Midlife with Courage™-Helping Women over 40 Find Their Voice, Trust Themselves & Live Boldly with Kim Benoy

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Kim talks with leadership advisor and subtraction activist Nell Derick Debevoise Dewey about why adding more is not always the answer. Nell shares how a major car accident became the wake-up call that pushed her to rethink busyness, distraction, and the cost of overcommitting to herself and the people around her. 

We discuss how subtraction can improve well-being, relationships, and leadership, especially in midlife when legacy responsibilities, work demands, and future opportunities all pile up at once. 

Nell also shares her simple stop, drop, roll method for testing what to let go of, plus the role of body signals and unhelpful thinking in deciding what stays and what goes.

Chapters

00:00 - Meet Nell Derick Debevoise Dewey and the idea of subtraction
 01:13 - The 3D framework: self, work, family, and world
 02:31 - The accident that changed everything
 04:21 - How busyness affects the people around you
 05:41 - The hidden impact of modeling overwhelm
 07:11 - Why the phone habit keeps coming back
 08:34 - Dopamine, craving, and the chase for more
 11:00 - Midlife overload and the sandwich generation
 11:54 - Why the past and future can crush us without subtraction
 13:25 - Subtraction is personal, not prescriptive
 14:19 - The stop, drop, roll method explained
 16:08 - Listening to data from sleep, stress, and relationships
 17:57 - Experimenting with what happens when you let something go
 19:30 - When subtracting a meeting reveals a new problem
 21:15 - The body as a source of truth
 22:51 - Why women and men may experience pressure differently
 25:30 - The forthcoming book and current writing work
 26:25 - Where to find Nell and access her materials
 27:21 - Passion as both a gift and a risk
 29:21 - Subtracting unhelpful thinking and self-talk

Notable quotes

• “Put your oxygen mask on first.”
• “Too much is dangerous.”
• “Subtraction might be things, but sometimes the most powerful subtraction is unhelpful thinking.”

Nell is most active on her Substack account called Subtract to Succeed and she is giving the Midlife with Courage™ listeners a 90 day guest pass to check it out. You can use this LINK to get to it. 

You can also hear more from Nell by watching her recent TEDx talk HERE. 

Support the show

You've spent your life taking care of everyone else, now it's your turn. It's time to stop shrinking yourself and start taking up space. 

That might look like speaking up in conversations, not apologizing when you've done nothing wrong or setting boundaries. 

Wherever you are playing small in your life, I can help change that. 

The next It's Not J.U.S.T. You™ workshop is coming soon. Make sure you don't miss it by clicking HERE. 

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Want to be a guest on Midlife with Courage™-Bold Women Thriving After Forty with Kim Benoy? Send Kim Benoy a message on PodMatch, here: 

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In this episode, Dr. Cindy Howard shares her journey through cancer, the power of language, hope, and resilience. Discover how mindset and intentional language can transform life's challenges into opportunities for growth.


 Key  topics

• Walking through cancer with resilience
• The impact of language and mindset
• Hope as a proactive choice
• Lessons from divorce and adversity
• The duplex theory of relationships

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Dr. Cindy Howard and her story
01:28 Discovering cancer through clinical signs
02:51 Diagnosis of Hodgkin's lymphoma
04:09 Delivering bad news to oneself
06:27 The importance of language: from 'have' to 'experience'
08:04 The power of mindset and words
16:38 Hope as a proactive choice
20:43 Coping with grief and adversity
23:06 Lessons from divorce during illness
27:14 Letting go of toxic relationships
28:12 The duplex theory of relationships
32:22 Creating personal boundaries in relationships
36:47 Final message: walking through adversity with hope and action

Get to know Dr. Cindy by checking out her website https://drcindyspeaks.com/. You will find her book, podcast and so much more. 

Support the show

You've spent your life taking care of everyone else, now it's your turn. It's time to stop shrinking yourself and start taking up space. 

That might look like speaking up in conversations, not apologizing when you've done nothing wrong or setting boundaries. 

Wherever you are playing small in your life, I can help change that. 

The next It's Not J.U.S.T. You™ workshop is coming soon. Make sure you don't miss it by clicking HERE. 

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Want to be a guest on Midlife with Courage™-Bold Women Thriving After Forty with Kim Benoy? Send Kim Benoy a message on PodMatch, here: 

Podmatch Link


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Kim Benoy talks with Toni Will about personal transformation, the language of recovery, and defining success on your own terms. Toni shares what it’s like to lead in professional hockey as one of very few women in the role, and how the lessons she’s lived shaped her book, Rebellious Success.

In this episode:

• Toni reflects on quitting drinking for good in 2020 and the earlier turning point that began her journey.
• She explains why traditional recovery language and frameworks, including AA, didn’t feel like the right fit for her.
• Kim and Toni discuss language around alcohol use and the value of finding a path that works for you.
• Toni shares what it can mean to get off track before finding your way forward again.
• She describes leading the business and community side of the Kalamazoo Wings in a male-dominated sport.
• Toni talks about responding to bias and public criticism with intention rather than reaction.
• She explains how she defines success for herself—beyond social media metrics and other people’s expectations.
• Toni shares the inspiration behind Rebellious Success and her podcast, Women In....

Timestamps:

• 00:00 — Introduction to Toni Will
• 02:01 — Toni’s decision to quit drinking for good
• 03:44 — The experience that became an early turning point
• 05:26 — Why traditional recovery language didn’t fit her
• 07:48 — Choosing language that feels right
• 10:18 — Getting off track to get on track
• 12:31 — Injury, exercise, and giving yourself grace
• 14:10 — Why we can focus on mistakes instead of wins
• 16:24 — Being a woman in professional hockey leadership
• 19:49 — Navigating public criticism and bias
• 22:26 — Knowing when to step back from leadership roles
• 24:23 — How a different perspective can be a strength
• 26:10 — Defining success on your own terms
• 28:17 — Letting go of shame and other people’s expectations
• 29:55 — Why life isn’t an Instagram highlight reel
• 31:35 — Toni’s coaching work
• 32:20 — The purpose behind Women In...
• 33:42 — Toni’s final message: “Just be you”

Notable quotes:

• “I drank out loud, so I needed to quit out loud.”
• “Sometimes you have to get off track to get on track.”
• “Life is not an Instagram highlight reel.”

You can reach Toni on her website toniwill.com. You'll find her book, podcast and coaching opportunities there as well.

Support the show

You've spent your life taking care of everyone else, now it's your turn. It's time to stop shrinking yourself and start taking up space. 

That might look like speaking up in conversations, not apologizing when you've done nothing wrong or setting boundaries. 

Wherever you are playing small in your life, I can help change that. 

The next It's Not J.U.S.T. You™ workshop is coming soon. Make sure you don't miss it by clicking HERE. 

***************************

Want to be a guest on Midlife with Courage™-Bold Women Thriving After Forty with Kim Benoy? Send Kim Benoy a message on PodMatch, here: 

Podmatch Link


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For Luanna McGuire, what started out as a way to inspire her daughters, has turned into a book and encouragement for many more people. Luanna has spent her nursing career as a travel nurse, filling in for staff shortages or vacations around the country. What she found along the way was adventure and, surprisingly to her, courage. 

This week, Kim talks to Luanna about what it means to be brave and how she took lessons from her early experiences and used them in her career and personal life. 

You can find more about Luanna including her book on her website: https://lmcguireauthor.com/

Support the show

You've spent your life taking care of everyone else, now it's your turn. It's time to stop shrinking yourself and start taking up space. 

That might look like speaking up in conversations, not apologizing when you've done nothing wrong or setting boundaries. 

Wherever you are playing small in your life, I can help change that. 

The next It's Not J.U.S.T. You™ workshop is coming soon. Make sure you don't miss it by clicking HERE. 

***************************

Want to be a guest on Midlife with Courage™-Bold Women Thriving After Forty with Kim Benoy? Send Kim Benoy a message on PodMatch, here: 

Podmatch Link


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This week, Kim explores how the stories we tell ourselves shape our mindset and confidence. She shares practical ways to identify, challenge, and change negative narratives to empower midlife women.

Key Topics:

• The impact of self-told stories on confidence
• How stories are interpretations, not facts
• Techniques to challenge negative narratives
• Examples of changing stories in real life
• The importance of self-awareness and journaling
  
  Chapters
  
  00:00 Introduction to the power of stories we tell ourselves
  02:01 Stories are interpretations, not facts
  03:09 Changing your perspective on unanswered texts
  05:11 Overcoming negative thoughts about workshop success
  07:07 Valuing your contributions and achievements
  09:20 Breaking the myth of needing to make everyone happy
  11:01 Valuing yourself and your story
  12:17 Turning stories into empowering truths
  13:07 Next steps: changing your inner narrative
  
  

Support the show

You've spent your life taking care of everyone else, now it's your turn. It's time to stop shrinking yourself and start taking up space. 

That might look like speaking up in conversations, not apologizing when you've done nothing wrong or setting boundaries. 

Wherever you are playing small in your life, I can help change that. 

The next It's Not J.U.S.T. You™ workshop is coming soon. Make sure you don't miss it by clicking HERE. 

***************************

Want to be a guest on Midlife with Courage™-Bold Women Thriving After Forty with Kim Benoy? Send Kim Benoy a message on PodMatch, here: 

Podmatch Link


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What's your super power?

In this episode, Noreen Noble shares her inspiring journey through midlife, emphasizing the importance of self-trust, understanding our origin stories, and embracing our inner superheroes to live more joyfully and authentically.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Noreen Noble and episode overview
01:55 Noreen shares her personal midlife aha moment
04:57 The nine origin stories of superheroes and their human counterparts
10:06 The importance of self-trust and self-love
14:59 Neuroscience and body-based coaching techniques
19:55 Practical tools: breathing and posture for emotional regulation
25:12 Discovering and activating your superpowers
30:02 The role of community and shared stories in empowerment
31:56 Noreen's book and coaching offerings

Find the superhero inside of you by going to Noreen's website:
NoreenNoble.com

Noreen is offering Midlife with Courage™ listeners an opportunity to quiet the mental noise, reconnect with their intuition, and strengthen their ability to trust themselves. Go to noreennoble.com/trustyourself and use the code PODCAST to get this 5-day experience for free.

If you enjoyed this fun conversation with Noreen and you want to help her get her book out into the world, she is raising funds and asking for feedback. 

CLICK HERE to learn more. 

Support the show

You've spent your life taking care of everyone else, now it's your turn. It's time to stop shrinking yourself and start taking up space. 

That might look like speaking up in conversations, not apologizing when you've done nothing wrong or setting boundaries. 

Wherever you are playing small in your life, I can help change that. 

The next It's Not J.U.S.T. You™ workshop is coming soon. Make sure you don't miss it by clicking HERE. 

***************************

Want to be a guest on Midlife with Courage™-Bold Women Thriving After Forty with Kim Benoy? Send Kim Benoy a message on PodMatch, here: 

Podmatch Link


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In this episode, Mary Rothwell shares her journey from a career in therapy to becoming a certified forest therapy practitioner. She discusses how nature can be a powerful teacher for personal growth, resilience, and thriving in midlife.


Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Mary Rothwell and her work
01:51 Mary's journey from a career in therapy to nature-based practices
03:49 The lessons we can learn from plants about resilience and thriving
07:10 The importance of returning to childhood passions and authenticity
09:59 Understanding our essential nature and how to embrace it
13:05 The chemical and energetic connection between humans and nature
15:03 How to incorporate nature into everyday life and work
16:52 Using metaphors from plants to foster personal and professional growth
20:00 The significance of roots, nutrients, and environment in thriving
23:13 The story behind the name 'No Shrinking Violets' and empowering women
26:51 Mary’s coaching approach: burn and build, and helping women find their true selves
27:58 How to support independent authors and the importance of community

If you'd like to learn more about Mary you can go to her website: https://maryrothwell.net/.

You'll find links to her book called Nature Knows: Grow and Thrive Through the Wisdom of Plants, her podcast and her coaching opportunities. 

Support the show

You've spent your life taking care of everyone else, now it's your turn. It's time to stop shrinking yourself and start taking up space. 

That might look like speaking up in conversations, not apologizing when you've done nothing wrong or setting boundaries. 

Wherever you are playing small in your life, I can help change that. 

The next It's Not J.U.S.T. You™ workshop is coming soon. Make sure you don't miss it by clicking HERE. 

***************************

Want to be a guest on Midlife with Courage™-Bold Women Thriving After Forty with Kim Benoy? Send Kim Benoy a message on PodMatch, here: 

Podmatch Link


NEWSLETTER

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FACEBOOK

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In this episode, Stephanie Carlin shares her journey into subconscious reprogramming and how it can transform your life by shifting limiting beliefs, especially for midlife women. Discover practical techniques to access your inner power, release emotional blocks, and live in your truth vibration.

Stephanie shares her journey of breaking free from the relentless pursuit of excellence. From childhood pressures of perfection to realizing that success isn’t about being the "good girl," her story resonates deeply with many of us. 

She dives into how our subconscious beliefs can keep us hidden, especially midlife women who are ready to share their brilliance with the world. It’s time to acknowledge the emotional turmoil and barriers we create that hold us back from stepping into our power. 

Learn more about Stephanie

You can find Stephanie on Instagram @Stephanie_Carlin and on her podcast called Truth Vibration with Stephanie Carlin. She offers visualizations and explorations into your subconscious with each episode. 

Support the show

You've spent your life taking care of everyone else, now it's your turn. It's time to stop shrinking yourself and start taking up space. 

That might look like speaking up in conversations, not apologizing when you've done nothing wrong or setting boundaries. 

Wherever you are playing small in your life, I can help change that. 

The next It's Not J.U.S.T. You™ workshop is coming soon. Make sure you don't miss it by clicking HERE. 

***************************

Want to be a guest on Midlife with Courage™-Bold Women Thriving After Forty with Kim Benoy? Send Kim Benoy a message on PodMatch, here: 

Podmatch Link


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This week, Kim talks with therapist, writer, and activist Jen Gallagher about women’s rage in midlife and why it deserves to be taken seriously instead of minimized. The conversation connects emotional suppression, perimenopause, and physical health, while giving listeners a clearer way to understand rage as information, not failure.

Key topics

• In this episode, Kim introduces Jen Gallagher and frames the discussion around rage as a topic many women feel but rarely talk about openly.
• Jen shares how her own autoimmune illness became the turning point that pushed her to examine how much she had been prioritizing everyone else over herself.
• She describes how rage showed up in her own life first as road rage, which made her realize she was carrying more suppressed anger than she had admitted.
• They discuss how women’s rage is often layered over years of self-neglect, people pleasing, and emotional minimizing.
• Jen explains that rage in midlife is often tied to both accumulation and hormonal change, especially the loss of estrogen’s calming effect.
• Kim and Jen talk about how often women are told, “It’s just perimenopause,” and why that explanation can erase real emotional and physical needs.
• Jen shares a powerful example of a woman whose unresolved rage surfaced in a dramatic moment at home, leading to deeper clarity about her marriage and her own needs.
• The conversation highlights shame and embarrassment as major reasons women do not talk about anger, even when it is clearly affecting their lives.
• Jen explains that therapy, journaling, and honest conversation can help women process rage safely and identify what it is trying to reveal.
• They connect suppressed rage with physical stress, inflammation, and chronic activation of stress chemicals like cortisol and adrenaline.
• Kim and Jen discuss how over apologizing and centering other people’s comfort can keep women disconnected from their own truth.
• Jen reframes rage as an approach emotion, something that can fuel courage, boundary setting, and necessary change.
• The episode closes with a message of self-worth and permission: women are worth the time and attention it takes to understand what they feel.

Connect with Jen on her website: jengallaghercounseling.com and take her rage quiz. 

What if your next vacation helped you come home feeling healthier, more rested, and truly recharged?

Joyous Escape Travel is inviting women to step away from the demands of everyday life and join the Reset & Rise Wellness Cruise this January. It's more than a vacation-it's an opportunity to relax, connect and return home feeling refreshed. Reserve your spot HERE at Joyous Escape Travel today. 

Support the show

You've spent your life taking care of everyone else, now it's your turn. It's time to stop shrinking yourself and start taking up space. 

That might look like speaking up in conversations, not apologizing when you've done nothing wrong or setting boundaries. 

Wherever you are playing small in your life, I can help change that. 

The next It's Not J.U.S.T. You™ workshop is coming soon. Make sure you don't miss it by clicking HERE. 

***************************

Want to be a guest on Midlife with Courage™-Bold Women Thriving After Forty with Kim Benoy? Send Kim Benoy a message on PodMatch, here: 

Podmatch Link


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This week, Kim shares her personal journey of finding her voice, overcoming the tendency to shrink herself, and empowering women to take up space and speak their truth. This episode explores the roots of self-silencing and offers practical steps to reclaim confidence.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to the episode and theme of finding your voice
00:16 Kim shares her personal journey and the importance of self-awareness
01:02 The roots of self-silencing in childhood and societal expectations
02:17 How relationships influence women to shrink their voices
03:23 Recognizing when your voice is being taken away
04:59 Kim's story of her daughter coming out and its impact on her
12:23 The importance of reclaiming and standing in your power
14:14 Introducing the 'It's Not Just You' workshop for women
15:57 Encouragement to women to take up space and speak their truth

When you are ready to improve your health, you want someone who will walk alongside you, not hand you a plan and walk away. Stephanie Anderson with Renew Wellness is your Wellness Strategist who uses your unique strengths to create a plan to get you on the path to wellness. Go to her website and learn how Stephanie can help. 

https://renew-wellness.com/wellness-roadmap

Support the show

You've spent your life taking care of everyone else, now it's your turn. It's time to stop shrinking yourself and start taking up space. 

That might look like speaking up in conversations, not apologizing when you've done nothing wrong or setting boundaries. 

Wherever you are playing small in your life, I can help change that. 

The next It's Not J.U.S.T. You™ workshop is coming soon. Make sure you don't miss it by clicking HERE. 

***************************

Want to be a guest on Midlife with Courage™-Bold Women Thriving After Forty with Kim Benoy? Send Kim Benoy a message on PodMatch, here: 

Podmatch Link


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