THIS EPISODE we are joined by Dan Maher a.k.a. MrPointyHead, who is most famous for beating my score on Punch Quest like some kind of stupid jerk.

We talk about THESE GAMES:

- Punch Quest
- Assassin's Creed 3
- Some other stuff possibly I can't remember

Then we do questions. Due to a ludicrous technical hitch, some stuff is missing off the end. Sorry. We'll make up for it by making the next episode even longer than usual. 

Haahahahahaha!

Aye. AYE.

Limited synopsis for this one, as Andi decided to take a good week or so before sending his audio over, so the edit was a brief one. We are joined by childhood friend and OXM staff writer Matt Lees and he is PRETTY GOOD. He didn't even complain about your stupid fucking questions!

Man, I can't even remember what games we talk about on this one. Borderlands 2, I think, and XCOM. And... others.

ENJOY.

OR DON'T

HELLO this week myself and Andi are joined by long-time listener, first-time caller 'Crazy' Eddie Johnston. We talk about GAMES. Specifically THESE GAMES:

- Borderlands 2
- Liberation Maiden
- Metal Gear Solid

And maybe other stuff. Then it is questions time!

We haven't forgotten about the Formula 1 competition, by the way. We just... just give us a minute, okay? Okay?

Thanks.

I HAVE BARELY LISTENED TO THIS BECAUSE I'M EDITING IT WHILE I'M MEANT TO BE GETTING READY FOR EUROGAMER EXPO.

PETE BARKER IS ON IT

WE TALK ABOUT GAMES ON THIS ONE.

COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE PODCAST'S FILE FORMATS HAVE BEEN NOTED AND WE HOPE TO BE UPLOADING MP3S IN THE NEAR FUTURE.

I LOVE YOU GOODBYE

PODCAST.

Sorry it's been a while. We attempt to make this up to you by doing over two hours of listener questions. Everyone says that's the best bit anyway, so shut up.

Sean McTiernan has the dubious honour of being the first guest to come on the show twice. We are glad this has happened and hope you are too. I honestly can't remember most of this episode, but there is definitely a good bit about Valve's $100 Greenlight submission controversy, and a bit about Ian Dickson's romantic endeavours that we had to remove.

Hopefully we'll be back to semi-regular shows again now, so please don't forget that we exist. PLEASE.

If you like murderous animals or grown men talking about beating up kids, you were custom-built to enjoy this episode.

We are joined this week by the God of Games himself, Robert Florence. If you're not aware of his work, find Consolevania on iTunes and come back when you've watched the whole lot and we can be friends again.

We talk about RECENT GAMES like Grim Fandango, Just Cause 2, Skyrim (ANDI) and Tribes: Ascend. That last one is actually kind of recent, so I put it at the end so as not to ruin the joke immediately.

Then we answer questions. They were good questions. Our answers, less so.

While we're here: huge thanks to those of you who wanted us to get nominated for a GMA this year. Knowing that you lot wanted us to win something and bothered to tell us so carries more weight than any award. ALTHOUGH IT WOULD'VE BEEN NICE TO GET SHORTLISTED SO MAYBE TRY HARDER WITH THE LOBBYING NEXT YEAR YEAH.

No but really, thanks. Means a lot.

CHEERIO.

Andi sounds like crap this week IT IS HIS FAULT NOT MY FAULT. Sounds like he's recorded using his laptop's built-in mic, and not the headset he was actually talking to us with. He is a genius.

The good news is that while we didn't get the SPECIAL GUEST we had planned, we are instead joined by Jon Brady ofBigRedBarrel fame, which is something we had secretly been wanting to do anyway.

SO we talk about the rubbish we've bought in the latest Steam sale, and then we answer questions. At some point, I reveal how to beat both alcoholism and the internet.

It is a good show. 

Do you derive pleasure from the heartbreaking severity of Andi's inability to read? I DO.

No guest this week. It only seemed fair, because we knew we were just going to talk about Phantasy Star Online 2 for ages. We should have someone relatively special for episode ten, though. Someone RELATIVELY SPECIAL INDEED.

So there's a load of PSO2 chat, then some Day Z stuff, then the results of our breathtaking DiRT: Showdown competition, then listener questions. It all takes about two hours and is only mildly painful.

OH MY GOSH E3 HAPPENED AND IT WAS A BIT POO

Well, it was if you were sat at home watching the conferences instead of actually being there and playing games and that. But that doesn't stop us sharing our half-baked opinions with YOU.

Andi and Sean are joined by Sean Bamberger this week. He does PR for Sega, but he is only marginally evil.

ALSO there is a competition in this episode to win a copy of DiRT Showdown for the Xbox 360 as well as a t-shirt or something. Listen to the episode to find out how that works. We'll probably also be banging on about it on our Twitter account so pay bloody attention.

CHEERS.

Do you enjoy things that don't exist? Then you'll love the first half of this podcast!!!

I'd explain here, but it's probably easier if you just listen to it. The good news is we spend an hour or so answering your questions, in the company of the delightful Mark Paterson.

Next week, a load of E3-related sobbing, most likely.

Cheers!