SPOILER WARNING

This podcast contains a spoiler for Agatha Christie’s 1926 classic The Murder of Roger Ackroyd. If miraculously, you have just ordered this from Amazon and don’t want to know who the killer is, it’s best to listen to this episode after reading the book.

Similarly, if you’ve also somehow managed to avoid spoilers for the original Star Wars trilogy and The Sixth Sense and would like to one day experience those unspoiled, it’s best to come back to this podcast after watching those movies.

Furthermore, if you worry that by simply being told there’s a twist, it will spoil your experience of a movie, there’s a potential spoiler for another movie – which I will refrain from mentioning here for obvious reasons.

There’s also some discussion about the plot of the videogame Broken Sword 5: The Serpent's Curse, so maybe play that first too.

Finally, if this is how you found out that that the Carlton AFL team won a football game that you had recorded and were going to watch later, Nobody offers her sincere apologies.

You know what, it’s probably best to consume every piece of literature, film, videogames, sports and any other major entertainment event in history before listening to this show. For those who still insist on pressing onward, you have been warned!

"And she’s buying a stairway to Heaven"

- Ben decides it’s time to check whether Nobody is the Zodiac killer.

- We play Led Zeppelin backwards and listen for satanic messages.

- Nobody wants to establish some firm ground rules about spoiler warnings after getting spoiled on a 99-year-old book.

- Ben poses a hypothetical about living like a hamster for a year.

- We discuss deadbeat seahorse mothers and the most and least likely animals to commit a crime.

- Ben recounts a story about an elephant rampaging through a funeral and Nobody teaches us about stingray math.

"There's a ghost in me who wants to say, I'm sorry"

- Nobody appreciates the honesty of Bank First.

- Nobody thinks ghosts are more surprising than scary and we consider the best haunting strategy.

- Ben proposes a text message alert system after accidentally texting the group chat.

- Nobody falls on a chain mail sword and we attempt to loophole our way out of being killed by the girl from The Ring.

- Nobody professes her love of the terrible ‘recall email’ feature.

- Ben asks how early is too early to get on a waiting list for an aged care facility.

- Nobody asks Ben how old he feels?

- Nobody doesn’t understand the economy and we plot our way into the wills of ten thousand people.

"You and your high horse"

- Ben asks what happened to the tint at the top of a car windshield?

- We taste test the new M3GAN 2.0 Fanta.

- Ben takes some time to update his medical history for his dentist.

- Ben pays tribute to Australian Survivor host Jonathan LaPaglia.

- Ben shares an uncomfortable moment with the cashier at ALDI.

- Ben discovers the truth about the mystery meat he ate in Tokyo.

- Nobody abandons her husband at the PAX video game convention.

"We could fall in love in new shapes"

- Ben takes aim at the Macquarie Banking app (also known as a bap) and it's mysterious $ button.

- We make it rain coins at Australian strip clubs and design a range of jeans with dick windows and taint periscopes.

- Nobody uncovers a Lynx body spray scandal.

- We discuss the Mother (definitely not Monster and we’d never suggest otherwise) energy drink relaunch and other similar shake ups.

- Nobody has some strong opinions about ‘scarf season’.

- Nobody gets a new cat.

- Ben struggles with his cat sitting duties.

- Rodney takes a stroll through the skinhead district.

"My neck, my back..."

- Nobody wants everyone to know about her cool new vest.

- We sweat over making big purchases on our phone.

- We blame the older generations for everything and ponder what we have in common with Gen Z icon Jacob Elordi.

- Ben ponders how they convinced everyone to work on the Death Star.

- We wonder how serial killers meet each other.

- Nobody’s physio gives her an unexpected compliment.

- Nobody’s medication causes her to breathe too easily and Ben thinks he’d make a terrible Spider-Man because flying seems terrifying.

- Ben reviews the Turbuhaler.

- Ben devises a scheme to scam his orthodontist.

"And who would've thought? It figures."

- We accidentally leave our drinks in the freezer.

- We once again revisit the story of Ben’s mums ‘Don’t look up’ text message.

- Ben continues his review of Anyone But You with a heavy emphasis on fingers in Glen Powell’s butt.

- We go bowling and Ben steals Nobody’s luck.

- We reminisce about scouring community markets as children for bootleg movies and games.

- Ben celebrates a small victory by not paying for parking (and instead paying for a car wash).

- We discuss Ben’s water bottle situation and Nobody drags her husband into choosing her nail polish colour.

"I alone love you, I alone tempt you"

- Ben wants everyone to experience the joy of peeling the paper off a tub of butter.

- SMSiquette: Ben’s girlfriend may be a snake and Nobody has questions about ‘The Numbers’ on her phone.

- Nobody drifts off to sleep watching The Rookie and we discuss the difference between being buff and masculine.

- We review Anyone But You and Nicolas Winding Refn’s filmography.

- Ben recounts his visit to Universal Studio’s where his family and friends realise they’ve never seen him happy before and his feet nearly fall off.

- Ben wants to know how Nobody talks to ChatGPT.

"I bless the rains down in Africa"

- We raise an eyebrow at the unusual towel that Nobody once gifted Ben and discuss who the settler and reacher are in her marriage.

- Nobody joins her body corporate and gets into another car accident, which may have resulted in a personality change.

- Ben has a run in with a suspiciously named man on the Japanese subway.

- Ben is amused by the Japanese payment app ‘PayPay’.

- We discuss poorly named cyber security apps and sharing your location 24/7.

- Ben is struck by Japan’s propensity for unusual advertising collaborations.

- Ben demands more from his electric toothbrush battery.

- Ben is unsettled by a non-rotating microwave.

- We dissect the sounds of Japan: jingles and fire alarms.

- Ben asks Japan to rethink its approach to single use plastics and trash cans.

- A Japanese patrol robot piques Ben’s curiosity.

- Ben performs a risky Japanese super toilet experiment.

- Ben is underwhelmed by the contents of Freak’s Store and Nobody reminisces about her greatest high school comebacks.

- Nobody recounts her holiday clothes shopping experience at Fatty Fatgirl.

"You might as well be farting, farting with a walkman on"

- Nobody farts on some joggers.

- Ben asks Nobody a hypothetical question about dead people, a year in the making.

- We play the ‘who feels more dead?’ game.

- We field an offer to have New Zealand’s preeminent porn star Layla Kelly, on the podcast.

- Ben orders a train ticket and instead gets showered with K-Pop merchandise.

- Ben makes his annual Activate Your Read Receipts Day PSA for 2025.

- We taste test and ponder the origins of OKF water.

"Knock-knock-knockin' on Heaven's door"

- Ben follows Drake’s lead and invites 25 Miss Universe contestants to the show.

- Nobody gets sick and tries to text God.

- Ben wonders how the ongoing Leongatha mushroom trial has affected beef Wellington consumption.

- We debate soup versus stew and the coolest foods to get caught eating.

- We consider which of Ben’s friends would be the most likely to eat him.

- Nobody recounts the time Agatha Christie went missing and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was recruited to the case.

- We make plans for the true crime podcast in the event of Nobody’s murder.

- Nobody struggles to find a moniker for her mum’s dead partner.

- Ben is shocked by the people who ask how his dad died.