107 episodes into this thing, we've finally stumbled across it: the *perfect* investment strategy. You've tried Ponzi schemes, you've tried multi-level marketing companies, you've tried toothbrushes that are also vibrators... folks, try no more. We've got the solution, and it's oaks. Elms! Birches! Weeping Willows! Trees, people! This money literally grows itself. Get in on the ground floor with us today, and you'll gain access to our exclusive library of other really smart investment ideas, including: cars, terrifying virtual reality experiences, wheelchair jousting, mirrors but for the floor, and so much more.

Pairings: less glucose than you need; a 4-star hotel at a 5-star price; ironing, floored