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I've written a longer form article on this video, which you can read here:  https://mikemehlman.net/2021/01/26/the-most-beta-excuse-filled-comment-ive-ever-seen

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I had written previous content back in 2017 on when/how to text girls. My answer at the time was "whenever/however the fuck you feel like it." In this new, short clip, I elaborate a bit more and incorporate more evolved perspective.  As I've discussed repeatedly, the male is his most attractive when he is fully deregulated (i.e., 100% winging his interactions). This applies to texting the same way it does to cold approach, your actual dates, and when you have the girl in your bedroom. In other words, the male should never try to regulate his behavior in any way. The more you wing your interactions, the more attractive you are as a male.  When you're texting a girl, don't try to be purposely distancing or cold in order to come off as though you're busy or less needy. Your true state of neediness vs non-neediness will permeate to the surface no matter what. If you try to, e.g., not text a girl for intervals of 3 days because you think that makes you seem less needy, your true state will shine through regardless.  It's less about exact frequency/timing and more about the male just truly winging his interactions. The lower the approach volume of the male, the greater the tendency toward texting girls very soon after meeting them. If the male's approach volume is high, he might not end up texting various girls for weeks to months after the fact.  However, once again, if your approach volume is low and you try to "fake" non-neediness in any way, your true state will permeate to the surface regardless.  If you want to be maximally attractive when texting girls, recognize that insofar as you are engaged in consistent, high-volume approach, the natural behaviors you manifest will be your most attractive.  If you are approaching 50+ girls a day, 4+ days a week, then you launching off a random string of four words to a girl at 237am when you're taking a dump is you at your most attractive.  You think I'm joking but I'm not. When I am engaged in consistent, high-volume approach, I feel very confident about my texting because I recognize that it truly doesn't matter exactly when I text or what I say, because the mere fact that I'm approaching in high-volume means I am at my most attractive state.  You can't fake your level of non-neediness. If you want the most valuable answer as far as how/when to text girls, it genuinely is the case that your texting will be highly variable between girls and that the specifics don't matter.  It's not about calculating your timing and crafting the exact words you say; it's about you maintaining high approach volume and then letting your behavior naturally play out as its most attractive.  Sometimes you'll start texting girls soon after meeting them. Sometimes you won't. Sometimes you'll be more soup with your convos. Sometimes you won't be. Do not attach rigid rules or self-guidelines to what is supposedly ideal via text. As I said, approach consistently and in high volume and let your natural attractive behaviors play out.  "But Michael, you preach about deregulation and maintaining approach volume so that I'm my most attractive, but can you give me at least some sort of idea about when I should text? Like how many days, etc. Just some idea."

Full article: https://mikemehlman.net/2021/01/22/how-long-should-i-wait-to-text-her/

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I had actually written about this a little in my 2017 in my post, 'Absolute biggest myth in history,' but in this current clip I add a bit more in terms of how fucking up, to an effect, could be viewed as a *good* thing.  The same way rejection is a prerequisite for positive outcomes in dating, fucking up with women is a prerequisite for ultimately converting over more and creating low-probability hookups that were previously out of your reach.

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One of the natural phases a male will progress through as he approaches women over time will be that of "enlightened complacency" 2-3 years in.  After approaching girls for 2-3 years, he'll start to ask himself *why* he should even approach at all. Why does he *need* to?  He's demonstrated/proved to himself that he can sleep with various women if he wants to, so why go out of one's way to be hyper-bold and audacious. Is it really necessary, he asks himself.  He hasn't abandoned approach altogether. Of course he still enjoys meeting women. But he just doesn't see a compelling reason to go out of his way to be as stunningly audacious as perhaps he's been up until this point.  I call this the "enlightened complacency" phase because I now view this as one of the predictable phases a male who approaches will pass through as he continues on his journey meeting women.  Males early on in their approach life, even if completely unaware of it, are often out meeting women simply to prove to themselves that they're capable of getting laid. They don't just want to get laid; they want to prove to themselves that they can get laid. They're trying to check off this box on their inner male.  After 2-3 years of getting laid a bit, the male has begun to feel like he's demonstrated to himself that he's capable. Why approach as much if he's already proved he can get laid if he wants to.  So what happens is this: the male enters a lower volume period where he doesn't approach as much. This period will generally last 3-9 months. Yes, he will continue approaching. But not nearly as much. He'll find himself passing up various approaches that require him going out of his way. "I don't need to approach that girl. I'm good."  During this time, his non-neediness and confidence levels begin declining. He's not aware of it. Because he's a fledgling approach practitioner without much experience to reflect on, he doesn't understand the repercussions of lower volume. Nevertheless, he isn't phased in any way and just lives out life, albeit approaching less, over the next 3-9 months. He once again doesn't see a compelling reason to approach. He's generally content, he tells himself.  A guy could theoretically ask, "Michael, but if you're still approaching, even if less, wouldn't your non-neediness and confidence levels still go up? Why would they start declining if you're still approaching. Are you saying non-neediness and confidence are micro-volume-dependent?"  My response is: Although approach always increases the male's non-neediness and confidence, yes, it is the male's increasing frequency of forgoing approaches he thinks about making during his complacency phase that is responsible for the decline in non-neediness and confidence. I've talked about before how there's never any stagnation in the male's non-neediness and confidence baselines. You go up or down with every approach vs non-approach. The male might make gains with the approaches he does make, but he essentially incurs a net loss because forgoing approaches is harmful to his psych.

Full article: https://mikemehlman.net/2021/01/21/the-repercussions-youll-face-if-your-approach-volume-declines/

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In this short clip I talk about one tangible and concrete step the male can take to handle rejection better.  I've discussed in prior content about how to handle rejection, but here I discuss one concrete (and slightly weird and hallucinogenic) way to do just that.

Full post on blog: https://mikemehlman.net/2021/01/19/one-concrete-step-to-handle-rejection-better/

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This will probably be one of my least popular videos and posts because the answer is not what most guys would want to hear.  But I'm not about preaching answers that are designed to pander or make you feel good. I'm about communicating truth.  The main question I was asked was: why might it be the case that some guys who approach consistently for many months still aren't acquiring sexual outcomes / plates.  Before addressing that question head-on, it should be noted that even many guys who would consider themselves active approach practitioners *still* aren't actually as consistent with approach as they imagine themselves to be.  I've said that a male should expect to approach a bare minimum of 4+ days per week, 20-40+ girls per day, for at least 6 months, in order to generate 5+ girls he's seeing. So in theory, to have 2-3 plates, the male could probably get by approaching 20ish girls per day, 4 days per week, for at least 4-6 months.  In contrast, the 2-3 days per week that you approach 10-15 girls don't constitute practitionership. That's better than zero. But, no, I don't consider that sufficient approach.  So the first step in addressing this question is honestly reflecting on whether you have been approaching 4+ days per week, 20-40+ girls per day, for at least 6 months. If no, then you just need to be more patient and put in the work.  The male then says, "No but Michael, *I have* been doing that amount of volume and am not even seeing like one or two girls, so now what? What am I doing wrong?"  I should also make a point that consistency matters just as much as raw approach volume. The growth in male non-neediness and confidence is greater if he approaches 20 girls per day, 4 days per week, versus if he goes out one day per week and approaches 80. Consistency plays into the male psych in a way that cannot be faked. So even if your raw approach volume has been satisfactory, reflect on whether you have been approaching at least four days per week.  And as I've talked about in previous content, the male must also fully deregulate his behavior and not implement any contrivances, i.e., kino, negging, disqualification, etc. The male is his most attractive when he is fully winging his approaches and not trying to circumvent rejection in any way.  Conversations should be short, direct, and pushy. Deregulation is not a permission slip for non-forwardness. Your aim should be to have short, direct convos with girls, while still completely winging it.  You will get rejected incessantly no matter who you are, what you say, or what you do, but I ask that you're patient and do 4+ days per week of approach, 20-40+ approaches per day, for at least 6 months. Then tell me at that point whether you're still not accumulating plates.  "Michael, you're not getting me. I'm telling you that I have been approaching consistently and at high volume like you're talking about. I know I'm more non-needy and confident for sure. But I'm still not seeing results. Why."  Okay, well this is where I give more of an answer guys don't want to hear:

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I've talked about in a prior article about how to establish a repertoire of plates. This current post is more a reiteration of the previous discussion + includes a short video to drive my main points home, mostly in response to a recent comment/question on YouTube about how to establish plates (that's right, let me engage my audience).  The first main thing the male must understand if he wants to create many simultaneous plates is that it is extremely hard to do this because it necessitates high-volume, consistent approach over many months. In other words, it requires an incredible amount of hard work that most guys just aren't willing to invest into the process.  Yet again, there's zero entitlement to living a life where you have a repertoire of plates. And I'm not talking about 2-3 girls you sleep with somewhat routinely and then come out and declare your beta complacency.  I'm talking about having 6-10 different girls you see with varying frequency (i.e., as much as 2-3x a week, and as little as once every couple months) + having frequent dates where you have random hookups with girls who don't become plates.  The # of theoretical plates and hookups you want must be commensurate with the volume of consistent approach you engage in. There's no way around that.  It's not hard to maintain 2-3 plates + have few sporadic hookups. But it *is* hard to maintain 6-10 plates + have many sporadic hookups. The time you invest into approach as an input = your frequency of sexual outcomes as an output. This isn't complicated, but I must reiterate it.  Also, high-volume approach means high-volume rejection. So that leads me to the second point:  In order to live a life where you have many women you're simultaneously seeing + hooking up with, it necessitates that not only are you approaching consistently and with high-volume, but you are also incurring repeated, ongoing rejection at a level most guys can't even come close to fathoming.  This is why most guys simply just don't have many simultaneous plates + hookups. It's a combination of 1) not liking the idea of going out and incurring repeated rejection, and 2) not wanting to invest the time into approach. Guys want quick outcomes but don't recognize that a certain amount of hard work needs to be invested in order to acquire those outcomes.  You don't just go out, make a few approaches, and acquire instant hookups. It doesn't work like that. You must make an inordinate number of approaches (and incur vastly more rejections) compared to any theoretical quantity of hookups you hope to achieve.  I've talked about many times before how rejection will compose the majority of your interactions no matter what. So in order to live a life where you have many simultaneous plates, the amount of rejection you incur as a male needs to exist at a theoretical percentile that corresponds to the rarity of the sexual life you lead.  So if you want a top-0.001% life where you sleep with 10 different girls simultaneously + have many sporadic hookups, then that requires you approach at the top-0.001% level compared to other guys. Your desire for a certain number of plates and hookups must match your investment into approach + incurring rejection.  Some guys want more quantitative discussion though. "Michael, but can you tell me actual numbers. Like, *how many* girls do I need to approach and how often? Just give me an idea."

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In the last clip I made, I talked about why a male who's made many thousands of approaches in the macro, who considers himself to be very confident, can still feel tension with an occasional approach he makes.  I discussed how this is attributed mostly to 1) negative flux in recent micro approach volumes, and 2) mere insufficient diversity of approaches made to date.  However in this clip I make a point about why a male who's made many thousands of approaches in the macro can still actually just be straight-up needy. In other words, if the act of the male approaching over time is supposed to augment his non-neediness and confidence levels, then how is it possible that he can still feel/be needy despite having already made so many approaches.  The reason is because high macro volume in and of itself is not sufficient for fully eradicating the male of neediness and diffidence. It's high-volume *deregulated* approach that augments the male's non-neediness and confidence levels.  That is to say, if the male goes into his approaches attempting to modify his behavior and avoid/circumvent rejection, he will always remain in a needy purgatory. The male needs to *embrace rejection* as a fundamental step in his approach journey.  The male must recognize that rejection will never go away no matter who he is, what he says, or what he does. It's unavoidable. It's an inherent facet of approach/dating. This must be recognized.  He must also be made aware that rejection is the source of male confidence. This is a more difficult concept for most males to grasp, as guys tend to overly focus on acquiring as many outcomes as possible. But the male should, at the very least, be inculcated with the point that his confidence level is linked to his rejections, not his positive outcomes.  So the combination of saying, "Rejection will never go away no matter what + it's the source of my confidence as a male" should help the male embrace it in his approach life.  He should start to view rejection vs non-rejection not as a binary system (i.e., he should not view each individual approach as "I got rejected vs I didn't"), but instead as linear sequences, where he knows that he is unequivocally *guaranteed* to get rejected, e.g., 12 times in a row before exchanging with the 13th girl.  It's OK to incur incessant rejection because not only will it never go away, and not only is it the source of male confidence, but further, it is a prerequisite for ultimately picking up contacts and hooking up.  Once the male internalizes that rejection is normal/unavoidable, the goal becomes not to minimize/avoid it, but rather how to better persevere through it. Once he reaches this stage, he will not worry about modifying his behavior in any way when he goes out approaching - i.e., he will become more deregulated in his behavior.  And when the male fully deregulates (i.e., when he fully wings his approaches), it is only now that he accrues the maximal amount of non-neediness and confidence from each approach he makes...

Full article: https://mikemehlman.net/2021/01/15/how-is-it-possible-that-a-male-whos-made-thousands-of-approaches-can-still-be-needy/

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In this clip I talk about why a male who's very confident and who has made many thousands of approaches can still feel occasional tension on an approach.  In other words, the male asks, "I've made many thousands of approaches. I consider myself to have an extremely high confidence level. In fact, I know I'm very confident. So why do I still feel tension sometimes. Seems weird to me."  There's two main reasons:  The first is, despite your high macro approach volume, your micro (i.e., daily) approach volumes have been lower lately than they should be.  This is an honor system. Only you know how many approaches you've been making recently. You may have made many thousands of approaches to date, but if you genuinely reflect, you're aware you haven't been doing quite as much lately. Because if you're going out and making 50+ approaches 5+ days a week, you can bet that you will not conspicuously feel tension on your approaches. So the feeling you have can be linked to lower micro volumes.  I've used the analogy before that approaching women consistently is akin to going to the gym. It doesn't matter how jacked you are because you've been lifting near-daily for years; if you stop going for three weeks (or your workouts become shorter/meager) you're going to feel a little sore when you do a legitimate session again. So tension can manifest as a result of negative flux in one's micro volumes.  The second reason the male who has high macro volume may still feel tension on an occasional approach is because he's actually still pushing the boundaries of the diversity of approaches he's making.  In other words, maybe you can make 50 street/station approaches on an afternoon with zero issue, and you do that quite often. But then you see a coworker in silence at work and feel a little bit of tension when wanting to ask her out.  I attribute the latter scenario not to the male's fear of repercussion about approaching (i.e., "Will I get in trouble if I ask out a coworker?"), but more to the mere point that a male needs greater approach diversity. If you saw your coworker on the street, you'd approach her confidently and boldly, with zero issues. But at work, for some reason you feel tension.   Recognize that tension associated with any approach can be traced back to caring about others' opinions and judgments in some form.   You need "practice," essentially, with approaching more in scenarios that require shielding out others' opinions and judgments (i.e., other coworkers'; or that of people in silence on the bus/train), even if you have less experience with these types of approaches.  High micro volumes (as I discussed in point #1) can function to help the male "unlock" higher tension approaches he has less experience with. If you are approaching in high volume near-daily, it will be easier to open your coworker in silence, or a girl on a crowded train in silence.   So the bottom line is:  If you consider yourself to have a very high confidence level but still experience tension on an occasional approach and are wondering why...

Full article: https://mikemehlman.net/2021/01/15/ive-made-many-thousands-of-approaches-why-do-i-still-feel-tension-sometimes/

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This is a raw, longer-form articulation of my thoughts on a topic that is pretty tough to discuss in a short, consolidated way.  In this clip I talk about two main topics:  1) How to maintain a female's *sexual* interest throughout the course of an interaction/relationship with her; and  2) How to maintain a relationship where she's committed to you yet tolerates you sleeping around (i.e., how to have your cake and eat it too).  For point #1, I emphasize *sexual* because relationships can be healthy longer term yet platonic sexually.  Attraction based on love, mutual respect, and appreciation for the other's goodness can keep two people together, despite the interaction becoming more platonic sexually with time.  For point #2, it is possible to have a healthy relationship with a female where you develop deeper connection + she stays committed to you and obsessed sexually, all while you continue to see others. It just requires hard work to get there.  I will make other videos on these topics eventually most likely. But this is a raw clip where I at least preliminarily get my thoughts out on the table.