gardening,” where you write little notes and ideas (seeds), and over time, you revisit them, improve and expand on them, and connect them to other little seeds, which grow and develop into mature work.

I could easily see how these ideas might develop into a full project someday, but it wasn’t quite ready.

So I opened another note in my projects folder called “Project Seeds” and wrote:

This is where I allow project ideas to germinate. I don’t want to create projects willy-nilly and then waste a ton of time on dumb projects.

So, how would I connect the dots if I created a learning project around these topics?

Creative Imagination Project

Bob Proctor talks about creative imagination, which involves pulling from infinite intelligence to create things that have never existed before. An example of this is how Thomas Edison would sit with a problem in mind and fall asleep with keys in his hand. When the keys dropped, he’d wake up with new ideas.

This state between wakefulness and sleep is called hypnagogia and is somehow connected to the default mode network, which is activated when you’re bored.

How do these states work, and how can I leverage them to tap into creative imagination?

I’m interested in producing original work and feel like creative imagination is something I’d need to leverage.

Maybe I’ll embark on this project, maybe not. It will most likely evolve into a completely different project at some point. I don’t feel like I’m ready to jump in, and I haven’t defined the deliverable for this project.

This is good enough for now. The process I’ve been through has left me feeling energized. I feel like I’ve actually engaged with the learning process and actively learned about a few new concepts.

Takeaways

I hope this process of “showing, not telling” was helpful. I don’t want this newsletter to be a boring repository of theory, but rather a snapshot of the processes I’m going through as I try to become a more active participant in my life.

Curiosity is amazing and should absolutely be cultivated, but in a deliberate way. When you filter it through reflection, link it to deeper questions, and track it with intention, it becomes fuel for meaningful progress. This isn’t about killing wonder. It’s about harnessing it, turning drift into direction, exploration into momentum, and curiosity into meaningful creation.

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I’ve spent hundreds of hours reading books and taking courses, hoping they would help me grow. But most of the time, I finish and can’t remember a single thing that matters. There are no big ideas, no change, just a hollow, frustrating feeling that I wasted my time. I knew something had to change, so I started experimenting. What I’m trying now feels completely different.

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Background

I’m curious. I always want to learn new things, and I dream about all the ways my life will change by reading this book or taking this course.

However, I’m a busy guy, and the piles of content keep growing.

I first noticed a problem back in 2020. I had all these audiobooks and podcasts I was excited to get through. I filled every moment of downtime with audio. Going for long walks, shopping at the grocery store, or in the car.

Brian Tracy notes that listening to audio programs during car rides can provide the equivalent of a university education each year, as it offers practical and condensed wisdom.

My audiobook and podcast queue kept growing, and I listened at 2x speed to crank through as much as possible. However, I noticed that my brain couldn’t always handle it.

There were some days I could listen to audiobooks with no problem. On days I found books hard to concentrate on, I’d downshift to podcasts and music if that was too hard. Only as a matter of last resort would I downshift to silence if my mind was too scattered to absorb anything.

The problem was that even on audiobook days, I wasn’t absorbing anything. At the end of the month, I couldn’t even remember what books I listened to, let alone any important takeaways.

This was a bit of an existential crisis for me.

I’ve always attached myself to the identity of a lifelong learner. My undiagnosed but likely autism lends itself to my ability to rattle off all sorts of weird trivia about subjects I’ve focused on through the years.

I was so busy trying to get through all this content, and then, on the other side, I realized it was all a waste of time, and I was no better off than if I had just sat and watched TV the entire time.

The Problem

Around this time, I discovered Tiego Forte and his Building a Second Brain live cohort course. This had to be the solution. If my first brain was failing me, maybe I just needed a second brain to pick up the slack.

It did help a bit in the short term. I really focused on it and took a lot of handwritten notes, and I can honestly say I’m still applying what I learned in that course today. However, it didn’t solve my problem.

Most of my content consumption was audio because I was so busy with work and my daughter that I never had the time or ability to sit down and focus on reading words on a page (or screen.)

This, of course, also meant I wasn’t taking notes to put in my second brain. The few courses where I was in front of a computer and took notes did make a minor impact on my life, and I still go back to reference notes from some of the Jesse Elder courses I took during that time.

But I’m still not satisfied with my results. What I get in terms of real-world impact from the hundreds of hours and tens of thousands of dollars I spend on education is embarrassing. I actually feel humiliated when I look at how much debt I’ve accumulated “investing in myself,” while having nothing to show for it.

The Idea

When I signed up for Building a Second Brain, I did so through Timothy Kenny’s affiliate link. I figured if I was going to spend $2,500 on this course, I should maximize my value, and he offered bonuses if I signed up through him.

I purchased many of Timothy’s courses (on Udemy) and even hired him as a coach for a while. Much of his material is beyond me, but his ideas stick and eventually work their way into my daily practices.

Most importantly, Timothy doesn’t teach the same stuff as everyone else. Even if it’s the same subject, his approach is always unique.

One idea he put out there was creating a “One Pagerr” plan for each project. He has a whole structure to include in this plan, but I want to focus on one aspect today.

The Method

In a project one pagerr plan, it’s recommended to list a primary goal in the summary, then list goals, questions, and deliverables later in the plan.

I think this is a key part that I’m missing. I’m hoping to learn things by reading books and taking courses, but I never take the time to define a learning project.

My experiment is to define what I expect the outcome to be as precisely as possible before I take a course or read a book.

I’ll define each learning project’s goals, questions, and deliverables. This will help me determine whether the book or course is something I should be doing. If I can’t formulate a goal, maybe I shouldn’t waste time on it. Once I have a goal and questions, I can identify if the material answers them and helps me achieve the goal.

Then, what will I produce as a byproduct of completing this project? Am I just creating notes or a report so I can review them as needed in the future? Should I create spaced repetition cards to help me commit things to memory? Is there a skill I’m hoping to develop so I can do something that I can’t do yet? Maybe I need to create content for my newsletter?

Having a deliverable will help focus my studying. Everything I read or watch will filter through the lens of “Does this answer any of my questions? Will this help me ship my deliverable?”

The last thing I plan on bringing to this practice is an idea shared early in Building a Second Brain. It’s to have a list of 12 favorite problems. This was something Richard Feynman had. By having a list of 12 favorite problems or questions, you’ll always be on the lookout for things to support solving these problems.

I envision creating top-level projects around each question I come up with. That way, when I’m defining a learning project, I can ask, “Does this support one of my favorite problems?”

I haven’t come up with 12 favorite problems yet (only 5), but here’s what I have so far:

* How do I focus on the work that matters most?

* How can I uncover and influence the hidden systems shaping my life?

* How can I build invisible bridges that multiply the value of what’s already there?

* How do I maximize the applied value of what I learn?

* How do I design a meaningful life with momentum and alignment?

Next Steps

Even if you don’t plan to create your own one pagerr, I think it will be very helpful to define ahead of time what you want to get out of something before you spend a bunch of time on it.

I haven’t created my first one pagerr yet. Perhaps next week, I’ll share a plan and explain the pieces more closely.

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The trail was covered in ice. Where people had walked, the snow was compacted and slick, and I was heading downhill over a lot of rocks. It’s easier to be present when you’re just trying not to slip and crack your head open.

This weekend, I conducted an experiment. I headed to Blue Mound State Park, grabbed a notebook, and left my phone in the car. I wanted to step away from the constant stimulation and see if anything interesting surfaced.

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I spent four hours in nature, alternating between tromping through the elements and sitting and writing in my journal. The physicality of it was challenging as I’m an overweight, out-of-shape computer nerd. There were a lot of hills, which by themselves would have been challenging, but slipping and sliding in ice and mud made it even more of an ordeal.

The weather in Wisconsin was pretty good for March. The temp got up to around 55 F but it was windy which at times was pretty uncomfortable.

I enjoy walking and being in nature, but this was really difficult. I wasn’t able to zone out and let my mind wander like I’d typically do on a long walk. I really had to be present, focusing on my footing.

My hope going into this would be that I’d get some amazing download from the universe but I think the results were more subtle than that.

Insights

My journaling surfaced with some interesting thoughts.

Busy-ness vs. Productivity

I have a tendency to overcommit and then burnout, which leads me to feel guilty, so I start more projects, which starts the cycle all over again.

I also have this conflict between feeling overwhelmed and wanting a simpler life and the idea that I need to grow and develop as a person. This will be something I need to spend time thinking about to really unpack.

I think in the short term, I have several projects that I discussed in How I’m Deciding Which Projects Are Worth Pursuing Right Now, but I need to keep my list of open projects short. Additionally, I need to make one of my “projects” to take time to disconnect and spend time doing nothing.

I want to be clear on what I mean by doing nothing. Technically, we’re always doing something. I can sit on my couch and watch the paint peel, but that’s still “something.” So, in this context, I mean specifically not reading, listening, or socializing. I should be alone with my mind and give my brain the space to think.

Burnout Recovery

This aligns with my desire to make space for “doing nothing.” However, it has a different spin.

I attended a workshop recently where the host claimed that rest is not sufficient to recover from burnout.

Specifically, there were three strategies to reverse burnout.

1. Vagus Nerve Stimulation

2. Dopamine Recalibration

3. Cognitive & Behavioral Techniques

So, I will investigate options for all of these. I know spending time away from stimulating devices and activities will help with what is described as a “dopamine detox,” so that’s good. My therapist suggested a few practices like breathing exercises and humming that should help with vagus nerve stimulation.

Feedback

Would you consider disconnecting and spending time in nature with nothing but your thoughts and a notebook? Do you have experience with reversing burnout? Please comment or send me a DM.

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I know I want to focus on foundational skills and habits to help improve my day-to-day, but there are so many different things I could work on.

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Do I improve my software development skills? If I need to switch jobs, I should really study data structures and algorithms because that will be needed for higher-paying jobs. I haven’t needed it so far in my 20-year career, but I’m not getting any younger, and I need to compete with younger folks. However, I don’t want to drill LeetCode. That sounds boring. Besides, do I even want to stay in this career?

I’ve signed up for many courses through the years. There is a lot I’d like to work on. But there are also a lot of books I want to read. Several of my side projects, not to mention this newsletter, need attention.

I get so overwhelmed I don’t work on anything. Sometimes, I can do something, but it’s whatever I feel like doing at the moment, probably not the best thing to work on. I need to figure this out.

Ideally, I’ll have a list of everything I’m working on or want to work on and score them to identify which projects will give me the biggest return on my time & money investments.

You’ve probably seen some existing frameworks out there. A common one is the Eisenhower matrix, where you group tasks on whether or not they are urgent and/or important. In the project management space, there is a great acronym, RICE, where you score each project based on Reach, Impact, Confidence, and Effort. However, these aren’t metrics that matter for personal projects.

The SHELL Framework

I headed to ChatGPT to help me brainstorm what a personal version of RICE might look like. Well, the acronym we came up with wasn’t quite what I expected going in, but I’m sharing the first draft of the SHELL framework with you today.

I’ve already found a few limitations of this framework, but it’s a good starting place.

SHELL stands for Speed, Heart, Effort, Longevity, and Leverage. Let me explain each in the context of this framework. Each metric will be given a score of 1-5, and then you multiply them together and sort the list by this total score.

Speed

Initially, I thought speed would be how long it takes to complete the project, but when I started scoring my tasks, I realized it should be more like a “Time Commitment.”

If it’s a major time commitment, it gets a 1, and if it’s a minor time commitment, you give it a 5.

I have several long-term projects that might not require much time on a weekly basis. Should these be scored low because they will be ongoing long-term projects? Should they be scored high because they don’t take up much time every week?

I’m choosing to score projects 5 if they have small weekly commitments, even if they are long-term projects.

Heart

Heart represents how much this project juices you up.

Are you excited and motivated to do it, or does this feel like a “should” that you think you need to do? This is important to consider.

Effort

How much effort will this project require? Is this an easy or difficult project? Give it a 1 if this is a super difficult project. Give it a 5 if it’s easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Longevity

Now, it’s not good to only prioritize quick and easy projects. You also need to balance long-term benefits.

Give longevity a high score if completing this project will make your life better far in the future.

Leverage

Leverage should be scored high if completing this project will make your other tasks & projects easier or unnecessary.

It doesn’t have to only help other projects on your list. You could score this high if it’s a fundamental skill like learning public speaking.

One trick I’m using is if the project has prerequisites, I score it 0 for leverage, so the whole row is zeroed out because I can’t start it yet.

Downstream Benefits

The biggest problem I see with the SHELL framework (which might be okay) is that an ideal score should consider the downstream benefits.

Leverage is an incomplete way to measure this. If I have a project that is a prerequisite for a bunch of high-value projects, should the score reflect this?

I don’t want this to become some crazy Gantt chart, so I think it’s okay to ignore. It’s just an extra piece of data you can look at when deciding what to work on now.

Implementation

To try this out and see if it was helpful, I created a spreadsheet and brain-dumped 28 projects that I’ve either started or would like to start.

Quickly, I realized that it’s helpful to consider scope. Many of my projects were “Read this interesting book.” Sometimes, that might be a higher time commitment (lower score), but then I remembered something we do at work.

Instead of just creating a ticket for a particular project, we might create an investigation ticket. This is where we’ll take a week or two to figure out the real scope of the project. Are there any prerequisites or blockers? Is this a much bigger project than we expected?

So, I change some of my projects to “investigation” projects. In the context of books, it might become “Skim this interesting book,” which is less effort and quicker. Then, I can decide if the book requires a deeper dive, which I can put down as a new project.

The result of doing this exercise is I discovered that I should spend my time right now completing two quick Timothy Kenny courses about specific learning skills, as well as the year-long iCanStudy program because I know if I invest in skills around learning and note-taking, all of my other projects will become more valuable.

I already struggle with getting value out of and remembering what I read (even worse with podcasts and audiobooks.) So, if I can postpone all these books until I’ve figured out new skills to try, they have a better chance of impacting my life.

What I also discovered is that, as of right now, it’s probably not the best use of my time to study algorithms and data structures. Yes, they scored high for longevity and mid for leverage, but it would be a major undertaking in both time and effort, and frankly, my heart isn’t in it.

I’m looking forward to using this list as an ongoing planning tool where I add projects (especially courses) to see if it makes sense for me buy and start. This alone, should help shrink my education budget category.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll keep adding projects as they come up. I know there are a bunch of ongoing coding projects I haven’t added yet. I like that if I put something down and it gets a low score, I can tweak it (change the scope) and see if there's a better way to approach it.

Feedback

What do you think? Does this help you? Any suggestions for tweaking it? Please comment and let me know.

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In September, I stepped on the scale, and I felt like I would puke. I clocked in at 307.1 lbs, an all-time high.

All year, I had been hovering around 300, which was frustrating because I was trying to lose weight. In May, I walked 6,500 steps every day, and in August, I had a grilled chicken salad every day for lunch. Why wasn't I losing weight?

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The donuts. It was probably the donuts.

Back in January 2023, my intuitive reader suggested I investigate Virta.

Virta is a medically supervised online keto program. At the time, I had GHC for health insurance, and Virta wasn't covered, but a year later, my company switched to Quartz. I decided to try it, so I filled out their application form and waited.

I talked with their triage staff, shared my medical history with their physicians, and had a blood panel taken. When my lab results were posted, I saw that my hemoglobin A1c was 5.8. I'm pre-diabetic.

I started my diet on October 28th, the Monday before Halloween. I guess I didn't need all that candy anyway. I controlled myself and made it through Halloween and Thanksgiving. On November 30th, I weighed 280.8. Wow, I had lost 26.3 lbs!

I couldn't believe that this was actually working.

I know it will take a long time to lose all the weight. For a "normal" BMI, I need to weigh less than 185 lbs. I just focus on the milestones.

On Christmas, I weighed 270 lbs.

Now, I'm not good with finances. I spend recklessly and have accumulated far more debt than I'm comfortable with. Over the last few years, I've used YNAB to track my spending. Notice I didn't say "to maintain my budget."

Yeah. It wasn't intended to be used every couple of months.

I was unprepared to see how much I spent between Black Friday and Christmas. Puke!

I'm not one for New Year's resolutions, but January 1st is as good a time as any to start budgeting.

Much like losing weight, reigning in my spending habits and paying off my debt will not happen overnight. But crafting a budget and reconciling it daily seems like a good place to start.

So far, I'm pleased with my progress.

That leads us to today and why I'm writing this long-winded essay.

I'm 43 years old and feel unmoored, like a ship without a rudder. My life is good, and I've had success, but I feel it's more from being in the right place at the right time or pure coincidence, not from a deliberate plan.

I have a 10-year-old daughter. Retirement isn’t some abstract concept anymore. If I don’t take control of my life now, I could be one illness, one layoff, or one bad year away from a future I don’t want. That’s urgency for you!

My wins with weight and budget have motivated me to keep going and see what else I can improve. I could benefit from some focus on time management, organization, and that little thing they call "finding meaning in your life." You know, no pressure or anything.

Mid-life crisis? Maybe. I don't see any sports cars or young models in my future, but I wouldn't turn away Cara Delavigne if she showed up on my doorstep. Lol.

I’m planning to write about what I'm going through. The challenges I’m facing and the experiments I’m running. I'm not sure if anyone will read it or find it interesting. Hopefully, it will be more action and less navel-gazing.

If this sounds interesting, shoot me a message and let me know what you think.

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